Arsenal Match Reviews In 30 Minutes or Less. Arsenal Football Club have the youngest team in the Premier League. Join us as we uncover the key takeaways and big moments in the hunt for top 4. It's American Arsenology, a podcast drenched in absinthe, wrapped in guitars, and layered with comedic interludes. "When the Going Gets Weird, The Weird Turn Pro"
Brought to you by Clarence Thomas' best friend. Nervous energy at the Emirates, and the psychological impact from the loss against Crystal Palace cuts deeper than we may have first realized. Concerns exist around Arteta going full-on Trumpian again in his handling of interpersonal relationships, as The Curse of Djed Spence is well and truly upon us. Questions are asked about Albert Sambi Lokonga's future at the club. And, for those expecting a return of Nuno Tavares this season, don't hold your breath. Win, lose, or draw, we support the Arsenal, but even a scarecrow with no brain would have recognized the likely outcome of Arteta's gamble on Lacazette.
24 Feb 2022
AA Arsenal vs. Brentford
Arsenal's kick-about with Brentford brought to you by WWIII. 43 crosses and the tea leaves reading DCL. John Moss waves the equivalent of the Blue Lives Matter flag for Premier League referees. Gabriel Magalhaes our Big Poppa. Xhaka is snubbed on the captaincy, and the Croydon Bobby Firmino sounds enticing.
24 Jan 2022
AA Arsenal vs. Burnley
Brought to you by: Paramount Pictures Presents Short-Shorts and The Douche. Starring John Stockton and Aaron Rodgers. 34 crosses on the day and missing Big Bill Saliba. No justice for Gabriel Magalhães as refrains from simulation. Aaron Ramsdale looks to rediscover his form in the dunes of Dubai. Laca's lack of quality to put the game to bed. And finally, an ask of Arsenal World's bipolar fanbase to take their lithium, put on a retro adidas jacket, a pair of blue blockers, and grab a pint of their finest local brew while seeking perspective.
20 Jan 2022
AA Arsenal vs. Liverpool (EFL Cup)
Brought to you by: The African Cup of Nations. The only competition where the refs are worse than in England. Martin Ødegaard orchestrating like a footballing maestro. Gabriel Martinelli struggles against TAA. Lacazette runs out of gas, again. A call to give Martinelli minutes up top as a central striker. Early elimination from the domestic cups is a pockmark on the campaign, and reflection on the importance of guaranteeing Europa League football for our youngsters next season.
13 Jan 2022
AA Liverpool vs. Arsenal (EFL Cup)
Brought to you by Mugsmashers False-Positive Testing: A test for every league cup game. If Granit Xhaka had one leg and an eye-patch Mikel Arteta would still start him. Flashpoints galvanize both teams in their recent encounters, but Arteta comes under scrutiny for his handling of the AFCON window. Bukayo Saka proves why there are clickbait stories linking him to Liverpool. Arsenal's young guns pass a big time gut check in the belly of the beast.
9 Jan 2022
AA Nottingham Forest vs. Arsenal (FA Cup)
Brought to you by Fielding a side with an average age of 23, Arsenal miss Granit Xhaka, as Jack Colback needs slapping. Arteta puts the spotlight of shame on Nuno Tavares after Djed Spence does the business to both him and Gabriel Martinelli. Eddie Nketiah is disconnected and fails to impress. Sambi impresses at Anfield connecting 93% of his passes on the day. The young guns are eliminated in a match where senior leadership is severely lacking.
11 Dec 2021
AA Arsenal vs. Southampton
Brought to you by Microsoft Powerpoint, helping you organize and animate your coup one slide at a time. Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang has more disciplinary issues and fails to uphold the values of the captaincy. Sambi Lokonga and Granit Xhaka still haven't played together since August. Rob Holding unveils his new rug and it is glorious, as Aaron Ramsdale's usual water-tight backline looks less secure as of late. The ESR/Martinelli conundrum begins in full as Mikel Arteta evaluates his best no. 11.
6 Dec 2021
AA Everton vs. Arsenal
Brought to you by Omicron, you ain't seen nothing yet. After his brilliant and best performance in an Arsenal shirt against Newcastle, Sambi Lokonga is dropped for both the Manchester United and Everton matches. Nuno Tavares is playing well but Keira Tierney is the superior player as Arsenal really struggle in the opening 45'. Nico Pepe is still an outcast, having played only 5 minutes in the last 7 Premier League games. Alexander Lacazette frustrates and there's a call for Eddie Nketiah on line 1. The U-shaped attack is back as Arsenal play some of the worst football of the campaign.
30 Oct 2021
AA Leicester vs. Arsenal
Brought to you by the G-20, burn, baby, burn. Aaron Ramsdale is making quite the impression. Lacazette comes back down to earth after some very good performances. Youri Tielemans proves once again that he would be an excellent signing for Arsenal. The Gunners go 9 games unbeaten in the Premier League despite some concerning statistics in the 2nd half, but those stats are thrown out the window upon reflection as a sense of optimism engulfs the project as we head into an international break. Arsenal are on the rise.
27 Sept 2021
AA Arsenal vs. Tottenham
Brought to you by R-Kelly: I P*$$ on you. North London is Red!nGranit Xhaka walks right back into the team after his moment of madness against City. Arsenal finally score more than 1 goal in a match. The Saka "slump is solved by getting him back on his preferred location coming in from the right. Benjamin Blanco puts in his best performance to date as an Arsenal player. Martin Odegaard's class bubbles to the surface, but it is the structure and stability provided by Aaron Ramsdale and his back 5 that propel the Gunners to victory. The summer signings put in place by Edu Gaspar and Mikel Arteta look to be coming good as the value of that summer transfer window keeps rising.
11 Sept 2021
AA Norwich vs. Arsenal
Brought to you by Ivermectin: sterilizing douchebags since 2021. Ho-hum football from Arsenal but a sense of calmness in the air as Aaron Ramsdale gets his first start. Discussion on Arteta's management of Ainsley Maitland-Niles, and doubts persist if he can make the grade as a midfielder (spoiler, he can't). Giving credit to Arteta and Edu for unearthing Albert Sambi Lokonga. Questions on how Nico Pepe will fit into the side when ESR is fit, and banging of the drum for Takehiro Tomiyasu getting a run at center-back.
13 Aug 2021
AA Brentford vs. Arsenal
Brought to you by the Delta variant: Just wait until you meet my sister Omega. Shocking defending from the gunners as Mikel Arteta falls victim to the Pablo Mari Mirage. Concerns about our right-back as American Arsenology is soured once and for all on Calum "The Milkman" Chambers. Excitement about Thierry Henry and Vincent Kompany's recommendation of Sambi Lokonga, but concerns about his readiness. Will Arsenal do business before the window shuts?
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