ADtempted

About ADtempted

We attempt to make ads for things that don't need them!

Publisher

ADtempted

Category

arts · business · tv & film

Language

en

Explicit

Yes

First episode

4 May 2020

Latest episode

11 Aug 2022

Latest episodes

16 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   11 Aug 2022

   ADvice 02 – Identities in Advertising with Jess McEwan

   Sam, John and Chris attempt to do what they’ve never done before: shut up. Special guest Jess McEwan shares her journey into the ad world, and why “inclusive agency culture” isn’t always what it seems. The post ADvice 02 – Identities in Advertising with Jess McEwan appeared first on ADtempted.

2. 

   14 Jul 2022

   ADtempt 013 – Umbrella Corporation (Resident Evil)

   Listen to find out how the Adtempted crew creates a recruitment campaign for one of the world’s most awful corporations. Will they turn into corporate zombies, or come up with a killer campaign that recruits the maddest of scientists to join the Umbrella corp team? Transcript Chris Hanna 0:00Welcome to Adtempted where we attempt to create ads things that don’t need them. I’m Chris, the resident copywriter. John Fish 0:05I’m John and I write things. Sam McKinney 0:07And I’m Sam and I fight zombies. Chris Hanna 0:16As always, our plan for today is to share some initial ideas, choose a direction we like and then build out a campaign that answers our brief. And speaking of, Sam, what are we working on today? Sam McKinney 0:25Alright guys, today we’re working for the Umbrella Corporation from the Resident Rvil universe. Umbrella is a global conglomerate responsible for developing drugs and viruses, which SPOILER ALERT may turn humans into zombies. But in order to do that, they need to enlist the best and brightest scientists to develop these products in their pharmaceutical labs. And that’s where we come in. John Fish 0:45We are tasking ourselves to create a recruitment campaign for Umbrella’s pharma division, our idea needs to highlight the cutting edge work that’s supposed to make the world a better place — without giving away what exactly they’ll be working on. Unknown Speaker 1:00Another breakthrough from the Umbrella Corporation, John Fish 1:03I nominate Chris to go first with his insights today. Chris Hanna 1:06Alrighty, I’m coming in with two today. And here is the first one. The greatest work in human history is done by Hidden Figures, people who sacrificed their lives to better society, all in secret. Umbrella recognizes these heroes, we see their unseen potential, and hire them to do the life changing work for us. And the second one, you know, to solve the toughest challenges facing our world, we need the brightest minds. And it’s nothing personal to you like middle mediocre talent. We just don’t want anything or anyone that’s not the absolute best. And we will do whatever it takes to find them. Sam McKinney 1:45Nice. They’re both very best and brightest. So it makes sense, even though they’re all evil. John Fish 1:51Evil geniuses! Alright, guys, so I got a few today that I’ll share with you. The first one is one giant step. Take a leap, a leap into the future of humankind. Discover the potential of humans by protecting them from themselves, prevent them from spreading illness from killing each other leap into the unknown potential under the Umbrella Corp. And then I have cure the world. With the world falling apart from pandemics, war, starvation, depressions and climate change, what the world really needs right now is a cure — a cure that will protect humankind from themselves and create a utopia free of disease. Cure the world with Umbrella. And then I got we like brains, which I don’t know if if if the zombies in Resident Evil like brains, but we’re talking about zombies. Okay, so I had to go with a brain one. Good brains, Bad Brains, small brains, moods, brains, and especially the wrinkly ones. We like them all. We use these brains to find the cures that will rid the world of disease, both mental and physical. So do you have a wrinkled brain? Then join Umbrella. Chris Hanna 2:58I like this one a lot. Sam McKinney 2:59Yeah. Chris Hanna 2:59That one resonated with me. Sam McKinney 3:01Fun. It’s a lot of fun. John Fish 3:03All righty. Sam McKinney 3:03So my first one: some of the greatest mysteries of our time are solved by simply finding the missing puzzle piece and obscure acid that can manage pain, mold that fights bacteria, and so much more. At the Umbrella Corporation, we work on some of the biggest mysteries plaguing humanity, an

3. 

   16 Jun 2022

   ADtempt 012 – Indominus Rex (Jurassic World)

   Millions of years of evolution have led to this: John, Chris and Sam are joined by special guest Patrick Que to concept a world peacekeeping campaign for the Indominous Rex. Transcript John Fish 0:00Welcome to add tempted where we attempt to create ads for things that don’t need them. I’m John and I write things. Chris Hanna 0:05I’m Chris and I’m just here for the archaeologists fashion. Sam McKinney 0:08And I’m Sam and I named my dog after our Raptor. Chris Hanna 0:16As always, our plan for today is to share some initial ideas, choose a direction we like, and then build out a campaign that answers our brief. Sam McKinney 0:24Today we’re joined by a special guest, the incomparable Patrick Q. Tell us a little bit about yourself. Q 0:30I’m Q, and I’m a freelance copywriter aka Scripto cephalops, but my spirit dyno is a lactose intolerance. John Fish 0:39Our product for this episode is the Indominus Rex, the Indominus Rex, which means untameable King is a genetically modified dinosaur taking the best traits of other various dinosaurs as well as non extinct creatures to create the ultimate apex predator. Not only is it super intelligent, strong, and agile, it has the ability to camouflage itself and mask its heat signature, rendering it practically untrackable Chris Hanna 1:09and our target audience for Today is World military leaders. Movie Sound EFX 1:13The base genome is a T Rex the rest is classified. You made a new dinosaur, but you don’t even know what it is. Chris Hanna 1:21With that cue. Why don’t you pick who’s gonna go first? Q 1:27Any meenie miney mo? No, I’m gonna I’m gonna go first. Chris Hanna 1:31Yeah, go for it. John Fish 1:32Okay, all right. Q 1:33So idea one. The future is midway. That’s not a but it doesn’t have a oh yeah, that’s a female, the future is definitely female. In Jurassic Park. All the dinosaurs were purposely engineered to be female, which of course includes Indominus Rex, she tore to the island making sure everyone there knew who she was that she had something to say and that she wasn’t going to back down. So this is a declaration to world leaders out there a call to action. Now a roar to actually Hell yeah, to stomp out the patriarchy and make way to a world evolved to say goodbye to the Dinos of the system and introduce a younger and fresher take on world rule 2024 We’re taking on the world and its authoritarian leaders with a fiercely strong presidential campaign led by women, beginning with the Indominus Rex mix in some support from Alexandria Ocasio Cortes, Stacey Abrams, Kamala Harris, maybe some international backing from Greta Thunberg, or prime minister Jacinda Ardern, from New Zealand, and you’ve got a future this world has been needing. Indominously aggressively progressive 2024 Sam McKinney 2:35That is hilarious Chris Hanna 2:39right out of the gate with super strong wind. Oh my gosh, that’s awesome. Yeah. Q 2:46idea two fixus climate changus. Fossil fuels consists mainly of dead plants, coal from trees and natural gas and oil from algae. And it’s the emissions from fossil fuels that are the dominant cause of global warming and climate change one of the top issues challenging the world’s leaders today. Okay, so fossil fuels aren’t made from dead dinosaurs, but who better to represent the dead and fallen than our very own Indominus Rex, acting as a sort of spokesperson, our IREX will help to share out and humorous yet intimidating global campaign educating and advocating for the world’s leaders and society in general to leave the dead bee and move on to something more life sustaining, or be dead too some lines be like bury climate change or else Or make climate change extinct before we are. Chris Hanna 3:25I like this one a lot. It feels like it’s leaning into a lot of the conservat

4. 

   12 May 2022

   ADtempt 011 – The Upside Down (Stranger Things)

   Join the Adtempted crew as they concept through the Upside Down, and ultimately find the upside. Transcript Sam McKinney 0:00Welcome to AdTempted where we attempt to create ads for things that don’t need them. I’m Sam and I like Dart. Chris Hanna 0:06I’m Chris and I can’t wait for Barb’s return. John Fish 0:09And I’m John and I write things. Chris Hanna 0:17As always, our plan for today is to share some initial ideas choose a direction we like them build out a campaign that hits our objective. Sam, take it away with our brief. Sam McKinney 0:27Today’s product is the Upside Down, from the show Stranger Things: an alternate dimension that’s an exact replica of our world except completely abandoned, save for a few evil creatures like the Demogorgon, Mind Flayer, and carnivorous plants, seeking to feed on humans that find themselves trapped there. Accessed through portals, you are transported to the exact same location the upside down dimension. John Fish 0:48Our goal today is to create a pro tourism campaign that would appeal to the demo of the show’s cast: middle aged parents and adventurous teenagers. ??? 0:56This is where Will is, the Upside Down. Like the veil of shadows. Chris Hanna 1:01Okay, so here is my first idea. The best souvenir is the one that you take home with you and the Upside Down offers a one of a kind way to make lasting memories, and that is by exacting cold, hard revenge. This shadow realm shares a unique connection to our own, empowering you to manipulate electronics and haunt ex lovers, Horrible Bosses and your high school bullies. This is the ultimate experiential holiday, where you rendezvous with revenge. Sam McKinney 1:31Nice. That’s fun. Chris Hanna 1:32Continuing with negative emotions. If you’ve got sticky feelings about where you were born and raised, you definitely are not alone. You know, seeing the people who made life tough brings up a lot of what I like to call negative nostalgia. But there’s a place where you can revisit the happy geological spots while avoiding those who made you feel less than, because none of them will be there. The dark ether of the Upside Down offers a whole new kind of tourism, where guests can visit familiar destinations without worrying about awkward runs. Take your nostalgia back by visiting your upside hometown. Sam McKinney 2:08Introvert’s vacations. Chris Hanna 2:10Ooh, I like that angle too. And third, certainly not least, I mean, we’ve all experienced this: tourist traps just suck. They overcharge you and your family to see the sights of a destination that you’ve already spent tons of money getting to. But what if you could tour Disneyland, see Mount Rushmore and even explore the Vatican without paying an extra dime? In the Upside Down there’s no scalping for entry fees to any place on Earth and there’s no red tape. Here, You can explore the world freely as it was meant to be. This is travel unrestricted. Sam McKinney 2:44Nice good job. Chris Hanna 2:44Thank you, do I get a gold star, Sam? Sam McKinney 2:46you get multiple gold stars. I would say three to be exact. Chris Hanna 2:51John, let’s see how many gold stars you can earn today. John Fish 2:53Let’s kick it off with vacation where no one wants to: vacations are nice, but you will inevitably run into annoying tourists, so why not go where no one wants to? Get away for real where no one can reach you because quite frankly, no one wants to go there. Take it from Barb who loved it so much she stayed. So go vacation where no one wants to. Chris Hanna 3:16I love this, I could totally see us doing something where we target really high like demand locations and really high tourist seasons. This is cool. John Fish 3:26All right. Yeah, I think it has a similar thread to the one you have Chris about tourist traps suck, the travel unrestr

5. 

   14 Apr 2022

   ADtempt 010 – Fantastic Beasts

   Fantastic Beasts are endangered creatures with a dire perception issue amongst Muggles. To save the invisible from the inevitable, Sam, Chris and special guest Aurélie Diaz join forces to create a conservation campaign to magically change minds, win hearts, and free the fantastical. Lenticular Poster Transcript Chris Hanna 0:00Hello and welcome back to accepted where we make ads for things that don’t really need them. Sam McKinney 0:05I’m Sam and I love magical creatures. Chris Hanna 0:07I’m Chris most likely to be voted a muggle. Sam McKinney 0:09John, you couldn’t make it today. But don’t worry, we have a special guest filling in. Chris Hanna 0:17Our special guest is an award winning art director whom I’ve had the utmost pleasure of working with both in school and in the agency world or Lydia’s. Welcome to attented aurelei 0:26Hi, guys. Thanks for inviting me. Very excited to be here. Listen to all of the ideas, but mostly catching up with you guys. Sam McKinney 0:33Thanks for coming on. Can you tell our listeners a little about yourself? aurelei 0:36Yes. I’m an art director at independent agency guts in Miami. We’re working on ton of clients such as Activision Blizzard, Popeye Chicken, Philadelphia cream cheese, Michelobe Ultra. Yeah, most of my colleagues are like, very, very ad-nerd. But I’m just a nerd. So very happy to be here for this brief today. Chris Hanna 0:59Well, we’re so glad that you’re finally on with us. And with that, let’s dive in. Sam McKinney 1:03So our game plan today is to share ideas, choose one we like and then execute a campaign. As always, we’ll share our final executions on our Instagram and website. So please be sure to check those out. What is the product we’re tackling today? All right, aurelei 1:15so today we are working on fantastic beast from the wizarding world film series. So for those of you who do not know that there are rare creatures with magical abilities, like invisibility, infinite storage, pouch, and even lock picking. Unfortunately, many of these incredible animals are viewed as monsters because their powers don’t meld well with human society. As a result, they’re often attacked onsite, locked in crow constrained and sometimes hunted to extinction. Chris Hanna 1:49So for our goal today, just as the film’s main character new works to protect these creatures, our objective is to ideate a conservation campaign. Our approach needs to improve the negative muggle perception so that they’re not seen as monsters, but rather as the fantastic Beasts that they truly are. Movie Sound EFX 2:05You rescue these creatures, rescue, nurture and protect the jet he tried to educate my fellow wizards about them. Chris Hanna 2:13Sam, why dont you kick us off. Sam McKinney 2:14There is a sense of awestruck wonder that hits when a magical Thunderbird soars through the sky above you bringing rain, or when a bow truckle reveals itself amongst the branches of a tree, these amazing moments bring a new layer into the already magical world of nature. And if we don’t protect it, we could lose it all. So help save these fantastical creatures and don’t take the magic out of the magical. Chris Hanna 2:34I love the sentiment so much. I was thinking a lot around how like animals are one of the purest expressions of like Mother Nature’s magic, and I love how you’ve expressed it here. Aurelei 2:45Yes, very poetic. Lots of beautiful visuals that could live here. Sam McKinney 2:50Alright, and the next one, Ravello fantastical because it’s magical spells. Fantastic Beasts have long lived their lives in the shadow hiding from the eyes of ordinary people, so much so that their memories have become nothing more than fairy tales to us. Unfortunately, there isn’t a fairy tale conservation. So a few that do no of

6. 

   17 Mar 2022

   ADtempt 009 – DataDogs (Cowboy Bebop)

   Sam, Chris and John play fetch with a good boy who does bad things with this week’s product Data Dog from Cowboy Bebop. The Adtempted crew will find a way to get these dogos new homes where their cyber skills can be utilized by their new furever hoomans. The post ADtempt 009 – DataDogs (Cowboy Bebop) appeared first on ADtempted.

7. 

   16 Feb 2022

   ADtempt 008 – Blue’s Clues

   Sam, Chris, and John tackle a product that is near and dear to their childhood hearts: Blue’s Clues. Steve and Blue are getting back together to start Blue’s Clues Detective Agency and the Adtempted crew must rebrand the famous duo for a more adult true crime audience with some Bow-ba-bow justice. The post ADtempt 008 – Blue’s Clues appeared first on ADtempted.

8. 

   19 Jan 2022

   ADtempt 007 – Squid Game

   In the Season 2 premiere, Sam, Chris and John bring the sensationally deadly Squid Games to the US. The rules: three creatives go in. One campaign comes out. Let the games begin. The post ADtempt 007 – Squid Game appeared first on ADtempted.

9. 

   25 Dec 2021

   ADFail – Anchor Arms

   Not every Adtempt is a masterpiece, and as our holiday gift to you were sharing our first AdFail: Anchor Arms. They couldn’t help us overcome audio issues, but can they help the wimps of the world find a little confidence? The post ADFail – Anchor Arms appeared first on ADtempted.

10. 

    31 Oct 2020

    ADtempt 006 – Ghostbusters

    When there’s something strange keeping you from sleeping in your bed peacefully, you don’t wanna call someone — you want to deal with these paranormal pests quickly and easily, so you can get back to resting in peace. The post ADtempt 006 – Ghostbusters appeared first on ADtempted.

11. 

    1 Sept 2020

    ADtempt 005 – Xenomorphs (Alien)

    The Adtempted crew, and special guest Duane, find a positive use for the Xenomorph from the movie “Alien” and create an out of this world campaign to bring it to market. Will it be used as a mask, the most dangerous game, or perhaps an out of this world home security system? The post ADtempt 005 – Xenomorphs (Alien) appeared first on ADtempted.

12. 

    1 Aug 2020

    ADtempt 004 – Time Turner

    Enter the wizarding world of Harry Potter with John, Chris, Sam and special guest Andi Hendrickson as they create a brand new dating service, and decide if owls should wear bowties (spoiler: they absolutely should). Transcript Chris Hanna 0:00Alright guys, it’s time to introduce today’s special guest! Future Chris 0:06Hello podcasters of the past I’m honored to be back in this the year 2020. Chris Hanna 0:11Welcome to the show, Future Chris! did you have any trouble finding the place and or time? Sam McKinney 0:16Chris, you can’t be your own special guest. You’re breaking every rule of space time. John Fish 0:20Yeah man, and like several rules of podcasting. Chris Hanna 0:23Sorry, I just got inspired by today’s time traveling product from the world’s favorite wizarding franchise. John Fish 0:29All right, Lord of the Rings! No, Harry Potter. Now say goodbye to Future Chris before existence as we know it ends. Chris Hanna 0:37Fine. See you soon, you handsome devil you! Welcome back to ADtempted, where we make ads for things that don’t really need them. I’m Chris and I’m a copy wiz. I’m Sam and I think art is magical. John Fish 0:52I’m John and i write things. Chris Hanna 0:55Today’s actual special guest is a big friend of the podcast whose kick ass copywriting skills are surpassed only by her passion for all things Harry Potter, and maybe also the Ohio State Buckeyes. Andi Hendrickson, welcome to ADtempted! Andi Hendrickson 1:11Hi guys. Happy to be here. Chris Hanna 1:13Yay! John Fish 1:14As always, here’s the game plan. We’re going to start by sharing our insights and thoughts starters. And then we’ll collaborate on a direction execute a campaign and finally presented to you our audience. What’s the product today, Andi? Andi Hendrickson 1:26Today we’re going to be tackling Time Turner’s from Harry Potter. For all you muggles out there, the Time Turner is a magical device that allows the user to travel back in time. The more you twist, the farther back you go. There are limits however, so that the fabric of time will stay intact and that you-know-who can never return. Featured prominently in the Prisoner of Azkaban, the device has great potential for good, or evil, or for a much longer nap. And today, we’re going to be targeting the general population, but we’re also challenging ourselves to come up with some non traditional uses for the Time Turner. Sam McKinney 2:01Just so you guys know, time travel is a complicated subject filled with paradoxical nuances that we don’t have time to explore. So here are some basic ground rules that we are following. The rest, we aren’t worried about. One, they can only travel back in time a maximum of five hours. Two, it will not allow you to change past events, and three, you cannot interact directly with yourself. Chris Hanna 2:21Wait, it only goes back five hours. I thought it let you go to any time for five hours. Ah, shoot, me too. Guess my insights might get cut for time. Dang. Snape 2:35Mysterious thing, time. Powerful, and when meddled with, dangerous. Chris Hanna 2:43Alrighty Sam, why don’t you kick us off. Sam McKinney 2:45Alright, my first insight: having trouble finding a nice babysitter you can trust? With a Time Turner, You can just be your own babysitter. Go out, have your fun, but also spend time with your children. It’s the best of both worlds. Next one is: accidentally break your grandmother’s priceless heirloom? Robbed a magical bank run by goblins? Murdered a sniveling classmate? Give yourself an alibi with a Time Turner. You couldn’t have been the one who did it if you were over at Billy’s the whole time. Chris Hanna 3:12I like the idea of like, “Oh no, I just robbed a magical bank run by goblins, whatever will I do?”

13. 

    15 Jul 2020

    ADvice 001 – The ADtempters

    Jumping into any career is daunting. Jumping into a creative advertising career is down right crazy! Sam, John and Chris, while early in their advertising careers, are using this episode lend some advice that they wish they had from the beginning. Important advice like what is the difference between an Art Director and a designer. Or, just exactly what a copywriter even does. Join them on this 30 minute journey while they talk about awesome topics like: What exactly a creative job in advertising isHow to get started The types of people in an agencyAnd most importantly their own opinions of what makes you a good creative Transcript ADtempt-003.5-Advice001 Chris Hanna 00:00 Huh, this feels different. John Fish 00:02 What does man? Chris Hanna 00:03 This episode. We don’t have a brief, we haven’t stolen any jokes, and we aren’t selling anything. Sam McKinney 00:07 Well, this episode is going to be a little bit different. We’re pulling back the curtain to give our audience some insight into who we are and what we do. Chris Hanna 00:14 So we are selling ourselves. Sam McKinney 00:17 Well, maybe not Chris Hanna 00:19 Yet. Welcome back to ADtempted, the show where we attempt to give advice to people who probably don’t need it. I’m john. I’m a copywriter. Sam McKinney 00:32 I’m Sam, and I’m an art director. John Fish 00:34 I’m Chris and I’m a copywriter. Today’s episode is going to be a first for our little show. Instead of selling a product. We wanted to share some of our experiences: who we are, what we do and why we do it. Sam McKinney 00:45 sounds good to me. Where do you guys want to start? John Fish 00:48 One place that we should maybe start is our titles, because for some people, they probably have no idea what that is. Chris Hanna 00:56 So we all know there’s an art director and a copywriter, but not everyone knows the Difference. Can you guys explain that to me? John Fish 01:03 I’ll explain it to our audience and to you, John, at the same time. Okay, so I guess I can start with copywriters since that’s what I am. So copywriter is basically responsible for everything that is copy based. The way I like to think of it is that whatever text you see on any sort of ad, or any sort of scripts that you might hear in a radio or a TV commercial, that’s the copywriters job. But just like an art director, copywriters are also responsible for the conceptual side of things. So the whole idea is sort of in the hands of the copywriter, as well as the art director. And every partnership is different. Usually there’s one copywriter and one art director. Sometimes the copywriter will take more of the conceptual side of things because the art director has to do, er I guess spend more time, on the art side. Maybe Sam can speak a little bit more to that. But other times it’s equal partnership. Sometimes there’s an art actor who literally just does everything and the copywriter just sits back, and I don’t know, what do other copywriters who don’t do anything all day do? Sam McKinney 02:07 Write scripts for themselves. Chris Hanna 02:11 Yeah, so Sam, why don’t you talk a little bit about art direction? Sam McKinney 02:15 The way that I think about it is copywriters, and art directors essentially are the same job in a way. Because first and foremost, you you’re concepting, right and come up with ideas. You are there to talk back and forth, bounce ideas off each other and come up with something that’s going to get people’s interest. John Fish 02:32 Yeah, Sam McKinney 02:32 But then it breaks down to your secondary skills. The secondary skills f

14. 

    1 Jul 2020

    ADtempt 003 – Slurm

    Blast off to the year 3000 to hear Chris, Sam and John share the horrifying truth about Slurm, and then turn it into a one-of-a-kind soda ad that’s pure crap. Transcript ADtempt-003-Slurm • 47:53 Chris Hanna 00:00 Good news, everyone! Sam McKinney 00:02 Did they bring Nixon’s head back to life? Chris Hanna 00:03 Nope. Well, maybe but that’s not what the good news is. John Fish 00:07 Did you finally get accepted into Mars university? Chris Hanna 00:11 I checked, my application status still says “in orbit.” Sam McKinney 00:14 Oh, I know. You said dating a robot. Chris Hanna 00:17 I was, until Fernando-tron got…amnesia. Sam McKinney 00:24 Must have been your magnetic personality. Chris Hanna 00:29 Anyway, the good news is that today’s product is from one of my favorite TV shows, set and the not so far off year of 3000. John Fish 00:36 Shut up and take my money. Chris Hanna 00:38 All in good time, john. Sam McKinney 00:45 Welcome back to ADtempted where we make ads for things that don’t really need them. I’m Sam, and I’m addicted to art. John Fish 00:51 i’m john and i write things. Chris Hanna 00:53 I’m Chris and I’m 40% copy. Sam McKinney 00:55 This is a very special episode because we are recording on John’s birthday. Happy birthday. Man John Fish 01:02 Ah, thanks, guys. Chris Hanna 01:03 How does it feel john? One year older, one year wiser? John Fish 01:08 Feels pretty good. We’ll see what happens. I’m hoping next year is better than this year. Anyway, as always, here’s the plan. We’re going to go around and share some thought starters. Then we’ll collaborate and execute a campaign and finally present it to you, our audience. What’s our product today, Chris? Chris Hanna 01:28 Our product today is Slurm, the ooze-y soda from the TV show Futurama. Slurm is a delicious soft drink with a mysterious secret ingredient. It is highly addictive and the more you drink it, the more you crave to quench your never ending thirst. Slurm is the economic lifeblood of the planet Wormulon, and if the secret of the soft drink gets out, it could destroy their business and wreck economic ruin. Spoiler alert: the secret ingredient is an excrement from the Queen of Wormulon’s butt. Our target audience today is parents with kids aged 7 to 13 because we wanted to challenge ourselves to see what we could do with the soda market, which is an increasingly tough thing to break into. Party Babe #1 02:15 Look, it’s Slurms Mackenzie! Party Babe #2 02:15 He’s the original party worm! Slurms Mackenzie 02:22 Whimmy-wham-wham-wazzle! Let’s party! Chris Hanna 02:25 let’s let the birthday boy go first with his thought starters. John Fish 02:30 Oh, well, thank you, Chris. All right. Well, I have came up with I’ve I have come up with two insights. I can’t fucking talk. Because I’m so flustered with the internet. Leave it in. don’t edit that out. Ashley. Okay, anyway: The natural choice. High Fructose Corn – high fructose corn syrup has cornered the soda market, leaving you, the parent, with terrible options to quench your kids’ thirst. The worms here on Wormulon believe your kids deserve better. They don’t need all that crap in their drink. So using our secret formula, we made Slurm and all natural soda that comes from a sustainable source. Not only are your kids getting a high quality soft drink, but it also is universally sustainable. The best of both worlds making slurm the natural choice. Obviously a bit of wordplay there, natural, I think, Okay, I think

15. 

    8 Jun 2020

    ADtempt 002 – GLaDOS

    Hold your companion cube close as Sam, Chris and John test their [insert skill here] with the Portal video game AI supervillain – for science! Transcript ADTEMPTED – adtempt 002 – GLaDOS • 43:38 John Fish 00:00 Hey, Chris, have you have you heard from Sam yet? We need to get started. We need to go. Robot Sam 00:05 I am here. Chris Hanna 00:06 Oh shit Sam turned himself into a robot! John Fish 00:09 Hasn’t Sam always been a robot or have I just not noticed? Robot Sam 00:13 I have concluded that the most efficient way to advertise insert product here was to remove human error. Chris Hanna 00:21 Well, let’s hope that robot Sam is programmed with more empathy than today’s product. Otherwise we might be the next errors he removes. John Fish 00:29 Hey, robot Sam, can you make your voice sound a little bit more like human Sam? Sam McKinney 00:35 How does this sound? John Fish 00:38 Okay, close enough. Welcome back to AD tempted where we make ads for things that don’t really need them. I’m john and i write things. Sam McKinney 00:47 I’m Sam and I experiment with art. Chris Hanna 00:50 I’m Chris and I write copy in exchange for cake. John Fish 00:52 We may not have a special guest today, but we do have a very special product that we cannot wait to dive into. So Here’s the plan. We’re going to go around and share some thought starters. And then we’ll collaborate on a campaign, execute it and finally present it to you, our audience. What’s the product today, Sam? Sam McKinney 01:12 Today we’re doing GLaDOS or genetic live form and disk operating system from the portal video game series. She is the talking AI supercomputer who runs a massive scientific research facility in the game. She is as intelligent as she is snarky and programmed to create and run manipulative problem solving experiments on humans and robots. Once plugged in she can mass produce things like killer robots and neurotoxin, but her most deadly trait is her insults. Think of her as a more witty, passive aggressive version of Hal in 2001 Space Odyssey. The target today is Gen pop, mainly because why wouldn’t we market this to an average human? Why wouldn’t we? It’d be fun. GLaDOS 01:54 before we start However, keep in mind that although fun and learning are the primary goals of all Enrichment Center activities, serious injuries may occur. Chris Hanna 02:05 Alrighty, john, what do you got for us? John Fish 02:07 All right. So, ai with a human touch, let’s face it, AI is going to kill us all. So we’re going to create something that will kill us. Why not make it a little bit more human? With all the wit and narcissism of your typical American, obviously a little more narcissistic than not, with GLaDOS, it will surely wipe us out. But it will be nice to have the human touch. And basically, with this idea, just kind of like Siri and Alexa are so robotic, and they’re so polite. You can call them whatever you want, and they’ll respond with. “That’s not very nice.” Whereas this OS will respond with, “Yeah, okay, that’s not very nice,” but it’s also going to be probably plotting to kill you. So I think it’s just an interesting way to look at AI and Potentially get us to a more interesting space in the AI realm. Sam McKinney 03:06 It would be a fun way to get killed by a robot. It’d be very enjoyable. I’d laughed the whole way. Chris Hanna 03:12 1001 ways to die via GLaDOS. Sam McKinney 03:16 Yeah, it’d be hilarious. Chris Hanna 03:19 Up until the very last moment. John Fish 03:23 We’re kind of in a race right no

16. 

    4 May 2020

    ADtempt 01 – The Death Star

    In their pilot episode, Chris, John, Sam and special guest Rob come up with a Death Star ad campaign targeting the most misunderstood demographic of them all: dictators. Transcript ADTEMPTED – ADTEMPT#001 44:58 Chris 00:00 Rob, what do you want more than anything else? Rob 00:03 I want my children to respect me for once. Chris 00:06 Then I think you’re gonna like today’s product so it can travel at lightspeed. It’s got enough room for your family, and it’ll demand respect from your enemies and your children. How does that sound? Rob 00:17 Sounds a little too good to be true. Chris 00:20 Oh, it absolutely is. And we are going to make some ads for it. Rob 00:24 I’ve got a GOOD feeling about this. Sam 00:29 Welcome to Adtempted where we make ads for things that don’t actually need them. I’m Sam, I make art. Chris 00:34 I’m Chris. I make words. John 00:36 I’m John and I write things. Sam 00:38 And our special guest today is Rob. Rob 00:40 Hi, Rob Chester Smith. I’m an actor and writer here in LA currently sheltering in place and loving it. Chris 00:47 Well, we are glad to have you on Rob. So let me break this down. We are going to start by sharing some insights, then we’re going to pick a direction and ultimately we’re going to come up with a single execution that we will present to you our audience. John 01:00 Alright, let’s jump into it. Here’s the brief. Today’s product is the Death Star, the iconic planet destroying Doomsday weapon from Star Wars, it’s large and in charge, destructive. And if you don’t know any better, you think it was just a nearby moon, almost completely indestructible. It can move at lightspeed from planet to planet and has all the resources to conquer an entire galaxy. The target for this demo will be people in power dictators, emperors, presidents, despots, you name it, we’ve got it. Luke Skywalker 01:34 Heading for that small moon. That’s no moon. Obi Wan 01:38 It’s a space station. Han Solo 01:39 It’s too big to be a space station. Sam 01:43 Full disclaimer, we’re doing this for fun. We don’t actually like dictators, or evil people, but let’s get into it. First up. Special guests Rob Rob 01:52 Okay, here’s the problem I found when I really dug deep did a deep dive on the Death Star is for a lot of deathsots War sucks. it drags… they drag on forever. There’s expensive. They’re politically unpopular. The populace doesn’t like them. You know, it’s they go on and on and on. They cost there’s arguments in Congress all this stuff. Well, guess what? Now we have a Death Star. Now instead of fighting with their enemy for years at a time, boom, it’s done. Nope. war over no fuss, no muss. There’s no more enemies to cry “Oh, war crimes!” there’s no enemy at all. They’re gone. That’s what makes the Deathstar so great and so popular to a despot. Another insight is, in this age of inclusivity we’ve overlooked something so many horrible weapons of mass destruction are phallic in nature. Think of every cannon every laser cannon every missile it’s just a bunch of penises. For boys, let’s be honest, to wave around and have penis measuring contest with their foes. Well guess what? The Deathstar is spherical. So instead of a phallic symbol, it’s an ovum. It’s ovic? ovum, uh.. symbol? it’s an egg — finally a weapon for the lady despot. We’re no longer – we’re no longer excluding half of the people in the universe. We’ve got sort of the inc

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