Cross‑Eyed Bear is a podcast where pop culture gets pulled apart, stitched back together, and occasionally side‑eyed. Hosts Chris and Tristan dive into movies, music, books, and the moments that shape them—mixing thoughtful analysis with real conversation, unexpected tangents, and the occasional hot take. Whether revisiting classics or unpacking what’s trending now, Cross‑Eyed Bear is for curious minds who like their culture thoughtful, funny, and just a little off‑center.
EPISODE 17: The Book Was Better... Except When It Wasn’t
Great book. Great movie. Sometimes you get both. Sometimes you get The Dark Tower. This week, we talk about the best and worst book-to-movie adaptations, including Jurassic Park, Fight Club, The Lord of the Rings, American Psycho, Odd Thomas, and more, while somehow finding time to argue about Peter Jackson, Ron Howard, Kirsten Dunst, and whether Tom Cruise should ever be allowed near Robert Langdon. Send us Fan Mail
28 Oct 2026
EPISODE 16: We Have Such Kills to Show You
Axes, razor wire, bread slicers, Cenobites, Freddy Krueger, and somehow a velociraptor claw. This week, we’re counting down our favorite horror movie kills and talking about the creativity, filmmaking, and pure WTF factor that make some deaths impossible to forget. Send us Fan Mail
22 Oct 2026
EPISODE 15: Spooky Season Has Entered the Chat
It’s October, so naturally we’re heading straight into the dark. We debate what actually makes a great horror movie, question whether The Silence of the Lambs even counts as horror, defend some classics, trash a few sacred cows, and reveal our favorite horror movies that everyone has seen and the ones almost nobody has. From A Nightmare on Elm Street and The Exorcist to Carnival of Souls and The Empty Man, we’re digging into the movies that scared us, surprised us, and occasionally made us wo...
15 Oct 2026
EPISODE 14: Ari Aster, Please Return Our Calls
Give two movie nerds one simple question: Who should score a movie that hasn’t been made yet? Naturally, 50 minutes later we’ve resurrected Blockbuster, hired Ari Aster, cast Henry Cavill as Dracula, handed Björk an orchestra, put The Mars Volta behind a psychological horror film, and started looking for someone foolish enough to finance our cinematic ambitions. What could possibly go wrong? Hollywood, call us. Send us Fan Mail
26 Sept 2026
Episode 13: Harrison Ford Could've Played That Too
We return from another Murphy's-Law-induced hiatus to tackle the impossible question: Was anyone cooler than Harrison Ford? Along the way, we debate Ford as Hannibal Lecter (absolutely not), Jack Torrance (maybe?), and discover he could've stolen half of Val Kilmer's filmography if he'd felt like it. Between Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Blade Runner, and The Fugitive, the conversation somehow detours through Modesto, Ewoks, Donald Glover's perfect Lando, and whether Ford has spent more time figh...
8 Sept 2026
EPISODE 12: There Is No Dana, Only Tangents - Ghostbusters, Side Quests, and Ivan Reitman
We came, we saw, we kicked Ivan Reitman’s filmography apart one category at a time. In this episode of Cross-Eyed Bear, we celebrate the legendary director and producer behind Ghostbusters, Twins, and Kindergarten Cop, while debating whether his greatest talent was making movies or bringing together the people who did. Along the way, we champion Rick Moranis, relive Bill Murray’s ad-libbed brilliance, argue over movie soundtracks, and take our usual collection of completely unnecessary but hi...
3 Sept 2026
EPISODE 11: Don't You Forget About Hughes
"Bueller... Bueller...?" This week, Cross-Eyed Bear dives headfirst into the films of John Hughes, celebrating 40 years of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. From fist pumps in detention to booby-trapped houses and giant pancakes, we rank the best heroes, villains, music cues, and movies from one of the defining storytellers of the 1980s, while setting the stage for a showdown with Ivan Reitman in Part 2. Send us Fan Mail
10 Aug 2026
EPISODE 10: Chicken, Chainsaws, and The Long Walk to Pollo Lucas
Broadcasting from a chicken joint in Mexico while dealing with the aftermath of a months-long insurance saga, we dive into our favorite road trip movies, from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas and Tommy Boy to Planes, Trains & Automobiles and Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Along the way, we debate horror remakes, celebrate John Candy's legacy, lament the death of movie references, and somehow end up arguing about The Dark Tower. The only real lesson? Don't get in a car accident in Mexico... but if...
14 Jul 2026
EPISODE 9: The Robot Apocalypse vs. President Camacho
This week, we solve absolutely nothing while tackling the important questions: Are we closer to The Terminator, Idiocracy, or a future where your AI assistant becomes your best friend and judges your life choices? Armed with movie trivia, questionable science, and just enough paranoia to warrant a tinfoil hat, we debate robot uprisings, zombie apocalypses, social credit scores, and whether Idiocracy has quietly stopped being a comedy and started becoming a documentary. Along the way, we defen...
10 Jul 2026
EPISODE "8.5": Interlude – Victims of Their Own Success
In this short interlude episode, the guys revisit the surprisingly heated debate over their Albums That Changed Music lists before diving into things that burned bright and crashed hard—from Beanie Babies and tulip mania to Francis Ford Coppola's career highs and lows. Along the way, they detour through great films, epic fight scenes, pilgrimage walks across Spain, and why sometimes success can be the very thing that does you in. Short, sweet, and wonderfully off the rails Send us Fan Mail
27 Jun 2026
EPISODE 8: Take My Brother Ray: The Albums That Changed Music
What do Eminem’s emotional spiral, disco’s strut, and Beyoncé’s surprise album drop have in common? Apparently… everything. In this episode of Cross-Eyed Bear, the guys dive headfirst into the albums that didn’t just top charts—they changed the entire game. From parental advisory panic and punk revivals to DIY artists flipping the industry on its head, it’s a nostalgic, occasionally chaotic debate over what really moved music forward. Expect hot takes (some questionable), deep cuts, and a few...
16 Jun 2026
EPISODE 7: This Is Why We’re Like This - The Origin Stories Nobody Asked For
In this episode of Cross-Eyed Bear, Tristan and Chris dive into the movies and music that quietly (and sometimes violently) shaped who they are. What starts as a simple top-five list quickly spirals into a nostalgia-heavy ride through Back to the Future, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, horror movie trauma, and the soundtracks that rewired their brains. Along the way, they connect oddly specific dots—Zemeckis and Silvestri collaborations, childhood movie moments that hit way too hard, and the albums ...
21 May 2026
EPISODE 6: Three Weeks to Live… and You Haven’t Seen Maverick?
In this episode, Chris learns that Tristan commits the ultimate cinematic sin—never having seen Top Gun: Maverick—and is immediately put on trial for “hating joy.” From sneaking a suspicious amount of booze into movie theaters (including a teriyaki bottle of rum… yes, really) to debating the purity of popcorn toppings like it’s a moral issue, things spiral quickly. Then, naturally, the conversation pivots to the end of the world. Would you road trip to safety, bunker down with your family, or...
5 May 2026
EPISODE 5: May the Score Be With You
This episode of Cross‑Eyed Bear starts with a questionable Kathleen Turner impression and somehow rockets straight into a galaxy far, far away. Chris and Tristan celebrate May the 4th by unpacking Star Wars obsession, parenting mistakes (taking infants to Return of the Jedi), and why movie scores matter way more than we admit. From John Williams’ iconic fanfares to heated debates over the greatest film composer of all time (spoiler: Alan Silvestri gets a passionate defense), the conversation ...
29 Apr 2026
EPISODE 4: Encore or Exit - Go Out on Top (Or Don’t Go Out at All)
Episode four of Cross‑Eyed Bear starts awkwardly (as it should) and quickly spirals into a wide‑ranging debate about artists, bands, filmmakers, and TV shows that either quit too soon—or stubbornly refused to quit at all. Tristan and Chris bounce from Nine Inch Nails to Duran Duran, Donnie Darko, The Office, and everything in between, dissecting reinvention, burnout, legacy, and the fine line between artistic integrity and chasing the paycheck. Hot takes, cult favorites, mild heresy, and...
7 Apr 2026
EPISODE 3: Casting the Tower: Gunslingers, Flanagan, and the McConaissance
In Episode 3 of Cross‑Eyed Bear, Tristan and Chris finally turn their squinty eyes toward Stephen King’s The Dark Tower—the sprawling, genre‑bending epic that dares to ask, “What if a western, fantasy saga, and existential nightmare all shared the same universe?” They break down what the series is, why it’s so beloved (and occasionally exhausting), and why shoving 4,500 pages into a single movie was maybe… not the best idea. From debating Stephen King adaptations (The Shining, Doctor Sleep, a...
26 Mar 2026
EPISODE 2: Buffy, Reboots, and the 90s
Episode 2 dives headfirst into nostalgia, vampires, and the chaos of 90s pop culture. Tristan and Chris (yes—they finally introduce themselves) skip the formalities and jump straight into a lively, opinionated conversation about Buffy the Vampire Slayer. From half‑remembered rewatches and watching Buffy with their parents, to debating whether the show still holds up—and whether Xander would survive the internet today—the hosts explore why Buffy still matters. They unpack the recently scrapped...
17 Mar 2026
EPISODE 1: A Modern Lilith Fair?
In this episode of Cross‑Eyed Bear, Tristan and Chris dive into the legacy of the iconic female‑led festival, sparked by emotional Taylor Swift songs and a little self‑aware podcast banter. They explore Lilith Fair’s cultural impact, debate whether the moment is right for a modern revival, and dream up potential lineups blending ’90s legends with today’s biggest voices. Funny, thoughtful, and slightly ironic, it’s a nostalgic look at music, festivals, and whether lightning can strike twice. S...
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