16 Oct 2026
S4 E5: The Hidden Ways Childhood Trauma Shapes Relationships, Leadership, and Healing with Tyrrea L. Graves
What if some of the ways we communicate, respond to conflict, build relationships, and lead others are connected to messages we learned long before we understood their meaning?
In this powerful and deeply personal conversation, Dr. Esther Bubb welcomes back Tyrrea L. Graves, MEd, MBA, BCBA, LBS—Board-Certified Behavior Analyst, educator, entrepreneur, speaker, and author of Unspoken Truths: Marriage, Power, Secrets, and Survival.
Drawing on more than 20 years of experience working with children and families, Tyrrea shares how childhood experiences, family dynamics, and the unspoken messages we inherit can influence our adult behavior, relationships, communication, and leadership. Through personal reflection, behavioral science, and storytelling, she invites us to consider the patterns we carry, the triggers we may not fully understand, and the truths we may have learned to keep silent.
Together, Esther and Tyrrea explore:
Childhood mantras and learned behavior: How messages such as “be strong,” “keep family matters private,” and “just get along” can influence the way we navigate adulthood.
The power of self-reflection: Why asking “Why does this trigger me?” and “When was the first time I felt this way?” can open the door to greater self-awareness.
Silence and healing: How unspoken experiences can remain influential and why creating space for honest, compassionate conversations matters.
Generational patterns: How family norms and coping strategies can be passed down—and how intentional choices can help interrupt patterns we no longer want to repeat.
Behavior analysis beyond traditional practice: How Tyrrea combines her professional knowledge and love of reading to make behavioral concepts accessible through fiction.
Leadership and emotional intelligence: Why understanding our own triggers, values, and responses can help us better serve the people we lead.
Boundaries, self-care, and growth: Why recognizing our capacity, giving ourselves grace, and working on ourselves over time are essential parts of the journey.
This conversation is a reminder that understanding behavior requires more than looking at what someone does. It calls for curiosity about learning history, relationships, context, and the experiences that may be influencing the present.
As Tyrrea reminds us, silence does not erase trauma. Her journey also offers an important message about taking responsibility for our growth, seeking support when needed, and making conscious choices about what we carry forward.
Whether you are a leader, educator, behavior analyst, parent, or someone reflecting on your own personal journey, this episode invites you to look beneath the surface, challenge inherited assumptions, and consider what it means to create different possibilities for yourself and future generations.
Reflection
What messages did you learn growing up that still influence how you communicate, respond to conflict, establish boundaries, or lead others today?
0.5 Free BCBA Ethics CEU Available
If you would like to obtain 0.5 Free Ethics CEU after listening to the episode, email Dr. Bubb at mail@esthercbubbabaservices.com.
About Behaviorally Speaking: Leadership for Change Makers
Behaviorally Speaking: Leadership for Change Makers is hosted by Dr. Esther C. Bubb, a behavior analyst and educational leader who explores leadership, behavior, dignity, organizational culture, and systems change.
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