- 15
- Episodes
- Bi-weekly
- Cadence
- 2025
- First episode
About Arms Open: Real Talk for Real Relationships
Arms Open: Real Talk for Real Relationships is a podcast from Arms Open Counselling. It features relationship advice and lessons from certified therapist Angela Kingma.
- Publisher
- Angela Kingma
- Category
- health & fitness · society & culture
- Language
- en
- Explicit
- No
- First episode
- 21 Sept 2025
- Latest episode
- 21 Oct 2026
Latest episodes
15 episodes in the feed.
21 Oct 2026
The Power of "I Get You"
In this episode, we explore the power of validation in relationships — and why feeling understood can matter just as much as feeling loved. Validation is not about agreeing with everything your partner says. It is about letting them know their experience makes sense and that you are willing to understand what they are feeling beneath the surface. You will hear practical examples of how to respond in ways that help your partner feel seen and heard, along with simple phrases you can try in your own relationship. We also talk about how validation can reduce defensiveness, deepen trust, and create the kind of emotional safety that helps couples move through conflict together rather than against each other. Relationship Reset Challenge Set aside 10 minutes this week for a “seen and heard” check-in with your partner. Take turns sharing one thing that felt heavy, one thing that felt connecting, and one thing you would like more of. The listener’s job is to reflect and validate before responding. Resources Mentioned Arms Open Counselling resources and blog posts: www.armsopencounselling.com (http://www.armsopencounselling.com) Connect with Us If today’s episode resonated with you, share it with a partner or friend! Follow @ArmsOpenCounselling on Instagram and Facebook for more relationship wisdom, behind-the-scenes therapy insights, and heart-centered tips. Presented by: Angela Kingma Edited by: Tayte McHugh
17 Jun 2026
The Art Of Listening Without Shields
In this episode, Angela opens Season 3 by exploring one of the most common and most costly patterns in close relationships: listening to defend rather than listening to understand. Drawing from Gottman Method research and Emotion-Focused Therapy, Angela unpacks why defensiveness isn't the enemy but rather a nervous system signal, what happens when protection replaces connection, and how learning to truly hear your partner can transform conflict into closeness, one pause at a time. Relationship Reset Challenge The Rapaport Practice Round Set a timer for five minutes and try one full Rapaport round: one person speaks, one person only listens and reflects. When the speaker says "yes, you got it," switch. No rebuttals. No fixing. Just: do you understand me? Notice what shifts when someone feels truly heard, even once. Resources Mentioned Arms Open Counselling resources and blog posts: www.armsopencounselling.com (http://www.armsopencounselling.com) Connect with Us If today’s episode resonated with you, share it with a partner or friend! Follow @ArmsOpenCounselling on Instagram and Facebook for more relationship wisdom, behind-the-scenes therapy insights, and heart-centered tips. Presented by: Angela Kingma Edited by: Tayte McHugh
3 Jun 2026
How Couples Bounce Back
In this episode, Angela explores one of the most quietly transformative skills in any relationship: the repair attempt. Angela unpacks what repair actually looks like beyond the perfect apology — and why the ability to come back to each other after conflict matters far more than whether conflict happens at all. Whether repair feels natural or terrifyingly vulnerable in your relationship, this episode offers real language, warm insight, and a practical reset to help you find your way back to each other. Relationship Reset Challenge One honest repair this week This week's challenge invites you to try one genuine repair attempt, no drama, no perfectly timed speech required. Just a small, intentional move toward your partner. Example: "I was short with you earlier, and I'm sorry, can we start over?" No perfection required, just intention. Resources Mentioned Arms Open Counselling resources and blog posts: www.armsopencounselling.com (http://www.armsopencounselling.com) Connect with Us If today’s episode resonated with you, share it with a partner or friend! Follow @ArmsOpenCounselling on Instagram and Facebook for more relationship wisdom, behind-the-scenes therapy insights, and heart-centered tips. Presented by: Angela Kingma Edited by: Tayte McHugh
20 May 2026
Fondness and Admiration
Relationship Reset Challenge Resources Mentioned Arms Open Counselling resources and blog posts: www.armsopencounselling.com (http://www.armsopencounselling.com) Connect with Us If today’s episode resonated with you, share it with a partner or friend! Follow @ArmsOpenCounselling on Instagram and Facebook for more relationship wisdom, behind-the-scenes therapy insights, and heart-centered tips. Presented by: Angela Kingma Edited by: Tayte McHugh
15 Apr 2026
Stress-Reducing Conversations — Don't Fix It, Feel It
In this episode, Angela explores one of the most quietly misunderstood skills in relationships — the stress-reducing conversation. Not every hard moment needs a solution. Sometimes what your partner needs most is simply to feel heard, held, and less alone in what they're carrying. Angela shares a hilarious (and completely relatable) client story about a well-meaning partner who showed up to an emotional conversation with a spiral-bound notebook and bullet-pointed action items — and uses it to unpack why the fix-it instinct, while rooted in love, can accidentally leave partners feeling unseen. Relationship Reset Challenge Try the 10-minute rule. Give your partner ten minutes of uninterrupted, advice-free listening — no solutions, no redirects, no silver linings, and absolutely no notebooks. Ask one open question: "What's been the hardest part of this for you?" Then just be there with what comes. Notice what shifts — in them, and in you. Resources mentioned Arms Open Counselling resources and blog posts: www.armsopencounselling.com (http://www.armsopencounselling.com) The Gottman Institute — stress-reducing conversations and rituals of connection: www.gottman.com (http://www.gottman.com) Dr. Sue Johnson — Emotion-Focused Therapy for couples: www.iceeft.com (http://www.iceeft.com) Connect with Us If today’s episode resonated with you, share it with a partner or friend! Follow @ArmsOpenCounselling on Instagram and Facebook for more relationship wisdom, behind-the-scenes therapy insights, and heart-centered tips. Presented by: Angela Kingma Edited by: Tayte McHugh
11 Feb 2026
Gentle Start-Ups — Fighting Fair by Starting Soft
This episode explores how the first three minutes of a hard conversation predict how it will end, and how our nervous systems and attachment needs often drive harsh openings that are really desperate bids for connection. Drawing from Gottman Method research and Emotion-Focused Therapy, Angela offers practical, real-life language shifts to help you bring up hard topics with respect, appreciation, and emotional safety, even when you’re tired, resentful, or feeling unseen. Relationship Reset Challenge The 60-Second Start-Up Pause Before you bring up a concern this week, pause for one minute. Ask yourself: “What am I really feeling underneath this frustration?” and “What do I actually need right now?” Then remove blanket generalizations like “You always” and start with a moment of appreciation before naming the issue. For example: “I really appreciate how much you do for our family. There’s something on my heart I’d like to talk about.” No perfection required — just intention. Resources Mentioned Arms Open Counselling resources and blog posts: www.armsopencounselling.com (http://www.armsopencounselling.com) Connect with Us If today’s episode resonated with you, share it with a partner or friend! Follow @ArmsOpenCounselling on Instagram and Facebook for more relationship wisdom, behind-the-scenes therapy insights, and heart-centered tips. Presented by: Angela Kingma Edited by: Tayte McHugh
28 Jan 2026
Tiny Turns Towards Love
What if the strength of your relationship isn’t built in the big moments — but in the small ones you barely notice? In this episode, Angela explores the power of “turning toward” your partner through everyday micro-moments of connection. Drawing from the Gottman Method and Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), this conversation breaks down what bids for connection look like in real life, why they matter so deeply, and how tiny, intentional responses can rebuild closeness, trust, and emotional safety over time. Relationship Reset Challenge This week, practice turning toward intentionally: Notice one bid for connection each day and respond with presence — a look, a question, a touch, or a few moments of attention. At the end of the day, reflect: Did I turn toward love today? Resources Mentioned Gottman: gottman.com/blog/turn-toward-instead-of-away/ (http://gottman.com/blog/turn-toward-instead-of-away/) The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (John Gottman) Hold Me Tight + drsuejohnson.com (http://drsuejohnson.com) gottman.com/couples/ (http://gottman.com/couples/) Arms Open Counselling resources and blog posts: www.armsopencounselling.com (http://www.armsopencounselling.com) Connect with Us If today’s episode resonated with you, share it with a partner or friend! Follow @ArmsOpenCounselling on Instagram and Facebook for more relationship wisdom, behind-the-scenes therapy insights, and heart-centered tips. Presented by: Angela Kingma Edited by: Tayte McHugh
6 Jan 2026
The Four Horsemen
Criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling — they show up in every relationship at some point. In this episode, Angela breaks down what these “Four Horsemen” actually look and sound like in everyday life, why they happen, and the small, simple shifts couples can make to create more connection and less conflict. This is a practical, judgment-free guide to recognizing harmful patterns early and choosing healthier communication that feels good for both partners. Relationship Reset Challenge Choose one Horseman you fall into most often and practice its antidote every day for the next week: Criticism → Gentle startup Contempt → One daily appreciation Defensiveness → Own 2% Stonewalling → Take a break with a return time Resources Mentioned John & Julie Gottman – The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work Arms Open Counselling resources and blog posts: www.armsopencounselling.com (http://www.armsopencounselling.com) Connect with Us If today’s episode resonated with you, share it with a partner or friend! Follow @ArmsOpenCounselling on Instagram and Facebook for more relationship wisdom, behind-the-scenes therapy insights, and heart-centered tips. Presented by: Angela Kingma Edited by: Tayte McHugh
23 Dec 2025
Holiday Bonus Episode
The holidays can bring closeness, joy, and meaningful traditions — and they can also magnify stress, tension, and disconnection in relationships. In this episode, Angela explores why couples often struggle more during the holiday season, how stress and expectations impact connection, and what actually helps couples slow down and stay emotionally close. Grounded in the Gottman Method and Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), this conversation offers warmth, humour, and practical tools for navigating real-life love during a busy season. Relationship Reset Challenge Set aside 15 uninterrupted minutes this week and take turns answering: One thing that’s been draining me lately One way I feel connected to you One small thing we could do this week to feel closer Listen without fixing or defending — just be present with each other. Resources Mentioned John Gottman – insights on stress, expectations, and connection Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) – Understanding emotional needs and attachment in relationships Arms Open Counselling resources and blog posts: www.armsopencounselling.com (http://www.armsopencounselling.com) Connect with Us If today’s episode resonated with you, share it with a partner or friend. Follow @ArmsOpenCounselling on Instagram and Facebook for more relationship wisdom, behind-the-scenes therapy insights, and heart-centered tips. Presented by: Angela Kingma Edited by: Tayte McHugh
9 Dec 2025
Bonus Episode
Sorry for the gap in uploads, life got busy as it tends to do. This episode gets very real, very raw. In it, Angela explores the sometimes difficult, but always worthwhile reality of long-term relationships. She pulls from her personal experience to provide a perspective she believes is sorely lacking in relationship media. Please enjoy this bonus episode. Regularly scheduled uploads will be returning shortly. Connect with Us If today’s episode resonated with you, share it with a partner or friend! Follow @ArmsOpenCounselling on Instagram and Facebook for more relationship wisdom, behind-the-scenes therapy insights, and heart-centered tips. Presented by Angela Kingma Edited by Tayte McHugh
28 Oct 2025
The Magic 5 Hours a Week
In this episode, Angela explores how just five intentional hours a week can transform your relationship. Drawing from the Gottman Method and Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT), she shares how to build daily rituals of connection that strengthen trust, friendship, and emotional safety. Discover how small, consistent habits can rekindle closeness — no grand gestures required. Relationship Reset Challenge Create your own 5-Hour Love Plan this week. Ask each other: What’s one ritual we can add in the morning? What does a comforting reunion look like for us? How can we bring back a little fun or play? When can we schedule a weekly check-in? Remember — it’s not about perfection; it’s about presence. Resources Mentioned John & Julie Gottman – The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work Dr. Sue Johnson – Hold Me Tight (EFT framework for emotional connection) Arms Open Counselling resources and blog posts: www.armsopencounselling.com (http://www.armsopencounselling.com) Connect with Us If today’s episode resonated with you, share it with a partner or friend! Follow @ArmsOpenCounselling on Instagram and Facebook for more relationship wisdom, behind-the-scenes therapy insights, and heart-centered tips. Presented by: Angela Kingma Edited by: Tayte McHugh
14 Oct 2025
Spotting the Tiny Moments That Build Love
Bids for connection are the tiny invitations we send our partner every day — a glance, a sigh, a question, a playful comment. In this episode, Angela explains how recognizing and responding to those small moments can transform the emotional climate of a relationship. Drawing from Gottman Method research and Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT), you’ll learn how to identify bids, understand the attachment needs beneath them, and turn toward your partner in ways that build lasting safety, trust, and laughter. Relationship Reset Challenge This week, catch two bids a day and respond. Pause before defaulting to distraction, and intentionally turn toward instead. Before bed, reflect together: “When did we connect today?” “When did we miss each other’s bids?” Resources Mentioned John & Julie Gottman, The Relationship Cure — definitive guide to bids for connection. Dr. Sue Johnson, Hold Me Tight — Emotion-Focused Therapy for couples. Arms Open Counselling resources and blog posts: www.armsopencounselling.com (http://www.armsopencounselling.com) Connect with Us If today’s episode resonated with you, share it with a partner or friend who could use a little reminder that love grows in tiny moments. Follow @ArmsOpenCounselling on Instagram and Facebook for more relationship wisdom, behind-the-scenes therapy insights, and heart-centered tips. Presented by Angela Kingma Edited by Tayte McHugh
30 Sept 2025
The Power of Tiny Rituals
In this episode, Angela explores why small rituals matter more than grand gestures, how they build trust, intimacy, and belonging, and how couples can create their own meaningful rituals. Drawing from both Gottman Method research and Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), you’ll learn how to weave love into the fabric of daily life—without adding stress or another “to-do.” Relationship Reset Choose one tiny ritual to create or strengthen this week. It could be a goodbye kiss, a daily text, or asking: “What was the best part of your day?” Stick with it for 7 days and notice how it changes your connection. Connect with us At Arms Open Counselling, we help couples strengthen their relationships using proven approaches like the Gottman Method and Emotionally Focused Therapy. If you’d like support creating stronger connections in your own relationship, we’re here for you. Serving small-town communities with heart-centred mental health care. Visit Arms Open Counselling (https://www.armsopencounselling.com/) Presented by Angela Kingma Edited by Tayte McHugh
23 Sept 2025
Getting to Know Your Partner All Over Again
Remember those early days when you wanted to know everything about your partner? That curiosity built the foundation of your relationship—and it’s something you can keep refreshing. In this episode, Angela Kingma, Clinical Director at Arms Open Counselling, shares how Love Maps (a Gottman Method tool) can help you stay connected, even when life gets messy. Relationship Reset: Ask just ONE Love Map question this week and see what unfolds. Need a little extra support? Our team at Arms Open Counselling is here to help you strengthen your relationships and care for your mental health. https://www.armsopencounselling.com/ (https://www.armsopencounselling.com/) Because here, it’s all about “Where love meets real life.” Presented by Angela Kingma Edited by Tayte McHugh
21 Sept 2025
Introduction
First episode will go up on Tuesday September 23, 2025 at 5am EST. Look for it wherever you get your podcasts!
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