A weekly podcast with Emily and Josh called Emily Josh Pod, about the stuff that happens each week. This is the worst description I can imagine. Man, I hate writing descriptions. You know what would be better than this?
"I'd never given much thought to how I would die — though I'd had reason enough in the last few months — but even if I had, I would not have imagined it like this. I stared without breathing across the long room, into the dark eyes of the hunter, and he looked pleasantly back at me. Surely it was a good way to die, in the place of someone else, someone I loved. Noble, even. That ought to count for something. I knew that if I'd never gone to Forks, I wouldn't be facing death now. But, terrified as I was, I couldn't bring myself to regret the decision. When life offers you a dream so far beyond any of your expectations, it's not reasonable to grieve when it comes to an end. The hunter smiled in a friendly way as he sauntered forward to kill me."
There, that's much better.
The Big Gay Budget Kitesurfing Political Fanfic Special
Emily and Josh attempt a hot take on the Budget but get so bored that they pivot to smutty gay fiction and the podcast instantly becomes 1000 percent better. Also: the bud-shit, lolly scrambles, kittens in blenders, Emily advocates for destroying the lives of retirees (but only the rich ones); Josh calls for full-blown communism (actually a UBI); Emily gets giddy about Kim Hill; and there is an extended discussion about gay kitesurfing brothers who ply their trade in waters infested by crocodiles and deadly jellyfish. Then they invent a new smut series on the spot and come up with a way to make politics actually interesting.
Plus: a guided restaurant meditation!
22 May 2026
Flooding the Zone with Synthetic Quotes
In which Emily and Josh crash out about how the Government are hell-bent on replacing humans with lying robots, how the government's finances are nothing at all like a households', and why the Reserve Bank's job is to make sure some people don't have jobs. We also discover some brand new words like "synthetic quotes," and "jorkin' it," the latter arising somehow in the context of the movie Sheep Detective.
15 May 2026
Taking The Piss (Out Of Politicians Who Do Weird Pee Things)
This week on Emily Josh Pod: how parenting babies is harder than parenting teenagers; parental memory loss, how parenting babies is harder than parenting teenagers, parental memory loss, how easy it is to raise teenagers vs babies, parental memory loss. Also recapping NZ political news, including the sheer number of New Zealand politicians with pee-related incidents, delays to (terrible) new Government initiatives like the new curriculum and the under-16 social media ban; more weird dudes saying unhinged stuff online, the impacts of online misogyny and racism. Also: A meditation, and Emily discovering that turkeys are real and potentially more parental memory loss, we don't actually remember long enough to type up show notes.
1 May 2026
Emily Josh Pod 07: This Grisly Coalition
In this episode one of us finally gets enough sleep! Find out who. Also: fighting over chores, teenage BO, Lynx Africa & Impulse Vanilla Kisses, the horrible anniversary of the death of pay equity, "this grisly coalition", the attempted hatchet job on Bloody Samoan, and flag burning in bogan incinerators.
And, as always, a soothing meditation.
24 Apr 2026
Emily Josh Pod 06: I Would Like To Speak To The Manager
In this episode of Emily Josh Pod: the cat came back! (Just not the very next day.) Also: we lurch from one crisis to another, someone would like to speak to Emily's manager as she has had quite enough human misery (we haven't) why are adults stopping kids from raising funds for other kids in certain countries (we know why), the weird and quite malevolent forces behind the social media ban, and being distraught because the Free Speech Union is right about something. Also, as always, a calming meditation to end your week.
17 Apr 2026
Emily Josh Pod 05: Pathological Wealth Accumulation
In a game-changing world-first, this week Emily and Josh record the podcast in the same room! Discussions include: how Pete Hegseth and fellow evangelicals haven't read the Bible, what God told Ezekiel to do to prove his mettle, RFK's propensity for dismembering roadkill, and how Pathological Wealth Accumulation should be in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual. Also, Chris Luxon's absolute confidence in the numbers, which he has, and which he's not at all worried about, our replacement for representative democracy, universal basic incomes, winning Lotto, and moving to the Commune. Also a LIVE MEDITATION.
10 Apr 2026
Emily Josh Pod 04: Technical Difficulties
In which Emily and Josh are traumatised by the news cycle, as is everyone else in the entire world,
Also covered: modern case for stoicism, the Serenity Prayer, Death Cult Christianity, what to do if you're experiencing a crisis in faith, what queer community can teach us, and how leftists are all super annoying.
We also discuss nostalgia for the lost, lamented Georgie Pie, the country's greatest pie (the Keri Pie) doing stuff with Bush Boys on familial waterbeds in Tokoroa, Emily's driving skills as evidenced by her duct-tape car, industrial-sized nangs, and how Emily got a guy with a weirdly-named goat to vote Green.
Plus a free meditation.
3 Apr 2026
Emily Josh Pod 03: Room Temperature Milk
Emily and Josh discuss some politicians' extremely specific fetishes (giant tiddies, room temperature milk). Also analysed is the Joy of Tramadol, the cure for ADHD, what meatheads get right, the living nightmare that is Simeon Brown, what's wrong with David Seymour's face, and how we wish that libertarians would all just make good on their threat to move to the middle of the ocean. We also talk about Emily acquiring a green spandex suit for Armageddon and "bedroom roleplay purposes' and close with a dubious meditation.
27 Mar 2026
Emily Josh Pod 02: We Get Glimmers
In which Josh and Emily discuss being in a good mood because terrible people are leaving politics, the trammels of neoliberalism, what would happen if you shaved David Brent, living in heartland New Zealand, what if Labour had a leader with charisma, and how unemployed people are the brave foot soldiers of our economy who are going into the breach to save us from inflation. The Tom Phillips case is talked about in the light of the fact that police were working with Netflix to produce a documentary even as the case was being pursued. Then it's how Chappel Roan is innocent and an extended section on slurs. Then Ronnie visits to explain Chipmunk Hunk and there is a meditation to close.
20 Mar 2026
Emily Josh Pod 01: It's Been A Day
A podcast with Emily Writes and Josh Drummond. In this episode, the first one that's for the actual general public and not paying subscribers, they kick things off with a chat about THE ABSOLUTE STATE OF IT, the horrors, the ever-increasing horrors, and why everyone seems to be losing their rag online. Topics include: the internet is cooked, social media is cooked, the hierarchy of violence in mainstream media, goblin mode is BACK, everyone is ADHD now, menopause and the difficulties of Shrivel Dick Syndrome, solidarity for sleepless parents, should Josh make a late-stage career change to audio porn. Then there's a cleansing meditation to close. Subscribe to Emily Josh Pod on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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