2 books. 2 Emmys. 1 testicle. Need a hug? Join my fun little cult. A free column: often humorous, sometimes humiliating, always true. May contain dog hair. Plus creative workshops, Byrontology Brunch, and handmade Byronbooks. A Substack Bestseller.
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Five Years Married and Something Feels Off | Ep. 4
“Our marriage doesn’t feel like ones from TV or movies.”
Five years of marriage and something still doesn’t line up.
I thought I knew what this was supposed to feel like.
In this episode, I tell the story of:
* Meeting a man who was never boring.
* The moment I realized he was here to stay.
* How we built a life out of art, humor, and a gopher in the backyard.
This is a story about commitment, confusion, and what love actually feels like when it doesn’t follow the script.
Byrontology: Stories. You. Feel.
→ Read the full story, see pictures, get my free book at Byrontology.com
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17 Mar 2026
I Lost My Virginity to a TV Weatherman | Ep 3
"How do you know it was really love?"
A TV weatherman showed me sunny days and a broken heart.
I was 22, newly out of the closet, and convinced I had found something real. Until a storm cloud moved in.
In this episode, I tell the story of:
* the small-town weatherman who pulled me into my first real experience of being gay
* the moment everything broke
* and the one question from a child therapist that changed how I understand love, jealousy, and pain
This is a story about early love, self-deception, and what happens when you finally question your own feelings.
Byrontology helps overthinkers and the existentially exhausted feel less alone and find meaning in the absurd, the awful, and the everyday.
→ Get the full post, pictures, video, or visit the bookstore at Byrontology.com
Get full access to Byrontology at read.byrontology.com/subscribe (https://read.byrontology.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4)
25 Feb 2026
I Hate Calling It Depression | Ep 2
“I don’t want to do this.”
My mom had a heart attack. I flew home. I handled it.
I was steady. Capable. Useful.
Then I drove fifty-one hours back to California and fell apart.
That’s Byrontology.
We take a broken heart and make art.
The broken heart is sometimes rejection, jealousy, or despair.
The art is the response that brings us back home—a book, a movie, a walk, a conversation, a meaningful moment at Taco Bell.
Read, watch, spiral with me at Byrontology.com (http://www.byrontology.com).
Get full access to Byrontology at read.byrontology.com/subscribe (https://read.byrontology.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4)
5 Feb 2026
My Meeting With the Gay Devil | Ep 1
“The gay devil used to be inside me. Not in a fun way.”
I grew up Catholic, certain, and very afraid. Afraid of desire. Afraid of other people. Afraid of the part of myself I was taught was evil.
In this episode, I tell the story of:
* the leather daddy I laughed at from a car window
* the furious letter I wrote to a Jesuit priest in college
* and the slow, inevitable way time dismantles certainty
Byrontology helps overthinkers and the existentially exhausted feel less alone and find meaning in the absurd, the awful, and the everyday.
→ Get the full post, pictures, video, become pen pals or visit the bookstore at Byrontology.com (http://Byrontology.com)
Get full access to Byrontology at read.byrontology.com/subscribe (https://read.byrontology.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4)
19 Jan 2026
Introducing Byrontology—The Podcast
Episode 0: Introducing Byrontology—The Podcast
“Take your broken heart and go make art.”
That was the advice Carrie Fisher gave me years ago. I’ve used it to survive everything from being her assistant to surviving “ball cancer” to navigating the rejection of a novel that didn’t sell.
Byrontology is the result of that practice. It’s a podcast, a newsletter, and a community for overthinkers and the existentially exhausted—disguised as a cult. The cult part is satire. The help is real. If you get it, you can stay.
In this introductory episode, I explain:
* Why I’m ditching the pity party for a playground.
* The literal “Emmy Awards vs. Testicle” ratio of my life.
* How we use a tiny flashlight to find meaning in the absurd, the awful, and the everyday.
This podcast is only part of it. The good stuff is at the mother ship. Find the secret handshake and more at www.Byrontology.com.
Get full access to Byrontology at read.byrontology.com/subscribe (https://read.byrontology.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4)
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