A Southern conversational podcast hosted by Patryck that blends southern charm with honesty about life, mental health, dating, and modern culture. Each episode features "Porch Mail: Y'all's Bitching" where listeners submit complaints for Patryck to validate and expand on, followed by deep dives into topics like personal growth, gay dating in small communities, social media toxicity, and the messy reality of being human. With his signature mix of self-deprecating humor and genuine insight, Patryck creates a space for authentic conversations that make listeners feel seen.

Back Porch Btchn Podcast
Claim This Podcastby Patryck
Podcast Overview
A Southern conversational podcast hosted by Patryck that blends southern charm with honesty about life, mental health, dating, and modern culture. Each episode features "Porch Mail: Y'all's Bitching" where listeners submit complaints for Patryck to validate and expand on, followed by deep dives into topics like personal growth, gay dating in small communities, social media toxicity, and the messy reality of being human. With his signature mix of self-deprecating humor and genuine insight, Patryck creates a space for authentic conversations that make listeners feel seen.
Language
🇺🇲
Publishing Since
8/7/2025
1 verified contact email on file for Back Porch Btchn Podcast
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Recent Episodes

December 24, 2025
Season Finale: Christmas, Chaos and Consumerism
<p>The Final Episode of Season 1 - A Christmas Special About Capitalism, Family Dysfunction, and Why You're Doing This to Yourself.</p><p>In the uproarious season finale of Back Porch Bitching, host Patryck wraps up the year with laughs, rants, and enough holiday chaos to fill Santa's sleigh. Kicking off with a heartfelt shoutout to fans and guests, he dives into the absurdity of holiday spending and the infamous family gatherings.</p><p>Patryck hilariously critiques the insane amounts of money dropped on gifts we don’t really want to give, all while painting a vivid picture of Aunt Jean waddling in with her dessert and a questionable leg ulcer, alongside Uncle Terry endlessly droning about football. Seriously, nobody asked for a recap of his church softball team's ejections!</p><p>While cracking jokes about holiday consumerism and bizarre family dynamics, Patryck also tackles the deeper stuff—like loneliness during the holidays—because life isn’t all eggnog and tinsel. He encourages listeners to set boundaries and prioritize their own peace instead of falling into the holiday trap of obligation.</p><p>As he signs off, Patryck promises bonus episodes might drop if he gets bored enough, leaving everyone with a hearty "Merry Christmas!" and a reminder to cherish the chaos that comes with family and festive food—just maybe avoid Aunt Jean's homemade candy. Here’s to a wild ride as we look forward to Season 2!</p>

December 10, 2025
Flashers On, Brains Off - A Holiday Survival Guide
<p><strong>Episode 14: Flashers On, Brains Off - A Holiday Survival Guide</strong></p><p>Patryck is BACK after battling a respiratory infection (survived COVID and the holidays only to get taken out by a basic cold) and he's got THOUGHTS about the holiday season.</p><p><strong>This week's chaos:</strong></p><p><strong>Snow Drama:</strong> People who can't drive in snow but insist on going 3 mph with flashers on, plus essential workers risking their lives while others work from their couch in pajamas (sit DOWN)</p><p><strong>Porch Mail delivers:</strong></p><ul><li>The Starbucks bear cup frenzy that had people FIGHTING and flipping them on eBay (Patryck's bitter he didn't get one)</li><li>Brenda texting out of nowhere with buck-toothed Bobby's Christmas list: PlayStation 5, Tecovas boots, and cash for granddaddy's Chevy. Bobby is 8.</li></ul><p><strong>Main Topic - Holiday Season Chaos:</strong> The weird Thanksgiving-to-Christmas transition where money flies out the window "like meth on payday," work becomes completely useless from Thanksgiving to January ("let's circle back after the first of the year"), and everyone's pretending they like their coworkers at Christmas parties.</p><p>Cookie swaps from questionable kitchens (chocolate chips or diaper flecks?), fighting Bethany at Target at 6 AM, buying $50 candles for Janet who you hide from in bathroom stalls, and drunk girls dry humping Santa statues while butchering Mariah Carey.</p><p><strong>The real talk:</strong> We're all barely holding it together with tinsel and prescription medication, chasing those tiny moments of actual magic through the chaos.</p><p><strong>One more episode left in Season 1!</strong></p><p>The holidays: Where we financially ruin ourselves for people we wouldn't piss on if they were on fire the other eleven months of the year.</p>

November 26, 2025
Turkey, Trauma, and Aunt Jean's Diabetic Toe
<p><strong>Y'all Better Sit Down for This One: Episode 13 Thanksgiving Special</strong></p><p>Honey, Patryck is serving up a Thanksgiving survival guide hotter than a deep fryer in someone's driveway (don't do that, by the way - you'll burn your whole house down).</p><p><strong>What you're getting into:</strong></p><p>This episode is your field guide to surviving Thanksgiving with your sanity mostly intact. We're talking about the whole blessed mess - from work potlucks where you don't trust nobody's kitchen, to that one aunt who's been "roommates" with Linda for 27 years (bless their hearts, we love them), to your cousin who never got over that knee injury and won't shut up about football.</p><p>Patryck's laying down the law on Southern Thanksgiving: cornbread dressing is superior, PEE-CANS (not PEE-KANS) and marshmallows are mandatory on sweet potato casserole, and if you show up with boxed mac and cheese, you might as well just turn around and go home.</p><p>We're also addressing the drunk uncle on the side-by-side, Aunt Jean showing everyone her diabetic toe pictures, and why that green gelatin salad from up North needs to stay up North where it belongs.</p><p><strong>But here's the real talk:</strong> As chaotic and messy as Thanksgiving is, cherish it. Not everyone's got a table to sit at. Not everyone's got people - crazy as they may be - to share a meal with. Whether it's blood family or chosen family, be grateful for the folks who show up.</p><p>So grab your stretchy pants, hide some mini bottles in your pockets for when the political talk starts, and remember - the chaos is what makes the memories.</p><p><br></p><p>#BackPorchBitching #ThanksgivingEpisode #HolidayChaos #ThanksgivingHumor #FamilyDrama #PodcastLife #HolidayPodcast #ThanksgivingSpecial #ComedyPodcast #SouthernThanksgiving</p>
19 total episodes available
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This podcast updates daily.
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