CLOSER

About CLOSER

By their very definition, psychotherapists are opaque. Their work is done in relative isolation, its contents are confidential, and their personal lives tend to be relatively unknown except to a select few, and even they may still experience a discreet distance. Are they really who they say they are? What do they talk about behind closed doors? Is therapy a way of life for them or a role they play? Are the things they do and say in therapy good for the geese as well as the gander? Career psychotherapists Nicole and Ryan Thomas Neace reveal the contents of their own dialogue and relationship as an exercise in radical authenticity, presenting a foil to the shroud that often surrounds people who do relationships for a living. CLOSER brings listeners just that – close enough to catch a poignant and unapologetically intimate glance into not just what they do, but who they are.

Publisher

Nicole & Ryan Thomas Neace

Category

health & fitness · society & culture

Language

en

Explicit

No

First episode

15 Nov 2024

Latest episode

25 Aug 2025

Latest episodes

15 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   25 Aug 2025

   Episode 15: Plants are People Too, with Julian Devoe

   Ryan and Nicole talk with bio-yogi, author, movement leader, healer, and plant medicine shaman/guide, Julian Devoe, whom they first met during a plant medicine journey involving Huachuma (the San Pedro cactus) in 2024. They discuss everything from plant medicine journeys, the challenges of occupying unconventional healing spaces (i.e., spaces that are divorced from organized religion or therapeutic endeavors), the nature of relationships, and in particular, relationships with people, nature, and the unquantifiable. Discussed: plant medicine, huachuma, ayahuasca, healing experiences, first steps in discovering healing pathways, unconventional experiences, visions, evangelical Christianity, unconventional healing spaces, groundedness, relationship with nature, relationship with people, relationship as preeminent, relationship with the unquantifiable, mystery, mysticism.

2. 

   29 Jul 2025

   Episode 14: Welcome back, Kotter

   Ryan and Nicole explain their brief hiatus, reflect on what's transpired since they were out, and examine the ways the relational thread which comprises the focus of the CLOSER podcast will be explored in Season 2, specifically with the inclusion of guests on the show to include therapists, spiritual teachers, spiritual guides, plant medicine journeyers, and more. Discussed: ebb and flow of life, marriage, men and women and friendships, friends of other genders in heterosexual marriages, friends in marriage, transitional times, life and marriage, inability to provide for one another's needs, Rob, Bell, Julian Devoe, Sara Safari, Amy Adams, Matt Powers.

3. 

   5 Feb 2025

   Episode 13: We Did Not Have a Fight Between Episodes 12 & 13 (aka, Process Talk)

   In the previous episode, Ryan & Nicole unexpectedly bumped into some old wounds and found themselves caught up in old dynamics in real-time, trying to process old and new feelings and to care for themselves and each other while touching feelings of struggle, disconnection, and loss. As a result, here in Episode 13, they go back to the therapeutic principle of "process talk," discussing what was happening for them and what they learned. Discussed: content and process in therapy, process talk, vulnerability, tension, harshness in communication, process talk as central in understanding broader relationship implications, fighting in relational contexts, connection between intimacy and fighting, previous iterations of self, working with tension, intentionality, leaning in, and more.

4. 

   29 Jan 2025

   Episode 12: Making Friends in Adulthood

   Ryan and Nicole reflect on recent and historical efforts making friendships in adulthood, recounting the ways that the endeavor is inevitably impacted by who we are and where we are developmentally. In doing so, they unexpectedly bump into some old wounds. Listen in real-time as they try to care for themselves and each other while being put into touch with early feelings of struggle, disconnection, and loss. Discussed: making friendships in adulthood, making friends with couples, vulnerability, marriage, reflection, deep longing, young motherhood, transitional times, life and marriage, Henri Nouwen, compassion, intentionality, experiencing feedback as pointing out deficits, sadness, loneliness, inability to provide for one another's needs, and more

5. 

   12 Jan 2025

   Episode 11: Letter to the Lady of the House

   Ryan and Nicole share a heart-wrenching story by Richard Bausch, revealing the unresolvable issues that reveal the depths of love and longing in marriage.

6. 

   7 Jan 2025

   Episode 10: When 1 + 1 = Purple

   Happy New Year! While most people seem to be busy making plans for the new year or reacting to others who are making plans for the new year, Ryan & Nicole turn their attention to the certain inevitability that plans or no, life sometimes hands us small and large disruptions. Among the larger types are those which are so large that their inability to have planned or accounted for them is an essential part of their character. When these come, they beget the necessity of a radical reorientation. Discussed: New Year, New Year's resolutions, planning, futility in planning, man plans and God laughs, when things don't go according to plan, everything happens for a reason, hopeless positivity, depression, anxiety, panic, grief, full-bodied emotional experiences, evangelical Christianity, solidarity, practicing presence, radical reorientation, vulnerability, caring for yourself well, panic, Thich Nhat Hanh, home is the way, the power of now, and more.

7. 

   20 Dec 2024

   Episode 9: Origins Part 2

   Ryan and Nicole, a couple of 17 years, share their origin story and relational insights, revealing the evolution of intimacy and longevity through implicit and explicit 'contracts' in their partnership.

8. 

   11 Dec 2024

   Episode 8: Origins Part 1

   Ryan & Nicole recount their origin story, from eHarmony in 2007 to navigating early relationship challenges, in a humorous and poignant exploration of what makes their connection endure.

9. 

   4 Dec 2024

   Episode 7: Calm, Fascinating, Balance, Alignment

   Ryan and Nicole, with their 12 and 15-year-old children, explore the transformative power of gratitude and change in their family's annual ritual, fostering a deeper understanding of balance and alignment.

10. 

    27 Nov 2024

    Episode 6: Bad Blood

    Ryan & Nicole examine how productive fighting in relationships can create a deeper, more fulfilling intimacy, and explore the necessary role of conflict in healthy partnerships.

11. 

    21 Nov 2024

    Episode 5 (Mini-Bonus): For Julie & Tyler

    Ryan presents poignant remarks on love, marriage, and life, offering insights into unresolvable issues, vulnerability, and deepening relational dialogue in this special episode with Julie & Tyler.

12. 

    21 Nov 2024

    Episode 4: OMG That's Not It

    Nicole and Ryan deconstruct conventional wisdom on finding therapists, revealing the single biggest predictor of therapeutic success is a therapeutic bond with a well-suited therapist.

13. 

    15 Nov 2024

    Episode 3: We Had a Fight in Between Episodes 2 and 3 (aka, Process Talk)

    In therapy, process talk occurs when the therapist and client stop conversational back and forth, and move into a posture of evaluation -- specifically, they might examine what's happening in that back and forth between them. They notice how things are feeling, what emotions are coming up and when, what reactions they have to the contents of the conversation. In so doing, it is very common that the observations made in process talk end up having a transformative and illuminating power about the contents -- whatever the client came in to talk about, process talk ends up being as important or more important, because it reveals things about the presenting problem that are not obvious by staring at it so directly. Taking a cue from that, Ryan & Nicole engage in process talk of their own about how things are going between them as it relates to the podcast, and also reveal that immediately before doing so, they encountered a fight in their relationship which shaped the conversation. Discussed: content and process in therapy, process talk, vulnerability, self-criticism, shame, judgment, tension, harshness in communication, process talk as central in understanding broader relationship implications, and more.

14. 

    15 Nov 2024

    Episode 2: Makes Me Feel

    "You make me feel so angry!!!!" Ever heard someone say something like this, or one of its ten thousand permutations? Movies, friends, relationship partnerships, colleagues -- most of us seem pretty intent on using this turn of phrase with impunity, thinking that we're justified in saying it, where justified = "this person really did hurt me." Indeed, even when we're hurt, Nicole and Ryan illuminate why a simple pronoun shift can lead to empowerment for the person who was hurt, and a genuine hearing on the part of the person doing the offending, and even, the possibility of compassion, empathy, and a deepening of dialogue. As they try to unpack this concept, however, they run into some of their own differences in orientation to relationships and personality around the degree to which things between them as a couple, and between any two people, are really resolvable, and what the implications are for relationships where reality requires grappling with this. Discussed: taking ownership and responsibility for feelings through intentional use of language, responding with compassion and empathy, how to deepen of relational dialogue, existential constructs, suffering, issues between couples that aren't resolvable, Richard Boswell, Good Will Hunting, Robin Williams, ledger-keeping, wounds, and more.

15. 

    15 Nov 2024

    Episode 1: CLOSER?

    Ryan and Nicole talk about why their new podcast is called CLOSER, including the notion persons who help others for a living are perhaps naturally more opaque, so the podcast allows them to present a different layer of themselves and their shared life and relationship. Discussed: doing relationships (apparently) differently, levels of awareness, honesty, congruence, basic orientation to relationships, the nature of information and language relative to talking and knowing, enneagram, evangelical background, shadow work (how knowing what's happening for you relates to what you do or do not see in others), and more.

Reach and audience

Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.

Apple Podcasts (US)

5.0 / 5

1 ratings

Contact CLOSER

Guest appearances

Books guests

Based on episode analysis; this does not confirm that the show is currently accepting guests.