Hosts Elizabeth and Francesca are here to fulfill all your American Girl desires. Discussions about the dolls, stories, films, and more will be explicit and abundant. The sisters are well-versed in the American Girl doll universe and want you to unwind and relive your youth by re-visiting some of your favorite obsessions growing up.
Check out the gals' instagram @americangirlbosses to follow along with their presentations :)
Please note that this podcast uses foul language and should not be listened to by youths who aren't allowed to hear the f word.
After a hiatus to accommodate a career change (talk about businessgirlbosses!), the girlies are back in action! It's time for America's favorite starlet, Beckie Rubin is here to talk business. Show business, grifting business, entrepreneurial business; she does it all.
Do you love hutzpah? How about unions? Or concussions? Or movies? What about cats? This saga has it all. What do you do when you need to buy your family passage from Russia to New York and you're only 9? Let Beckster tell you. How about when you're forced to celebrate Christmas because your teacher is an evangelist? She has that covered, too. Did you ever wonder what Coney Island was like when it was full of carnies? You're about to find out.
Listen up and hunker down as the gals take you deep into the colorful world of New York in 1914, where you can buy a banana for a penny and literally anyone can apparently be a movie star. Tune in to hear about our favorite American Opportunist!
27 Jul 2023
Part 2: Cécile Rey: The Rich Man's Girlboss
Part 2 of the most boring American Girls ever created!! This time, our lil ladies dive into the heinous fashion of New Orleans, 1853. The wins are huge, the losses are catastrophic. The future of these two (both in their time period and in ours) is also discussed, and accurate (probably). Join Elizabeth and Francesca as they tear these 9 year olds to shreds.
*the time period and place of these novels was hella interesting, so why are these girls (who are NOT friends, as evidenced by said books) SO BORING as individuals??
26 Jul 2023
Part 1: Marie-Grace Gardner: Marie-Girlboss
Oof the gals had a rough one with this. Not only were these two the most boring heroines ever, but the first recording of this episode was deleted and had to be re-recorded. These episodes are so long. Recording takes forever. But by the grace of God they did it. For you <3
It's time for the first ever JOINT EPISODE!!! Both gals are presenting for you today!
It's also Yellow Fever Time, Babyyy!!! Is this an interesting place and time that isn't typically covered in American History classes? You betcha! Does that make for an interesting premise? Of course! So, pray tell, HOW is it so BORING here? These bland girls do nothing. Interesting things happen TO them, but they are not interesting. Our two favorite hosts are, though, so please listen. I promise it's more interesting and fun than any of the wild books they had to read.
7 Jul 2023
Caroline Abbott: Seaward Girlboss
Howdy folx its your fav unhinged girlies coming back for an encore! Fashionable late, as always.
Journey with the lassies to Sackets Harbor, NY in 1812 to meet Caroline, Elizabeth's new favorite.
Some good things: ships, cats, ice skating, Hot Mama, pistols, torches. Some bad things: the British, war, arithmetic. The gals answer the age old question: who is the hottest AG mom-figure? (Hint: it's Mother Abbott).
This series was perfection. i am tired, please give it a read.
11 May 2023
Molly McIntire: Ungovernable Girlboss
Pop a Molly and settle in, friendos.
This week, the lassies discuss the girlboss who cannot be governed, Ms. Molly McIntire. How much do you love war? What about war sequels? This WWII champ refutes all laws and logic. Is she obsessed with hair that is not stick-straight and brown? Idk, ask Miss Campbell and her dark mahogany hair that swishes "like a dancer's skirt". Does she love playing bomb shelter? Idk, ask her very best and most traumatized friend, British Emily. Does she cover another best friend in worms, knowing full well that she has a legit phobia? Idk, ask Linda and/or Susan.
There are lots of witnesses to Molly's ungovernability lurking in the shadows of her tyranny. Are they only her "friends" because they're scared of retribution from a girl that acknowledges no ruler other than herself, the One True Goddess? You decide.
5 May 2023
Kit Kittredge: Jailbird Girlboss
Are you interested in depression? How about the Greatest of Depressions (the economic one, not the one we've all been experiencing since birth)?
Join our two heroic tramps as they delve into the depressing world of Ohio. Here is where our favorite shitty typist resides. Margaret Mildred (also called "Kit", or "Squirt" if ya nasty), is the baddest of the American Girl betches. Does she publicly shame her uncle via the news media? Of course. Does she indulge in violence? Always. Has she been to the clink? ...perhaps...
If you like bloomers, boardinghouses, shrimpy boys, wealth, Mr. Turkeypants, hobos, Amelia Earhart, Ohio, Robin Hood, or evictions, this is the series for you.
Ladies, Gentlemen, Folx of all ages: American Icon and Role Model, Kit Kittredge.
wow okay so these episodes just keep getting longer but like...it's quality content we promise.
27 Apr 2023
Samantha Parkington: Uptown Girlboss
***this is a Grandmary stan account***
OH you didn't want over an hour and a half of Samantha content? Should've said something earlier. It's too late now. Enjoy over 90 minutes of girlbossery starring your fav Uptown Girlboss, Sammy P. Accompanied by a variety of redheaded fellows, experience the fancy-pants hijinks of New York City at the turn of the century. Do you love women's rights? What about physical violence? How about sickly servant girls? Samantha has it all (and then some!)
Join Francesca and Elizabeth as they take you on a journey through New York, from the grimy streets of the city to the goosiest of lakes. I hope you brought your bird-watching paraphenalia.
21 Apr 2023
Addy Walker: Freedmen Girlboss
Travel back in time to one of the least funny wars in history: the Civil one. Let sisters Francesca and Elizabeth regale you with tales of Harriet the brat, workaholic Sarah Moore, and our hero, one Miss Addy Walker. She may be a nerd, but she is also a badass (apparently they're not mutually exclusive).
Only one question remains: is Aduke "Addy" Walker a true American Girlboss? That remains to be seen. Or heard. Give a listen and decide for yourself.
So yes, Kirsten may be one of the most ~boring~ dolls in the capsule collection, but did you ever consider that the boringness is a cover? Where is Singing Bird? What about her first teacher, Miss Winston? And don't forget about the number of small animals that have disappeared around her...
Today, the gals are discussing the US v. Kirsten: America's First Serial Killer. Delve with them into the unknown, highly suspect life and times of Blood Money Bitch Kirsten and her very strong brother, Lars. Venture into cave-with-door with Dead Old Man Jack, brave the wintry Minnesota storm (completely unnecessarily, with maximum danger) with Papa to retrieve her (non-vital) doll, Sari. Climb up a tree with Peter because dumb bitch Kirsten brought a spoon to a bear fight. Worship her during her special Kirstenmas tradition, Saint Lucia's Day, along with her (brainwashed?) cousins.
Listen to Kirsten become more and more unhinged as she reaches the biggest Change for Kirsten: pioneer farm girl to unholy hellion sent from Satan to wreak havoc.
7 Apr 2023
Josefina Montoya: Small Town Catholic Girlboss
***please see our instagram for the outfits and presentation slides discussed in the episodes***also follow us***and subscribe***
Welcome to Santa Fe, New Mexico girlies! Our hussies are discussing the virtues of one Ms. Maria Josefina Montoya, catholic. Girlboss. Fights rattlesnakes, beefs with goats, breaks heirloom jars. Come visit the rancho and learn about setting your father up with your aunt after your mom dies. Don't worry, this aunt was her sister, not his. Elizabeth is going to make a rock solid case for Josefina, Small Town Catholic Girlboss and you'd better buckle up cuz this one is a RIDE.
31 Mar 2023
Felicity Merriman: Recovering Tomboyboss
Buckle up friendos it's time for our Kolonial Kween, Feliciteigh Merriman. Horse Girl. Patriot. Is this episode too long? Perhaps. Did the girlies have the best time recording it? You betcha. As always, they did their best and this is the unfortunately result.
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In this episode, there are difficult discussions about the role slavery played in the Felicity books. The hope is that the content addresses the blatant racism of plantation ownership, with special attention paid to the lack of nuance and missed opportunities for educate young girls via the stories. For additional resources and information, please explore learningforjustice.org.
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Believe us when we say that these trollops are doing their best, but are NOT experts by any means.
24 Mar 2023
Kaya: The Original Horse Girlboss
This week Elizabeth presents Kaya: The Original Horse Girlboss to discuss her book series and, of course, highlights of her fits and merch. Check out Instagram to follow along with the presentation or just listen to two sisters bonding over the first (chronological) American Girl.
16 Mar 2023
Happy St. Nellie's Day!
Happy St. Nellie's Day, heathens! Listen in to learn a little bit (literally the littlest bit, i did not read any of the books) about Nellie's backstory and stay listening to hear unbiased and unfiltered wardrobe judgement (can you say post-adoption glow up?)
Please note: this was a practice episode. Next up is Kaya, and i promise we'll be more prepared.
pls b nice we don't take criticism well
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