- 19
- Episodes
- 2024
- First episode
About Cowgirl @ Core
Imagine you're going to a stand-up and instead of a comedian, you'll get a cowgirl yapping into a corded microphone about everything life entails and the nothing of it all. Cowgirl @ Core is a Substack publication, Bonnie Orbison's online diary, where she shares her writings, poetry, fictional stories, on dating rockstars, living in Paris, and dealing with grief. howdybonnie.substack.com (https://howdybonnie.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast)
- Publisher
- Bonnie Orbison
- Category
- comedy · society & culture
- Language
- en
- Explicit
- Yes
- First episode
- 16 Oct 2024
- Latest episode
- 29 Jun 2026
Latest episodes
19 episodes in the feed.
29 Jun 2026
Notes App Receipt: car repair, funeral notes and poetry confessions
Introducing a series of 21 days of free-talking, sometimes with a plan, discovering the first five minutes of a conversation will show you where it’s heading towards. Bonnie (http://instagram.com/bonnieorbison/) takes you through her Notes App in this episode, exploring the many Julys that have come before, in order to find the poem of the month for … you guessed it right; July! She’s talking about her annual poetry end-of-year calendar, how much work gets put in, and how she’s tired of seeing so many poems still being unseen through only having a small selection to hand! 20% off, so I get paid even less than a latte ☀️ 🤠 (http://howdybonnie.substack.com/subscribe) In this episode, Bonnie mentions following essays and poems from her Substack: but i guess cause if you’re a role in my life, you’re hope (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/but-i-guess-cause-if-youre-a-role) the metamorphosis of my unmet dreams (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/the-metamorphosis-of-my-unmet-dreams) poem: the last sonata (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/the-last-sonata) + her rom-com novel “It was her (https://thecrylounge.com/store/it-was-her)” :) available as physical hardback or e-book Imagine you're going to a stand-up and instead of a comedian, you'll get a cowgirl yapping into a corded microphone about everything life entails and the nothing of it all. Cowgirl @ Core (https://howdybonnie.substack.com) is a Substack publication, Bonnie Orbison's online diary, where she shares her writings, poetry, fictional stories, on dating rockstars, living in Paris, and dealing with grief. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit howdybonnie.substack.com/subscribe (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2)
21 Jun 2026
We all wait for a break
Introducing a series of 21 days of free-talking, sometimes with a plan, discovering the first five minutes of a conversation will show you where it’s heading towards. Bonnie (http://instagram.com/bonnieorbison/) talks about waiting in this episode, how everything in life ends in death, and at the end of the day, we do all wait for death, generally speaking we don’t allow ourselves as a society to rest without being productive, and it doesn’t matter if you’re waiting in line, queue, for love and for a promotion, patience is the virtue of life. 20% off, so I get paid even less than a latte ☀️ 🤠 (http://howdybonnie.substack.com/subscribe) Imagine you're going to a stand-up and instead of a comedian, you'll get a cowgirl yapping into a corded microphone about everything life entails and the nothing of it all. Cowgirl @ Core (https://howdybonnie.substack.com) is a Substack publication, Bonnie Orbison's online diary, where she shares her writings, poetry, fictional stories, on dating rockstars, living in Paris, and dealing with grief. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit howdybonnie.substack.com/subscribe (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2)
9 Jun 2026
Hope is a Scary Thing (not featuring a rant on Off Campus :(
Introducing a series of 21 days of free-talking, sometimes with a plan, discovering the first five minutes of a conversation will show you where it’s heading towards. Bonnie (http://instagram.com/bonnieorbison/) talks about hope in this episode, listening to sad music (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/the-b-side-of-my-life?utm_source=publication-search) while yearning for a better life (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/the-b-side-of-my-life?utm_source=publication-search), realising you’re always gonna spend time with yourself (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/the-lingering-of-the-morning-after?utm_source=publication-search), no matter where you are in the world (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/poem-when-i-let-myself-fall-onto-this-earth?utm_source=publication-search) or if you’re with somebody or not (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/the-luck-of-feeling-loneliness?utm_source=publication-search), and that forever (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/steinbeck-21-forever?utm_source=publication-search) and ever two feelings (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/the-transition-from-track-10-to-11?utm_source=publication-search) can exist at the same time!! PS: Legend Carol Ades, whose song is “Hope is a Scary Thing”, listen to my podcast interview with her :) (https://www.bonnieslegends.com/p/carol-ades-better-than-you-found-me-interview) 20% off, so I get paid even less than a latte ☀️ 🤠 (http://howdybonnie.substack.com/subscribe) In this episode, Bonnie reads from following essays and poems from her Substack: but i guess cause if you’re a role in my life, you’re hope (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/but-i-guess-cause-if-youre-a-role) a testament to love (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/a-testament-to-love?utm_source=publication-search) no cowboy could ever achieve this in my heart (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/no-cowboy-could-ever-achieve-this-in-my-heart?utm_source=publication-search) how are you? * (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/how-are-you-sigh)sigh (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/how-are-you-sigh)* (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/how-are-you-sigh) the metamorphosis of my unmet dreams (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/the-metamorphosis-of-my-unmet-dreams) love leaves pathways for those who are left to walk upon (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/love-leaves-pathways-for-those-who) ‘No one expected me. No one awaited me.’ (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/no-one-expected-me-everything-awaited) + her rom-com novel “It was her (https://thecrylounge.com/store/it-was-her)” :) availabel as physical hardback or e-book Imagine you're going to a stand-up and instead of a comedian, you'll get a cowgirl yapping into a corded microphone about everything life entails and the nothing of it all. Cowgirl @ Core (https://howdybonnie.substack.com) is a Substack publication, Bonnie Orbison's online diary, where she shares her writings, poetry, fictional stories, on dating rockstars, living in Paris, and dealing with grief. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit howdybonnie.substack.com/subscribe (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2)
5 Jun 2026
Confessions on the Dancefloor
Introducing a series of 21 days of free-talking, sometimes with a plan, discovering the first five minutes of a conversation will show you where it’s heading towards. Bonnie (http://instagram.com/bonnieorbison/) talks about dancing in the club in this episode, going to the club (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/haunting-you-with-my-writing-and?utm_source=publication-search), making connections on the dancefloor (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/video-butterflies-flying-around-the), she left her hometown for exactly this reason (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/the-life-i-dream-of-awaits-me-once?utm_source=publication-search), and why other people do too (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/no-one-expected-me-everything-awaited?utm_source=publication-search), she wants to dance (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/at-17-cowboys-were-cowards?utm_source=publication-search), so make everything happen (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/pretty-in-paris?utm_source=publication-search) all at once!! In the previous episode, she talked about clubbing too (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/i-wanna-hear-the-club-classics), check it out :) Imagine you're going to a stand-up and instead of a comedian, you'll get a cowgirl yapping into a corded microphone about everything life entails and the nothing of it all. Cowgirl @ Core (https://howdybonnie.substack.com) is a Substack publication, Bonnie Orbison's online diary, where she shares her writings, poetry, fictional stories, on dating rockstars, living in Paris, and dealing with grief. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit howdybonnie.substack.com/subscribe (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2)
3 Jun 2026
I wanna hear the club classics!
Introducing a series of 21 days of free-talking, sometimes with a plan, discovering the first five minutes of a conversation will show you where it’s heading towards. Bonnie (http://instagram.com/bonnieorbison/) talks about going out-culture (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/elderflower-girls?utm_source=publication-search) in this episode, going to the club (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/haunting-you-with-my-writing-and?utm_source=publication-search), being selective (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/to-not-be-there-for-her-to-be-there?utm_source=publication-search) over what music is being played (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/pretty-in-paris?utm_source=publication-search), how generally music taste (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/no-cowboy-could-ever-achieve-this-in-my-heart?utm_source=publication-search) plays a big role (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/cowboys-are-more-rememberable-than?utm_source=publication-search) in Bonnie’s life, and Bonnie doesn’t wanna drink (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/the-random-station-hugs?utm_source=publication-search) and hook up (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/flame-on-fire?utm_source=publication-search), she wants to dance (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/at-17-cowboys-were-cowards?utm_source=publication-search), so get your ass up onto the dancefloor (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/video-butterflies-flying-around-the)!! Bonnie talks a lot about Bob Dylan in this episode, listen to the Dylan-themed episode too! (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/does-bob-dylan-actually-exist?r=n3wgx) Imagine you're going to a stand-up and instead of a comedian, you'll get a cowgirl yapping into a corded microphone about everything life entails and the nothing of it all. Cowgirl @ Core (https://howdybonnie.substack.com) is a Substack publication, Bonnie Orbison's online diary, where she shares her writings, poetry, fictional stories, on dating rockstars, living in Paris, and dealing with grief. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit howdybonnie.substack.com/subscribe (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2)
1 Jun 2026
I want to believe (aka The X-Files); love's a religion, and so is David Bowie
Introducing a series of 21 days of free-talking, sometimes with a plan, discovering the first five minutes of a conversation will show you where it’s heading towards. Bonnie (http://instagram.com/bonnieorbison/) talks about believing and oddly, The X-Files in this episode, touching upon more the topic of death and funerals, how grief shapes your future, believing in spiritual prayers and seeing ghosts, how The X-Files bring so perfectly out the hold of beliefs and the more specific they are to you, the better you know yourself. This episode is part three of a three-part series discussing religion as its concept. Here’s part one (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/are-people-inherently-good-or-bad), and here’s the second (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/oh-my-god-the-bible-is-responsible). Bonnie didn’t mention, but highly recommends you to check out The X-Files related Substack sculder and mully (https://open.substack.com/pub/sculderandmully) !!! she loooves to read their writing! Imagine you're going to a stand-up and instead of a comedian, you'll get a cowgirl yapping into a corded microphone about everything life entails and the nothing of it all. Cowgirl @ Core (https://howdybonnie.substack.com) is a Substack publication, Bonnie Orbison's online diary, where she shares her writings, poetry, fictional stories, on dating rockstars, living in Paris, and dealing with grief. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit howdybonnie.substack.com/subscribe (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2)
30 May 2026
*Oh My God! the Bible is responsible for the publishing industry??*
Introducing a series of 21 days of free-talking, sometimes with a plan, discovering the first five minutes of a conversation will show you where it’s heading towards. Bonnie (http://instagram.com/bonnieorbison/) talks about religion and biblical references and images in today’s art in this episode, reading her poem “flame on fire (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/flame-on-fire?utm_source=publication-search)” to showcase one of her many examples including writing on the devil (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/at-17-cowboys-were-cowards?utm_source=publication-search)/hell (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/aliens-from-next-door?utm_source=publication-search)/heaven (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/my-heart-is-my-heaven?utm_source=publication-search)/jesus (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/hit-by-a-car?utm_source=publication-search), more visual references including an analysis of Bones And All (https://www.bonnieslegends.com/p/navita-glittered-hell), we always have told stories (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/poem-1-always-wait-on-you-to-call?utm_source=publication-search) and forwarded them with people retelling them with their own sight of it, and how every piece of art is being interpreted differently (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/2023-empty-pages-filled-b48?utm_source=publication-search); there’s no way to determine what’s right (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/cream-butterflies-following-alongside?utm_source=publication-search) or wrong (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/we-writers-do-feel-this-way-all-the?utm_source=publication-search), especially when the author, ‘the creator (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/wreck-my-sundays-love?utm_source=publication-search)’, has been dead for centurie (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/you-think-wuthering-heights-was-about?utm_source=publication-search)s. This episode is part two of a three-part series discussing religion as its concept. Here’s part one (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/are-people-inherently-good-or-bad), and here’s the next and final part. Bonnie also mentions a poem called “woman with no appetite” due to its refrences, you can listen to a more depth podcast episode on it and read the poem here. (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/woman-with-no-appetite) Imagine you're going to a stand-up and instead of a comedian, you'll get a cowgirl yapping into a corded microphone about everything life entails and the nothing of it all. Cowgirl @ Core (https://howdybonnie.substack.com) is a Substack publication, Bonnie Orbison's online diary, where she shares her writings, poetry, fictional stories, on dating rockstars, living in Paris, and dealing with grief. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit howdybonnie.substack.com/subscribe (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2)
28 May 2026
Are people inherently good or bad?
Introducing a series of 21 days of free-talking, sometimes with a plan, discovering the first five minutes of a conversation will show you where it’s heading towards. Bonnie (http://instagram.com/bonnieorbison/) talks about religion and her upbringing in this episode, going to catholic school (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/to-sometimes-be-fine-with-not-understanding?utm_source=publication-search) as a protestant, funerals (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/the-year-i-pretended-to-not-care?utm_source=publication-search) souring the experience of Christmas services (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/packing-list-for-funerals?utm_source=publication-search), how her fascination for the bible (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/crimes-and-liaisons?utm_source=publication-search) came from the fact that it was a story with recurring characters (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/a-testament-to-love?utm_source=publication-search), and when she eventually realised that religion can be whatever the fuck you want it to be (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/its-been-all-a-mistake-im-alive-im?utm_source=publication-search); how there is religion (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/art-is-a-praying-silence-for-a-longing?utm_source=publication-search) in whatever you believe in. Imagine you're going to a stand-up and instead of a comedian, you'll get a cowgirl yapping into a corded microphone about everything life entails and the nothing of it all. Cowgirl @ Core (https://howdybonnie.substack.com) is a Substack publication, Bonnie Orbison's online diary, where she shares her writings, poetry, fictional stories, on dating rockstars, living in Paris, and dealing with grief. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit howdybonnie.substack.com/subscribe (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2)
27 May 2026
Elderflower Girls; a poem on friendship breakups & going out culture
Introducing a series of 21 days of free-talking, sometimes with a plan, discovering the first five minutes of a conversation will show you where it’s heading towards. Bonnie (http://instagram.com/bonnieorbison/) reads you her new poem “Elderflower Girls (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/elderflower-girls)” in this episode, reminiscing on a toxic friendship (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/to-not-be-there-for-her-to-be-there) and its disasters (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/jerks-playing-joker-karma), how going out (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/the-random-station-hugs) and dating (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/maybe-were-the-ghosts) soured the friendship, as well as made Bonnie realise how this friend is not rooting for her (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/mental-pleasure-denial) anymore (if she ever did! (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/consulting-the-dreamer-in-me)), and shares a few more writing pieces (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/a-bruise-always-heals) she’s been publishing since last January (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/haunting-you-with-my-writing-and). Imagine you're going to a stand-up and instead of a comedian, you'll get a cowgirl yapping into a corded microphone about everything life entails and the nothing of it all. Cowgirl @ Core (https://howdybonnie.substack.com) is a Substack publication, Bonnie Orbison's online diary, where she shares her writings, poetry, fictional stories, on dating rockstars, living in Paris, and dealing with grief. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit howdybonnie.substack.com/subscribe (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2)
26 May 2026
Does Bob Dylan actually exist?
Introducing a series of 21 days of free-talking, sometimes with a plan, discovering the first five minutes of a conversation will show you where it’s heading towards. Bonnie (http://instagram.com/bonnieorbison/) talks about the one topic (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/pretty-in-paris?utm_source=publication-search) she can talk forever (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/tim-?utm_source=publication-search) about and everyone who’s ever met her (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/the-year-i-pretended-to-not-care?utm_source=publication-search) can confirm; Bob Dylan in this episode, on his 85th birthday (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/no-cowboy-could-ever-achieve-this-in-my-heart?utm_source=publication-search), she reminisces spending her entire life (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/2021?utm_source=publication-search) with his music, sobbing to Bob (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/sobbing-to-bob?utm_source=publication-search) at 18 unsure where her life (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/surrendering-once-again?utm_source=publication-search) is going, how he connects with her (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/everythings-somehow?utm_source=publication-search) early obsessions with Supertramp (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/screaming-superstar?utm_source=publication-search), Johnny Cash (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/at-17-cowboys-were-cowards?utm_source=publication-search), John Fogerty (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/motel-room-bewitched?utm_source=publication-search) and Queen (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/hold-my-hand-a-transaction-that-lasts?utm_source=publication-search), and how his hair is very much better-looking than Mozart’s wigs (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/kiss-for-breakfast?utm_source=publication-search). Imagine you're going to a stand-up and instead of a comedian, you'll get a cowgirl yapping into a corded microphone about everything life entails and the nothing of it all. Cowgirl @ Core (https://howdybonnie.substack.com) is a Substack publication, Bonnie Orbison's online diary, where she shares her writings, poetry, fictional stories, on dating rockstars, living in Paris, and dealing with grief. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit howdybonnie.substack.com/subscribe (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2)
22 May 2026
Um ... hmm ... well ... err; when to speak and when to shut up!
Introducing a series of 21 days of free-talking, sometimes with a plan, discovering the first five minutes of a conversation will show you where it’s heading towards. Bonnie (http://instagram.com/bonnieorbison/) talks about the impact of silence in this episode, asking the question where phone calls (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/screaming-superstar) have gone in our society, family dinner (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/cream-butterflies-following-alongside) etiquettes and TV/YouTube on in the background, how to move on from uncomfortable conversations, (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/trying-to-play-nonchalant) when all you want is to disappear in the ground (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/a-broken-vase-now), and why it’s so important to be able to sit with your own thoughts (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/the-transition-from-track-10-to-11) without any distraction (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/no-one-expected-me-everything-awaited) coming from our phones, any other screens or people. Imagine you're going to a stand-up and instead of a comedian, you'll get a cowgirl yapping into a corded microphone about everything life entails and the nothing of it all. Cowgirl @ Core (https://howdybonnie.substack.com) is a Substack publication, Bonnie Orbison's online diary, where she shares her writings, poetry, fictional stories, on dating rockstars, living in Paris, and dealing with grief. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit howdybonnie.substack.com/subscribe (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2)
21 May 2026
Why are human beings replacing themselves?
Introducing a series of 21 days of free-talking, sometimes with a plan, discovering the first five minutes of a conversation will show you where it’s heading towards. Bonnie (http://instagram.com/bonnieorbison/) talks about AI and her opinion on its impact in this episode, why she’d prefered to text her ex-situationship (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/the-luck-of-feeling-loneliness?utm_source=publication-search) than an AI agent, Artificial Intelligence (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/the-finite?utm_source=publication-search) not being a living creature (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/the-phantom-feeling-of-touch-september?utm_source=publication-search) and people treating it as such, to be friends and a sibling (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/fix-water?utm_source=publication-search) to people who use/+ work with AI, but feeling no urge to force (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/steinbeck-21-forever?utm_source=publication-search) people to share her opinion, and how at the end of the day (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/can-i-surrender?utm_source=publication-search), it’s still human beings who are deciding to destroy our planet (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/aliens-from-next-door?utm_source=publication-search). Imagine you're going to a stand-up and instead of a comedian, you'll get a cowgirl yapping into a corded microphone about everything life entails and the nothing of it all. Cowgirl @ Core (https://howdybonnie.substack.com) is a Substack publication, Bonnie Orbison's online diary, where she shares her writings, poetry, fictional stories, on dating rockstars, living in Paris, and dealing with grief. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit howdybonnie.substack.com/subscribe (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2)
20 May 2026
Nobody puts The Godfather in the corner
Introducing a series of 21 days of free-talking, sometimes with a plan, discovering the first five minutes of a conversation will show you where it's heading towards. Bonnie (http://instagram.com/bonnieorbison/) talks all about films in this episode, taking pleasure (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/mental-pleasure-denial?utm_source=publication-search) in rewatching her favorites, especially her annual rewatch marathon of The Godfather (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/crimes-and-liaisons?utm_source=publication-search) triology, how to be more present (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/poem-when-i-let-myself-fall-onto-this-earth?utm_source=publication-search) during the act and as a writer how a script is written determines the performance of the actors (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/haunting-you-with-my-writing-and?utm_source=publication-search), directors and everyone involved, and mentions films such as Basic Instinct (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/no-cowboy-could-ever-achieve-this-in-my-heart?utm_source=publication-search), Picture Perfect (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/life-feels-pretty-good?utm_source=publication-search), Dirty Dancing (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/daisys-been-a-good-cowgirl-just-a?utm_source=publication-search) and why we return to those that we're the most familiar with. Imagine you're going to a stand-up and instead of a comedian, you'll get a cowgirl yapping into a corded microphone about everything life entails and the nothing of it all. Cowgirl @ Core (https://howdybonnie.substack.com) is a Substack publication, Bonnie Orbison's online diary, where she shares her writings, poetry, fictional stories, on dating rockstars, living in Paris, and dealing with grief. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit howdybonnie.substack.com/subscribe (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2)
18 May 2026
there's beauty, there's sh!t, c'est la monde
Introducing a series of 21 days of free-talking, sometimes with a plan, discovering the first five minutes of a conversation will show you where it's heading towards. Bonnie (http://instagram.com/bonnieorbison/) talks about what to do with a shitty week in this episode, how to get out of bed if you can only think about death (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/you-think-wuthering-heights-was-about), the 80s (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/my-heart-is-my-heaven) weren't better or worse than the modern day and constantly rating (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/how-are-you-sigh) and tracking (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/surrendering-once-again) everything in your day-to-day is not gonna fix your seasonal depression (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/somewhere-in-grass-reading), expressing your feelings freely and how anger and violence (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/hand-in-hand-waves) always ends in sadness (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/love-leaves-pathways-for-those-who). PS: There are some nice ASMR rain sounds audible throughout the episode. Imagine you're going to a stand-up and instead of a comedian, you'll get a cowgirl yapping into a corded microphone about everything life entails and the nothing of it all. Cowgirl @ Core (https://howdybonnie.substack.com) is a Substack publication, Bonnie Orbison's online diary, where she shares her writings, poetry, fictional stories, on dating rockstars, living in Paris, and dealing with grief. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit howdybonnie.substack.com/subscribe (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2)
17 May 2026
time is a concept; you're not wasted
Introducing a series of 21 days of free-talking, sometimes with a plan, discovering the first five minutes of a conversation will show you where it's heading towards. Bonnie (http://instagram.com/bonnieorbison/) talks about the concept of time in this one, being young and visionful, trying to break the external pressure of "having it figured out" (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/mitgefuhl-with-feeling) and moving to Paris (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/pretty-in-paris), a new foreign city in a new country, how solo-travel (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/no-one-expected-me-everything-awaited) has prepared her for this and how there's no such thing as lost potential (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/p/arent-i-supposed-to-like-myself). Imagine you're going to a stand-up and instead of a comedian, you'll get a cowgirl yapping into a corded microphone about everything life entails and the nothing of it all. Cowgirl @ Core (https://howdybonnie.substack.com) is a Substack publication, Bonnie Orbison's online diary, where she shares her writings, poetry, fictional stories, on dating rockstars, living in Paris, and dealing with grief. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit howdybonnie.substack.com/subscribe (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2)
15 Apr 2026
Premiere video à Paris!!
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit howdybonnie.substack.com (https://howdybonnie.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_7) Enjoy this video (or listen to it as a podcast episode) coming live to you from my first evening in my place in Paris!! I feel like so much time is on my mind and there’s so much space in front of me for my future, talking about gratitude and how I have actually moved now without having a reason, after trying with reasons all these years before. Because…
24 Mar 2026
a bruise always heals.
you can always subscribe through my website and receive more accessible pricing, and get delivered the printed newspaper to your door :) (https://thecrylounge.com/store/p/howdy-bonnie-online-diary) when i’m absent from publishing on here, my mind never leaves. i’ve started this substack five years ago on new year’s! five years of reflections, musings, confessions and everything else that i let you be part of from my 16-21th years of life. october always makes me reflective. my years technically start in november. my years start over every month. every other week. i know time is made-up and non-linear. i can start over whenever. i dreamt of my ex recently. i was in his living room and my ex-best friend also happened to be there. the way it was mostly. i talked, but whenever i spoke up, it went unnoticed. i woke up feeling like i’m untrue, i’m cruel on recounting the memories of that short-lived relationship. but life keeps changing. things get more far away from each other with each minute. and memories grow into the shapes we choose to keep them. and everyone fucking does it. so why do i feel so guilty? tomorrow, a year ago, i’ve boarded my overseas flight to washington, dc. the rewinding of those memories is starting. a yearning for a plane to take me somewhere far away. the gratitude i’m trying to practice for the person i am gonna be this year on october 9, 2025. i’m in dire need for financial support at the moment. the amount of bills i’m hurriyng to cancel before being charged and the ones i totally didn’t account for. truth is that states trip made me terribly broke. lots of optimism and good thoughts were in that bonnie. she told everyone ‘i’m moving to paris next march and get three different jobs to be able to afford the city life’. so all my savings went into the “trip of my lifetime” everyone called it so sweetly. for me, it was more an “introduction” trip. entrance to what exactly? i’m still trying to figure that out. so for the last nine months, i have lived back at home, scratched a weekend trip now and then. truth be told though, my birthday trip shouldn’t have happened. i encountere very amazing people, but my battery was running on low mode the entire time. and after a year of five funerals, two other deaths, a breakup and dozens of friendship breakups that have knived my heart better than any romantic partner ever. frankly, you don’t fucking say! i’ve been reminiscing on that birthday trip, the 10 days in London, for this last week. maybe only the last 48 hours. regardless, i have thought a lot on it. i refuse to regret it. all my life i’ve tried to transform regret into a lesson, an eye-opening experience or a simple reversable mistake. that’s right. i believe those mistakes are all reversable, yes, they led me to where i am right now, they were never weird or “life-changing”. a bruise always heals. so does regret. once time passed for an unaccounted weight, it’ll melt with all the other candles of past lived moments. i wasn’t supposed to be in london on my 21st birthday. when i cried into my friend’s shirt sleeve at 5.30pm, that’s what it tried to tell me. and when the next morning, i laid on the floor of euston station. and when a conversation with a sweet old woman didn’t glow me up, i knew i wasn’t supposed to be there. and i still happened to be there. outside my friend’s workplace, confessing my heart’s complaints. on the mopped floor of euston station, without control over my body or mind. in the auditorium, listening carefully to the woman’s stories. and maybe my friend was glad that i was vulnerable with her, maybe i showed someone that they could survive whatever they were so worried about, maybe the woman hadn’t had someone listen to her talk in a very long while. maybe the nashville flight ads i kept seeing everywhere inside the london tube and around the boroughs i crawled through were a clear sign to finally go for it. that i don’t require a few years living in the european city of everyone’s dreams. that i don’t require to have slept around just to know what i want in love, agreed. that i don’t require to always be the one that keeps in touch, they can call too!? that i don’t require to be a certain way just to even allow myself to go for it. make a run for it. chase the life, the place, the person, the job, i want to live in. and maybe that’s exactly why i am where i am right now. I actually move to Paris now in less than a month, not as a requirement for my future life, but to live my future life. How so much can change in the time span of a very cold Winter. You wanna hear more from my future life, … This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit howdybonnie.substack.com/subscribe (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2)
28 Nov 2025
Kill your darling!
Looking for a writer’s group meeting three times a week to put pen on paper and explore unknown fantasy worlds together? My Writing Club (https://thecrylounge.com/store/p/writing-club) welcomes you warmly! Howdy! Every year I seem to make one of these videos where I update you generally on what’s to come and what’s going on in my writer’s life. In this one specifically, I discuss the highly recommended advice “kill your dalings” and what my take on it is, approaching the ending of my novella and how bittersweet it all feels to grow out of characters you once based on yourself. On November 30th, my poetry advent calendar starts! Every day, you receive a poem I’ve written this year until Christmas Day! Make sure you’re subscribed to receive the very first one already on Sunday :) If you wanna explore last years’ poetry calendars, be my guest: There will be exciting announcements and giveaways alongside the calendar, so definitely make sure to be on the list and share with your poetry-loving friends! This also makes a great Christmas present, if you’re looking around for one! See you soon!! Bonnie PS: Yes, I already wish you a wonderful 2026 at the end of this video, cause I’m not sure inspiration for another face-showing video is gonna strike me until the end of the year hehe. As always, you can upgrade your membership on my website. It’s an one-off payment, no recurring charges, and you can choose whatever time period suits you the best. Starting from one week’s access of 3€. (https://thecrylounge.com/store/p/howdy-bonnie-online-diary) This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit howdybonnie.substack.com/subscribe (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2)
16 Oct 2024
update + what's come :)
Yesterday, it was my 5th anniversary of calling myself Bonnie Orbison + end of last week it was three years ago since I wrote my very first creative non-fiction essay “What Are Feelings Anyway?” and the cowboy stood me up for the first time. Enjoy this update video (also available as podcast!) and let me know what you are up to + how you’ve been, my dear reader. What’s to come: * pressing publish on a few of my 150 hoarded drafts that I’ve written over the past three years of maintaining this Substack * resharing published diary entires from here with new commentary * 50% off sale throughout November * December’s Poetry Advent Calendar (24 poems, one each day from December 1st until the 24st as always, thank you for being here! i really appreciate you :)) This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit howdybonnie.substack.com/subscribe (https://howdybonnie.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2)
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