If you like existing, then you'll love Alphabetizing Your Life. Join hosts Scott Bednar and Joshua Hillman, two friends with infinite knowledge and minimal wisdom, as they explore, discuss and discover little-known facts about topics starting with each episode's letter-of-the-day – while downing a bottle of wine… each.
This semi-thought-provoking, semi-informative, wholly-inappropriate series will have you learning all things you never knew you needed to know — from A to Z.
N: Nipples, Nuclear Threats, New Year's Resolutions…
Harry Styles has four nipples (a.k.a. nollywobbles), you’ve been saying Nevada wrong your entire life and your mattress could be key to surviving doomsday.
Joshua and Scott also navigate nuclear threats, New Year’s resolutions, navels, noses, nutmeg, narwhals and naming sound effects.
Non-consenting taste bud violation is a real thing, destroying a historical masterpiece could score you lucrative merchandising rights, and 41% of Americans — Joshua included — believe humans and dinosaurs “definitely or probably” coexisted on Earth.
Scott and Joshua also mull over the Mars Science Laboratory, monkey Jesus, myths & misconceptions, marriage, Michelin, Munchausen syndrome, meow, miracle berries and Minnesota.
28 Apr 2020
L: Last Meals, Lower Case Letters, Lysol…
Your grandmother used to pump poison into her lady bits, left-handed people are oft vilified (and we’re no exception) and you should probably be washing your legs more than you think… maybe.
The loquacious duo also lament over lower-case letters, lullabies, Lysol, laugh tracks and last meals.
9 Nov 2019
K: Killer Bees, KFC, Kitty Litter…
Koalas will throw your ass out of a tree if you reject their advances, China’s taking all of our chicken and killer bees really dislike evening wear and nice jewelry.
Scott and Joshua also kvetch about kitty litter, KFC, kosher, knock on wood, kiwis and words that start with “kn.”
19 Jul 2019
J: Jaywalking, Jalapeños, Judge Judy...
Replace your morning OJ with a handful of jalapeños, get your affairs in order because there’s a high probability you’ll shit the bed on January 1st and all hail Judge Judy, mistress of justice and money.
Scott and Joshua also jabber on about Jäegermeister, jobs, jokes, jaywalking and other pleasant words that start with the letter J.
19 Mar 2019
I: International Space Station, Ice Pick Lobotomy, Immaculate Conception...
Our early astronauts dealt with a lot of crap — literally, a majority of Iceland doesn’t not believe in mystical elves living in their rocks and boulders and if you were crazy in 1950 someone might shove an ice pick into your eye socket.
Joshua and Scott also investigate Immaculate Conception, the index finger, Instagram and the toughest race on Earth, the Iditarod.
6 Feb 2019
H: Honeybees, Hamsters, Helium…
Your hamster in inbred, it literally rains fish in Honduras and honeybees are into puke-play.
Scott and Joshua also harp over the Haskell Free Library & Opera House, holidays, Heinz, Hallmark, helium and hummingbirds.
13 Oct 2018
G: Galileo, Gummy Bears, GPS...
Galileo’s fingers were stolen from his 100-year-old corpse, giraffes aren’t gay, they’re just curious, and hating gingers is a millenniums-old tradition.
Joshua and Scott also gab about Gummy Bears, Captain Hanson Gregory, glaze, guinea pigs, Google, GPS and grapes.
23 Sept 2018
F: Flat Earth, Flatulence, Flamingos...
Flatulence and acoustics go hand-in-hand, there was a society who'd throw their dead loved ones into trees and the FDA may be trying to kill us all.
Scott and Joshua also fuss over flat-earthers, fortune cookies, finger prints, French compound words, food additives, Fireball, fridges, the five-second rule, funeral proceedings, face blindness and Friday the 13th.
9 Sept 2018
E: Exoplanets, Eyelash Parasites, Enemas…
Most Europeans were once cannibals, licking your elbow doesn’t make you special and your eyelashes are being assaulted by millions of mites.
Scott and Joshua also explore exoplanets, Ebola, eating dead people, eagles, earworms, Elephant Man, enemas, eunuchs, edibles and eBay.
26 Aug 2018
D: Dead Baby Project, Denmark, Diabetes…
The U.S. government performed radiation testing on stolen dead baby parts, Dolphins will sexually assault you and your chances of dying in a vending machine-related accident may be higher than you think.
Scott and Joshua also dissect Dracula, dead baby project, Dasani, dolphins, dentures, deodorant, death, decaf, didgeridoo, Dollar Tree, dodo birds, Denmark, diets, diabetes, diarrhea and Dr. Scholl’s.
There’s a table for pregnant women that will spin until your baby pops out, Captain Crunch tried to jump rank and Cleopatra had a face worth forgetting.
Scott and Joshua also probe Christopher Columbus, chamber pots, cash registers, centrifugal birth, chickens, chapstick, crows, The Chubby Bunny Challenge, cotton candy, cranberries, centaurs, corn, clocks and cream soda.
12 Aug 2018
B: Book Curses, Boob Sweat, Bidets...
Big Bird almost dies in outer space (literally), Betty Crocker's a crock of sh*t and your belly button is just your former mouth.
Scott and Joshua also dive into bidets, bridesmaids, Baby Ruth, blue whales, bless you, butter shots, book curses, boob sweat, breath, bees, bite-sized foods and birth.
12 Aug 2018
A: Aquafaba, Antarctica, Aliens...
Turns out there's a post office in Antarctica, acorns will kill you and Benjamin Franklin tried to shove six more letters into the alphabet.
Scott and Joshua also discuss little-known facts about aquafaba, aardvarks, Australia, apples, America, alligators, animal print, astrophysics, almonds, allowance, aargh, airplanes, aliens and arks (the Noah variety).
Reach and audience
Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.
Apple Podcasts (US)
5.0 / 5
44 ratings
Contact Alphabetizing Your Life
Guest appearances
Does not typically book guests
Based on episode analysis; this does not confirm that the show is currently accepting guests.
Host of Alphabetizing Your Life?
Claim your podcast to manage its listing and keep your show details accurate.
Pod Engine is an independent podcast discovery and analytics service and is not affiliated with or endorsed by this podcast. Artwork and show content belong to their owners. Full legal notice.
Explore this show Podcast research with Pod Engine
