First Love, Second Live

About First Love, Second Live

Join host Jacob Melville as he delves deep and explores topics ranging from Spirituality, Mental Health, and Healthy Masculinity to Philosophy, Psychology, and the merging of Eastern with Western thinking, always asking the question "How can I live from Love?". By pulling from a broad range of seemingly unrelated fields, we'll uncover new and unique perspectives that you can carry into your everyday life and relationships.

Publisher

Jacob Melville

Category

health & fitness

Language

en

Explicit

No

First episode

5 Dec 2021

Latest episode

2 Mar 2022

Latest episodes

7 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   2 Mar 2022

   Ep 7. Intergenerational Trauma - From Blame and Shame to Responsibility and Freedom

   Today's episode is about intergenerational trauma as a new concept and framework through which we can gain liberation from old stories and the "stuckness" that can plague so many of us on the path towards wellbeing. While we may be very familiar with our own stories and life events, sometimes our own history can only explain so much about how we've become who we are. By broadening our scope to include past generations and their life experiences, we gain a new way of understanding our origins. Because information is passed on to us through genetics, beliefs, home environments, unconscious beliefs and many other subtle forms of influence, our own experience of life is in fact shaped by all generations of our ancestors. If our caregivers were never given the tools to deal with things such as anxiety, negative emotions, trauma, disappointment etc, then they would not be equipped to pass those tools onto us. Seeing our lives through this new lens, we are able to gain a freedom from the shame and blame that can keep us stuck in old and unhealthy patterns as we realize that we are not internally flawed or weak, and that we have the power now as conscious adults to give ourselves the tools and freedom and love that we have always sought. There is no roadblock, only an inability to access our power for growth and forgiveness and self acceptance. Learning to tell ourselves new, liberating, and empowering stories about who we are, about our own resilience and strength, and about our own commitment to breaking the cycle of intergenerational trauma allows us to begin healing our wounds so as to save future generations from the same pain. Fostering self love and nurturing our sense of security and peace is no longer just a selfish act, but one that helps us honour the sacrifices and suffering of our ancestors while simultaneously working to give our own descendants a better life than we have known. Our own healing is now a journey for all of humanity as we work to foster peace in ourselves and shine it back out into the world at large. If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a rating and review and share it with a loved one. Much love IG @jgvmel It Didn't Start With You book by Mark Wolynn https://amzn.to/3pqGuPB (https://amzn.to/3pqGuPB) Scholarly article on mechanics of intergenerational trauma: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6127768/?source=post_page-----6d300d70f047---------------------- (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6127768/?source=post_page-----6d300d70f047----------------------)

2. 

   26 Jan 2022

   Ep 6. Shorts vol. 1 - Ghost in the Machine

   Today's episode is the first in a new series called Shorts. These episode will feature a short story written and shared by Jacob that speak about the same themes that are explored on the show - Mental Health, Happiness, Growth, Healing from Trauma, Relationships, Spirituality, and Making Sense of Our Lives. These Shorts will be interspersed throughout our regular episodes as a break from long and complex talks to allow room for a slightly different way of exploring these topics. Telling stories is something uniquely human, and we all do it in our own lives to one extent or another. Stories help us make sense of and attribute meaning to the events in our lives in a coherent way so that we can draw connections and live as fully integrated humans. Just as in real life, the meaning that each person finds in a story is unique to them and their own perspective. In this way, hopefully the short stories shared here will provide another lens for you the listener to continue making sense of and drawing meaning from your own experiences and navigating the story of your own life. Whether you can relate to the experiences described in the story yourself, or you know someone in your life who can, my hope is that these stories will spark insights and conversations amongst you and those closest to you. No one should suffer alone, no one needs to hide their struggles. Our struggles are what draw us together and allow us to connect, but only when we are able to accept them as our teachers and create space to hear their message and to share that with others. In sharing, our load becomes lighter and our happiness becomes brighter. Namaste

3. 

   12 Jan 2022

   Ep 5. Progress is Success - Choosing Happiness in Each Moment

   Not only is happiness available to you right now, but you already hold all the keys within you to unlock and release the chains that have been holding you back. As children, each of us learnt and programmed certain attitudes and assumptions about how the world works and who we are. Because these programs were laid down through the eyes of our child self, when left unexamined they can create barriers in our adult lives between us and the love and happiness that we yearn for. Through cultivating a practice of witnessing our inner dialogue and stories from the perspective of loving self compassion, we can enter into a powerful process of reparenting ourselves and stepping into our own Truth and wellbeing. Though far from an easy or quick path, this process can in the long run lead to our finding a much more free, easy going, imperturbable way of being in the world. Once we gain space from our limiting and painful stories, we may find that we are able to step back and simply enjoy with a sense of wonder each new experience that life offers us. Once we cultivate a sense of self love and acceptance, we may find that nothing in life can disturb us or pull us from our equanimity, and that we now have only love and compassion for our fellow humans where before we may have held resentment or bitterness. Once we understand our own suffering and its origins, we may come to realize that every human is dealing with a life just as complex and confusing as ours, and that they deserve only compassion for the journey they are on and the attempts they are making to find their own happiness. Once we realize our own inner light is infinite and sacred, we may find ourselves shining it for the betterment of all so that they too can realize the Truth of their own divinity. Works referenced and other resources: Dr. K on youtube, talking mental health, spirituality, east meets west, and doing interviews with people to help them understand their origins and how to become free from their limiting stories: Interview with Reckful - https://youtu.be/LZVTbFuZrNw (https://youtu.be/LZVTbFuZrNw) Channel - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClHVl2N3jPEbkNJVx-ItQIQ (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClHVl2N3jPEbkNJVx-ItQIQ) TRE - Tension and Trauma Release Exercises for calming the nervous system and recalibrating towards a state of inner calm: Summary - https://youtu.be/9Flm8v8IKCg (https://youtu.be/9Flm8v8IKCg) Walkthrough - https://youtu.be/FeUioDuJjFI (https://youtu.be/FeUioDuJjFI) Book on ACT Therapy for learning to reframe our stories from helpless to empowering: A Liberated Mind: How to Pivot Toward What Matters by Steven C. Hayes PhD https://amzn.to/3K4MdmW (https://amzn.to/3K4MdmW) Book on the modern day psychedelic resurgence and their potential for healing mental illness How to Change Your Mind: What the New Science of Psychedelics Teaches Us About Consciousness, Dying, Addiction, Depression, and Transcendence by Michael Pollan https://amzn.to/3GlX5L5 (https://amzn.to/3GlX5L5) For more on Breathwork check out Wim Hoff, or on instagram see @owakenbreathwork and @timmorrison_ For a more comprehensive look at this approach and its applications see @the.holistic.psychologist on instagram or read her book: How to Do the Work: Recognize Your Patterns, Heal from Your Past, and Create Your Self by Dr. Nicole LePera : https://amzn.to/3nlyZZo (https://amzn.to/3nlyZZo)

4. 

   29 Dec 2021

   Ep 4. Meditation and Enlightenment pt. 2 - Living from Love

   Prepare yourself to never see life and the world around you the same as you once did. Today's episode is about what it means to live an enlightened life and the perspectives and world views that predicate that shift into higher levels of consciousness. While most of us live like fish who are unaware of the water that surrounds us and gives life to our world, there is a much deeper and much more fundamental level of reality than we have thus far been led to believe. Through our consistent meditation and spiritual practice, we may be fortunate enough to tune into and directly experience this deeper truth - the truth that we are one with all of existence, that our sense of being a separate self is only an illusion. From this profound shift in the way we perceive our reality, one thing becomes plain - living from love is the only thing that makes sense. This love is always available, is inside us already, and does not depend upon any external circumstance for us to experience it. We can be the source of the very love we seek to attain. We can embody this love and in doing so create a happier and more peaceful world for all. In this frame, our spiritual path becomes an act of service for all beings, since our own awakening leads to a reduction in suffering for everyone we come in contact with. Further Learning: Rupert Spira is a great teacher about these topics and can be found all over Youtube and the podcast world Roger Castillo is another teacher in this school of thought and offers many teachings and workshops - https://www.youtube.com/c/RogerCastilloBeingLivedofficial (https://www.youtube.com/c/RogerCastilloBeingLivedofficial) A wonderful travel memoir about India incorporating these deeps spiritual teachings - The Shadow that Seeks the Sun: Finding Joy, Love and Answers on the Sacred River Ganges by Ray Brooks : https://amzn.to/3JssjlB (https://amzn.to/3JssjlB)

5. 

   19 Dec 2021

   Ep 3. Meditation and Enlightenment pt. 1 - Where Do We Begin?

   Today, Jacob is sharing what he thinks every person starting a meditation practice should know. We're very fortunate to have so many meditations available to us online, but this can lead to a lot of confusion and frustration when none of the teachings are specifically made for where we are at. By addressing some questions such as - Why meditate? What is the goal and what am I aiming for? How do I know if I'm making progress or doing it right? and What effect might this have on my daily life? - we are setting ourselves up for a deep and committed practice that can start us on a profound and revelatory journey. Whether you are experienced or a newcomer, gaining clarity in this way will help set you on a course of awakening and embodying an attitude of love in daily living. In part 2, we'll be discussing just what that awakening might look like, how our world views and perceptions of reality might change, and just what exactly we will be freeing ourselves from in the process. Thanks for tuning in and happy sitting! The Wisdom of Yoga by Stephen Cope: https://amzn.to/3xXm4Ba (https://amzn.to/3xXm4Ba) p.s. This episode is best listened to on low volume for best sound quality. I've put a note in with the audio engineer and this should be fixed for our next episode :) Feedback welcome at firstlovesecondlive@gmail.com (mailto:firstlovesecondlive@gmail.com)

6. 

   5 Dec 2021

   Ep 2. Yoga of Relationships

   In our first full length episode, Jacob shares some of his latest insights and research into how we can use our personal relationships as a force for growth on our spiritual journey. Referencing work from Ram Das, Stephen Cope and others, we tie together Yoga, Trauma Theory, Psychotherapeutic models, and the quest for Awakening into a new framework for how we relate to others - especially in intimate relationships. Echoing what Ram Das speaks about, we can consciously move our relationships from "me and you" to "we" and finally to just "I" as we learn to release our ego identification and see that there is a higher consciousness generated and shared by two people in Love. By turning our triggers on their head and always leading with love, we can find a new way of traversing the world where we gradually become lighter and more free over time, rather than continuously increasing our emotional rigidity and need for control. Works Referenced: Ram Das Here and Now Podcast, Episode 17 : Yoga of Relationships https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/ram-dass-here-and-now/id518366323 (https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/ram-dass-here-and-now/id518366323) https://youtu.be/CJXTyfa-cy4 (https://youtu.be/CJXTyfa-cy4) https://open.spotify.com/episode/0xuRbOcmQUAOxT4dsHg6sm?si=ihTkgD5QR4SE2iAyVioerw (https://open.spotify.com/episode/0xuRbOcmQUAOxT4dsHg6sm?si=ihTkgD5QR4SE2iAyVioerw) Yoga and the Quest for the True Self by Stephen Cope https://amzn.to/3CqjZxY (https://amzn.to/3CqjZxY) Gabor Mate w/ Tim Ferris on Reframing Challenging Moments https://youtu.be/__JLFw2FtEQ (https://youtu.be/__JLFw2FtEQ) Why We Pick Difficult Partners from School of Life https://youtu.be/Hvysy11716g (https://youtu.be/Hvysy11716g) "A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty" - Winston Churchill Feedback welcome at firstlovesecondlive@gmail.com (mailto:firstlovesecondlive@gmail.com) Thanks for tuning in and see you next time!

7. 

   5 Dec 2021

   Ep 1. An Introduction and Where We're Headed

   Welcome and Namaste, Jacob gives a quick synopsis of what to expect as we embark on this journey together. And so we begin!