by John Mari A Marcelo
A year and a half ago, I wrote down the lessons and personal mantras that I’ve picked up over the years. Lessons I’ve learned as someone who is in recovery from MDD & GAD. Lessons I’ve learned from Stoicism. Lessons that I’ve taught myself because I had to survive this unavoidable thing we call “life.” These lessons, and the background behind them – the experiences behind them – are what these episodes will be about. This is John, this is Notes From The Shadows.
Language
🇺🇲
Publishing Since
4/28/2021
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June 13, 2021
<p>As of the time of writing this script, it is 1:48am on a Monday. I have a what seems like a forced insomnia. Of sorts. My medications have been indeed changed. From Escitalopram and Aripiprazole to Lithium.</p> <p>Ah, Lithium. We have been through so much, you and I.</p> <p><br></p> <p>Music by Nik Bustamante</p>
June 3, 2021
<p>It’s not like in the movies. There are no patients bouncing off of walls. No zombie-like lethargic movements caused by too much medications. No altercations involving poorly made shivs. But it did seem like a movie when I was being wheeled into the psychiatric ward of a hospital in Pasig City. Everything was surreal, in slow motion, the camera tilts from the sign above that may have said “Psychiatric Ward” to the drab blue gray double doors I was being wheeled into.</p> <p><br></p> <p>Music By Nik Bustamante</p>
May 29, 2021
<p>I used to look at the mirror and see a stranger. I even saw a monster, at times. And it scared me seeing something horrific and unfamiliar. A reflection not mine. A reflection that belonged to someone else, from someplace else.</p> <p>It was a reality that I had to live with for most of my life. I’d often see someone I don’t like when I catch a reflection of myself. I’d see someone full of self-loathing, full of hatred for the cards he’d been dealt with. I’d see a boy crying for help to the heavens he’d cursed at just mere moments before. It was sickening. It was pathetic. I was pathetic. That’s how much self-loathing I had.</p> <p><br></p> <p>Music By Nik Bustamante</p>
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A year and a half ago, I wrote down the lessons and personal mantras that I’ve picked up over the years. Lessons I’ve learned as someone who is in recovery from MDD & GAD. Lessons I’ve learned from Stoicism. Lessons that I’ve taught myself because I had to survive this unavoidable thing we call “life.”
These lessons, and the background behind them – the experiences behind them – are what these episodes will be about.
This is John, this is Notes From The Shadows.
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