30 Sept 2026
controversial dating advice that actually works
I ask my mum for dating advice all the time, so honestly, it felt slightly selfish not to bring her on here and let you guys ask her questions too.She got married at 22, divorced, spent years as a single mum, dated for decades, and eventually found a relationship that looks completely different from what she thought her “type” would be.So, safe to say, she has STORIES.We talk about dating red flags, how to know when someone actually likes you, why someone’s actions matter more than what they promise you, and why having a “type” might lowkey be keeping you away from the person who is actually right for you.One thing that really stuck with me was her advice to stop making excuses for behaviour that goes against your core values. Because sometimes we spend so much time wondering, “Am I overreacting?” when the better question might be, “Is this actually acceptable to me?”We also get into how to get over someone you can’t have, decentering men without completely giving up on dating, healing before dating, anxious vs. avoidant attachment, whether you should sleep with someone on the first date, when to define the relationship, and the whole instant spark vs. slow burn debate.This is basically dating advice for women in their 20s from someone who has actually lived through marriage, divorce, heartbreak, single motherhood, dating apps, bad dates, and eventually finding a healthy relationship.Real talk, I think a lot of us are trying so hard to find the “right person” that we forget to ask whether we even know what the right relationship should feel like.
TIMESTAMPS:
0:00 — Intro
1:46 — Why My Mum Gives Me Dating Advice
2:29 — Getting Married at 22
3:00 — Falling in Love With Potential vs. Reality
4:59 — Dating Advice for Men
6:01 — Red Flags vs. Normal Flaws
7:37 — Should You Give Them Another Chance?
8:28 — Why You Need to Actually Date
9:19 — How Do You Know Someone Is Right for You?
10:43 — Why Your “Type” Might Be Wrong for You
13:13 — What Makes a Man Attractive?
14:31 — How to Get Over Someone You Can’t Have
15:19 — Should Women Decenter Men?
16:50 — Why My Mum Only Had One Child
18:03 — When Is the Right Time to Have Kids?
19:39 — You Cannot Change a Man
20:29 — Why Do We Try to Change People?
21:32 — Dating Again After Rejection or Heartbreak
22:46 — Rapid-Fire Dating Questions
23:43 — Sex on the First Date?
25:00 — Staying Friends With Your Ex
25:39 — When Should You Define the Relationship?
26:03 — Instant Spark vs. Slow Burn
26:58 — Being Desired vs. Being Understood
27:09 — Healing Before Dating vs. Healing Through Dating
27:52 — Anxious vs. Avoidant Attachment
28:15 — Final Thoughts
So I’m curious: Are you dating based on what you genuinely need… or based on the person you always imagined you would end up with?
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