Cosmic Mess is a podcast for the too-much and not-enough among us. Hosted by Monica, it’s a space where body image, self-worth, and spirituality collide. We talk fatphobia, healing, intuition, ADHD, energy work, and the sacred mess of being human. No filters, no fixes—just honest conversations about what it means to reclaim your body, your truth, and your weird. If you’ve ever felt like you don’t quite fit the mold, this show is your permission slip to stop trying. Come as you are. Stay for the realness.
What happens when you finally stop hiding?
When you stop shrinking to be digestible — and start telling the truth, even when it shakes your voice?
In this raw and unfiltered episode of Cosmic Mess, Monica opens up about a difficult phone call with her parents, being honest about her mental health, her sexuality, and the cost of being seen.
This isn’t an episode about blame — it’s about boundaries, grief, and the quiet freedom that comes from saying: this is me, and I’m not sorry.
If you’ve ever been told your truth makes people uncomfortable, this episode is for you.
It’s a reminder that you can speak up, cry through it, and still be worthy of love.
Because healing isn’t tidy — it’s real, messy, and deeply human.
💌 Connect: cosmicmesspodcast@gmail.com
🌐 Follow: @cosmicmess.llc (https://instagram.com/cosmicmess.llc) | @cosmicmesspodcast (https://instagram.com/cosmicmesspodcast)
🎧 Listen to more at cosmicmessllc.com (https://www.cosmicmessllc.com/)
1 Oct 2025
Episode 15 | Ancestral Wounds w/ Britt, Part Two
Part Two takes us deeper into ancestral healing—where release becomes reclamation. We talk about creating open dialogue with your ancestors, altar practices, and the simple but powerful ways signs and synchronicities show up in daily life. You’ll also hear a guided ritual for letting go of inherited pain, plus a card pull to check in with the energy of the week. This conversation is a reminder: you are not broken, you’re part of a long line of survivors, and your healing ripples both backward and forward through your lineage.
Connect:
• Monica — IG: @cosmicmesspodcast • @monica.elzbieta • Email: cosmicmesspodcast@gmail.com
• Brittany (guest) — IG: @_issavibecheck_
P.S. Got a spooky story for our Halloween special? Send it to cosmicmesspodcast@gmail.com with “Spooky Story” in the subject.
24 Sept 2025
Episode 14 | Ancestral Wounds w/ Britt, Part One
📍 Ancestral Wounds w/ Britt, Part One
What happens when the pain we’re carrying isn’t just ours? In this episode, I’m joined by my dear friend Brittany (@_issavibecheck_), a multi-passionate creative, vibe curator, and creator of the Issa Vibe Check affirmation deck, to talk about the ancestral wound—the inherited trauma, silence, and survival patterns passed down through our families.
We share personal stories about body image, money, family expectations, and the unspoken rules that shaped how we thought we had to be. This isn’t about blaming our ancestors—it’s about honoring them while choosing to break cycles and live differently.
✨ Part Two drops next week! In it, we’ll get practical with mirror talks, cord-cutting, building ancestral altars, and a collective card pull to help you bring this healing into your own life.
🎙 Cosmic Mess is unfiltered conversations for the too much and not enough among us.
💌 Connect with me:
Instagram: @cosmicmesspodcast (https://instagram.com/cosmicmesspodcast) | @monica.elzbieta (https://instagram.com/monica.elzbieta)
Email: cosmicmesspodcast@gmail.com
We’re told healing is about fixing, upgrading, or becoming someone new. But what if it’s not? In this episode, I share why healing isn’t about polishing yourself into perfection — it’s about remembering who you already are. ✨
From treating healing like a Virgo-style checklist, to realizing my body is a doorway to the divine, to living the life my ancestors dreamed of — this conversation is about coming home to yourself. You are not broken. You are not behind. You are whole, messy, divine, and human.
📩 Connect with me:
Instagram: @cosmicmesspodcast (https://instagram.com/cosmicmesspodcast) | @monica.elzbieta (https://instagram.com/monica.elzbieta)
Email: cosmicmesspodcast@gmail.com
10 Sept 2025
Episode 12 | No More Shrinking - Breaking Free from People Pleasing
✨ No More Shrinking — Breaking Free from People Pleasing ✨
For years, I bent myself into shapes that weren’t mine — silencing my truth, softening my edges, and playing the role of “easy” because I thought that made me lovable. Spoiler: it didn’t.
In this episode of Cosmic Mess, I’m sharing the real cost of people pleasing — how it sneaks into our relationships, friendships, work, even tiny everyday moments — and how I’m learning to stop abandoning myself. From trauma in a trench coat to saying “it’s fine” when it’s not, this one is raw, messy, and maybe a little too relatable.
If you’ve ever struggled with shrinking yourself for approval, comfort, or belonging, this episode is for you.
🎧 Listen now and let’s talk about what it really takes to stop pleasing, start expanding, and belong to yourself first.
—
✨ Let’s connect:
Instagram: @cosmicmesspodcast (https://instagram.com/cosmicmesspodcast?utm_source=chatgpt.com) | @monica.elzbieta (https://instagram.com/monica.elzbieta?utm_source=chatgpt.com)
Email: cosmicmesspodcast@gmail.com
27 Aug 2025
Episode 11 | Dear Diary: Part One...of Many
Hey, beautiful messes. Welcome back to Cosmic Mess, unfiltered conversations for the too much and not enough among us.
Episode 11 is something new — the start of a series I’m calling Dear Diary. I’m opening the pages of my journals from the very beginning of my healing journey back in October 2019.
These entries are raw and unedited — filled with confusion, hope, anger, affirmations, Reiki reflections, angel numbers, and the first glimpses of PMDD. Think of this episode as a breadcrumb trail, a time capsule of where it all began.
⚠️ Trigger Warning: Themes of pain, grief, PMDD, anxiety, anger, medication side effects, and emotional struggle. Please listen with care and step away if you need to.
✨ If these words resonate with you, I’d love to hear from you. Connect with me on Instagram @cosmicmesspodcast & @monica.elzbieta or by email at cosmicmesspodcast@gmail.com.
Because you are worthy — simply because you exist. 💫
13 Aug 2025
Episode 10 | Sacred, Single, & Not Waiting for Adam
⚠️ Trigger Warning: Discussion of loneliness, patriarchal conditioning, queerphobia, fatphobia, and religious themes.
In this empowering episode of Cosmic Mess, we dive deep into being single on the spiritual path, breaking generational trauma, and healing women’s loneliness. I unpack the so-called male loneliness epidemic, the patriarchal systems that shaped it, and why women have been carrying the emotional weight of the world for centuries.
You’ll hear about:
🌙 The sacredness of singleness and the Maiden archetype
🔥 Why partnership doesn’t define your worth
🖤 Ancestral patterns of loneliness — and how to alchemize them into self-love
🪄 Witchy wisdom for reclaiming your wholeness
💬 Personal stories of healing queerphobia, fatphobia, and “too much” energy
Whether you’re single, partnered, or rethinking love entirely, this episode will help you see yourself as already complete — no waiting for Adam required.
📩 Share your story: cosmicmesspodcast@gmail.com
📲 Follow: @cosmicmesspodcast | @monica.elzbieta
6 Aug 2025
Episode 9 | Breaking the Cycle, Rewriting the Story
✨ Breaking the Cycle, Rewriting the Story ✨
This episode is a sacred space for the cycle breakers — the ones doing the work no one modeled, who carry both grief and hope, and who are rewriting the story in real time.
We’ll move through personal storytelling, ancestral trauma, the science of epigenetics, and the emotional and spiritual toll of being the first to choose differently. If you’ve ever felt like the outsider in your own family, like healing is too hard or too slow, this episode is for you.
💭 We explore:
Generational trauma + ancestral memory
Epigenetics and what we inherit through the body
Family estrangement and grieving what never was
How to recognize if you're the cycle breaker
Rituals and spiritual practices for support
The cost and the courage of healing
⚠️ Trigger Warnings: Emotional abuse, family trauma, estrangement, grief, mentions of mental illness
__
✨ Issa Vibe Check:
For more information on the Issa Vibe Affirmation Deck, please visit issavibecheck.com (https://issavibecheck.com/)
💌 Contact:@cosmicmesspodcast | @monica.elzbieta
cosmicmesspodcast@gmail.com
You are not broken.You are the turning point.You are the rewrite.
30 Jul 2025
Episode 8 | The Lie of Not Enough
Episode 8: The Lie of Not Enough
🎙️ Imposter syndrome, ancestral wounds, and the messy miracle of becoming.
Ever feel like you're faking it? Like at any moment someone’s going to figure out you have no idea what you’re doing? Same.
In this episode, we're pulling apart the myth of not-enoughness — where it starts, how it shows up in the body, and why it gets loudest when you’re on the verge of something sacred.
We explore:
🌿 The roots of imposter syndrome in trauma, neurodivergence, PMDD, and systemic harm
🧠 Why this isn’t just mindset — it’s nervous system, lineage, and survival
📚 Overachievement, burnout, and the double-bind of being “too much”
🕯️ Rituals for remembrance, ancestral healing, and body-based reclamation
💬 A live oracle card pull to close it out (and yes, there are tears)
⚠️ Trigger Warnings: Mental health, internalized shame, PMDD, trauma, burnout, self-doubt
Whether you're navigating a creative project, stepping into your voice, or just trying to believe in yourself again — this one’s for you.
📩 Connect with me:
Instagram: @cosmicmesspodcast (https://instagram.com/cosmicmesspodcast) + @monica.elzbieta (https://instagram.com/monica.elzbieta)
Email: cosmicmesspodcast@gmail.com
You don’t have to be perfect.
You don’t even have to be consistent.
You get to be a whole-ass human with messy edges and brilliance.
26 Jul 2025
Episode 7 | My Cycle is Not the Enemy
What if your cycle isn't a curse, but a key?
In this deeply personal and soulfully educational episode, Monica breaks down the four phases of the menstrual cycle, shares her lived experience with PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder), and reclaims the bleed as a sacred, powerful rhythm.
You'll learn:
What's happening in your body during each cycle phase, hormonally, emotionally, and spiritually
Foods, teas, and movement to support each phase
The difference between a White Moon and Red Moon cycle
How PMDD feels from the inside, and what has actually helped
How to track your cycle without giving your data to Big Tech
The witchy history of blood magic, ancestral wisdom, and lunar alignment
This episode is a love letter to bleeding bodies, shadow work, and cyclical healing.
You are not broken. You are sacred. Even in the mess.
🩸 Trigger Warnings: Mental health symptoms, PMDD, suicidal ideation, medical gaslighting, mention of blood
📬 Connect: @monica.elzbieta | @cosmicmesspodcast | cosmicmesspodcast@gmail.com
18 Jul 2025
Episode 6 | Witchy Wellness for the Messy Soul
In this softer, more playful episode, I’m sharing the weird witchy wellness rituals that actually help me feel grounded — from crystals in my bra to moon water in my tea. We’ll talk about intuitive tools like oracle cards, talking to your guides in the shower, ancestral altars, energy cleansing, and tuning into your menstrual cycle as a sacred rhythm.
I also open up about a recent shift in my mental health journey — including a medication adjustment, finding a new OBGYN, and receiving an official diagnosis of PMDD.
⚠️ Content note: This episode includes mentions of depression, medication, and PMDD. Please take care of yourself while listening.
🔮 Want to connect or share your own weird rituals?
Find me on IG @monica.elzbieta (https://instagram.com/monica.elzbieta) and @cosmicmesspodcast (https://instagram.com/cosmicmesspodcast)
📧 Or email me anytime: cosmicmesspodcast@gmail.com
9 Jul 2025
Episode 5 | The Emotional Toll of Awakening
Awakening isn't always light and clarity. Sometimes it's heartbreak. Sometimes it's sacred rage. Sometimes it's feeling so overwhelmed by the state of the world that you don't know how to keep going, but you do anyway.
In this episode of Cosmic Mess, we talk about the emotional and spiritual cost of being conscious in a world that thrives on disconnection.
This is for the ones who can't unsee what they've seen and are trying to stay soft anyway.
We explore:
Sacred rage + spiritual violence
The fog of not knowing what to do
Losing people as you set boundaries
The energetic imbalance of masculine/feminine paradigms
Nervous system burnout and somatic tools
The 7 activist archetypes (and how you show up)
Why rest and presence are radical acts of resistance
If you're feeling like it's too much, you're not broken.
You're awake. And that is sacred.
🛑 Trigger warnings: mentions of systemic injustice + cruelty (no graphic detail), spiritual violence + performative politics, personal experiences of burnout, fatigue, and emotional overwhelm, body disconnection and nervous system survival, grief, boundary loss, and relational trauma
Please listen gently. Take breaks. Come back when you're ready. 💛
📩 Contact & Connect
DM me on Instagram: @cosmicmesspodcast or @monica.elzbieta
Or reach out via email: cosmicmesspodcast@gmail.com
💌 Resources, archetypes, and transcripts available at @cosmicmesspodcast on Instagram.
Monica Elzbieta shares her experiences with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Major Depressive Disorder, addressing the shame and challenges of self-advocacy within the medical system, offering insights into reclaiming trust in one's body; this is a personal reflection.
25 Jun 2025
Episode 3 | Movement for the Messy Body
Monica Elzbieta interviews Amy’rie about movement, intuitive eating, diet culture, and body trust, exploring how to move without shame and find healing through joyful movement.
18 Jun 2025
Episode 1 | Welcome to the Mess
Host Monica Elzbieta shares the podcast's origin story, delving into body image, spiritual healing, and neurodivergence, offering listeners permission to embrace their authentic selves.
18 Jun 2025
Episode 2 | The Myth of the Worthy Body
Monica Elzbieta explores the damaging myth of the "worthy body," sharing personal experiences with dieting and body image struggles to help listeners reclaim their bodies from societal pressures in this episode.
Reach and audience
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Apple Podcasts (US)
5.0 / 5
2 ratings
Podcast Authority Score: 45 / 100
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Quality
58
Social presence
91
YouTube
0
Engagement
32
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