About Cavernous Afterthoughts Podcast by Austin & Jason
Cavernous Afterthoughts is the chaotic, heartfelt, queer‑coded podcast from Austin and Jason — two best friends who turned a Halloween party meet‑cute, a Vegas trip, and a series of bad decisions into a full‑blown found family. Every episode blends comedy, honesty, drag‑show energy, emotional breakthroughs, and the kind of storytelling that makes you say, “Wait… same.”
Our merch celebrates all of it — the inside jokes, the unhinged one‑liners, the Backstreet Boys tears, the Vegas chaos, and the friendship that started it all. If you’ve ever cried at holograms, overshared at brunch, or made a questionable decision with someone you love, welcome to the cavern. You’re family now.
Episode 8: Good Christian Bitches (Don’t Kiss & Tell): Smash, Pass, or Podcast?
Bless our hearts, because this week Jason and Austin have absolutely no business being this honest.
Episode 8 starts with real talk about life, career changes, small wins, personal growth, and why having a best friend who will lovingly call you on your bullshit might be one of the best forms of therapy.
But don't worry, y'all. We don't stay wholesome for long.
The conversation takes a turn into friendships, questionable choices, dating and married-life chaos, gay culture, daddy energy, and the kind of stories good Christian bitches probably shouldn't kiss and tell about.
Then it's time for Smash, Pass, or Podcast?, where Jason and Austin put gay icons and celebrity crushes under the microscope and decide who gets a hard pass, who deserves a seat behind the microphone, and who might leave them making some very questionable decisions.
It's heartfelt. It's hilarious. It's inappropriate. And somehow, underneath all the foolishness, there's a little wisdom hiding in there too.
Because around here, we believe in radical honesty, chosen family, laughing at ourselves, and living life with just the right amount of chaos.
Welcome back to Cavernous Afterthoughts.
Good Christian bitches don't kiss and tell. We put it on a podcast.
1 Oct 2026
Episode 7: Bless Your Heart, AI & Other Things We Believed
AI is changing the way we work, communicate, interview, recruit, and apparently even get our feelings hurt. Austin and Jason dive into the weird new world of AI, from workplace expectations and privacy to resumes, recruiting, and the question of just how much AI is too much. Then they travel all the way back to childhood to revisit the completely ridiculous things they once believed were gospel. Add job-search frustrations, Trixie & Katya, San Francisco hookups, sex shops, and plenty of questionable life choices, and you've got another episode of Cavernous Afterthoughts where technology meets trauma—and nobody knows where the conversation is going next.
25 Sept 2026
Episode 6: Reflections, Reactions, and Real Life Chaos
Episode 6 opens with Jason and Austin reflecting on where they were on 9/11 — sharing personal memories, emotional reactions, and how that day shaped their early lives. After honoring the moment, the mood shifts into real‑life chaos: holiday‑week confusion, volunteering at a massive nationwide service event, Bay Area heat waves, job‑hunt updates, bridge phobias, karaoke delusions, and planning for Folsom and upcoming queer events. The episode wraps with their new segment “Awesome or Awful,” where they judge dating scenarios, red flags, and questionable behavior with brutal honesty and plenty of laughs.
12 Sept 2026
Episode 5: Labor Day Lust & Life Decisions
Austin and Jason dive into a Labor Day catch‑up that spirals from family transitions and moving plans to job‑hunt chaos, hookup surprises, and the eternal debate over safe words. With the brother‑in‑law finally moved out, dreams of escaping the sticks, and a fresh wave of life changes on the horizon, the boys unpack everything — the funny, the stressful, and the downright absurd.
From early‑morning dating‑app adventures to Drag Race loyalty tests, brunch opinions, and group‑chat mysteries, Episode 5 is peak Cavernous Afterthoughts: messy, honest, and full of the chaotic friendship energy listeners love
5 Sept 2026
Episode 4: The Gay Emergency Hotline (We're the Problem)
Episode 4: The Gay Emergency Hotline (We're the Problem) — where Austin and Jason have ten seconds to survive the most chaotic queer disasters imaginable. From 1:47 a.m. ex‑texts to brunch run‑ins, dating‑app betrayals, outfit meltdowns, blocked‑person encounters, and the ultimate bar‑room panic scenario, the boys break down exactly how they’d react… and why those reactions are usually unhinged.
It’s messy, honest, petty, and painfully relatable — with real stories, real trauma, real laughter, and the kind of friendship dynamic that makes every disaster feel like a group chat confession. If you’ve ever spiraled over a Grindr notification, dodged an ex in public, or lied about an outfit because you were already late, welcome to the cavern. You’re home.
18 Aug 2026
Episode 3: Thirst Traps, Screenshot, Evidence & Red Flags
Austin and Jason take on a gloriously unhinged round of “Who Would Be More Likely?” — exposing exactly who would stalk a LinkedIn profile after a match, delete a text five times before sending it, or drop a thirst trap with strategic lighting and emotional intention. What starts as a rapid‑fire game turns into a funny, brutally honest look at their habits, icks, grudges, internet obsessions, and the chaotic little details that define their friendship. It’s messy, petty, self‑aware, and somehow still heartfelt — the perfect mix for anyone who loves queer humor, oversharing, and feeling like they’ve been added to the funniest group chat on the planet.
17 Aug 2026
Episode 1: Pilot,Be Kind: First Afterthoughts
Episode 1: Pilot, Be Kind Welcome to the very first episode of Cavernous Afterthoughts! We're Austin and Jason, two friends diving headfirst into the cave of pop culture, current events, LGBTQ+ life, questionable opinions, and the random thoughts that somehow become our best conversations. This week, we're introducing ourselves, playing rapid-fire games, sharing hot takes, and proving that not every afterthought should stay in your head.
6 Aug 2026
Episode 2: How We Met, First Trip, Boys, and Bad Decisions
Austin and Jason rewind to the night they first met at a 70s‑themed Halloween party in San Francisco — wigs, bell bottoms, and zero idea they’d become family. From there, they jump into their very first trip together, a chaotic Vegas weekend filled with drag shows, emotional concert moments, and the kind of questionable choices that set the tone for their friendship. It’s the origin story of their bond: messy, hilarious, heartfelt, and fueled entirely by boys and bad decisions.
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