5 Apr 2025
Trump Put Tariffs on Penguins & Now JPMorgan is Predicting a Recession, So That Sucks
Here's what happened on April 4, 2025:
So quick update on Trump’s tariffs we spoke about yesterday. Turns out when I said they were on every country, I misspoke - they’re on every country EXCEPT Russia, North Korea, Belarus, and Cuba. They’re even on the McDonald Islands, which is solely inhabited by penguins. Even the PENGUINS got higher tariffs than Russia did!
Apple has added 8 new emojis to the newest update, including a tired face, a fingerprint, a purple splat, a shovel, an old spooky dead tree, a harp, a radish, and a flag of Sark, which is a self-governing island in the Channel Islands
Robert Irwin - son of crocodile and snake person Steve Irwin - has entered the modeling game for an underwear brand called Bonds and let me tell you this guy is RIPPED. Good for him.
Hungarian Prime Minister Viktor Orban has announced that Hungary will withdraw from the ICC so he’s able to host Israeli Prime Minister Bibi Netanyahu without having to arrest him for entering the country. As a reminder, the ICC has an arrest warrant out for Netanyahu over allegations of Israel committing war crimes in Gaza
New Hampshire Democratic Congressman Chris Pappas announced his run for Senate to replace outgoing Democratic Senator Jeanne Shaheen.
New York Democratic Mayor Eric Adams has decided that he’s going to skip the Democratic primary for the seat and instead run for re-election as an independent candidate.
Subway has revealed a new footlong menu item: Doritos Footlong Nachos
Australia has banned social media for kids under 16 years old - this will start December 10 and will impact platforms such as Snapchat, TikTok, Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. This law is the first of its kind in the world
Kesha has announced her Tits Out Tour for this summer, with Scissor Sisters, Slayyyter, and Rose Gray.
The Pentagon’s acting inspector general announced that they’re now investigating Pete Hegseth’s use of a Signal chat for the Yemen bombing attack plans
Disney’s live-action remake of “Tangled” has been paused after an underwhelming response to the live-action remake of Snow White with Rachel Zeigler.
The 2025 VMAs are being broadcast by CBS for the first ever, instead of being broadcast by MTV.
The Dow dropped more than 1600 points today due to Trump’s tariffs, marking the biggest wipeout of the stock market since 2020 and the first time ever that the Dow dropped more than 1500 points on back-to-back days. The NASDAQ is down 20% since Trump took office and he’s out golfing today, yet again. Make America Great Again, amirite
Russell Brand has been charged with rape, indecent assault, and sexual assault by London’s Metropolitan Police. According to Variety, the charges relate to four separate women and incidents that took place between 1999 and 2005.
The Democratic Party has launched what they’re calling “The People’s Cabinet” in order to counter messaging from the White House and Republicans.
JPMorgan has officially stated that they predict a recession in 2025 so that sucks, and Federal Reserve Chair Jerome Powell says that Trump’s tariffs will likely raise inflation and slow US economic growth, womp womp
In a 2-1 decision, the North Carolina Court of Appeals has sided with the Republican who lost by 700something votes, ordering the State Board of Elections to recount the votes of 65,000.
Eminem has welcomed his first grandchild
Duke freshman men’s basketball player Cooper Flagg has been named AP Player of the Year
Kombucha girl influencer and comedian Brittany Broski has released her debut original song, “The Sun”
Ed Sheeran has released his new single, “Azizam” from his upcoming album “Play”
Trump announced an additional 75 day delay in the TikTok ban, saying that the deal “requires more work” - the new deadline is now June 19.
The US Supreme Court has approved Trump’s freezing of millions of dollars in grants used to address teacher shortages in poor and rural areas.
FKA Twigs cancelled her North America tour over visa issues
