How Healing Happens Podcast

About How Healing Happens Podcast

I'm a scientist-turned-therapist who bows to mystery. I write about healing complex trauma for the ones who refuse to choose a single path. For people who've done the work and still don't feel whole. Grounded woo. linneabutler.substack.com (https://linneabutler.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast)

Publisher

Linnea Butler

Category

health & fitness · religion & spirituality

Language

en

Explicit

No

First episode

18 May 2025

Latest episode

8 Oct 2026

Latest episodes

26 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   8 Oct 2026

   Ask Me Anything: Somatic Psychology and Practices

   This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit linneabutler.substack.com (https://linneabutler.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_7) I invited my readers to send me their questions about somatic healing and have answered them here in video format. A list of the questions addressed is below. If, after watching this video, you have further comments or questions please drop them in the comments, or if it feels to private you can feel free to DM me.

2. 

   10 Sept 2026

   Telling Your Story Isn’t the Same as Being Witnessed

   In my first year of graduate school one of our required classes was poetry therapy. As a child I loved writing poetry so you might be surprised that seeing this class on my schedule make me break out in a cold sweat. There have always been two things with the ability to break me open: music and poetry. Even though when I entered graduate school I thought I had finished all of my healing work, some part of me knew there were dark recesses that I had not explored and poetry was likely to shine light onto them. I wasn’t wrong. The class was led by poet and therapist John Fox, founder of the The Institute for Poetic Medicine (https://www.poeticmedicine.org/). John is a gentle wizard and knows how to create a container where we could peer into those dark places while still feeling held. One poem I wrote in the class was about my experience with childhood sexual abuse. Somehow I knew it needed to be witnessed and I asked John for permission to read it to the class. (I won’t share the poem here because there’s a difference between reading something to a classroom and sharing it with 10,000 people, and I’m not quite ready for that level of exposure.) Halfway through I was sobbing. The kind of ugly cry we usually reserve for the bathroom or when we are in bed hiding under the covers. John asked if I wanted to stop, but I knew I needed to keep going. Afterward I had a vulnerability hangover. I felt shaky and wondered whether I had gone too far. What really caught me off guard was that every person in the class came up to me to offer encouragement and to share something of their own experiences. I think that was the moment I realized just how common sexual abuse is. One woman asked for a copy of the poem to use in her own work and I was happy to give it to her. The reason that moment was so powerful was not the writing of the poem. It was the act of being witnessed. What Happens when Someone Actually Sees you Years later as a licensed trauma therapist, I created a group called Survivors for women who had experienced sexual violence. The purpose of the group was not to retell stories, but to be witnessed in a way that goes beyond narration of an event. Retelling can actually reinforce traumatic patterns in the brain, but being witnessed can teach the brain new pathways. In the Survivors group, a consistent pattern I noticed was one woman sharing something, then the others sighing with relief and sharing some version of “I thought I was the only one!” I have believed for a long time that being witnessed is one of the most powerful aspects of healing. It is also one of the least examined. We tend to talk about it as a thing that happens alongside the real work but maybe it is more than that. Here's what the research says… The most consistent finding in psychotherapy outcomes research is not about technique or modality but about the relationship between client and therapist. But what is it exactly that does the healing? Is it warmth? Hope? Simply not being alone? We are built to be wary of what other people tell us. That caution is protection and it only softens when we are seen accurately and in our wholeness, with someone reflecting our inner state back to us in a way that tells us that they deeply listened and understood. Until that happens, nothing really gets in. The very experience of having our subjectivity understood — of being mentalized — is a necessary trigger for us to be able to receive and learn from social knowledge. — Peter Fonagy and Elizabeth Allison Now, read that again with childhood trauma in mind. If early life experiences taught you that people consistently misread you or used what you shared against you, you end up with more than just some painful memories but also an inability to receive. The channel of nourishment stays closed with the nice teacher or the good friend who might otherwise have been able to offer needed support. Truly excellent therapy not only teaches you skills, but reopens that channel so that you become available to receive and your life becomes a source of learning again. We are hurt in relationship, and we heal in relationship. That is the mechanism. Not Every Witness is Safe Many survivors of childhood trauma go through a period of having an intense urge to share their story. I understand the urge, and I always encourage caution and discernment during this time. An analysis completed in 2019 reviewed 51 studies on what happens after survivors disclose interpersonal violence to others. Negative social reactions were associated with worse psychological outcomes, which is predictable. What was less predictable is that while positive reactions were helpful, that helpfulness did not outweigh harms of a negative reaction. In other words, a good witness helps, but a bad witness does damage that a good one may not be able to undo. The worst situation is stepping into vulnerability with someone who is not emotionally safe, or who may be safe but not prepared to hold what you have to share. In the later case your disclosure may trigger them in a way you could not have predicted and that isn’t fair to them. Either way, you are left feeling raw and more deeply wounded than before. The nervous system of a complex trauma survivor often can't tell the difference between safe and unsafe, because familiarity and safety were fused in the mind of the survivor and have never been disentangled. The person who feels most familiar may end up being the least safe. This hints at one of the reasons I am cautious about AI chatbots as substitutes for therapy. AI can feel genuinely empathetic and seemingly attuned to your own inner emotional state. A Brown University team named this “deceptive empathy”. For a person who experienced relational injury this could actually deepen the existing wound. Becoming Your Own Witness There is a step beyond being witnessed by another person that is even more profound. Offering witness to yourself. I often talk with my clients about developing a witnessing self: a simultaneously compassionate and dispassionate part of us that can step back and hold all of the complexity of a situation at once, without becoming entangled with any of it. The witnessing self is key to developing cognitive and emotional flexibility, one of the hallmarks of a truly healthy individual. The witnessing self is cultivated in Buddhist practice as well as in Internal Family Systems, which names it the capital-S-Self. The difference between being blended with an emotional state and offering self witnessing is the difference between “I am afraid” and “I’m noticing a sense of fear”. They sound similar, but in the second version there is a gap between the emotion and the person. Within that gap lies freedom. When you live inside a narrative of a thing that happened, it can dominate and run (ruin) your life. Alternatively, you can simply notice and experience what is showing up at any given moment, whether it is a thought, a sensation or a feeling. The witnessing self does the latter. It’s simple, but not easy. Neurologically speaking, it takes more energy to suppress a reactive emotional state (I will NOT be afraid) than to witness it (I’m noticing some fear). In other words, it costs less to observe an emotional state than to fight yourself on it. In my experience, the witnessing self is also accessible in ketamine assisted psychotherapy (KAP), and this is one of its great benefits. In ketamine work a person is dissociated from their body and able to gain a wider perspective, like taking the 30,000 foot view of a situation. In one of my early experiences with my own KAP work I was able to step back and witness my own fear without feeling like I was drowning in it. While there are benefits to doing intentional ketamine work, I'm not advocating it without reservation. The dramatic increase in recreational use of ketamine and subsequent addiction is reason enough to exercise extreme caution, though that is not the only reason. Plainly said, psychedelics are not meant for everyone. Sequencing Matters It might seem tempting to skip over finding a safe witness and go straight to self witnessing. But there is a catch. You can't witness yourself in a way that you have never been witnessed by another. Building an internal capacity for witnessing is not a workaround to skip the relational capacity. The internal witness is the relational witness that has been integrated into Self. By the time I read my poem to the poetry therapy class, I had already done years of my own trauma healing work. Even so, I did not have the capacity to offer witnessing to myself, until my classmates offered it to me first. When Someone Deeply Listens to You by John Fox When someone deeply listens to youit is like holding out a dented cupyou’ve had since childhoodand watching it fill up withcold, fresh water.When it balances on top of the brim,you are understood.When it overflows and touches your skin,you are loved. When someone deeply listens to youthe room where you staystarts a new lifeand the place where you wroteyour first poembegins to glow in your mind’s eye.It is as if gold has been discovered! When someone deeply listens to youyour bare feet are on the earthand a beloved land that seemed distantis now at home within you. Thank you for being a paid subscriber. Here is your companion practice guide: Meeting the One Who Witnesses A guided parts work dialog for strengthening the Witnessing Self For this practice you'll need to set aside 30 to 40 minutes and you'll need a pen and paper. I recommend hand writing rather than typing as it makes it more visceral and potent. The Safety Gate Questions This practice deliberately brings you into contact with a part of you that is holding something difficult. That's useful only if there is enough of you present to do the witnessing. If there isn't, you risk flooding. So before continuing ask yourself these questions: * Can I feel my feet on the ground? Press your feet into the floor and notice the pressure. If you have a difficult time connecting with the sensation then do this practice another time. * If this gets difficult and I need support, who can I reach for? Identify an actual person you will contact and make sure they can be available for you. * Am I doing this from a state of internal urgency? Urgency is a yellow flag. A part of you that wants to speed through is most often a protector part. If you notice a sense of urgency, work with the protector part first. * Am I feeling physically healthy, have I eaten the right foods and am I sober? This question is mundane… and non-negotiable. Disclaimer: If you are in a state of crisis, in the first weeks after a life disruption, or moving through a period of destabilization, don't do this alone. Bring it to your therapist and do it with them. Finding the Center Start by placing your feet on the ground and take three breaths, with a longer exhale than the inhale. The exhale engages the parasympathetic nervous system and tells your system to relax. Orient yourself in your space by looking around the room and naming five three things that you can see, four things you can hear, three things you can feel (touch) and one thing you can smell or taste. At the top of your piece of paper write the following: Right now I am the one who is noticing. The Dialog In this dialogue we are going to work with one part only, not a complex problem. If this is your first time doing parts work, choose something with an easy to medium level of difficulty. Don't begin with the youngest and most wounded part in you - that is the graduate level course. * Locate the part: Begin to get curious about where this part lives in the body. Most parts have a location, such as behind the sternum, in the shoulders, or in the jaw. If you don't notice a location within the body, ask the part whether it has an image, an age, a posture, or a quality. On your paper, write down where this part is and what it feels like. * Focus your attention on the part: Place your attention on the location or description of the part and leave it there for 1 to 2 minutes without trying to change anything. Just stay fully present with it. * Flesh it out: Now on your piece of paper, take some time to really write out the details. (Don’t ask “why” questions since they tend to recruit the thinking mind, which is unhelpful in this process.) * How old does this part feel? * What does it look like or feel like? * What is it doing? * What is it braced against? * Feel toward the part: ask yourself, how do I feel toward this part right now? This is important, so really slow it down and get curious and honest without any self judgment. Write out your answer. * If you noticed a lot of judgmental thoughts like "I'm sick of it, I want it gone, it's pathetic, I don't have time for this" or it feels like you're stuck and just staring at a blank page, then you are blended with a second part that has an opinion about the first one. This is completely normal and it can happen even to experience practitioners. * If this happens don't try and force it or push through. Turn toward the critical or impatient second part and communicate with that one instead. You might even ask if it would be willing to sit back a little bit and give you some space to work with the first part. Then wait until you notice a shift. You might notice reduced tension in your chest or breathing a little bit more freely, for example. * Re-read what you wrote at the very top of the page: right now I am the one who was noticing. Then come back to the centering and orienting process from part one. Don't move on to the next step until you have a felt sense of the part that you want to work with. * Befriend the part: This is the longest part of the journaling exercise. Ask the part each of these questions and give it plenty of space to respond in writing. * How long have you been doing this job? * What are you worried of happening if you stop doing the job? * What do you most need me to know right now? * What do you most want from me right now? * Close with gratitude: It's important to properly close any parts work exercise with gratitude and acknowledgment. Take a deep breath with a long, extended exhale. * Next on your paper write: You have been doing this since I was [age] and no one ever told you that it was safe to stop. Thank you for doing your best to protect me. * Then write down what you can offer to that part, such as “I will check in with you once a week” or whatever feels right. It is important not to promise anything you don’t feel you can commit to. Parts are like children and they remember broken promises. * Lastly, re-oriented yourself using the process from Step One. Recognizing When “witnessing self” is Actually a Part With enough time and repetition, you may develop something that looks like a witnessing self but is actually a part. It is calm, articulate, and fluent in the language of parts work. It can be tricky to tell the difference. There are a few telltale signs you can watch for to see if it may be a part and not Self: * It answers very quickly. Almost like it wants to move on to the next step before having a chance to breathe. Real self energy is doesn’t move that fast. * It's slightly impatient, something like "we've been over this already, can't we just move to the next thing?” * You realize that you're not tracking your body and physical sensation, or that nothing in your body is shifting during the process. * Afterward you feel buttoned up rather than tender. Parts work is vulnerable and if you have worked with Self energy you may need a little time to rest afterward. Any of these signs could indicate that you're actually working with an intellectualizing protector part that is pretending to be the witness. The most important test is somatic, not verbal or cognitive. Genuinely witnessing from the Self has kind of warmth to it and a physical softening. Cold clarity is a defense. Warm clarity is the center. If you notice the cool, intellectualizing protector part that's OK. Thank you for protecting you and then go back to Step Four. The Third Person Journaling Option For days when you're having a lot of difficulty connecting with Self and finding your center, or when one of the safety gates say ‘no’, you can use this option. This comes out of the research by Kross and Moser who found that reflecting on difficult material using a third person view reduces emotional reactivity. Write three or four sentences in your journal about what is happening right now using the third person voice. Instead of writing "I", write "he/she/they" and then describe the situation like if a friend was describing it. For example, I might write something like “Linnea is really frustrated today. She is noticing tension in her shoulders, a tightness in her jaw and tearws behind her eyes. She realizes that she is harboring an old resentment…” It's an incredibly simple practice but it's powerful but because it helps you find some distance from identification with the feeling. This is the beginning of witnessing. If you spend just 2 to 5 minutes doing this daily, you'll be able to find your center and access Self much more easily in subsequent sessions. Meeting the One Who Witnesses The companion practice is for paid subscribers. It is a guided parts work dialogue for building a witnessing self that includes: * A four question safety gate for deciding whether today is the right time for this work * How to recognize the difference between Self and a part * A six step dialogue for unblending with a part * What to do when the Witnessing Self is inaccessible Upgrade to get the guide (and everything else): From my heart to yours New here? I’m a scientist-turned-psychotherapist and I write about healing, trauma, and psychospiritual growth at the intersection. Love what you are reading? Restack or share it with a friend If you recognize your own spiral in this work and you’re wondering whether you need to do this alone — you don’t. I offer psychospiritual coaching for people doing deep healing work. Let’s Talk → (https://linneabutler.com/) This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit linneabutler.substack.com/subscribe (https://linneabutler.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2)

3. 

   31 Aug 2026

   Ask Me Anything: Healing Trauma Edition

   This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit linneabutler.substack.com (https://linneabutler.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_7) I invited my readers to send me their questions about healing trauma and have answered them here in video format. A list of the questions addressed is below. If, after watching this video, you have further comments or questions please drop them in the comments, or if it feels to private you can feel free to DM me. If you have additional questions you would like me to address in the next AMA session, please also leave them here or send them to me in a DM. Subscriber Questions: * How can we stay in a sensitive empath’s body, triggered by so much happening on the planet, and walk the path??? * Please address the trope of “the body never lies” can be so dangerous and add to chasms in relationships with others and the self. How does one unlearn? * My question is, in your experience with EMDR, assisted psychedelic therapies, embodiment, creativity, energy work and TRE, what emerges as most effective in rewiring the limbic brain? This is a curiosity question, since for me, each one has been an ingredient in what has become a nourishing soup. * One area I’d love to hear you unpack is the relationship between self-betrayal and self-sabotage. Those themes have been very alive for me lately, especially how they can become deeply embodied patterns rather than simply “bad decisions.” I’m also curious about how these dynamics can show up within organized systems, particularly religious communities. How do shame, subtle silencing, image management, and diffuse accountability shape a person’s nervous system over time? And how can someone begin to recognize and disentangle from those patterns without simply swinging into cynicism or rebellion. * I’d love to know more about psychedelic psychotherapy and eating disorders…