What Are Days For

About What Are Days For

Days are where we live

Publisher

Fernando Pessoa

Category

society & culture

Language

en

Explicit

No

First episode

24 Dec 2025

Latest episode

20 Jul 2026

Latest episodes

95 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   20 Jul 2026

   Jade Star 9 (Monday July 20, 12:53)

   • Steve opens by clocking the time and turning on himself: "Ah you fucking romantic idiot Steve you stupid romantic idiot." The morning was meant to be for writing his law of three. The tag is instant self-forgiveness: "But it's okay, it's okay, Steve. Had some good insights about the law of three this morning, Steve." • The tea. Jade Star 9 from Mei Leaf, an eighteen year old 2008 Bai Mudan and Shou Mei. One and eight is nine. "It's meaningful to me. It's meaningful." He reads Céline's wrapper art: "I see my silly ship sailing into the glorious sort of I dunno psilocybin tinged waters of Eros." The bar is the stumble becoming the coinage: "a shimmering a shimmer a shimmerance a limerenance." Verdict: "Maybe it's caught in a kind of Bermuda triangle of love." • The Gurdjieff bit. Steve types him and picks a fight: "Was he just a seven pretending to be a five? I've read all the books. No, you haven't, Gurdjieff." The charge: "You're just a seven who wandered hither and thither, piecing together a system, and you're not a five, you didn't say where you got it from." The reversal: Gurdjieff collaborating with Thomas de Hartmann on the movements. "That is so eight four. It's beautiful." Frame: "the four five eight squaring it out with the four seven eight." • Poems as what fours do when suffering. "They're so fucking intense. Those fucking drama queens. Fuck them. But also, that's their kink. That's their existential kink." Closer: "The only way through is through." • The poem books: black cardboard, twelve sheets of shitty A4. "I've tried to make the poem process special. No, it can't be." • The shit poem bit, the centrepiece. A man shat himself onto a waterless porcelain ledge. Mid-bit disclaimer: "He doesn't smear himself, he doesn't wank, it's not coprophyl, he's not coprophile. Let's just get this clear." Then: "he takes a shitty fucking finger and he writes in his own shit on the page and he writes a poem." It swerves to Patrycja mid-sentence: "you who feel threatened by poems, by not being able to put them into a little fucking box. You don't like that raw, shitty, but beautiful expression just lying there with the flies." • News, told in third person: "You know what did the fucking stupid romantic SX4 do yesterday? After our amazing weekend together. He started making a playlist and he sent it to her." Called It's You. Unacknowledged. The retraction as punchline: "That playlist has now been changed to Love Prayers." The bitter riff: "you only want my content when you are in your little women's cave and you want to give half an hour of your attention to another human soul." • The wing it joke, marked as it lands: "I will literally fucking wing it, Paul. That's a good joke. I will wing it on my five." Decision: "I will write this poem, but I will not send this poem to her. I will send it to you. I trust you. And I don't trust her." • Straight admission: "I love Tmesis, but I don't need Tmesis. I need whatever I'm creating here. I so fucking need it today." • Overturns himself within a minute. Social instinct won't save them: "when she is triggered she has no access to social." Self-implicating tag: "And when I am hurt, I'm a little bit antisocial. Let's be fair." Replacement precept: God is the third. • The bus bit: the 458 all fighting for the wheel. "We don't want to be alone again for another five years. But maybe the bus has to go off the fucking cliff." • The numbers bit, which he flags himself: "Fucking amazing man, that needs to be a piece of content." Two egos don't say anything, they just emit trifixes, four five eight against four six nine. Her type worked out live: "a fucking fierce motherfucker angel 9, right? It's got two strong wings." • Two titles arrive mid-sentence: "What are we actually saying to each other?" and, from "I will die on it like fucking Christ," the poem The hill on which I will die. • The doctrine. The prayer goes to the person you want to forgive you.

2. 

   20 Jul 2026

   Snowflake Edgelord Redux (Monday July 20, 15:07)

   • Steve opens on the Tao as a dial: "The dial takes us up, the dial takes us down, the Tao lets us fly, and the Tao lets us fall. The Tao is gravity. The Tao is what is." • The thesis: he and Patrycja, just by being themselves, may not be able to be together. "Maybe there isn't the adequate third" — both have social as their weakest instinct. • He addresses this to Pol's Five: "I don't want to go into the forehead because the forehead is wounded. I don't want to go into the eight, because the eight is angry. The five just wants to know." • Frames it as the next chapter. "This is a show about the show. A show about the romantic doing his shtick." • First ever sound bath, extraordinary. "My sound bath virginity was taken." It was how the Ariekei sound — "I'm almost finished reading the book and I still can't say their names." • Platform synchronicity: an abandoned book, hope rising, then Atomic Habits, "a very tracky book by what's his face." Second punchline: "But it was in Tamil." • The Lady Cave: one room, fifty images of Jesus, pure Four with a Nine fix. On entry: "Oh, there's your boyfriend." • The gift — a gaiwan, two cups, half the Jade Star 9 from Mei Leaf, with two weeks apart coming. "I want to give you a piece of me to take away with you." He stages the reveal: "Your mind is going to say, what the fuck did Steve do?" • The gift horse bit, the set's peak riff. His own message that morning had been don't look a gift horse in the mouth. "Let me look in the mouth. Let me look in the ears. Let me look in the anus. Let me examine the inner crevices of this gift's legs. That gift was looked in every single part of its being, Pol." • The thunder face. "She reacted as if I'd literally taken a fucking dump on her bed." • Her three reasons, read as firefighters not managers. Six: love bombing, a real stalker history — and "trust me" is "the worst thing you can say to the paranoid skeptic." Four: "It feels like you're foisting your identity onto me," answered with "Well yeah, that's called sharing our passions, honey." Nine: "Why are you harshing my mellow, dude?" • The rugby gear image: "Oh, you brought your rugby gear into my sanctum." Then the turn — "And I felt completely at home because I am a woman." • "Too much" as archetypal complaint: what self-pres always says to sexual. • The crucifixion riff: "You picked this guy off the shelf. I returned him, I know I returned him, but now I'm back for more. Crucify me, lady, with your Jesus boyfriend." • Theological complaint: "She's in relationship with Jesus, but Jesus is not in relationship with her and me. There is no third there." • Two wounded snowflakes, and only one can afford it. "I have my own snowflake and he's really upset. But I'm gonna comfort him." • The pros: no space for Max, no space for him. "It is her nun's cloister." • Natalia forecast. "They say they're the subs, but actually they're the dogs." Then: "Sorry, that sounded bitter. It's late, I haven't eaten." • The Rilke: "Mine isn't the one that got away. Mine is she who is yet to come, who will never come, but she is yet to come." • Encore: "What are days for, Steve? Is Patrycja a necessary obstacle you want to voluntarily take on? And then, my friend, I do not know."

3. 

   20 Jul 2026

   Gushville, Tennessee (Sunday July 19, 14:38)

   . • Steve opens with a hymn, Georgia Mass Choir, and canonises it live: "it's one of the Triadion hymns. Of course it is." • Genre disclaimer: "This ain't gonna be a set, buddy. This is gonna be a gush." Escalates into a place, Gushville, Tennessee, and files his dispatch from there. • Darwin birthday bit: guesses twelve or thirteen, reframes the get-together as an unannounced bar mitzvah, then upgrades it into a video about his fraught but deep relationship with Judaism. • Explains yesterday's silence, self-correcting mid-sentence: "that's more of a five-ish thing, sorry, a four-ish thing." Keeping score of messages is the four's move. • Saturday: mopey but fine, garden planting, plans for the Law of Three video, and a lot of Cynthia Bourgeault on the Trinity. "That book is key." Still wants Feasts of Unity. • Rez digression. She's alive; he "killed" her in the SX4-to-8 way. The diagnosis is structural: Rez is "a nun," bound to the Diamond Approach and Almaas, and "if someone has an everything in their life, it's quite difficult to be part of that life." Every blue moon she'd raise her head, realise she'd seen no one for eons, and call. A great outing never generated the next one. • Rez is a self-pres 469. So, he's convinced, is Patrycja. • The universe bit, spine of the set. He shouts for a social-sexual 594, "you think you want Pol in female form," and gets 469s. "The last ten years of my fucking life, any meaningful connection I've made with a female person, it's been a four, six, fucking nine. What is it about those three fucking numbers in me, Pol?" • Her message: apologises for "the car crash that was our Tuesday Wednesday communication," says it mattered, asks for tea, signs with an x. His read: music to his ears, and "tread carefully here, Steve." • Deflation tag: maybe she went back on Hinge and found him okay comparatively. "She's only been on Hinge for two weeks. I've been on Hinge for ten years." • Nine-apology sketch. Nines mediate but don't apologise. Move: imagine Jesus apologising. "I brought all this fish, I brought all this bread. I should have brought more white wine, I only made red wine." Flagged from inside: "are we doing a bit here? Maybe." • Sexual-four speed: "shall we try to recreate those lovely vibes of Hampstead Heath," then the garden follow-up, then instant regret, "Oh fucking stop, Steve." • Gift horse bit: "Am I to look a gift SP 469 in the mouth, Pol? Well yes, of course I am, because I'm a fucking four five eight. I'm gonna look the horse in the mouth, up the anus." Underneath: "I want to really truly see you." • Evolutionary riff: women choose, men are chosen. "In the sexual marketplace, as Orion would have it, men are lucky if they get chosen by good women." • Bedlinen set piece. His linen is soft, four-grade, old, "not Love Island sexy bedlinen. It's not hotel bedlinen." Emergency Morrisons run, polyester mix, "shit stuff." Tag: taken off later for scratchiness. • Self-interrogation while tidying: "Who's driving the bus here? Is it your cock, Steve?" Counterweight: she's read the how-I'm-crazy book, seen the videos, and still wants to come. • Virginity bit, the emotional centre. Five years without sex. "My virginity was taken by Patrycja last night. Hooray." The gap lets you do it as if for the first time. On the sheets: "you've taken my virginity, or I've taken yours." • Sub-dom material, new to Pol. Vanilla, no BDSM, "more like a metaphysical dom. I'm an SX48 dom." • Queerness beat, unhedged: "I'm actually very queer. And that's the way I want to be." Turned toward Pol: their bond isn't man-and-man, "we can be yin and yang." Women's trousers, because they're softer. • The 469 answer: 469 is "very blendy," all three blend, his 458 doesn't. So the 469 draws out his healthy dom, conditionally. "No fucking way I'm gonna be a Tuesday dom." •