Welcome to the shits... aka our lives! Listen to Izzy & P-H discuss their chronically online takes (some unhinged) and talk about the *many* ways that they have crumbled.. nay disintegrated under any form of pressure they've encountered. Occasionally interviewing guests too! To learn more and see what we're up to, check out our Instagram @cantperform !
Can't Perform EP10: Life updates and THE VOICE NOTE
Sooooo yeah my b about getting that podcast our last week, life kinda hit like a train running through a small village. This episode, our TENTH (wow!) is our longest yet and dare I say our funniest yet, mainly because of THE VOICE NOTE where P-H retells his 'date night.'
You're not gonna want to miss it. Minute 49 is where the fun begins but we're funny before then too I promise.
You know where to find us, @cantperform on IG
Next episode in two weeks or whenever we feel like it. DM us if you want it sooner :)
12 Jul 2024
Can't Perform EP9: We're biweekly now! + That time when Izzy almost drowned
Hello folks!! Sorry for not posting last week, we abruptly decided to make this podcast biweekly for the time being as we sort our hectic (yet boring) lives out.
Why are they hectic and boring? Well, we're not gonna tell you, you're just gonna have to listen. And pleaseeee send us in your explore pages or anything you find on the internets so we can react!! Love you!! K c u nxt wk!
Instagram @cantperform (https://www.instagram.com/cantperform/)
29 Jun 2024
Can't Perform EP8: Escaping a manipulative job, Failed bookstore meet-cute
Hellooooo wonderful people! YES we are one day late but fear not, for this is a juicy episode. P-H and Izzy catch y'all up on how their weeks went (busy!), the latest internet tea (scalding!), and last but not least they dive into some outrageous (and sad!) stories where they reveal how they once again crumbled under the pressure. So take it from me, the all-knowing-episode-description-writer, you don't want to miss episode 8 (wow i can't believe we made it this far)!
You know where to find us on social media, give us a follow if you haven't on Insta @cantperform (https://www.instagram.com/cantperform/) and don't forget to leave a review or rating on this app for YOUR FAVORITE SHOW ON THE INTERNET!!! Love u thx :)
See you next week!
Do y'all even read these episode descriptions? Be fr. ANYwho good morning or good whatever time whenever you listen to your favorite pod (we know it's true!) and wow, what a pod we have for you. We got the JUICIEST can't perform stories as Izzy tells all from her horrid acid trip in college and P-H goes into detail from his fateful night where he lost a ligament (rip). And the usual gossip from our lives / upstate new york so what are you waiting for? LISTEN RIGHT NOW u won't regret :)
Don't forget to follow along and send your explore pages via DM on Instagram here: @cantperform (https://www.instagram.com/cantperform/)
14 Jun 2024
Can't Perform EP6: Wrong turns in Rochester, A failed D3 athlete...
Gooooood morning peoples! We hope you are having an awesome day, seeing as that does not exist for us these days. Hahaweregoinginsanehaha just kidding!!1!1!! We were able to get special permission from the mental hospital to release Izzy for this episode so you'll want to hear what internet findings we discuss this week and of course the crown jewel: our crumbling under the pressure stories. Izzy's is a really hilarious recount of her trip to Rochester where she showed up to a HS prom and P-H talks through his HS tennis career and what could have been if he could have converted under the pressure.
If you like our show make sure to give us a rating and review, we will love you 5ever!! Also to keep up to date with us follow the page on Instagram @cantperform (https://www.instagram.com/cantperform/) !! See you next week!!!
7 Jun 2024
Can't Perform EP5: New Music Fridays, Lake George Bar Scaries
Good morning you wonderful peoples! Another episode of undoubtedly your favorite podcast is now here, ready to be consumed by your ears. Ngl, this episode feels pretty sane compared to the others but in a way we think you'll definitely enjoy. Hear us casually chat about our lives, discuss the new music we've been getting into, and your favorite part - relay the unmistakable crumbling-under-pressure events from our somehow interesting lives. Izzy goes into detail of a party she attended and fell asleep at while P-H recounts his first visit to the iconic (well, in a way) Lake George bars.
Send us your Instagram explore pages or any other tidbits via our DMs @cantperform (https://www.instagram.com/cantperform/) !!
See you next week!
31 May 2024
Can't Perform EP4: Summer in Saratoga, Don't mind the Buttlicker, Missing flights for a pint
Another day on this Earth, another day you get to hear some absolute goons talk about their not-so-interesting lives. What a time to be alive. We hope y'all are having an amazing day, because it's about to get better when you listen to this episode (You will thank your lucky stars you ain't us). There was a LOT discussed this week, ranging from Izzy recalling her SPAC experience and warning the public of the shootings that may happen during the Summer in 'toga, going in on that stupid-faced Chiefs kicker and his speech, and P-H detailing that time he missed a flight because he was too busy having a pint with this friends...
If you liked this episode, please remember to give a rating or a review, we'd appreciate it! If you have any funny stories or anything from the internet you want to share please DM us on Instagram @cantperform (https://www.instagram.com/cantperform/)! See y'all next week!!!
24 May 2024
Can't Perform EP3: NYC Portal Prediction, A College Stabbing, & Missing the Aurora
Gooooooooood morning wonderful humans, I hope this weekend is everything you ever wanted. As for us, we'll be locked into our 9-5s gathering more intel to spew back onto this pod... crazy how life works. This episode has it all, from Izzy predicting what shuts down the NYC Portal, recalling a birthday party in college that included a stabbing, and P-H being a sadboi about missing the Northern Lights in Glens Falls... while Izzy describes how amazing they were to see. Life is good, folx. Sometimes. If you have any stories where you also crumble under the pressure DM us on Instagram @cantperform (https://www.instagram.com/cantperform/), and remember to leave a review and rating so my mom can finally be proud of me. Until next week!
17 May 2024
Can't Perform EP2: Drake & Kendrick beef, The sauce attack, and more...
Hello you wonderful peeps! I hope this episode launches a great weekend for all of you, minus Drake, of course... Lol anyways we get into it on this pod featuring Izzy's sauce attack, more tidbits on Taylor Swift (it's gonna happen every episode), breaking down the current rap beef, and of course a couple of under pressure stories/moments from our lives. As ever, make sure to leave a rating so more wonderful people can enjoy our garbage mouth spew! Please please please email or DM us if you would like to share a story so we can talk about it on a future podcast, our Instagram is @cantperform (https://www.instagram.com/cantperform/). Until next week!
10 May 2024
Can't Perform EP1: Welcome to the Pod! Let's Yap
Welcome along to our first episode!! In this episode Izzy yaps about her dad's demeanor, the state of her TikTok and the Tana v Brittany Broski beef, and an embarrassing situation at home where she truly can't perform under the pressure. P-H is there too but honestly he only gets a few words in... he does weigh in on some drama and discusses how his hopes for living abroad were dashed after he too crumbled under the pressure. We hope you enjoy this episode and follow along for weekly episodes!! More info can be found on our Instagram @cantperform (https://www.instagram.com/cantperform/). Please leave a rating and review if possible, we'd really appreciate :)
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Apple Podcasts (US)
5.0 / 5
1 ratings
Spotify
5.0 / 5
4 ratings
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