Beyond the Facade explores authenticity, healing, and recovery from betrayal trauma, sexual addiction, and infidelity. Host Luke Gordon, cofounder of Choose Recovery Services, and his guests share tools for addiction recovery, relationship repair, and emotional healing. Learn to rebuild trust, live with integrity, and create authentic connections as you heal from pain and go Beyond the Facade.
Beyond the Facade with Choose Recovery Services
Claim This Podcastby Luke Gordon with Choose Recovery Services
5.0(15 reviews)
99 episodes
Updated Daily
Accepts GuestsHas SponsorsLocation 🇺🇸
51
Podcast Authority
BetaFairBased on show quality, social media presence, reviews, charts, and more
Quality81
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Engagement51
Podcast Overview
Beyond the Facade explores authenticity, healing, and recovery from betrayal trauma, sexual addiction, and infidelity. Host Luke Gordon, cofounder of Choose Recovery Services, and his guests share tools for addiction recovery, relationship repair, and emotional healing. Learn to rebuild trust, live with integrity, and create authentic connections as you heal from pain and go Beyond the Facade.
Language
🇺🇲
Publishing Since
4/22/2024
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Recent Episodes
May 28, 2026
98: Are All CSAT Therapists the Same? What Actually Matters in Addiction Recovery - with Jacob Fletcher
<p>What actually makes a good CSAT therapist?</p><p>In this episode, Luke Gordon and <a href="https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/team-bios/#JacobFletcher"><u>Jacob Fletcher</u></a> (CSAT and fellow Choose Recovery Services coach), unpack the major differences between recovery approaches in pornography addiction and compulsive sexual behavior treatment.</p><p>Many people spend years in recovery focused only on behavior and sobriety — yet still feel emotionally disconnected, ashamed, and unable to build intimacy.</p><p><strong>This conversation explores:</strong></p><ul><li><p>Behavior-focused vs trauma-focused therapy</p></li><li><p>Why emotional regulation matters</p></li><li><p>The role of attachment wounds and shame</p></li><li><p>How relapse should actually be approached</p></li><li><p>Questions to ask when choosing a therapist</p></li></ul><p>If you’ve struggled to feel real transformation in recovery, this episode may help you understand why.</p><p><strong>Chapters</strong></p><ul><li><p>02:04 Meet Jacob Fletcher</p></li><li><p>04:27 Different CSAT Styles</p></li><li><p>07:31 Behavior vs Somatic</p></li><li><p>09:44 Questions to Ask</p></li><li><p>14:32 Relapse Approach</p></li><li><p>18:29 Dopamine Reset</p></li><li><p>21:46 Balancing Both Models</p></li></ul><p><strong>Watch the episode on YouTube</strong><a href="https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLUM7hsOcaM_ivpf9PVocYKO_pKo4LVs14"><strong> </strong><u></u><strong>HERE</strong></a></p><p><strong>Register Now!</strong></p><ul><li><p><strong>***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***</strong></p></li><li><p>🌴<strong>NEW: </strong><a href="https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/rise-and-renew-couples-retreat/"><strong>Couples Retreat in Costa Rica! </strong></a><strong>- </strong>If you are in a stable place in your relationship and want to reconnect, regulate, and rediscover each other, we invite you to our couples breathwork retreat. <strong>Register by May 31st to get our early-bird pricing - $600 OFF!</strong></p></li><li><p><a href="https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/courage-to-thrive-betrayal-trauma-intensive/"><u>Courage to Thrive</u></a> - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. </p></li><li><p><a href="https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/making-sense-of-his-behavior/"><u>Making Sense of His Behavior </u></a>- NEW 8-week group designed for anyone who is trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship. Start the group at any time and stay for eight weeks.</p></li></ul><p>Get our FREE eBook - <a href="https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/betrayal-trauma-guide/"><u>Healing From Betrayal Trauma: A Compassionate Guide to Reclaiming Your Life</u></a></p><p><br></p><ul><li><p>💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. <a href="https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/intensive-scholarship/"><u>Scholarships</u></a> and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. </p></li></ul><p><strong>Connect With Us:</strong></p><ul><li><p>Learn more about Luke <a href="https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/team/#LukeGordon"><u>here</u></a>. </p></li><li><p>Schedule a complimentary consultation <a href="https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/home/complimentary-session/"><u>here</u></a>.</p></li><li><p>Don’t miss an episode! <a href="https://lp.constantcontactpages.com/sl/yyW1MdD"><u>Join our email list</u></a> and get notified when new episodes air! </p></li><li><p>Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services </p></li></ul><p><strong>Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:</strong></p><ul><li><p><a href="https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/beyond-the-facade-group/"><u>Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group</u></a> - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.</p></li><li><p><a href="https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/help-her-heal/"><u>Help. Her. Heal</u></a> - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. </p></li></ul><p><strong>Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:</strong></p><ul><li><p><a href="https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/intensives/"><u>Intensives</u></a> - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.</p></li><li><p><a href="https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/road-to-recovery/"><u>Road to Recovery Webinar</u></a> - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. </p></li><li><p><a href="https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/choosetobe"><u>Choose To Be Podcast</u></a> - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.</p></li></ul><ul><li><p><a href="https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/choose-betrayal-trauma-healing-for-women/"><u>Choose Healing</u></a> - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. </p></li></ul><p><strong>Learn more and register for courses at </strong><a href="http://chooserecoveryservices.com"><strong>chooserecoveryservices.com</strong></a></p><p><br></p>
May 21, 2026
97: How to Stay Connected to Your Kids After Betrayal
<p>When betrayal enters a family, children often carry invisible pain. This week Luke joins Amie and Alana on their podcast (<a href="https://creators.spotify.com/pod/profile/choosetobe/">Choose To Be</a>) to talk about his personal experience with how to repair after betrayal.</p><p>Listen in as he shares what his experience was like trying to reconnect with his children and rebuild trust.</p><p>Listen to learn:</p><ul><li><p>Why kids react strongly (and sometimes unexpectedly)</p></li><li><p>How betrayal trauma affects attachment and trust</p></li><li><p>What parents can do to rebuild safety and connection</p></li><li><p>The difference between supporting vs. overwhelming your child</p></li></ul><p>If you want to learn more about helping children and teens heal after betrayal, listen to more episodes about this topic on the Choose To Be podcast: <a href="https://spotifycreators-web.app.link/e/b2SzUtl6j2b"><u>Part 1,</u></a> <a href="https://spotifycreators-web.app.link/e/Pnscqtl6j2b"><u>Part 2</u></a>, and <a href="https://spotifycreators-web.app.link/e/BvqGFoW6j2b"><u>Part 3</u></a>. </p><p>Want a podcast dedicated to helping teens and children with betrayal? Tune in to Morgan Ellsworth’s podcast: <a href="https://open.spotify.com/show/2h4QsaGOHYcDZqlsPPUGdk"><u>Healing Betrayed Families</u></a><strong></strong></p><p><strong>Chapters:</strong></p><ul><li><p>04:11 Staying Grounded </p></li><li><p>09:43 Attunement and Vulnerability Goals</p></li><li><p>13:20 Vulnerability Without Dumping</p></li><li><p>19:01 Make It About the Kids</p></li><li><p>23:07 When Kids Blame Mom</p></li><li><p>27:31 Attachment and Love Bombing</p></li><li><p>31:27 Validate Kids’ Reality</p></li><li><p>37:06 Keep Showing Up</p></li></ul><p><strong>Watch the episode on YouTube</strong><a href="https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLUM7hsOcaM_ivpf9PVocYKO_pKo4LVs14"><strong> </strong><u></u><strong>HERE</strong></a></p><p><strong>Register Now!</strong></p><ul><li><p><strong>***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***</strong></p></li><li><p>🌴<strong>NEW: </strong><a href="https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/rise-and-renew-couples-retreat/"><strong>Couples Retreat in Costa Rica! </strong></a><strong>- </strong>If you are in a stable place in your relationship and want to reconnect, regulate, and rediscover each other, we invite you to our couples breathwork retreat. <strong>Register by May 31st to get our early-bird pricing - $600 OFF!</strong></p></li><li><p><a href="https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/making-sense-of-his-behavior/"><u>Making Sense of His Behavior </u></a>- NEW 8-week group designed for anyone who is trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship. Start the group at any time and stay for eight weeks.</p></li></ul><p>Get our FREE eBook - <a href="https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/betrayal-trauma-guide/"><u>Healing From Betrayal Trauma: A Compassionate Guide to Reclaiming Your Life</u></a></p><p><br></p><ul><li><p>💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. <a href="https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/intensive-scholarship/"><u>Scholarships</u></a> and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. </p></li></ul><p><strong>Connect With Us:</strong></p><ul><li><p>Learn more about Luke <a href="https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/team/#LukeGordon"><u>here</u></a>. </p></li><li><p>Schedule a complimentary consultation <a href="https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/home/complimentary-session/"><u>here</u></a>.</p></li><li><p>Don’t miss an episode! <a href="https://lp.constantcontactpages.com/sl/yyW1MdD"><u>Join our email list</u></a> and get notified when new episodes air! </p></li><li><p>Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services </p></li></ul><p><strong>Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:</strong></p><ul><li><p><a href="https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/beyond-the-facade-group/"><u>Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group</u></a> - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.</p></li><li><p><a href="https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/help-her-heal/"><u>Help. Her. Heal</u></a> - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. </p></li></ul><p><strong>Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:</strong></p><ul><li><p><a href="https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/intensives/"><u>Intensives</u></a> - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.</p></li><li><p><a href="https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/road-to-recovery/"><u>Road to Recovery Webinar</u></a> - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. </p></li><li><p><a href="https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/choosetobe"><u>Choose To Be Podcast</u></a> - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.</p></li></ul><ul><li><p><a href="https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/choose-betrayal-trauma-healing-for-women/"><u>Choose Healing</u></a> - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. </p></li></ul><p><strong>Learn more and register for courses at </strong><a href="http://chooserecoveryservices.com"><strong>chooserecoveryservices.com</strong></a></p><p><br></p>
May 14, 2026
96: How to Spot an Emotionally Shut-Down Man
<p>What does an emotionally shut down man actually look like?</p><p>Spoiler: Usually not what people think.</p><p>In this powerful conversation, Luke and Alana explore the hidden reality of emotional shutdown in men—especially the high-performing, successful men who appear “fine” on the outside but are deeply disconnected on the inside.</p><p>From avoidant attachment to compulsive behavior, emotional numbness, and relational loneliness, this episode helps both men and betrayed partners understand what’s really happening beneath the surface.</p><p>Healing is possible. Deeper connection is possible.</p><p>But first—you have to feel.</p><p><strong>Chapters</strong></p><ul><li><p>02:08 What Being Emotionally Shut Down Looks Like</p></li><li><p>04:21 High Performing Shut down</p></li><li><p>09:33 Inside the Shutdown</p></li><li><p>12:59 Signs and Logic</p></li><li><p>17:14 Learning Emotional Safety</p></li><li><p>19:55 Tears and the Body</p></li><li><p>22:21 Busy vs Stillness</p></li><li><p>24:08 Chasing Intensity</p></li><li><p>29:53 Numbness and Dissociation</p></li><li><p>38:28 Individuation and Reconnection</p></li></ul><p><strong>Watch the episode on YouTube</strong><a href="https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLUM7hsOcaM_ivpf9PVocYKO_pKo4LVs14"><strong> </strong><u></u><strong>HERE</strong></a></p><p><strong>Register Now!</strong></p><ul><li><p><strong>***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***</strong></p></li><li><p>🌴<strong>NEW: </strong><a href="https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/rise-and-renew-couples-retreat/"><strong>Couples Retreat in Costa Rica! </strong></a><strong>- </strong>If you are in a stable place in your relationship and want to reconnect, regulate, and rediscover each other, we invite you to our couples breathwork retreat. <strong>Register by May 31st to get our early-bird pricing - $600 OFF!</strong></p></li><li><p>💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. <a href="https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/intensive-scholarship/"><u>Scholarships</u></a> and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. </p></li></ul><p><strong>Connect With Us:</strong></p><ul><li><p>Learn more about Luke <a href="https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/team/#LukeGordon"><u>here</u></a>. </p></li><li><p>Schedule a complimentary consultation <a href="https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/home/complimentary-session/"><u>here</u></a>.</p></li><li><p>Don’t miss an episode! <a href="https://lp.constantcontactpages.com/sl/yyW1MdD"><u>Join our email list</u></a> and get notified when new episodes air! </p></li><li><p>Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services </p></li></ul><p><strong>Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:</strong></p><ul><li><p><a href="https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/beyond-the-facade-group/"><u>Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group</u></a> - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.</p></li><li><p><a href="https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/help-her-heal/"><u>Help. Her. Heal</u></a> - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. </p></li></ul><p><strong>Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:</strong></p><ul><li><p><a href="https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/intensives/"><u>Intensives</u></a> - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.</p></li><li><p><a href="https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/road-to-recovery/"><u>Road to Recovery Webinar</u></a> - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. </p></li><li><p><a href="https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/choosetobe"><u>Choose To Be Podcast</u></a> - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.</p></li></ul><ul><li><p><a href="https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/choose-betrayal-trauma-healing-for-women/"><u>Choose Healing</u></a> - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. </p></li></ul><p><br><strong>Learn more and register for courses at </strong><a href="http://chooserecoveryservices.com"><strong>chooserecoveryservices.com</strong></a></p>
99 total episodes available
Recent guests on Beyond the Facade with Choose Recovery Services
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Stephen Thomas
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Alana Gordon
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Hope Ray
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Hali Roderick
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- What is Beyond the Facade with Choose Recovery Services?
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