Come As You Are Podcast

About Come As You Are Podcast

How much do childhood wounds shape who we become? What does it mean to heal? How can you be a deeply feeling person in this world and not lose your mind right now? We'll get into all of that and more. Thanks for spending some time with me. allyhamilton.yogisanonymous.com (https://allyhamilton.yogisanonymous.com?utm_medium=podcast)

Publisher

Ally Hamilton

Category

health & fitness · society & culture

Language

en

Explicit

No

First episode

23 Aug 2023

Latest episode

20 Sept 2026

Latest episodes

144 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   20 Sept 2026

   Somebody That I Used to Know

   There’s a thing about open doors: If you have to abandon yourself at the threshold so you can enter and be received with love, that open door is an invitation to betray yourself for someone else’s comfort. That open door is a trapdoor. Hello friends, welcome to the this week’s podcast episode, which is based on an essay (https://allyhamilton.yogisanonymous.com/p/somebody-that-i-used-to-know) I published a couple of weeks ago. I read the essay to start us off, a thing I don’t always do, because this piece resonated with a lot of readers, and I know people prefer to have an audio version that isn’t read by a bot. I am no fan of bots, as I believe I made clear in last (https://allyhamilton.yogisanonymous.com/p/david-hasselhoff-was-always-going) week’s essay (https://allyhamilton.yogisanonymous.com/p/david-hasselhoff-was-always-going). Who can keep up with all the insanity these days? I’m already writing a new essay in my head about the importance of the free press, which is under attack again (https://www.pbs.org/newshour/politics/ms-now-cnn-and-politico-say-their-journalists-were-denied-access-to-white-house-after-trump-ban). But let’s stay with ambiguous grief, the topic of “Somebody That I Used to Know” — that’s the kind of grief you feel when you lose someone who is still alive. So many of us have experienced — or are currently living with — that kind of loss. I’d imagine most of us have felt it at least once, at the end of a romantic relationship, or when a friendship lasts for a season, and not a lifetime. The painful feeling of knowing someone is out there, a person you used to text first when something significant or silly happened, or you saw a meme that made you laugh, or you got scary or upsetting news — and now you have no idea what their life is like. It hurts, it’s brutal sometimes, but it’s also the nature of things. None of us lasts forever, so these “small deaths” are a kind of practice test, a way to train ourselves to get used to impermanence and our own vulnerability. When I started writing the essay, I wanted to defend and reassure grown children who experience parental or familial gaslighting, it’s no reflection on them. It’s personal to me, I lived that way for decades with my mother. I loved her so much, but she did not make it easy. I started thinking about this topic because I came across an article (and wished I hadn’t) written by a mother who said she’d “left the door open” for her adult, estranged daughter, and that she prayed one day her daughter would walk through that open door. She was writing about her grief over the loss of her child, the pain she feels, and I’m sure she is in pain. However. I think there are many of us who’ve heard some version of that story. My child wants little to do with me, I am devastated, I’ve tried to communicate, and now I’ve decided to live my life. But the door is open. There’s a thing about open doors: If you have to abandon yourself at the threshold so you can enter and be received with love, that open door is an invitation to betray yourself for someone else’s comfort. “Accept my version of reality, and all will be well again.” “Pretend I haven’t hurt you, and we can go back to the way things were.” “Act like the things I’ve said or done don’t matter, like they didn’t happen even if they broke your heart, and we can enjoy a family dinner. “ “Just because I voted for a man who makes you less safe, behave as though that’s ‘only politics’ and shouldn’t be a thing that comes between us.” “Even though he breaks every Commandment, pretend it makes sense when I say I voted for him because I’m a conservative Christian.” “Though you meant no harm, though you were simply trying to exist in the world and say things that were true, grovel before me and I’ll decide if your begging is enough to satisfy me.” That “open door” is a trapdoor, and people who love you don’t ask you to abandon yourself — they love you for who you are. Any parent who is unable to do that over “ideological differences” (read: because their child is a member of the LGBTQ community) is failing that child and themselves, full stop. That’s not Christ-like, it’s devastating. Things have become twisted and strange. There’s a lack of empathy that is horrifying to take in every day, but it doesn’t have to be like this, and it isn’t sustainable. People are not okay. We’re meant to be kind to one another, it feels good as you may have noticed. It feels awful to despise people, it’s exhausting and depleting. I see how it hardens people who succumb, and it’s ugly. The cruelty, the arrogance. There’s no love in that, no joy, no growth. We all get to choose who we’re going to be, though. I hope you enjoy this episode. You might have noticed you didn’t receive an essay from me this week. I was asked to be the first guest essayist at Quiet Observations, my friend Paul Crenshaw (https://substack.com/profile/10312227-paul-crenshaw)’s new ‘stack, and you will find an essay waiting for you there (https://open.substack.com/pub/quietlyessaying?r=gcqpo&utm_medium=ios). It is a quiet essay right from my heart. I won’t tell you what it’s about, or who, but I will say this person taught me everything I know about love, and we could all use a little more of that right now, don’t you think? Sending you love, friends. Always. Wanna meet me in person? I’d love that so much, and I have a retreat coming up (https://allyhamilton.yogisanonymous.com/p/what-if-we-met-in-person-that-would) in less than a month! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit allyhamilton.yogisanonymous.com/subscribe (https://allyhamilton.yogisanonymous.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2)

2. 

   1 Sept 2026

   Crying in Public

   As ever, this week’s episode is a riff off of this week’s essay (https://allyhamilton.yogisanonymous.com/p/crying-in-public). I don’t always read the essay to get things cooking, but I did this week because it felt like a good jumping off point to talk about the broader topic of having a little compassion for ourselves right now, and for each other. For the first time, I also read a comment someone left underneath the essay. If you listen, I think you’ll understand why. There’s really no point in creating anything if there isn’t anyone there to see it or hear it, or receive it and respond. Or maybe that isn’t exactly right. Maybe if any one of us who writes or paints or makes music, suddenly found ourselves starring in a real-life version of one of those dystopian tv shows or films that are so popular, we’d still make our art. I know if I thought I were the last person on earth (or in some space station where everyone else had perished), I’d find a way to write, but I can’t think of anything lonelier than writing into a vast universe with no hope of a response, can you? I don’t think any of us would want to be the last person on earth or floating through space, and when you watch those shows or films, the one thing the person is always motivated to do is find out if anyone is “out there.” As much as people seem to scream at each other on the internet, we do long for connection. We do want to be understood. It hurts to be human right now, or it does if you’re paying attention to what’s happening in the world, and letting yourself feel the emotions anyone would feel in the face of so much heartache and violence. It’s especially painful when you acknowledge that so much of this is unnecessary. We don’t have to be living this way. Of course there’s the inherent grief that’s built into the mix of loving people because we don’t last forever. There’s the grief of losing relationships for other reasons, too. I am talking about casual, intentional cruelty, though. Here in the states we’re seeing so much of that (https://allyhamilton.yogisanonymous.com/p/wild-horses), and for people who think and feel the way I do, it is unfathomable that anyone would have voted for this. Twice. There are times I have to get away from the screens and go outside and breathe, sit alone by the ocean, or walk my dog until we’re both ready to curl up under a blanket, because it is a constant onslaught, and it makes my head spin sometimes. It is okay not to be okay. Being apathetic is the thing that is worrisome. There are times I have to take a break so I can remind myself the world is beautiful. I have to recalibrate and fill my tank so I can fight for the world I love, and the one I want for my children, and all our children — and for us, too. I read the reader comment because it is meaningful and poignant, and also as a reminder that we’re all connected, and our fates are tied. Whether we’re talking about seemingly small things, like letting someone merge on the freeway (I would argue this is no small thing, but rather the kind of magic that restores my faith in humanity), or the way we’re treating our allies, our actions matter, they have an impact on the people around us, and a ripple effect that travels farther than we might think. Some people understand this and live their lives accordingly. They embody kindness, acceptance, generosity and love. They move through the world without armor, and they don’t take it personally when people attack them. They see the pain underneath the words. (This is what I would call an advanced spiritual practice.) That’s why we feel so heartbroken when we lose them, and why people who wouldn’t normally, might cry in public when talking about them. This episode is dedicated to the one and only Dolly Parton. If you have it to spare, people have been donating $9.25 (“9 to 5”) to her Imagination Library all week, and I think she would be so tickled by that. I linked it in the essay, but I’ll link it again here (https://imaginationlibrary.com/) <3 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit allyhamilton.yogisanonymous.com/subscribe (https://allyhamilton.yogisanonymous.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&#38;utm_campaign=CTA_2)

3. 

   2 Aug 2026

   Gods, Moms, and Monsters, An Odyssey

   Today on the pod, Dina and I talk about holding the ache of the empty nest and the excitement of what a third act might hold simultaneously, the odyssey of the “male genius” and whether any of them will ever take a note along the way? We’re looking at you Chris Nolan and Steven Spielberg (lol, they’re not sweating it), and the very real pain of losing close friends when the request to “agree to disagree” means you have to accept not all people are deserving of empathy, dignity, and bodily autonomy. A line many of us are not willing to cross. Also, the horror, despair, and heartbreak of recognizing your old friend is now standing on the other side of that line. That’s the nutshell version of our conversation, but as ever, we dug in. We both have older teenage/young adult kids on the cusp of their own heroes’ journeys, and the mixed bag of pride and unending love, along with mourning for the days of chubby arms around our necks, waists, legs, is real. So is the joy of the new kinds of adventures you have with your adult kids. We both saw Disclosure Day, and Dina just saw The Odyssey, and wrote about her feelings, too, so after you listen to this conversation, if you’d like more (you will) you’ll find her essay here (https://dinahonour.substack.com/p/the-heros-journey). Get ready for gems like this, which you’ll also hear in our talk, It can’t be that hard to imagine a version of Helen who, bored with her Spartan trinkets and grossed out by Menelaus scratching his balls with the same hand he eats with, manifests a different future for herself. So yes, we laughed a lot. I wrote about losing a friend this week, but also about the pain of being asked to pretend things aren’t what they are. There were some tears in this episode, too. You can find my essay here (https://allyhamilton.yogisanonymous.com/p/the-human-show). This is the heart of it, One thing I dislike with the heat of a thousand suns is the feeling that arises when someone says they love you, but wants you to stand in a field of horse manure and pretend it smells like roses. Being asked to behave like things are not as they are, or to carry on after something hurtful has happened without any kind of acknowledgement, is an invitation to betray yourself so someone else can feel comfortable. That’s the moment love starts dying on the vine. What’s the point of standing there, smiling with sad eyes while we murder any chance of intimacy or trust between us? The first time someone asks won’t be the last. The first time is a test, and failing is the only way you win. It’s always such a joy to be in conversation with all of you. Sending you so much love. Watch out for those Trojan horses ;) Ally & Dina This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit allyhamilton.yogisanonymous.com/subscribe (https://allyhamilton.yogisanonymous.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&#38;utm_campaign=CTA_2)

Reach and audience

Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.

Apple Podcasts (US)

5.0 / 5

2 ratings

Podcast Authority Score: 38 / 100

A composite of feed quality, social presence, YouTube performance and engagement. Read the methodology.

Quality

76

Social presence

0

YouTube

0

Engagement

0