Comin' Out Swinging isn't just about non-monogamy. It’s a raw, real look at modern relationships. We’re Victoria and Dave Arena: together nearly 30 years, married over 24, and swinging for more than 22. This show explores how love, sex, and identity often buckle under the weight of societal expectations, especially monogamy. Subscribe to Comin’ Out Swinging—the podcast that truly redefines "Couple Goals," straight from the Muthaphuckkin OGs.
Think the only way to heat things up is to swap partners? Not even close. In this episode, Vic and I break down all the hot, non-monogamy-adjacent fun—voyeurism, exhibitionism, and same-room play—that keeps the spice alive without ever crossing into full swap.
11 Sept 2025
From Overlooked to Overbooked in the Lifestyle
We spent our teens in the friend zone—good enough to listen to everyone’s drama, never the ones they wanted. In this episode, Vic and I unpack how that shaped us, how those voices still live in our heads, and what it feels like to flip the script in the lifestyle.
4 Sept 2025
The Truth About Performance Enhancers
In this episode, we discuss the realities of performance enhancers in the lifestyle. We address common misconceptions about erectile dysfunction, the impact of environment on performance, and the importance of communication between partners.
The discussion also covers the use of medication to enhance experiences and the emotional aspects of intimacy when things don't go as planned.
Key Takeaways:
Performance enhancers are not just for men; they can benefit couples.
The 'puppy reaction' describes excitement leading to performance issues.
Environmental distractions can significantly impact intimacy.
It's important to communicate openly about performance issues.
Disappointment in intimacy is common and can be navigated positively.
Medication can enhance experiences but is not a cure-all.
Women often feel it's their fault when performance issues arise, but it's usually not.
The right mindset can turn a disappointing experience into a positive one.
Choosing the right time to take performance enhancers is crucial.
Open discussions about sexual health can improve relationships.
28 Aug 2025
From Fun To Felony: Lifestyle Rules You Shouldn't Break
In today’s episode, we’re giving you a crash course in lifestyle club and event survival. From awkward ‘cash-for-play’ offers to phones popping up in places they shouldn’t—let’s talk security, safety, and how not to wreck the vibe (or go to jail).
21 Aug 2025
Shut the F*ck Up!
We love that you’re excited to be at the sex club. We really do. But if you're in the play area talking about your colonoscopy or your kids’ soccer schedule while people are trying to fuck—you’re doing it wrong.
In this episode, we tackle one of the biggest vibe-killers at lifestyle clubs: loud-ass people treating the play area like it’s happy hour at Chili’s. From awkward overshares to unsolicited porn-director commentary, we’ve seen—and heard—it all.
This episode is a love letter from your fellow swingers trying to get off in peace.
24 Jul 2025
Out of Your League? Not in the Lifestyle
Think you’re not hot enough for the lifestyle? Too average? Too old? Not what you think people are looking for? Think again.
In this episode, we unpack how swinging isn't about being the hottest person in the room—it’s about how you show up. Confidence, vibe, and how you make people feel will get you further than abs or a perfect ass ever will.
We will talk about the simple things most people overlook—like grooming, hygiene, and not acting like a weirdo—and share personal stories of pulling people who, in the “vanilla world,” would’ve been way out of our league.
17 Jul 2025
Is Vanilla Marriage Draining Your Soul?
It’s not always cheating, abuse, or betrayal that ends relationships.
Sometimes it’s boredom, avoidance, and pretending everything's fine.
This episode is about the normal-looking relationships falling apart behind closed doors—slowly, quietly, and often with no one noticing.
What’s even worse, how many of these relationships stay together until someone dies?
10 Jul 2025
Are Humans Wired for Monogamy or Conditioned?
Are humans really meant to be with one person forever?
Or is monogamy just a cultural script we’ve all been handed—whether it fits or not?
In this episode, we delve into the biology, traditions, and uncomfortable truths surrounding lifelong monogamy.
From sex drives and cheating stats to societal pressure and religion, we’re pulling it all apart.
As Chris Rock once said, “Men are only as faithful as their options.”
25 Jun 2025
We Broke All Our Lifestyle Rules
The hosts discuss how their initial rules and boundaries in swinging evolved over 22 years, covering topics like kink exploration and solo play, in this episode.
18 Jun 2025
How Swinging Made Our Marriage Bulletproof
Hosts discuss how ethical non-monogamy strengthened their marriage over 22 years, fostering excitement, communication, and adventure, offering insights into long-term relationship dynamics.
12 Jun 2025
How to Crash and Burn in the Lifestyle
The hosts of "Comin' Out Swinging" explore the pitfalls of entering the swinging lifestyle for the wrong reasons, such as therapy or desperation, and highlight the importance of a solid foundation.
5 Jun 2025
Everyone Else Is Just a Toy—Here’s Why
Hosts discuss the distinctions between swinging, polyamory, and open relationships, emphasizing why they prefer swinging without emotional attachments to strengthen their marriage; this is not an interview.
29 May 2025
Their First Time, Our Shared High
Hosts share a story about meeting a couple at a club and facilitating their first experience fulfilling a shared fantasy, exploring themes of energy, anticipation, and mutual excitement.
22 May 2025
Vic Nearly Puked. Dave Dove Right In. Our 1st Time
In this episode, we’re going back to our first time.
We’ll tell you:
How Vic shocked Dave by signing up for an AFF account
The couple we met from the next town over
What really went down that night in our house
And how we both felt before, during, and especially after
If you’ve ever wondered what it’s actually like the first time you swing—this one’s for you.
15 May 2025
Swinging Didn’t Fix Us—It Freed Us
In this episode, we’re getting real about how we got into the lifestyle.
We weren’t struggling. We weren’t bored.
Our sex life was already damn good—maybe too good.
We’ll talk about:
How curiosity evolved from Real Sex on HBO (yes, we're dating ourselves lol) to pillow talk and playful boundaries
Why communication and honesty were the key from the start
How Dave’s solo habits opened up space for deeper trust between us
Whether you’re already swinging or just starting to have the conversation, this is the story that shows it doesn’t have to start from struggle.
8 May 2025
Messies, Mentors, and Muthafukkin’ OGs
In this episode, we’re kicking things off by sharing why we’re finally stepping up to the mic after 22 years in the lifestyle.
We’ll talk about:
The couple that mentored us early on and showed us how to actually last in non-monogamy
The moment we realized we couldn’t stay quiet anymore (spoiler: it involved a messy foursome and TikTok drama)
And why we’re not your lifestyle gurus—but we are the OGs who’ve seen what works, what blows up, and what you really need to know
Whether you’re only fantasizing about swinging or just starting out in the game, this episode will help you navigate your journey with clarity, confidence, and hopefully way fewer red flags.
3 May 2025
Welcome to Comin' Out Swinging!
Comin' Out Swinging isn't just about non-monogamy.
It’s a raw, real look at modern relationships.
We’re Victoria and Dave Arena: together nearly 30 years, married over 24, and swinging for more than 22.
This show explores how love, sex, and identity often buckle under the weight of societal expectations, especially monogamy.
Subscribe to Comin’ Out Swinging—the podcast that truly redefines "Couple Goals," straight from the Muthaphuckkin OGs.
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5.0 / 5
2 ratings
Podcast Authority Score: 23 / 100
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YouTube
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