Come Home To Yourself

About Come Home To Yourself

Come Home to Yourself is a reflective podcast about self-worth, nervous system healing, physical health, creativity, rest, and learning how to build a life that actually feels like yours. Through personal stories, coaching insights, and honest conversations about growth, grief, burnout, habits, and healing, Liana explores what it means to reconnect with yourself in a world that constantly pulls people away from their own needs. New episodes move through the same ideas and themes explored in her writing, coaching curriculum, and creative work, one conversation at a time. lianasoper.substack.com (https://lianasoper.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast)

Publisher

A podcast by Liana Soper

Category

education · health & fitness

Language

en

Explicit

No

First episode

27 Apr 2026

Latest episode

9 Sept 2026

Latest episodes

13 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   9 Sept 2026

   Do You Actually Want This?

   I’ve been thinking lately about the difference between wanting something and wanting to want something. There are things in my life that I have very little trouble believing in. I believe in taking care of my health. I believe in moving my body regularly. I believe in the book I’m writing right now, and even though sitting down to work on it sometimes requires a little push, I want to finish it. There’s something underneath the effort that already knows: This matters to me. Then there are other things I keep telling myself I want, yet somehow I keep struggling to actually do them. I’ve been saying for a while that I want to get up earlier. In my head, there’s a very appealing version of this. I wake up, feed the cats, go for a walk or a run, get all my morning things done, and start working earlier. It sounds great. The only problem is that I really like slow mornings. I like drinking my coffee without rushing. I like taking my time. I like not immediately launching myself into the productive part of my day. No matter how many times I decide I’m going to get moving earlier, I seem to drift back toward the same leisurely morning routine. For a while, I’ve treated that as something I need to fix. Maybe I need more discipline. Maybe I need to go to bed earlier. Maybe I need to stop being so slow in the morning. Lately, though, I’ve been wondering whether I’m asking myself the wrong question. Instead of How do I make myself get moving earlier?, maybe I need to ask: Do I actually want to? I’m not entirely sure that I do. I think I want what I imagine an earlier start would give me. I want to get my movement in, begin working a little earlier, and feel like I have plenty of time for everything I care about. None of that necessarily means I want to give up something else I genuinely value, which is having spacious mornings. That might sound like a small distinction, but I think we do this to ourselves all the time. We decide we should exercise five days a week, wake up earlier, cook every meal at home, meditate, journal, read more, scroll less, save more money, be more productive, maintain our friendships, and somehow still have time to stare peacefully out a window. Then we struggle to follow through and decide the problem is us. Maybe sometimes we need more discipline. Other times, I think it’s worth getting curious about why we’re having to fight ourselves so hard in the first place. What Your Behaviour Can Tell You I’ve been writing about conviction for my book recently, and one of the ideas I keep coming back to is that what we do can tell us something about what we believe. Not everything. Behaviour needs context. Someone who hasn’t exercised in months may care deeply about their health and also be exhausted, grieving, injured, overwhelmed, or caring for someone else. Someone who isn’t making progress on their business may desperately want it to succeed while dealing with circumstances that leave very little room for it. Our behaviour isn’t a perfect measure of what matters to us, but I do think it can give us information. If I repeatedly tell myself I want something and repeatedly struggle to follow through, I can criticize myself for that, or I can get curious. Maybe I want the outcome but don’t like the way I’m trying to get there. Maybe something else matters more right now. Maybe I’m afraid. Maybe I don’t believe the effort will pay off. Maybe I’m asking too much of myself. Or maybe I’m simply uncomfortable because I’m doing something new. Those situations can look almost identical from the outside, but they require completely different responses. That’s why I’m becoming less interested in automatically answering resistance with more force. I want to know what’s underneath it first. I Thought I Hated Exercise For years, I told myself I didn’t like exercise. I would start workout programs and eventually stop. I didn’t particularly enjoy gyms. I’d make myself exercise because I knew it was good for me, but it often felt like something I was supposed to do rather than something I actually wanted in my life. Eventually, instead of trying harder, I changed the way I was doing it. I started incredibly small. At the time, I lived in a condo building, and I began walking the stairs for about five minutes. It was private, simple and manageable. I stayed with it long enough to experience what movement actually did for me. I noticed the difference in my energy and mood. I felt stronger. I started trusting myself more because I was following through on something I said I wanted to do. Eventually, I didn’t need to convince myself that movement was worthwhile. I knew it was because I had experienced the evidence firsthand. It turns out I didn’t hate movement. I hated a lot of the ways I had tried to make myself move. That distinction changed everything. I think we sometimes imagine conviction as something we’re supposed to have before we begin, but my experience has often been the reverse. Sometimes you take a small action before you have much conviction at all. Then you experience something because of that action. The experience gives you evidence, and the evidence begins changing what you believe. Eventually, something that once required a lot of willpower starts requiring less. That doesn’t mean it becomes effortless. I don’t leap out of bed every day thrilled to exercise. I still have days when I need to push myself to start. The difference is that I’m no longer arguing with myself about whether movement matters. I already know it does. That’s conviction. Wanting Something Can Be Complicated There are still plenty of places in my life where I haven’t figured this out. I’ve been wanting to eat a little less at dinner because sometimes I eat past the point where I’m comfortably full and don’t feel very good afterward. This seems like a straightforward problem to solve, except I really love food. In the moment, I have two things competing with each other: I want to feel comfortable after dinner, and I also want to keep eating something delicious. Both are true. Telling myself I need more discipline doesn’t really help me understand that. Curiosity might. Maybe I need to pay more attention while I’m eating or notice what makes me want to continue once I’m already full. Maybe feeling comfortable afterward needs to become something I value through experience, the same way movement eventually did. My art presents a completely different version of the same question. I miss making art. I think about it often, and I genuinely want to be doing more of it. Yet lately, I haven’t been making much time for it because I’m putting a lot of energy into writing my book, working on my coaching curriculum, and doing the business work that needs my attention. Art has ended up taking a back seat. That doesn’t mean I secretly don’t want to make art. It means we can care deeply about several things and still only have so much time and energy to give them. Sometimes choosing one priority means allowing something else we love to receive less attention for a while. At the same time, the fact that I miss it tells me something too. Maybe art genuinely needs to take a back seat right now, or maybe I’m assuming I need a huge block of free time before art gets to count. Maybe twenty minutes with my paints would give me something I’m currently missing. I don’t know unless I try. Maybe You Don’t Need More Willpower I’m becoming increasingly suspicious of the idea that whenever we aren’t following through, we simply need to try harder. There will always be things worth doing that are uncomfortable, inconvenient, boring, or difficult. Sometimes you really do need to push through. Conviction doesn’t eliminate resistance. It just changes your relationship with it. There’s a difference between pushing through the temporary discomfort of doing something you deeply believe in, and repeatedly forcing yourself toward something that doesn’t actually fit you. There’s also a difference between not wanting an outcome and not wanting the particular method you’ve chosen to get there. Maybe you really do want to be healthier, but you hate running. Maybe you genuinely want a successful business, but the marketing strategy you’ve been told you need makes you miserable. Maybe you want more time in your day, but waking up at 5 a.m. isn’t the only way to create it. The answer isn’t to quit whenever something feels difficult. Sometimes difficulty is exactly where growth is happening. I just think there’s value in understanding what you’re pushing through and why before deciding that more force is the answer. There are things I do now that would have required enormous amounts of willpower from an earlier version of me. The behaviour changed partly because I changed. I accumulated evidence. I learned what certain choices gave me. I figured out what mattered to me and what didn’t. I stopped trying to make myself do some things in ways that never worked for me and found ways that did. Eventually, some of those choices became part of how I see myself. I’m someone who moves her body. I’m someone who takes care of her health. I’m a writer. I’m an artist. I’m someone who takes care of the beings I love. Those identities aren’t rules I’ve given myself. They’ve been built through years of living them. There are other areas where I’m still figuring it out, and I think there probably always will be. I’m less interested now in immediately fixing those parts of myself than I am in understanding them. So the next time you find yourself saying, Why can’t I just make myself do this?, maybe don’t reach immediately for more discipline. Get curious first. Do you actually want this, or do you want to want it? Do you want the outcome but hate the method you’ve chosen? Is something else more important right now? Are you genuinely depleted, or are you uncomfortable because this is new? Have you experienced enough of the benefit yet to believe that the effort is worth it? You might discover that you need to change what you’re doing, start smaller, or let something go. Or you might come right back around to the thing you were avoiding and realize: No, I really do want this. This matters to me. Now I need to do the work. Maybe lasting change isn’t about becoming better at forcing yourself. Maybe it’s about building enough conviction that you don’t have to fight yourself quite so hard. If this resonated with you and you’d like support understanding the patterns, beliefs, and habits shaping how you show up, I’d love to work with you. Come Home to Yourself is my three-month coaching program for people who want to build healthier habits, strengthen self-trust, and create meaningful change that lasts. Learn more here: www.lianasoper.com/coaching (http://www.lianasoper.com/coaching) Take good care of yourself, Liana This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit lianasoper.substack.com/subscribe (https://lianasoper.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2)

2. 

   26 Aug 2026

   You’re Not Behind. You’re Here.

   I’ve been thinking lately about how many of us feel like we should be further ahead in our lives. I was talking with family recently about the different ways this shows up. Someone might think they should be married by now, have children, own a home, be further along in their career, have more money saved, or simply have more of their life figured out. There’s often this picture in our heads of where we thought we would be at a certain age, and when our actual life doesn’t match it, it can feel like we’ve somehow fallen behind. But behind according to whom? I’m 40 now, and if you had asked me at 25 or 30 exactly what I thought my life would look like at this age, I’m not sure I could have told you. I was never someone who planned decades into the future. I probably would have assumed I’d be with someone, although marriage was never particularly important to me. I definitely thought I would have a successful business and a lot of money by now. I think I assumed I’d still be living in Toronto too. My actual life looks very different. I’m single. I don’t live in Toronto anymore. I’m building a business I deeply believe in, but it hasn’t reached the level of financial success I know I want for myself yet. I’m living a life I genuinely love in many ways, and at the same time, I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t occasionally some shame around the things that haven’t happened yet. That’s something I think we need to be more honest about. You can be happy with your life and still wish parts of it were different. You can love being single and still hope you eventually meet someone. You can believe deeply in the work you’re doing and still feel discouraged that it isn’t paying you what you hoped it would by now. You can be grateful for where you are and still grieve the life you thought you might have. Those things can exist together. I remind myself all the time that I’m on the journey I’m on and that I’m getting where I’m going in the way I’m meant to get there. Most days, I believe that. Some days, it still hurts. I think the danger begins when we take the gap between where we are and where we thought we’d be and turn it into evidence about our worth. Instead of My business isn’t where I want it to be yet, it becomes I’m not successful. Instead of I haven’t met the right person yet, it becomes There must be something wrong with me. Instead of My marriage ended, it becomes I failed. Instead of I don’t own a home, it becomes Everyone else is ahead of me. That’s where shame sneaks in. It makes us smaller than we actually are. We hide the parts of our lives we think don’t measure up. We compare ourselves to other people. We explain ourselves when no explanation was required. We might even downplay the things we’re proud of because some other part of our life doesn’t look the way we think it should. I know that feeling. For me, the place where I’ve carried the most shame has probably been my career. I do believe in myself and in what I’m building, but that doesn’t mean I feel confident about it all the time. Some days I feel incredibly sure of where I’m going, and other days the doubt creeps in and I wonder why it’s taking me so long to get there. Why am I not there yet? The interesting thing is that I don’t remember deciding when “there” was supposed to happen. Who gave me the deadline? When I think back to my late twenties and early thirties, I can see how easily these invisible timelines start forming. I was in a long-term relationship, and people around me were getting married. I remember wondering whether we should get married too. Not necessarily because I had some enormous desire to be married, but because everyone else seemed to be doing it. I had always known, on some level, that I probably wasn’t going to live exactly like everyone else. Yet even I found myself checking my life against theirs. Social media has made that so much harder. We can now wake up in the morning and, before we’ve even had coffee, compare our lives with dozens or hundreds of other people’s. Someone bought a house. Someone got engaged. Someone is pregnant. Someone’s business had its biggest month ever. Someone is travelling through Europe. We take tiny windows into other people’s lives and use them as measuring sticks for our own. We don’t know what happened before the photograph, what’s happening outside the frame, how long it took, what it cost, what they sacrificed, or whether we’d even want their life if we had to live all of it rather than the tiny piece we’re being shown. Still, somehow, we decide we’re behind. I wonder how much energy we lose trying to catch up to timelines we never consciously chose in the first place. There’s another problem with constantly believing you should be somewhere other than where you are: it makes it very difficult to build from where you actually are. This is something I’ve been thinking about in relation to aligned action. We often create plans for the person we think we should already be rather than the person standing here today. We expect ourselves to have more energy, more money, more confidence, more time, more experience, or more capacity than we actually have. Then when we can’t maintain the plan, we decide we lack discipline or that we’ve failed again. But you can’t begin from an imaginary starting point. You can’t take the next step from the life you think you should have. You can only take it from the life you’re actually standing in. That doesn’t mean giving up on wanting more. I still want my business to grow. I still want financial success. I’m open to falling in love again. There are places I want to go, things I want to create, and versions of my life I haven’t experienced yet. Accepting where I am doesn’t mean deciding this is where I’ll stay. It means telling the truth about where I’m starting. When I stop looking at my actual life as the disappointing version of the one I was supposed to have, something else becomes visible. There are things here I never knew to want. I never expected to be living where I do now, but moving here helped me discover how deeply I love nature. I’ve learned that I genuinely enjoy spending time alone. I don’t want an incredibly busy life. I like having room to think, research, learn, make art, write, coach, putter around, go for walks, and follow my curiosity. I know myself in a way I didn’t when I was younger. The ending of my relationship was incredibly painful, but what came afterward changed the relationship I have with myself. When I first started dating again, I can see now that there was a part of me looking for someone else to choose me. I wanted to be liked. I chased things I wouldn’t chase today. I don’t do that anymore. I’m my own best friend now. Nobody throws you a party for that. There’s no culturally approved milestone for becoming someone you genuinely like spending your life with. There’s no announcement card or registry. Nobody asks to see the ring (ha!). Yet when I think about everything I’ve gained from the life I actually lived, rather than the one I imagined, that might be one of the things I value most. I’ve also learned that I’m resilient. I’ve had businesses that didn’t work the way I hoped. I’ve had to change direction. I’ve had my heart broken. I’ve fallen off the wagon more times than I can count, and I’ve climbed back on just as many. That creates a kind of faith in yourself that you can’t get from everything going according to plan. None of this means I have to pretend I’m grateful for every painful thing that’s happened. I don’t think we need to turn every disappointment into a lesson or convince ourselves that everything happened exactly as it should. Sometimes something just hurts. Sometimes you wanted something and didn’t get it. Sometimes a chapter ends that you desperately wanted to keep. Sometimes you look around and think, This really isn’t where I thought I’d be. You’re allowed to feel that. What I don’t want anymore is to use where I am as evidence that I’m failing. Maybe you don’t need to either. Maybe the question isn’t Why am I not further ahead? Maybe it’s: Where am I actually standing, and what can I build from here? Look around for a moment. Not at your friend’s life, your sibling’s life, the person you went to high school with, or the stranger on Instagram whose life seems impossibly polished. Yours. What has this life given you? What have you learned because things didn’t go according to plan? Who have you become because you had to begin again? What do you know about yourself now that you couldn’t possibly have known at 25? Maybe there are things in your life today that weren’t part of the original plan because you didn’t know enough about yourself yet to put them in it. You are not living the failed version of the life you were supposed to have. You’re living this one. This is where your feet are. This is where you get to choose from. This is where you get to begin. So instead of asking yourself where you should be by now, I want to leave you with a different question: What have you gained from the life you actually lived that wasn’t part of the original plan? You might be surprised by how much is already here. If these articles are resonating with you and you’d like to explore this work more deeply, I’d love to support you. Come Home to Yourself is my three-month coaching program for people who want to build healthier habits, strengthen self-trust, and create meaningful change that lasts. Learn more here: www.lianasoper.com/coaching (http://www.lianasoper.com/coaching) Take good care of yourself, Liana This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit lianasoper.substack.com/subscribe (https://lianasoper.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2)

3. 

   18 Aug 2026

   What’s Underneath the Resistance?

   “It just doesn’t feel aligned.” I’ve said this before. Maybe you have too. Alignment has become one of those words we hear everywhere, especially in the personal growth world. We’re told to follow what feels good, trust our intuition, stop forcing things, and choose what feels aligned. I believe in all of that. In fact, learning to stop pushing and forcing has changed my life in a lot of ways. Lately though, I’ve been thinking about the other side of it. Sometimes something doesn’t feel aligned because it genuinely isn’t right for us, and sometimes it doesn’t feel aligned because it’s uncomfortable, unfamiliar, or scary. How do you know the difference? I’ve had two experiences recently that have made me think about this a lot. For the past year or so, I’ve been trying to make Instagram work for me. I’ve tried different ways of posting, different strategies, taking breaks, deleting the app and coming back. I kept thinking maybe I just needed to find the right way to use it, yet the resistance never really went away. Being on Instagram increasingly felt performative to me. I didn’t feel like myself there, and eventually I started questioning why I was trying so hard to make myself fit into something that clearly wasn’t working for me. I could have told myself I was avoiding something difficult. I could have decided that building a business requires social media, so I needed to suck it up and keep posting. Instead, I started asking a different question: What if this resistance is actually trying to tell me something? So I stopped forcing it. I didn’t stop believing in my work. I didn’t decide I no longer wanted to build my business or help people. I simply started questioning whether Instagram needed to be the way I did it. Almost immediately, that created room for a much more interesting question: How can I build this in a way that actually feels like me? Around the same time, I had another experience that felt uncomfortable for a completely different reason. I went camping by myself for the first time, and I was scared. I’d camped with other people before, including trips where I’d arrived on my own and joined a group, but I’d never actually gone completely solo. There were plenty of reasons I could have talked myself out of it. Underneath the fear, though, was something very different from what I felt with Instagram. I was excited. I was curious. I wanted to know if I could do it. I wanted the independence, the mornings outside, the campfires, the swimming, and the freedom of being able to pack up my things and go somewhere on my own. The fear was there, but so was desire. I’ve learned that when I’m scared and excited about something, there’s usually something on the other side of that fear that’s worth exploring. So I made the scary thing smaller. I chose a campground close to home, got the supplies I needed, and reminded myself that I’d already built some confidence by camping with other people. Then I went. Some parts were wonderful and some parts were hard. It rained, I discovered that sleeping in a tent isn’t exactly my favourite thing in the world, and there were definitely moments when I wondered what I’d gotten myself into. I still came home wanting to do it again. Next time, I could go a little farther. The discomfort wasn’t telling me no. It was telling me this was new. That distinction matters. If I’d interpreted every uncomfortable feeling as a sign that something wasn’t aligned, I wouldn’t have gone camping. I wouldn’t have grown, and I wouldn’t have given myself the evidence that I could do something I’d previously been afraid to do. Sometimes the most aligned choice available to us is uncomfortable. It might be setting a boundary with someone you love, going for the walk when you’d rather stay on the couch, putting your work into the world when you’re afraid no one will care, saying no when you’re used to people-pleasing, or having a conversation you’ve been avoiding. Alignment isn’t the absence of resistance. Sometimes alignment asks you to walk straight through it. An aligned life isn’t a comfortable life. It’s a life where the discomfort means something. I think I’m learning this in my business right now too. I love coaching. I love writing. I love making art. Those are the things I want to spend my time doing. Marketing them is where I feel resistance. Part of me wants to say, Well, marketing doesn’t feel aligned. I just want to do the work. I also know that’s not the whole truth. I’ve marketed businesses before. Years ago, when I was a jewelry designer, I did it successfully. I’ve worked in sales too, and I’ve learned that when I genuinely believe in something, I’m actually pretty good at talking about it. I believe deeply in the work I’m doing now. Maybe the answer isn’t to avoid marketing, and maybe the answer isn’t to force myself into someone else’s version of marketing either. There might be a third option. How do I help people find my work in a way that actually feels like me? I’m still figuring out the answer to that question, and I think that’s important to say. I don’t believe alignment is something you figure out once and then magically know exactly what to do for the rest of your life. It’s a relationship you build with yourself. You try things. You pay attention. You notice how you feel. You gather evidence. Sometimes you realize the discomfort is asking you to keep going, and other times you realize you’ve been trying to force yourself down a path you don’t actually want to be on. There are also times when you simply know. That’s intuition too. It doesn’t always arrive with an explanation. Sometimes there’s just a quiet knowing underneath all the noise. The challenge is learning to hear it. One question I’ve found helpful is: What’s underneath my resistance? Is there fear there? Excitement? Curiosity? Desire? Am I afraid because this is unfamiliar, or have I been pushing myself toward something I don’t actually want? Most importantly, do I want what’s on the other side of this discomfort? I think that last question can tell us a lot. There’s a difference between forcing yourself to live a life you don’t want and doing something difficult in service of a life you do. There’s also a difference between honouring yourself and letting fear make every decision. Sometimes self-respect means resting, and sometimes it means getting up. Sometimes it means walking away, while other times it means staying long enough to see what happens. Sometimes it means admitting that the path everyone else seems to be taking isn’t yours and finding another way forward. You don’t have to build your life from someone else’s blueprint. Maybe that’s what aligned action actually is. It isn’t waiting for everything to feel effortless, avoiding anything uncomfortable, or forcing yourself to do things simply because you’ve been told you should. It’s learning yourself well enough to recognize the difference. It’s paying attention to what’s underneath the resistance, getting honest about what you actually want, and then taking the next step that reflects the person you’re becoming. Last week, I wrote about the influence we still have when so much of life is outside our control. Maybe this is what we do with that influence. We choose. Not perfectly or fearlessly, but consciously. When we realize we’ve chosen a path that isn’t ours, we can choose again. So this week, I have two questions for you: What have you been calling “misalignment” that might actually just be discomfort? What have you been forcing yourself to do because you think you should, even though something inside you keeps asking for another way? Maybe you already know which question you need to answer. If these articles are resonating with you and you’d like to explore this work more deeply, I’d love to support you. Come Home to Yourself is my three-month coaching program for people who want to build healthier habits, strengthen self-trust, and create meaningful change that lasts. Learn more here: www.lianasoper.com/coaching (http://www.lianasoper.com/coaching) Take good care of yourself, Liana This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit lianasoper.substack.com/subscribe (https://lianasoper.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2)

4. 

   3 Aug 2026

   The Lens You’re Looking Through

   Have you ever noticed how two people can experience the exact same situation completely differently? One sees possibility while the other sees problems. One walks away from a conversation feeling hopeful, while the other spends the rest of the day replaying everything they said. The circumstances are the same, but the experience isn’t. Why is that? For a long time, I would have answered that question by talking about mindset, or energy, or focus. I still think all of those things matter, but lately I’ve found myself describing it a little differently. Your internal state influences how you experience your external world. Not because you control everything that happens to you. You don’t, but because you influence how you meet what happens, and over time that changes what happens next. I’ve been thinking about this a lot over the past few days. Right now one of my cats, Samson, is going through a health scare. We’re waiting for answers, and the vet mentioned some possibilities that were frightening to hear. If I’m honest, I spiraled. I’ve been doing this work for years, and I still spiraled. I cried. I imagined the worst. My mind raced ahead to places it didn’t need to go, and for a while, fear completely took over. I think it’s important to say that because sometimes personal growth gets portrayed as a place where you stop feeling anxious or uncertain. As if once you’ve done enough work on yourself, fear no longer finds you. That hasn’t been my experience. The difference isn’t that I never spiral anymore. The difference is that I come back sooner. Yesterday morning, I went for a walk. I listened to a podcast that reminded me of something I’ve practiced for years: I may not control what’s happening, but I still have influence over how I respond. When I got home, I noticed a sticky note that’s been on my door for weeks. It simply said: Always assume things will work out. Then do the work to make it true. I smiled because it was exactly what I needed to hear. Not because it guaranteed everything would be okay. Nothing can do that. But because it gently reminded me where I wanted to place my attention. Instead of asking, What if the worst happens?, I started asking a much better question. What can I actually do today? I can love Samson. I can spend time with him. I can explore treatments that feel right. I can be present instead of living in imagined futures. Most importantly, I can be calm. Because that’s what he needs from me right now. That realization shifted something. The diagnosis hadn’t changed. The uncertainty hadn’t disappeared. But I had. A phrase came to mind while I was walking: A diagnosis isn’t necessarily a prognosis. We don’t know what tomorrow will bring, none of us do — but we always have influence over who we choose to be today. I’ve noticed the same pattern in other seasons of my life. When I was looking for a coaching job, I approached the process very differently than I would have in the past. Old me would have panicked. She would have overthought every application, assumed nothing would work out, and tried to force an outcome. Instead, I got clear on what I wanted. I kept showing up. I kept doing the work. And I trusted that something would come together. A few months later, I accepted a coaching job that was remarkably close to what I’d imagined. I noticed the same thing when I was looking for an apartment. The timeline was tight, but I wasn’t making decisions from panic anymore. I was making them from trust. Did trust magically create those opportunities? I don’t think that’s the whole story. What trust changed was me. It changed how I thought, what I noticed, the decisions I made, and the opportunities I stayed open to. Those small shifts changed what happened next. That’s very different from pretending life is always easy or believing we can control everything that happens to us. There are still seasons that hurt. There are still diagnoses we don’t want to hear, relationships that end, plans that fall apart, and losses we never would have chosen. This isn’t about pretending those things don’t exist. It’s about remembering that while we don’t control everything, we’re not powerless either. We have influence. When life feels uncertain, I don’t try to force myself into positivity. I simply try to come back. Sometimes that means going for a walk. Sometimes it’s journaling. Sometimes it’s listening to a podcast that grounds me. Sometimes it’s reading a sticky note on my door. Sometimes it’s making coffee and sitting quietly by the lake. Sometimes it’s texting someone I trust. Sometimes it’s simply reminding myself that I’ve lived through hard things before and, somehow, every single time, I’ve found my way to the other side. None of these practices change reality. They change how I meet reality. Which changes my experience of it. Peace, I’ve realized, isn’t the absence of uncertainty. It’s learning how to come back to yourself within it. So here’s the question I’ve been reflecting on this week. What’s one situation in your life that feels outside your control right now? Then ask yourself one more question. Within that situation, what’s still yours to influence? Maybe it’s your next thought. Maybe it’s the conversation you choose to have. Maybe it’s asking for help. Maybe it’s taking a walk. Maybe it’s deciding to meet today with just a little more compassion than yesterday. That’s where everything begins. If these articles are resonating with you and you’d like to explore these ideas more deeply, I’d love to support you. Come Home to Yourself is my three-month coaching program for people who want to build healthier habits, strengthen self-trust, and create meaningful change that lasts. Learn more here: www.lianasoper.com/coaching (http://www.lianasoper.com/coaching) Take good care of yourself, Liana This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit lianasoper.substack.com/subscribe (https://lianasoper.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2)

5. 

   22 Jul 2026

   You Don't Have to Earn Your Worth

   Welcome back to Come Home to Yourself. Last week we talked about awareness and the importance of paying attention to our patterns. This week, we’re exploring the difference between self-worth and self-esteem, and what happens when we begin tying our worth to our performance instead of remembering that it’s always been there. In this episode, I share the unexpected realization I had while writing this week’s article and why I think so many of us end up looking for evidence that we’re enough. * Read this week’s article: You Don’t Have to Earn Your Worth (https://open.substack.com/pub/lianasoper/p/you-dont-have-to-earn-your-worth-ea5?r=eo48a&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true) * Join us in Wednesday’s subscriber chat for this week’s reflection question. * Learn more about Come Home to Yourself coaching. Until next time... Take good care of yourself. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit lianasoper.substack.com/subscribe (https://lianasoper.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2)

6. 

   14 Jul 2026

   Awareness Comes Before Change

   Welcome back to Come Home to Yourself. This week’s article is all about awareness, and why lasting change begins long before we ever change our behaviour. Today, we’re talking about what it means to truly pay attention, why noticing a pattern is something worth celebrating, and how awareness creates the space for us to make different choices. Let’s get into it. Questions we’ll reflect on together: * What does “awareness comes before change” actually mean? * Why do so many of us try to change ourselves before we even understand ourselves? * Tell us about the sticky notes all over your house. * What did Jim teach you about awareness and choice? * Why is noticing something worth celebrating instead of criticizing? * Tell us about the client who came wanting to lose weight. * What’s a pattern you still catch yourself doing today? * How has awareness changed your own life? * What’s one thing someone could start paying attention to this week? * Final takeaway: What would you say to someone who feels discouraged because they keep “catching themselves” doing the same thing? If today’s conversation resonated with you, I’d love for you to read this week’s article, Awareness Comes Before Change (https://open.substack.com/pub/lianasoper/p/awareness-comes-before-change-ea9?r=eo48a&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true), where I explore this idea in more depth and share a few more personal stories. If you’d like to keep exploring ideas like this with me, come join us on Substack. Every week I share a new article, a podcast episode, a reflection question in the subscriber chat, and little reminders throughout the week to help you come home to yourself. I’d love to have you there. Until next time... Take good care of yourself. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit lianasoper.substack.com/subscribe (https://lianasoper.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2)

7. 

   7 Jul 2026

   Is That Actually True?

   Welcome back to Come Home to Yourself. This week’s article is all about the stories we tell ourselves, and how easily those stories begin to feel like facts. Today we’re talking about why questioning those stories might be one of the most powerful things you can do for your personal growth. Let’s jump in. Questions we’ll reflect on together: 1. What do I mean when I say that most things aren't facts? 2. Why do stories feel so true? 3. What was one of the biggest stories I believed? 4. How did that story affect my choices? 5. What changed when I hired my own coach? 6. What patterns did I notice while coaching hundreds of people? 7. Why is reflection so powerful? 8. What happens when we stop treating every thought like a fact? 9. What's one question everyone can ask themselves this week? 10. What do I hope listeners take away from today's episode? If today’s episode resonated with you, I’d love for you to read this week’s article, where I dive deeper into this idea and share more of my own story. Here is the link: Is That Actually True? (https://open.substack.com/pub/lianasoper/p/is-that-actually-true-783?r=eo48a&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true) Enjoying these kinds of conversations? Come join us on Substack! Every week I share a new article, a reflection question in the subscriber chat, and practical tools to help you come home to yourself. If you’re looking for a more personalized space to explore your own patterns, habits, and relationship with yourself, I’d love to support you. You can send me a DM or learn more about my coaching here: https://www.lianasoper.com/coaching (https://www.lianasoper.com/coaching) This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit lianasoper.substack.com/subscribe (https://lianasoper.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2)

8. 

   30 Jun 2026

   The Conversation You're Having With Yourself

   What if lasting change doesn’t begin with discipline? What if it begins with the relationship you have with yourself? In this episode, I explore why taking care of yourself isn’t just about building healthier habits. It’s about building a healthier relationship with yourself. We talk about self-respect, discipline, punishment versus care, and why two people can do the exact same healthy habit for completely different reasons. Questions we’ll reflect on together: * What does it actually mean to have a relationship with yourself? * When did I first realize my relationship with myself needed work? * Why did I spend so many years believing discipline was the answer? * What does self-respect actually look like in everyday life? * Why can two people do the exact same healthy habit for completely different reasons? * What’s the difference between taking care of yourself and trying to fix yourself? * How do small acts of care slowly change the relationship you have with yourself? * Why do I believe respect is something we practice rather than something we simply feel? * If someone wanted to start building a healthier relationship with themselves today, where would I suggest they begin? * What kind of relationship are your daily choices creating? 📖 Read the companion article here: The Conversation You’re Having With Yourself (https://substack.com/@lianasoper/p-204187669) 🤍 Interested in working together? If these conversations resonate with you and you’re looking for a more personalized space to explore your own patterns, habits, and relationship with yourself, I’d love to support you. You can send me a DM or learn more about my coaching here: https://www.lianasoper.com/coaching (https://www.lianasoper.com/coaching) This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit lianasoper.substack.com/subscribe (https://lianasoper.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2)

9. 

   23 Jun 2026

   Why Questions Matter More Than Answers

   In this episode, I explore why questions matter more than answers. We talk about the difference between consuming information and engaging with it, how reflection helps us see ourselves differently, and why some of the biggest changes in our lives often begin with a simple question. Questions explored in this episode: • What made me realize that information alone wasn’t enough to create change? • What’s the difference between consuming information and actually engaging with it? • Why did journaling become such a powerful tool for me? • What did going through the same coaching program multiple times teach me about growth? • Why do we keep looking for another answer instead of sitting with what we already know? • How can the stories we tell ourselves keep us stuck? • What happens when we start asking better questions? • Why can a good question create more change than advice? • How do reflection and self-awareness help us build trust with ourselves? • What’s one question I think everyone should ask themselves more often? Related article: Why Questions Matter More Than Answers (https://open.substack.com/pub/lianasoper/p/why-questions-matter-more-than-answers?r=eo48a&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web) This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit lianasoper.substack.com/subscribe (https://lianasoper.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2)

10. 

    16 Jun 2026

    Episode 3: Showing Up While Doubting Yourself Still Counts

    In this episode, I explore why the people who make lasting changes aren’t the ones who never wobble. They’re the ones who learn how to come back. We talk about self-sabotage, the stories we tell ourselves when we fall off track, what nature can teach us about resilience, and why showing up while doubting yourself still counts. Most importantly, we explore how changing the meaning you attach to a setback might be the key to finally moving forward. Questions explored in this episode: * When you fall off track, what do you make it mean about yourself? * Can you think of a time in your life when you almost gave up but didn’t? * If your best friend had the same “bad weekend” you just had, would you speak to them the way you speak to yourself? * What if the thing keeping you stuck isn’t what happened, but the meaning you’ve attached to what happened? * What evidence do you already have that you can do hard things? * What does “doing your best” actually look like for you today? * Where in your life are you waiting to feel confident before taking action? * If nature were your coach right now, what would it be trying to teach you? * What would change if you stopped treating every wobble as evidence that you’ve failed? * One year from now, what do you hope you’ll be glad you didn’t quit? Related article: Showing Up While Doubting Yourself Still Counts (https://open.substack.com/pub/lianasoper/p/showing-up-while-doubting-yourself?r=eo48a&utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&utm_medium=web) This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit lianasoper.substack.com/subscribe (https://lianasoper.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2)

11. 

    2 Jun 2026

    EPISODE 2: The Goal Is Not To Be Good

    In this episode, I explore the idea that the goal of health is not to be “good,” but to learn how to take care of yourself. We talk about diet culture, self-respect, curiosity, nourishment, and what nature can teach us about listening to our bodies instead of judging them. Questions explored in this episode: * Why do so many people describe themselves as “good” or “bad” when talking about food? * Where do those labels come from? * What changed for me when I stopped focusing on rules and started paying attention? * How did learning about blood sugar regulation change my relationship with food? * What does it actually mean to listen to your body? * What’s the difference between curiosity and judgment? * What can nature teach us about nourishment and self-care? * Why do I think self-respect is more important than discipline? * What does taking care of yourself actually look like in everyday life? * If the goal isn’t to be good, what should the goal be instead? Related article: The Goal Is Not To Be Good (https://substack.com/@lianasoper/p-199800060) This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit lianasoper.substack.com/subscribe (https://lianasoper.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2)

12. 

    26 May 2026

    Episode 1: You Are Not Meant to Bloom in Every Season

    Questions explored in this episode: * When did you first start realizing that life moves in seasons? * Why do you think so many people feel guilty when they slow down? * What does “winter energy” mean to you personally? * How has your relationship with slower seasons changed over time? * Do you think modern culture leaves enough room for grief, rest, or emotional recovery? * What are some signs that you’re entering a season where you need to slow down? * Why do you think nature feels so regulating and reassuring for people? * What do you think happens when people try to force “summer energy” year-round? * What would you say to someone who feels like they’re falling behind during a slower season of life? * What does it mean to honour winter instead of resisting it? Here’s the article I spoke about: You Are Not Meant To Bloom In Every Season (https://substack.com/@lianasoper/p-197896683) This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit lianasoper.substack.com/subscribe (https://lianasoper.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2)

13. 

    27 Apr 2026

    Ten Q's

    Hi Friends! I decided to try something new today. It’s a week of newness! My website just launched — more on that soon, but please peruse at your leisure, and maybe buy something 🥰 www.lianasoper.com (http://www.lianasoper.com) I’ve found that asking myself questions like the ones in this audio (and listed below), is one of the simplest ways to get clarity. It helps me sort through my thoughts, notice patterns, and actually see how much I’ve changed over time. Things that feel messy in my head start to make more sense when I say them out loud. And over time, it’s been a big part of building my confidence and self-trust. In a lot of ways, this is like being your own coach. You slow down, you ask better questions, and you give yourself space to answer honestly. Of course, having someone guide you through that process can take things deeper — but even doing this on your own can shift a lot. If you don’t feel like listening to the audio, you can read through it — there’s a transcript somewhere, haha (this is all new so bare with me!). And if you want to try this yourself, you don’t need anything fancy. Just a question, a notebook, or your phone, and a few minutes to be honest with yourself. Here are the questions I answered in the audio. Try answering them yourself! 1. Where in my life right now am I not following through on what I say I want? 2. What does “taking care of myself” actually look like for me right now — not ideally, but realistically? 3. What have I been avoiding lately… and why? 4.What do I tend to do when I fall off track — and what’s my pattern there? 5. Where do I feel the most resistance in my life right now? 6. Am I actually making things harder than they need to be? If so, how? 7. What would it look like to trust myself more right now? 8. What do I keep telling myself I’ll start… but haven’t? 9. If I kept going exactly as I am right now, how would I feel in a year? 10. What do I know would help me feel better… that I’m just not doing? As always, I love you all. All is well. Thanks for being here :) Liana This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit lianasoper.substack.com/subscribe (https://lianasoper.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2)

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