Complex Couples Podcast

About Complex Couples Podcast

Welcome! This is a space where your marriage matters, your values matter, and your choices matter. I’m Heidi, a couples therapist and founder of Complex Couples Coaching. I help couples navigate complex marriages, especially where mixed-orientation, desire discrepancies, attraction changes, or mixed gender identity play a role. My goal is to help you see your relationship clearly and make decisions rooted in integrity rather than fear. Learn to navigate complicated issues so you can make choices and thrive in whatever choice you make. Join me as I share insights about marriage that specifically apply to your situation. I’ll walk you through complicated issues such as: • What to do when your husband or wife comes out as gay, bisexual or trans • Whether mixed-orientation marriages can thrive or just merely survive • How attraction works and if you have to give it up if you want to stay married • Loss of desire in long-term marriage and how to get it back • Navigating high-conflict situations in a way that increases self-respect • Working through feelings of resentment • Rebuilding trust after emotional betrayal or secrets Subscribe and join a community of people committed to allowing marriage to shape them into better humans.

Publisher

Heidi Applegarth

Category

education · religion & spirituality · society & culture

Language

en

Explicit

No

First episode

25 Feb 2026

Latest episode

27 Oct 2026

Latest episodes

33 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   27 Oct 2026

   When My Husband Came Out: Our Story of Marriage, Faith, and Choosing Each Other

   What happens when your spouse reveals something that changes how you understand your marriage—but doesn't necessarily change how you feel about the person you married? Daniel and I recently had the opportunity to sit down with Richard Ostler, host of the Listen, Learn, and Love podcast, for a conversation about our experience navigating a mixed-orientation marriage. Richard has spent years creating space for LGBTQ individuals and their loved ones to share their stories, and we were grateful for the warmth, curiosity, and compassion he brought to ours. We talked about the night Daniel told me he was attracted to men, what surprised us about the years that followed, and some of the unexpected ways our marriage has challenged us to grow. We also shared parts of our story we haven't always been comfortable talking about—including the challenges of intimacy, the judgments we've encountered, the questions we've had to confront, and what we're continuing to learn about love, honesty, faith, and personal agency. Our experience isn't a prescription for anyone else's marriage. We believe there are many ways to navigate complicated relationships with integrity, and each person deserves the freedom to make those decisions for themselves. Whether you're navigating a mixed-orientation marriage, supporting an LGBTQ loved one, or simply trying to make sense of the differences in your own relationship, I hope our conversation offers a little more understanding, possibility, and hope. In This Episode The night Daniel came out to me after 18 years of marriage How our faith influenced the way we navigated the unexpected The questions we faced about attraction and sexual intimacy What it felt like when others questioned our marriage What we've learned about honesty, authenticity, and agency How we navigated conversations with our five children Why we believe there is room for different choices and different stories Links to Resources Mentioned Richard Ostler — Listen, Learn, and Love Podcast (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/listen-learn-love-hosted-by-richard-ostler/id1347971725) Voices of Hope Project — Ty Mansfield (https://a.co/d/026RFYgX) North Star International (https://northstarsaints.org) Gather Conference — Lift + Love (https://www.liftandlove.org/gather) Complex Couples Coaching (https://complexcouplescoaching.com) Connect ✏️ How To Know If Your Marriage Is Over - The Aligned Framework ➡ https://www.complexcouplescoaching.com/aligned-framework-course (https://www.complexcouplescoaching.com/aligned-framework-course) Special Coupon Code for my podcast listeners. At checkout, use coupon code: PODCASTLOVE 🧭 FREE Guide "When Your Spouse Comes Out: 9 practical tools to help you navigate the aftermath of disclosure or discovery." ➡ https://www.complexcouplescoaching.com/guide (https://www.complexcouplescoaching.com/guide) ⭐️ Want private coaching? ➡ https://www.complexcouplescoaching.com/coaching-application (https://www.complexcouplescoaching.com/coaching-application) 🎙️ Join me on my YouTube channel Complex Couples Podcast ➡ https://www.youtube.com/@complexcouplespodcast (https://www.youtube.com/@complexcouplespodcast) Watch this episode here (https://youtu.be/QQXCA9s81VE). 📧 Questions? Comments? A topic you’d like covered? Email me at: heidi@complexcouplescoaching.com (mailto:heidi@complexcouplescoaching.com) This podcast is for educational purposes only. It does not replace therapy, and it's not a substitute for professional mental health care. The examples I share are brief snapshots designed to illustrate a principle and may not apply to every situation. Because every relationship is unique, consider these principles thoughtfully and seek individualized professional guidance when needed. If your relationship involves violence, intimidation, or you have concerns for your safety, please seek support from professionals who can help you assess your specific situation and address it appropriately.

2. 

   13 Oct 2026

   Talking It Out vs Shutting Down: Who's Actually Healthier?

   Whether you’re the one who wants to talk or the one who needs space, you each hold more power than you think. In this episode, I take you into a quiet morning in my mudroom with Daniel and share what it took for us to get there. If hard conversations in your marriage tend to leave one of you pursuing and the other pulling away, I think you’ll find yourself in this one. The belief I held for years about who was “healthy” in our conversations, and what I learned when I looked at it more closely What each partner may actually be reaching for when a conversation gets hard Simple ways to make difficult conversations feel more willing and less dragged for both of you Resources Terry Real, relationship expert (concepts referenced: “unbridled self-expression” and the “barf bag approach to intimacy”) This Week’s Invitation Notice which role you tend to step into when a hard conversation comes up. Then get curious about one small way you could soothe yourself before reaching for your partner or the door. Work With Me 🧭 FREE Guide "When Your Spouse Comes Out: 9 practical tools to help you navigate the aftermath of disclosure or discovery." ➡ https://www.complexcouplescoaching.com/guide (https://www.complexcouplescoaching.com/guide) ⭐️ Want private coaching? ➡ https://www.complexcouplescoaching.com/coaching-application (https://www.complexcouplescoaching.com/coaching-application) 🎙️ Join me on my YouTube channel Complex Couples Podcast ➡ Watch this episode here. (https://youtu.be/6Jp-IIHIdnE) 📧 Questions? Comments? A topic you’d like covered? Email me at: heidi@complexcouplescoaching.com (mailto:heidi@complexcouplescoaching.com) This podcast is for educational purposes only. It does not replace therapy, and it's not a substitute for professional mental health care. The examples I share are brief snapshots designed to illustrate a principle and may not apply to every situation. Because every relationship is unique, consider these principles thoughtfully and seek individualized professional guidance when needed. If your relationship involves violence, intimidation, or you have concerns for your safety, please seek support from professionals who can help you assess your specific situation and address it appropriately.

3. 

   29 Sept 2026

   What If Standing Up for Yourself Isn’t About Standing Up to Them?

   🔗 Get on the waitlist for the Couples Retreat here (https://www.complexcouplescoaching.com/couples-retreat-waitlist) What if the resentment you’re feeling is pointing to a place where you have more choice than you realize? In this episode, I share a moment that challenged the way I was seeing my husband and helped me look more closely at a pattern between us. We’ll explore what can happen when you separate the facts from the story you’re telling yourself and get curious about your own role without taking responsibility for what isn’t yours. How resentment can build when you keep giving up what you want Separating what your partner is actually doing from the story you’re telling yourself The fears that can make it difficult to advocate for what matters to you This Week’s Invitation Look at where you’re angry with your partner for something. Write down the data - using only what you can see and hear. Ask yourself: What is my part in keeping this going? What could I do differently that does not depend on my partner changing first? And finally, ask yourself, what am I afraid I might have to face if I actually did that? Determine if you’re willing to face those fears or or whether, for now, you’d prefer to continue the pattern as it is. Either way, own that choice instead of making your partner the sole bad guy. Connect 🧭 FREE Guide "When Your Spouse Comes Out: 9 practical tools to help you navigate the aftermath of disclosure or discovery." ➡ https://www.complexcouplescoaching.com/guide (https://www.complexcouplescoaching.com/guide) ⭐️ Want private coaching? ➡ https://www.complexcouplescoaching.com/coaching-application (https://www.complexcouplescoaching.com/coaching-application) 🎙️ Join me on my YouTube channel Complex Couples Podcast ➡ Watch this episode here (https://youtu.be/SZoHNODFKF8). 📧 Questions? Comments? A topic you’d like covered? Email me at: heidi@complexcouplescoaching.com (mailto:heidi@complexcouplescoaching.com) This podcast is for educational purposes only. It does not replace therapy, and it's not a substitute for professional mental health care. The examples I share are brief snapshots designed to illustrate a principle and may not apply to every situation. Because every relationship is unique, consider these principles thoughtfully and seek individualized professional guidance when needed. If your relationship involves violence, intimidation, or you have concerns for your safety, please seek support from professionals who can help you assess your specific situation and address it appropriately.

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Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.

Apple Podcasts (US)

5.0 / 5

7 ratings

Spotify

5.0 / 5

1 ratings

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