Welcome to The Becoming HER Podcast with me, Nikki Spoelstra. This is a space where we explore the human experience and the challenges, obstacles, and resiliency that shape who we are. Alongside expert guests and featured friends, I am here to host meaningful conversations that tackle life's complex challenges with humor, grace, and sass. Each episode is designed to inspire collective growth and deepen our understanding of ourselves and the world around us.XO Nikki Spo
Publisher
Nikki Spo
Category
business · education · health & fitness · kids & family · religion & spirituality · society & culture
Real Love Is Not Silent with Vanessa Molina - Ep. 221
In this episode of Becoming Her, host Nikki sits down with Vanessa Molina, a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, for one of the most honest, practical conversations we've had on this show.
They go deep — on faith in relationships, the communication mistakes couples keep making without realizing it, what EMDR therapy actually is (and why it hits different than talk therapy), and why some of the most well-intentioned moms might be accidentally working against their kids' growth.
Vanessa shares real tools she uses in session: soft start-ups for healthier conflict, a counterintuitive homework assignment she gives couples that actually builds connection, and the hard truth about setting boundaries — even when the people around you push back.
If you've ever felt like you're on survival mode in your relationships — this episode gives you the language and the tools to start doing it differently.
In this episode:
Why faith can be a powerful foundation in relationships — and what happens at both extremes
The one communication shift (soft start-ups) that stops conflict before it escalates
Why Vanessa assigns couples 15 minutes of arguing per day — and why it works
What EMDR is, how it works, and why it's changing trauma healing
How to set boundaries with family when they don't like it — and what to do when the boundary gets crossed
What it means to "clean your side of the street" in a relationship
Why over-protecting your kids from adversity backfires — and what resilience actually looks like
Why real love is not silent
Connect with Vanessa:
Coral Gables Counseling Center | Telehealth & In-Person Sessions Available
Services: Couples Therapy | Family Therapy | Trauma (EMDR) | Anxiety | Depression | OCD
Connect with Nikki
www.nikkispo.com (http://www.nikkispo.com)
@nikkisappspo / @wearebecoming_her
Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com (https://pcm.adswizz.com) for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
22 Apr 2026
Living a Soul-Led Life (With Some Bitter Medicine) with Nikki Novo. Ep. 220
Welcome BACK to Becoming: HER. This week’s episode feels especially full circle, because I’m sitting down with someone who has not only been on the podcast before, but who has also been a meaningful part of my personal journey, Nikki Novo.
Nikki and I have known each other for a few years now, and what makes this conversation so special is the shared community we’ve built along the way. It’s one of those rare, deeply connected circles of women that feels both grounding and expansive at the same time, where growth, intuition, and honest conversations are always at the center. Tune in to find out more!
In this episode…
Coming home to yourself
Living a soul led life
Mind, body, & soul
Self-mediation
Hearing yourself & your truth
Expanding identities
If not now, when?
Quotes
“My work is helping people and making spaces for people to hear themselves and hear the truth.” - Nikki Novo
“Be the change you're WILLING and WANT to see.” - Nikki Novo
“We need friction. Our lives require friction because that's where you grow.” - Nikki Spo
“Your intuition, the voice of your soul, is not going to scream over your busy calendar.” - Nikki Novo
Timestamps:
0:00 - 2:05 | Intro
2:05 - 5:25 | Coming home to yourself
5:25 -11:25 | Living a soul-led life with others
11:25 - 16:15 | Wanting to control
16:15 - 22:45 | Identity
22:45 - 29:35 | If not now, when?
28:35 - 36:00 | Knowing where to begin
36:00 - 39:50 | Your inner child
41:40 - 46:45 | Men are waking up
46:45 - 51:40 | Waking up everyone else
51:40 - 57:35 | Resentment of people in their light
57:35 - 59:57 | Outro
–
SANA SKIN STUDIO is my #1 go-to spot for self-care. My favorite facial is the Super Glow, and you can get $25 off of your first facial when you book at www.sanaskinstudio.com (http://www.sanaskinstudio.com) with my code NIKKISPOGLOW.
Connect with Nikki Novo
nikkinovo.com / nikkinovo.com/podcast
@nikkinovo
Connect with Nikki
www.nikkispo.com (http://www.nikkispo.com)
@nikkisappspo / @wearebecoming_her
Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com (https://pcm.adswizz.com) for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
24 Mar 2026
Getting to Your Zone of Genius with Lacey Newman. Ep. 219
Welcome BACK to Becoming: HER. This week, I’m so excited to be joined by Lacey Newman. Lacey is currently navigating a powerful transition from the real estate industry to coaching female entrepreneurs on a much broader scale, while also stepping into the world of content creation.
Tune in as we talk about what it really looks like to pivot, build something new, and balance it all along the way.
In this episode…
Survival into strategy
Addiction of being needed
Zone of genius
Burnout
Zone of excellence vs. zone of genius
When is it time to LET GO?!
Quotes
“You have to understand that overfunctioning and being the most capable person in the room is an addiction and a dopamine hit. A lot of us are addicted to being needed.” - Lacey Newman
“Other people see our strengths with a lot more clarity than we do sometimes because we are just too close to it.” - Lacey Newman
“I always say I reserve the right to change my mind.” - Nikki Spo
Timestamps:
0:00 - 2:45 | Intro
2:45 - 8:20 | Survival into strategy
8:20 - 11:30 | Finding that zone of genius
11:30 - 20:20 | Figuring out when it's time to LET GO
20:20 - 23:50 | Reclaiming your life
23:50 - 27:25 | Content creation
27:25 - 32:00 | Reflection points
32:00 - 40:35 | Permission to mute, unfollow, & block
40:35 - 45:35 | The people that get it, get it
45:35 - 52:30 | How business affects money beliefs
–
SANA SKIN STUDIO is my #1 go-to spot for self-care. My favorite facial is the Super Glow, and you can get $25 off of your first facial when you book at www.sanaskinstudio.com (http://www.sanaskinstudio.com) with my code NIKKISPOGLOW.
Connect with Lacey Newman
@alignedwithlacey
Connect with Nikki
www.nikkispo.com (http://www.nikkispo.com)
@nikkisappspo / @wearebecoming_her
Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com (https://pcm.adswizz.com) for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
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