Belongfulness: The creative ways people are building community and re-weaving our social fabric

About Belongfulness: The creative ways people are building community and re-weaving our social fabric

Even before the pandemic, an epidemic of loneliness has been robbing millions of their health and happiness. Fortunately, the cures are readily available—if you know where to look. Follow along to learn how to foster belonging in yourself and others! -- 👋 Hey there! I'm Tony. I'm on a mission to show people the best and easiest ways each of us can cure the world's epidemic of loneliness. Follow my journey to learn about the resources I'm creating: http://tonybacigalupo.com http://twitter.com/tonybgoode

Publisher

Tony Bacigalupo

Category

society & culture

Language

en

Explicit

No

First episode

30 Sept 2020

Latest episode

1 Jul 2025

Latest episodes

18 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   1 Jul 2025

   Bike Party

   📻 Join us Wednesdays at 5:00pm ET: https://wfutradio.com 📼 Video stream: https://youtube.com/@belongfulness/streams

2. 

   24 Jun 2025

   Aleks Czajka from Bunch

   📻 Join us Wednesdays at 5:00pm ET: https://wfutradio.com 📼 Video stream: https://youtube.com/@belongfulness/streams

3. 

   17 Jun 2025

   Joy Jing

   📻 Join us Wednesdays at 5:00pm ET: https://wfutradio.com 📼 Video stream: https://youtube.com/@belongfulness/streams

4. 

   10 Jun 2025

   The Make New Friends at a Bookshop Meetup, volunteer trash pickups, and more from our trip to London

   The hosts discuss community building through bookshop meetups, volunteer trash pickups, and local hubs in London, highlighting the importance of consistent engagement and leveraging existing infrastructure to repair social connections.

5. 

   3 Jun 2025

   From High School Bands to Hybrid Work with Christina Bacigalupo and Rob Pratt

   Guests Christina Bacigalupo and Rob Pratt discuss building community through simple, consistent interactions and the challenges of work-life balance in hybrid environments, highlighting the importance of rest and setting boundaries in this interview.

6. 

   27 May 2025

   Tara Giles of the Community Builders Hub

   Tara Giles of the Community Builders Hub discusses creative strategies for constructing community and strengthening social connections in this interview.

7. 

   20 Feb 2024

   Overcoming social anxiety and opening up to new connection with Ani Castillo, author and illustrator

   Author of the wonderful books Ping and Spark, and the new book People are My Favorite Places (https://a.co/d/2bSMh9A), Ani Castillo shared her personal journey overcoming social anxiety, the role of religious communities, the power of inner dialogue, and much more. Watch the full interview here (https://youtu.be/tAr-gra7sAQ) or listen on your favorite podcast platform here (https://pod.link/1534202027). Overcoming social anxiety to build connection Social anxiety is more than just shyness; it can be a crippling condition that prevents people from forming meaningful relationships. Ani bravely shared her personal experience with severe social anxiety, noting, "I was born with social anxiety or it was given to me by experience, I don't know. But I'm one of the people on earth who had received the gift, the terrible gift, of social anxiety." She further explained how therapy helped her manage this condition: "My therapist introduced people, like almost like you have phobia of snakes or heights. They had to introduce interactions with people little by little, and they started giving me homework." The key takeaway here is to approach people as if they are already friends. This simple mental shift can have profound impacts on your comfort level and the quality of the interaction. The role of church and religious communities Ani appreciates the sense of belonging she finds in her church community. But what really stood out was her emphasis on the intergenerational nature of these communities and the built-in social rituals. She mentioned, "Churches are amazing just to bring people together." "I think churches are amazing just to bring people together and it’s funny that we have to agree to believe in Jesus or Buddha or something." The power of inner voice and self-talk The dialogue we have with ourselves often goes unnoticed but has a significant impact, especially for those dealing with mental health issues or loneliness. Ani shared her experience: "When I went to this talk, for example, first of all, I get really nervous going to a crowd. So when I tell myself on my way there, I'm brainwashing myself the whole way there because I get really nervous." And she also emphasized the power of inner dialogue: "If you tell yourself, 'Nobody likes me.' You know, when I went to this talk, for example, first of all, I get really nervous going to a crowd." Conflict resolution and the dangers of "othering" The conversation touched on the timely subject of societal tensions and conflicts, often fueled by a lack of understanding and communication. "I feel we all want the same thing. We all want to be peaceful, healthy, and our family safe and us being safe. That’s what we can agree on." "I feel like a lot comes down to a lack of understanding that we all want the same things. And if we work together towards that, like it wouldn’t be any worse or anything." The importance of imagination and vision Imagination is not just the realm of artists and children; it’s a crucial tool for personal growth and societal change. Ani highlighted: "It's a book about living in your imagination and that's the source of change and growth and like bigger things happening for you and daring more and reaching out for more and growing more." Links https://www.instagram.com/anicastillo/ (https://www.instagram.com/anicastillo/?hl=en) https://imaginaryfriend.ca/ (https://imaginaryfriend.ca/) Book: People Are My Favorite Places (https://a.co/d/2bSMh9A)

8. 

   13 Feb 2024

   Learning how to be hopeful with Kathryn Goetzke of the Shine Hope Company

   Is hope something we need to be taught? Kathryn Goetzke, leading hope researcher and founder of The Shine Hope Company, unpacks the science behind cultivating hope and resilience in the face of adversity. In this conversation, we explore Goetzke's deeply personal journey, her research into America's hopelessness crisis, and practical strategies to design a more hopeful daily life. Watch the full interview here (https://youtu.be/PfQmFScN8mU?si=p1PHY_mxkDU81Dux) or listen on your favorite podcast platform here (https://pod.link/1534202027). Learned hopelessness and learned hopefulness Kathryn spoke about the concepts of hope and hopelessness, based on her professional research as well as personal experiences. Kathryn described feeling hopeless after her father's suicide as a teenager, leading to her own experiences with addiction and hopelessness. She emphasized the need to understand and teach the science behind cultivating hope, to counteract societal forces that breed hopelessness. "Hopelessness was really the single consistent predictor of suicide." Kathryn has made it her mission to develop programs that measure hope levels and teach concrete skills for boosting hope and resilience. Programs for youth We touched on the crisis of hopelessness among youth today—for example, in one study, 57% of teen girls reported persistent hopelessness. To combat this, Kathryn developed programs to instill hope competence in children, teens, and young adults. These range from short lessons for early elementary schoolers to a 10-week course on hope skills for college students. "I started with that age because anxiety and depression, historically it would go up in 11 to 12 year olds. And if you can catch it early and get someone into treatment and then get them the support they need, it's such a lower cost on society, also much better for the individual." Kathryn explained that she targets pre-teens and adolescents because that is when anxiety and depression typically start rising. Her goal is to provide research-based hope education to youth across settings like schools, extracurriculars, places of worship, and more. "I'd like to see hope education mandated in school systems." Kathryn believes hope literacy needs to become a core part of education and mental health given today's crisis levels of hopelessness. "We're working a license to college campuses across the US. So if you know a college campus that could use some hope skills, it's a course with top mental health, happiness, hope experts, really incredible, incredible experts on it." Practical tips for cultivating hope Kathryn stressed starting with small, gradual changes rather than trying to overhaul everything at once. Ideas include habit stacking, like meditating after brushing your teeth, finding accountability partners, and intentionally incorporating minor happiness boosts throughout the day. "Once you see that you can change one small little thing, you start thinking, 'Oh, I can change. If I can change that, maybe I could change this. I could change this, maybe I could change this.' And then before you know it, your whole life is different." Kathryn emphasized being proactive about self-care and positive habits precisely when feeling stressed or hopeless—the more we can build up the good, the more we can equip ourselves to envision what a better life might look like. https://theshinehopecompany.com/ (https://theshinehopecompany.com/adult-hope-scale/) https://theshinehopecompany.com/adult-hope-scale/ (https://theshinehopecompany.com/adult-hope-scale/) -- Belongfulness links: http://belongfulness.com (http://belongfulness.com) https://twitter.com/belongfulness (https://twitter.com/belongfulness) https://instagram.com/belongfulness (https://instagram.com/belongfulness) https://linkedin.com/company/belongfulness (https://linkedin.com/company/belongfulness) https://tiktok.com/@belongfulness (https://tiktok.com/@belongfulness)

9. 

   30 Nov 2023

   Eco Evolution: The unofficial hub of Norwalk, plus connecting over sustainability with Brad Kerner (AKA the Eco Dude)

   I recently spoke with Brad Kerner, founder of The Eco Evolution market and cafe in Connecticut. Brad started his shop as a pandemic career shift, drawing on his background in behavior change to promote sustainability. Though retail proved more challenging than expected, he remains dedicated to his mission. We discussed Brad's emphasis on facilitating connections in his community-oriented space. He shared his vision to transform the shop into a vibrant 'third place,' though organically attracting groups has been difficult. Brad also opened up about the constant struggles small business owners face, and the importance of community support. Overall, I was inspired by Brad's resilience in the face of obstacles, and his enduring commitment to foster inclusive spaces that bring people together. Watch the full interview here or listen on your favorite podcast platform here. -- STARTING A BUSINESS AS A PANDEMIC PIVOT Brad lost his job in international development due to the pandemic. He had no prior retail or coffee experience, but started The Eco Evolution Market as a way to enact positive environmental change. However, he found retail was much harder than expected. "It was never part of the plan. It also isn't my dream come true." "I had no, I have no experience in retail and no experience in food service or coffee." "Little did I know that retail is so fricking hard." Though the retail business has proven more difficult than expected, Brad remains dedicated to his mission of promoting sustainability and community. He has overcome major obstacles and demonstrated resilience in adapting to an unexpected career shift. -- BEING WELCOMING AND FACILITATING CONNECTIONS Brad aims to create an inclusive space where everyone feels comfortable. He trains staff to greet everyone, learn names, and connect customers who may share common interests. "I wanted a space that's inclusive for everyone where everyone feels comfortable." "We say hello to everyone that walks through the door and you've been to my space." Brad's emphasis on inclusive spaces and human connections exemplifies his core values. His hospitality strategies aim to foster a warmth that converted customers into friends. -- VISION FOR A COMMUNITY "THIRD PLACE" Brad envisioned his cafe as a lively community hub and coworking space. But it's been a challenge to organically attract groups and events beyond occasional one-off gatherings. "I wanted my coffee shop to be a space where people would meet up." "I thought if you build it, they would come at least for that aspect, 'cause when have you seen a cafe with like not, they don't have a ton of people sitting there working." "I actually paid for, I don't know if you realize this, but I put in all those plugs in the back." While Brad's vision of a bustling community hub has not fully materialized yet, he remains committed to promoting his shop as welcoming gathering space open to all. -- USING SUBTLE CUES TO SHIFT CUSTOMER HABITS Brad uses behavioral design strategies like defaults, rewards, and terminology to subtly shift customer habits towards sustainability. "By asking someone, Oh, can I make that for here? You know, you want to go to stay, you know, most people, most coffee shops default to a to go cup." "We write your name on it. So we had, 'cause you don't always remember the name, but what's, you have a punch card, don't you? What is it under? Oh yeah, Tony." "I try to train my staff like this is what makes us different. This is part of our brand." Drawing on behavior change principles, Brad creatively institutes systems to encourage sustainable choices. Small tweaks can spur wider ripples of impact.

10. 

    22 Nov 2023

    Bringing people together through playful connection, plus finding your weirdos with Stefano Sacchi of Epic Llama

    Stefano Sacchi, founder of Epic Llama, designs playful experiences to inspire human connections. Stefano has dedicated his work to creating inclusive spaces that break down barriers and allow people to authentically interact. I was struck by his belief in the duty creatives have to put themselves out there, shine their unique light, and inspire others. Stefano embodies the spirit of building community by bringing people together for meaningful shared experiences. Catch the interview by searching Belongfulness on YouTube or your favorite podcasting platform. -- ESTABLISHING THE BREAKING BERLIN MEETUP Upon his arrival in Berlin, Stefano took the initiative to form Breaking Berlin. His goal was to gather individuals who embraced their uniqueness and thrived on creativity. Through a series of social experiments and enjoyable events scattered across the city, Stefano aimed to draw in like-minded souls he was eager to engage with. "It was my need really to, my desire to just find... the weirdos that I belong to." Stefano saw Breaking Berlin as a funnel for friendships. He started with small experiments like laughing chains on the subway, and it grew into a consistent Meetup with waiting lists. -- IMPORTANCE OF FACILITATION AND HOSTING Stefano believes high-quality facilitation and hosting transforms mediocre events into wonderful ones. He loves when gatherings have a dedicated host who welcomes guests, explains the schedule, and facilitates activities and connections. "All those things are beautiful little facilitation tricks, hosting tricks that can really, really make any gathering, any gathering from mediocre to wonderful, from boring to brilliant." "If you put effort into hosting and organizing and designing in the space, you should absolutely be paid for your efforts." Stefano says hosts who put time into thoughtful organizing and design deserve to be paid. He aims to facilitate events slowly, opening people up level-by-level like they're his best friends. This warm, welcoming energy makes his events feel friendly rather than formal. -- Full recap and video on our site: http://belongfulness.com (http://belongfulness.com)

11. 

    6 Nov 2023

    Street therapy, immersive art installations, and post-its in the subway station with Matt Chavez

    Matt Chavez is co-founder of Listening Lab, a project aimed at encouraging community interactions and sharing of personal stories through mixed-media installations. He's perhaps best known for Subway Therapy, an immersive public art project initiated in the aftermath of the 2016 U.S. presidential election. Public Participation: The project featured 2,000+ anonymous sticky notes posted by commuters on the walls of NYC's Union Square subway station. After arriving in NYC, he started a project called New York Secret Keeper—where strangers could stop by and tell Matt a secret. When one person suggested that the experience felt like therapy, he ran with it—thus was born Subway Therapy. He played the role of a street therapist, using it as a way to go out in public and have meaningful conversations with passersby. Then, when the election of 2016 came, he knew there were a lot of strong feelings moving around—and sitting outside to just talk to a handful of people just didn't seem to cut it. Instead, he brought out sticky notes and other art materials and let people just write down their feelings. Before he knew it, he had a subway wall full of post-its. "We have all this technology... all these practices to help people get along, and yet there are all these people who feel like they don't have anyone to talk to, who don't feel they are seen or heard." In one case, a guy on his way to work stopped to ask for help finding a proper therapist to help him with his relationship issues. How did he end up in a place where he felt he had to resort to that? Prompting people in public with a creative invitation interrupts the daily script. It invites curiosity and, ultimately, participation. "I love people giving themselves permission to participate in something that's meaningful to them." When someone sees a collective art exhibit on a subway wall, and they realize they can add to it—and nobody has to tell them they can—it unlocks something in their minds that I think is valuable. What else, one might wonder, could I give myself permission to do? Links & Recommendations Watch the full video interview here: Matt Chavez (https://www.mattchavez.com/) Art Plus People (https://www.artpluspeople.com/projects) Listening Lab NYC (https://www.listeninglab.nyc/) Subway Therapy (https://www.subwaytherapy.com/artinaction) 2023 Marketplace of the Future (https://www.marketplaceofthefuture.com/) Matt Chavez (@maybemattchavez) | TikTok (https://www.tiktok.com/@maybemattchavez) Chicken cacciatore polenta hunter's stew (https://search.brave.com/search?q=chicken+cacciatore+polenta+hunter%27s+stew&source=web)

12. 

    12 Sept 2023

    Storytelling our way to deeper connections with Rachel Saslaw of StoryTell NYC

    Once upon a time... I interviewed Rachel Saslaw, founder of StoryTell NYC. Rachel started StoryTell as a way to cultivate more meaningful connections and vulnerability through personal storytelling. She shared insights on how to build community, the role of traditions, and balancing in-person and virtual events. Our conversation explored how we can foster deeper human connections amid the isolation of modern life. Rachel offered wisdom on bringing people together through food, technology-free gatherings, and intimate in-person events centered on storytelling. Get the full recap: https://belongfulness.com/storytelling-our-way-to-deeper-connections-with-rachel-saslaw-of-storytell-nyc Watch the video of this interview: https://youtube.com/live/mEzLheTwK-s -- DEMOCRATIZING STORYTELLING Rachel discussed how she started StoryTell NYC as a way to foster more meaningful connections in her life. She and her co-founder began hosting these monthly gatherings for people to share personal stories related to a theme, which helps create a sense of openness. "It's such a meaningful event because it was something that I was lacking in my own life in terms of these intentional relationships, these intentional moments of connecting with people beyond the surface level of kind of reporting backwards in your life. You know, 'how's friends, how's family, how's work, let's get the check.'" Rachel explained how the intimate event format, with storytellers sitting in a circle on the floor, encourages people to open up beyond the usual pleasantries. She strives to make StoryTell an inclusive experience where anyone can participate in storytelling, not just pre-planned performers. "What differs it from the Moth or Risk, for example, is that we don't have any predetermined keynote speakers or having one hero storyteller... anyone in the audience can participate. We really try to democratize storytelling. The stories of somebody that is public speaking for the first time in their entire life or sharing a story that they've never told out loud... we all get so much value out of that. And there's this deeper level of vulnerability that comes out in these moments which you can't capture if you're really thinking about the structure of a story and the arc and the apex. " Rachel believes there is value in embracing beginner storytellers just as much as polished ones. THE ANNUAL BIRTHDAY PIE COMPETITION Every year for her birthday, Rachel hosts a pie competition where friends and family bake pies and share them together: "Everyone comes with a baked pie to a venue. There are three categories that you could submit into. Best sweet, best savory, and most unique. And people go to great lengths to advertise their pie. So some people dress up like their pie. Some people make up really cool names. Some people rap about their pie. It's pretty amazing. So all the pies are on display and then one by one the pies are introduced and everyone gets a bite of each of them and as a room we're all kind of judges of each other's pies." She described how everyone dresses up according to their pie theme, tries each other's creations, and votes on favorites. Making this an annual birthday tradition has an extra benefit as well: "It's now my birthday party because it's nice to just have something consistent and not have to worry about what I'm doing for my birthday every year." She also reminisced about her dad compiling a recipe book for her birthday with all her favorite dishes he cooks, along with pictures of her enjoying the food growing up. Though Rachel doesn't come from a long lineage of family recipes, she can still carry on food traditions with her father by learning to make the meals he perfected for her childhood. What a treasured heirloom this recipe book can become with time! -- Rachel continues to nurture StoryTell as a source of belonging in her life while making small optimizations. She's confident in her desire *not* to scale it!

13. 

    21 Aug 2023

    Celebrating culture by making dumplings together with Lenny An of Dumpling Discussions

    What better way to bring people together than dumplings? Lenny An's Dumpling Discussions give people a simple invitation—come enjoy fabulous dumplings!—while also offering something deeper: an opportunity to have conversations about potentially challenging topics. From an Instagram post inviting folks to his next event: I’ve always wanted to create a space for people to talk candidly and honestly about topics that may be hard to approach. What better way to do this than alongside one of my favorite activities, dumpling making?! The evening will be a combo cooking class and intimate evening of discussions." I love this for several reasons: people aren't just eating the dumplings, they're making them together. The food is a way of bringing people together and creating an intentional container for a substantive discussion. And the proceeds to go charities that are personally important to Lenny. From small gathering conversations to preserving legacy businesses, Lenny is driven by a sense of cultural pride, a spirit of openness, and a simple appreciation for tasty carbs. His reflections reveal how food traditions and games can strengthen social bonds across communities. Lenny teaches us that a little openness goes a long way when it comes to cross-cultural understanding. Get the full recap here: https://belongfulness.com/celebrating-culture-by-making-dumplings-together-with-lenny-an-of-dumpling-discussions (https://belongfulness.com/celebrating-culture-by-making-dumplings-together-with-lenny-an-of-dumpling-discussions) -- DUMPLINGS BRING PEOPLE TOGETHER In the podcast, Lenny shares how dumplings have been a lifelong passion for him. He says, "Dumplings were always a thing that I ate, not a thing I did" while growing up. But in college, Lenny started hosting dumpling-making gatherings for his friends as a fun activity where everyone could learn together. Now in New York, Lenny continues to share his love of dumplings through Dumpling Discussions, using dumpling-making as a unique form of team bonding and community building. "People come hang out, they tell me they have a good time, they share the work, they learn something about the culture, they learn something about themselves." Lenny opened up about how moving to New York helped him embrace his cultural background more fully, especially being around other Asian and Chinese communities for the first time. Lenny discusses his pride in his heritage and wanting to celebrate it more openly: "Hell yeah, I'm Chinese. I want to celebrate that, and I want to share that with people now." -- SUPPORTING LOCAL ORGANIZATIONS This program would already be great if that's where it stopped. But it goes a step further: the proceeds all go to organizations about which Lenny harbors a personal passion. The conversation touched on groups like Send Chinatown Love that work to support businesses in Chinatown, especially during the pandemic. Lenny highlighted little-known spots in Chinatown with fascinating histories, like the only store that still hand-makes mahjong tiles. Lenny also volunteers with Heart of Dinner, delivering meals to elderly Asian families in need. Even short conversations of a few seconds brighten up their day. -- YOU CAN'T GO WRONG WITH CARBS The overarching theme is using food, culture, and conversation as vehicles to foster community and bring people together. As Lenny says "It's the easiest way to get people to do things, or hang out, 'cause like, no one's gonna say, "No, I hate dumplings." I've never met a person that says that." Lenny aims to create welcoming spaces for people to engage across cultures and connect more deeply through activities like dumpling-making. His passion comes through in small gatherings as well as in supporting Chinatown businesses and organizations. -- Learn more: http://belongfulness.com (http://belongfulness.com ) http://instagram.com/belongfulness (http://instagram.com/belongfulness) http://twitter.com/belongfulness (http://twitter.com/belongfulness) http://linkedin.com/company/belongfulness (http://linkedin.com/company/belongfulness) http://youtube.com/@belongfulness (http://youtube.com/@belongfulness)

14. 

    25 Jul 2023

    Giant swing sets and the queso dip recipe that can save the world with Meghan Talarowski of Studio Ludo

    "If we can play together, maybe we can talk about the harder stuff too." Meghan Talarowski of Studio Ludo With her nonprofit studio, Meghan designs playgrounds, studies play behavior, and advocates for public play spaces—which makes her the perfect person to work on North America's largest swing set. 📕 Read the full recap here: https://belongfulness.com/giant-swing-sets-your-three-hidden-sense-and-the-queso-dip-recipe-that-can-save-the-world-with-meghan-talarowski-of-studio-ludo 🎧 Get the podcast audio here: https://pod.link/1534202027/episode/9eb47c8d40409f1109cd88eb5d31765e -- SWINGS & PLAYGROUNDS ARE MORE THAN FUN Meghan shares research showing swings are the most popular play equipment for all ages because the calming linear motion is good for our vestibular and proprioceptive systems. Swinging feels good and is scientifically calming for our stress response. -- THE IMPORTANCE OF PLAY Meghan explains that play activates different senses beyond the typical five, including proprioceptive, vestibular, and interoceptive senses. These relate to how we sense our body's position, motion, and internal feelings. Play stimulates these senses, keeping us socially engaged and helping our brains stay flexible. -- QUESO DIP Meghan shares a favorite "unhealthy" recipe that exemplifies building community through shared food experiences. Her husband created a smoked queso dip with smoked meat that was a major hit at their neighborhood block party. Could swings & queso dip help solve the world's problems? Learn more in the full interview! -- Learn more about our quest to find the best and easiest ways you can reconnect to yourself and the world around you: ⁠http://belongfulness.com⁠ (http://belongfulness.com)⁠ (http://instagram.com/belongfulness) http://instagram.com/belongfulness⁠ (http://instagram.com/belongfulness)⁠ (http://youtube.com/@belongfulness) http://youtube.com/@belongfulness (http://youtube.com/@belongfulness) http://twitter.com/belongfulness⁠⁠ (http://twitter.com/belongfulness⁠⁠⁠⁠)

15. 

    20 Jul 2023

    Recalibrating your connection to yourself plus Survivor Nights with Jacey Adler of Recalibrate

    I met Jacey at an event hosted by David Nebinski, as he recorded a live episode for his Portfolio Career Podcast (https://www.davidnebinski.com/portfolio/portfolio-career-podcast). After I learned of her own show, Recalibrate (https://recalibratepodcast.com/), and some of her personal stories of finding community and belonging, I knew I had to record a conversation with her. Watch the full interview on YouTube here (https://youtube.com/live/H3Jj03W8Wkw?feature=share). THE PANDEMIC IS STILL AFFECTING US This is a sentiment I continue to see coming up for folks: "I know that period of quarantine and isolation was a couple of years ago now, but it still feels like it created this imprint in people's lives that hasn't fully shifted out. Like I think it created this fundamental change for people." "I think being in a remote work environment for the last three years and also seeing social media, it creates this environment where you feel like you are always connected but you're also never really connected." We developed some bad habits during quarantine. Some of us haven't un-done them yet! WORKING FROM HOME IS GREAT UNTIL IT'S NOT I started working from home in 2006, so Jacey's story was painfully familiar: "I've been working remotely since October 2020. Initially, I loved it. I could work in my pajamas and accomplish so much during the day. But over the past few months, I've developed a sense of isolation, spending too much time alone with my thoughts. Sometimes, I don't talk to a real person all day. This isolation has taken a toll on my mental health, leading to increased anxiety and symptoms of depression. When you're alone so often, you can develop an inflated sense of self, becoming ungrounded from the everyday world. Without those micro-interactions with people, you can forget that the outside world exists. This can lead to a loss of a sense of community." Getting out of the house to be around other people is critical to maintaining your connection to humanity and reality. But where to go? FINDING THE ELUSIVE THIRD PLACE By coincidence, Jacey and I grew up in the same town—so I was curious to know how our experiences overlapped and how they differed. It turns out, she was missing that community space much like I was. Fast forward to pandemic time, when she found a beautiful (but sadly short-lived) space: "There's this place in Brooklyn that I used to go to all the time called Kava Social... it turned into this community spot where people would just cowork there all day. They had art supplies, they had board games, they had you know these people that are working on their businesses or their passion projects—the people that it attracted were amazing, and we would joke like people lived there because they were always there. There was always the same people there, everyone knew each other and that type of space was amazing. If I felt like I didn't know where to go when I was done with work, and I didn't have plans, I would just go there and I knew I would see a friendly face. I knew someone would be there to talk to." -- Learn more about Survivor watch parties in the full recap. (https://belongfulness.com/recalibrating-your-connection-to-yourself-plus-survivor-nights-with-jacey-adler-of-recalibrate) -- Learn more about our quest to find the best and easiest ways you can reconnect to yourself and the world around you: ⁠http://belongfulness.com (http://belongfulness.com) ⁠ (http://belongfulness.com)⁠https://twitter.com/belongfulness⁠ (https://twitter.com/belongfulness) ⁠https://instagram.com/belongfulness⁠ (https://instagram.com/belongfulness)⁠ (https://linkedin.com/company/belongfulness) https://linkedin.com/company/belongfulness⁠ (https://linkedin.com/company/belongfulness)⁠ (https://tiktok.com/@belongfulness) https://tiktok.com/@belongfulness⁠ (https://tiktok.com/@belongfulness)

16. 

    12 Jul 2023

    Volunteering for introverts + why your town needs its own mushroom festival with RuthAnn Deveney

    RuthAnn had been living in Kennett Square, PA for seven years before she started finding real connection to the town around her. It started with her church, where she learned of volunteer opportunities in the area. That led to her working at the library, where she could restock books in peace—and, over time, get to know both the staff and the patrons. RuthAnn's tricks for remembering names: Repeat their name back to them after they say it Ask them about one thing they're really into After your conversation, repeat their name and that one thing back to yourself. Example: "Tony loves karaoke." She learned about all the creative and valuable programming the library was hosting, the constraints it dealt with in terms of resources and space, even the controversies about how different kinds of people made use of the free computer stations. Eventually, she ended up on the library's board, where she learned even more about the role the library plays in the town and the dynamics around its direction. The best part? RuthAnn is an avowed introvert. Feeling connected to your neighborhood doesn't have to mean being super social—you could find the most un-social volunteering opportunity imaginable, and end up more involved and connected to your neighborhood than you ever would have expected otherwise. Watch the full video interview here (https://youtube.com/live/RJrFdmgg-xs). Embracing a town's identity - especially when it's mushrooms Kennett Square has a rich history of producing the majority of the country's mushrooms—and they're not afraid to celebrate it. Each fall, they host a mushroom festival—by far the biggest event of the year. RuthAnn pointed out that this served as far more than a whimsical diversion—it helped the town develop an identity for itself. Residents have a shared understanding of what their town is about—a shared pride, shared memories—the annual mushroom festival is the big moment for the town. Compare this to any town or city that *doesn't* have its own equivalent of a mushroom festival: do their residents feel quite the same level of loyalty, affiliation, affection for their home town? The urban planning takeaway: if your town lacks a clear identity, look to its history and play with opportunities to celebrate it. Recommendations Book: Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkemann (find it at your library (https://worldcat.org/en/title/1182580330)) (buy it on Bookshelf (https://bookshop.org/a/14633/9780374159122)) Book: Harry's Trees by Jon Cohen (find it at your library (https://www.worldcat.org/title/1030234869)) (buy it on Bookshelf (https://bookshop.org/a/14633/9780778308829)) Book: This is Where You Belong by Melody Warnick (find it at your library (https://www.worldcat.org/title/951477751)) (buy it on Bookshelf (https://bookshop.org/a/14633/9780143129660)) Recipe: Baked farro with summer vegetables from Smitten Kitchen (https://smittenkitchen.com/2021/08/baked-farro-with-summer-vegetables/) Belongfulness links http://belongfulness.com (http://belongfulness.com) https://twitter.com/belongfulness (https://twitter.com/belongfulness) https://instagram.com/belongfulness (https://instagram.com/belongfulness) https://linkedin.com/company/belongfulness (https://linkedin.com/company/belongfulness) https://tiktok.com/@belongfulness (https://tiktok.com/@belongfulness)

17. 

    1 Oct 2020

    Dr. Josh Packard of Springtide Research

    "We believe no young person should have to answer life’s important questions alone." Dr. Josh Packard is the Executive Director of Springtide Research, which has produced some important research into belonging among 13-to-25-year-olds. Springtide: https://springtideresearch.org (https://springtideresearch.org ) More on Josh Packard: https://twitter.com/drjoshpackard (https://twitter.com/drjoshpackard ) Book: Belonging: Reconnecting America’s loneliest generation https://springtideresearch.org/product/belonging-reconnecting-americas-loneliest-generation -- 👨👩👧 YOUTH NEED TRUSTED ADULTS The need for trusted adults in the lives of young people—(13 to 25)—is as important as ever. Their trust in adults and their institutions, however, is cratering at an alarming rate. This is happening across sectors, as well—from religion to government to health care to education and more. According to Josh, to truly address the issues, we need to approach the issue not as one to be fixed in the micro context of any one particular institution but as a systemic, sociological one. 👀 PEOPLE NEED TO FEEL SEEN I'm interested in big picture challenges, but only if it helps us understand what you can do, right now, today, within your own organization or community. For this, Josh has a construct he calls "Notice, Name, Know." His organization's research kept coming back to a sentiment that people don't trust organizations because they don't feel like anyone knows them or cares about them. When an organization relies too much on broadcasting on communications and gatherings that don't facilitate real connection, people are likely to end up feeling forgotten. The antidote? Find specific ways to show people that you do see them, you do care about them, and you do value what they think and need. You might be able do this by adding some very simple facilitated activities to your existing event programming. (For help with that, reach out to me to learn more about my strategy services! Links are below.) You might also make progress by assessing the members of your community and identifying the ones most in need of re-engagement. 🔍 FOCUS ON THE MARGINS "If you really want to stem the tide of loneliness, you want to focus on the folks on the margins. Go to those young people who have zero or one connection. If you focus on the edges, that builds a firewall that goes along the margins and works its way back to the group." While much progress can be made focusing on the "super-members" who are most actively engaged in a given community, Josh recommends looking to those on the margins—the people who have zero-to-one connections. The ones less engaged. While reaching them might be harder, the ones you're able to sit with can give you rich insight into a perspective on how to create opportunities for many others. As a leader, if you go straight to the people who are the least likely to feel you care about them, and show them just how much you truly see them and care about their needs, you can lay a critical firewall of trust that will echo throughout the rest of your community. -- 👋 HEY THERE! I'M TONY. I'm on a mission to show people the best and easiest ways each of us can cure the world's epidemic of loneliness. Follow my journey to learn about the resources I'm creating: http://tonybacigalupo.com http://twitter.com/tonybgoode http://instagram.com/tonybgoode

18. 

    30 Sept 2020

    Kat Vellos of We Should Get Together

    Kat is rad! She's got an incredible perspective to share on how to foster real friendships. Check out her site and book: http://weshouldgettogether.com Learn more about my work to help people find and foster belonging everywhere: http://tonybacigalupo.com

Who has been a guest on Belongfulness: The creative ways people are building community and re-weaving our social fabric

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