Apocrypals

About Apocrypals

A podcast where two non-believers read through the Bible but try not to be jerks about it. Join comics writers Benito Cereno and Chris Sims as they journey through the Good Book from Acts to Zephaniah, with stops in the Apocrypha along the way.

Publisher

Benito and Chris

Category

comedy · history

Language

en

Explicit

No

First episode

29 Mar 2018

Latest episode

15 Aug 2026

Latest episodes

1 of 127 episodes have a transcript.

1. 

   15 Aug 2026TRANSCRIPT

   118: The Mouse Shall Not Lie Down With The Book (Psalms, Part 1)

   Host Chris and guest Benito explore the first 23 Psalms, discussing everything from wrestling to horse drugs, offering listeners a unique dive into ancient texts.

2. 

   8 May 2025

   Bonus: Biblical Mini-Golf

   For the first time in ten years, Theophiloi -- and the first time ever during the lifespan of this very podcast -- Chris and Benito are in the same place, actually hanging out with each other! What better way to celebrate this momentous occasion than by playing three full courses of Bible themed mini-golf? Join us as we recount our experience at Lexington, Kentucky's own Fairway to Heaven and pitch our own ideas for hagiographic Putt-Putt. Plus we spend like ten minutes trying to figure out if they have mini-golf in Malta. I didn't edit a second of this.

3. 

   18 Feb 2025

   117: King Solomon's Hog (The Second Book of Chronicles, feat. Aaron Higashi)

   Yes, Theophiloi, that quote at the top of the show is actually in Bible. Like, full canon Bible that you can find in the back of the pew or the hotel room drawer. I was surprised too, but you know who wasn't? Our special guest Aaron Higashi, who returns to the show from his Multipals appearance to help us through the seemingly endless slog that is 2 Chronicles! Will he be able to rescue us from the most boring book in the whole canon by revealing that it's actually secretly really interesting? Aaron thinks so, and if anyone can convince you, it's him! Topics of Discussion: The Alliance To End Dan McClellan, the statistics of death by cow, John Wick: Ad Bestias, the impact of the Babylonian exile on the development of the Torah, Solomonsplaining, the common currency/new ages of comics, a whole lot of Hog Talk, Rob Liefeld's The Covenant, Azazel (NOT Nightcrawler's dad), Zera the Cushite's alleged army, avoidance of seeking the Baals, incurable nasty butt disesase, the hands-on God of P, the Neko King, Chris just fully giving up, an eight year-old with Biblically bad vibes. Hymnal: An instrumental track whose name escapes me for some reason, "Take a Chance On Me" by Stephen Mann of English Martyrs Church. This episode of Apocrypals was edited by Chris. Offertory: As Enoch writes, "Whoever of you spends gold or silver for his brother's sake, he will receive ample treasure in the world to come." Support the show via http://ko-fi.com/apocrypals, or check out Official Apocrypals merchandise designed by Erica Henderson! https://www.teepublic.com/stores/apocrypals?ref_id=18246 Black Lives Matter. Trans Lives Matter. Heck 12. Isaiah 54:17

Inside a recent episode

118: The Mouse Shall Not Lie Down With The Book (Psalms, Part 1)

Published 15 Aug 2026 · Transcript excerpt

[…] And, uh, yeah, obviously, uh, tricky to to convey in in translation now does that does that actually like spell anything out or is it just like it's just it's just alphabetical order okay yeah so now does that continue into psalm 10 yes okay so that's a good like because in terms of content and length, nine and 10 do feel kind of separate to me. Yeah. But if there is a single, like unifying Riddler puzzle. Yeah. Well, so let me read you the note from the, um, Oxford annotation here. This composition, which is printed as a single psalm in the Septuagint, is constructed on the acrostic principle, every second verse beginning with a different successive letter of the Hebrew alphabet, a circumstance which helps to account for the seeming lack of logical sequence. […]

Reach and audience

Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.

Apple Podcasts (US)

4.9 / 5

607 ratings

Spotify

4.9 / 5

487 ratings

Podcast Authority Score: 56 / 100

A composite of feed quality, social presence, YouTube performance and engagement. Read the methodology.

Quality

86

Social presence

0

YouTube

0

Engagement

67

Contact Apocrypals

Guest appearances

Books guests

Based on episode analysis; this does not confirm that the show is currently accepting guests.

Shows with a similar audience

• 

  Retronauts

• 

  The Magnus Archives

• 

  My Brother, My Brother And Me

• 

  The Adventure Zone

• 

  War Rocket Ajax

• 

  Sawbones: A Marital Tour of Misguided Medicine

Questions about Apocrypals