Well it's not the next episode of our Dawn Misery Poetries. It's just sometimes people need to talk and it's a side story that probably exist.
Turns out this has been published in 2022 before but I drafted it, and it might be drafted it again. Im counting to my mood!!!
8 Jan 2023
ms. gloomy inside
light will not always full with good spirits.
it also carries some dusty sparkle to complete it.
from dark become bright.
from pathetic to lost.
she wrote this to complete the lost path.
and expected a little light to serene the gloomiest.
not brave enough to say no, not brave enough to escape the mist.
but after all, no one wants to live with a beast.
cause its just only in a fairytale myth.
and no one wants to live in a moon. yet, they still need the afternoon.
surprisingly, life can be so tricky.
not always good or bad, but sometimes it turns you on.
doesn’t she cover herself with a mask? and no one knows the inside of the little heart.
it searches for the rotter endocardium, to shatter it.
though, it was never found. cause heart wants what it wants.
9 Aug 2022
A Phase
You know? The time when you run out of tears.
Instead shedding lot of tears, the hormone secretes a lot of adrenaline and cortisols.
I was an eater, but now it all just bitter.
I was alive, for a moment.
Never know someone would give me butterflies.
But, butterfly dies too, right?
Either its getting faded, or just died.
It’s the first flowers that I got,
but it turned out to be the most thing I hate.
Note on the wall, hoping from the beginning it was cute words that long last
Then it comes the time for me to pull it out.
Broke up is never gonna be easy.
“its gonna be fade out.” People say.
but why I’m still here.
Letting myself die through this phase.
Someone has to move on, and the other one dies in potion.
People say love is drivel, but I still believe love is real, I just don’t believe the people.
Why?
I felt the love that I gave, it’s a real love.
But whatever my heart says no,
its always gonna be “the sunset is beautiful, right?”
-and I'm letting you go.
Instrument by : Dizzla D Beats Instrumentals
22 Apr 2022
Hollow
Its empty.
Everything is empty.
There’s nothing left more.
Hopeless, fearless, lifeless, and only weakness.
My path is empty, my eyes are blurry, cause of tears.
Even, when its run out.
This is something that never happened to me before.
And it repeats after it started.
The worst is I do careless to myself.
But it gets used to it.
Indirectly, my body refuses to wake up.
Implicitly, I wish I’d never been born.
But death refused me.
And life rejects me.
Isn’t it ironic?
New path everyday haunts me, it drained me.
How long I could walk into this gloomy aisle?
West, north, east.
Where to go?
Pretend or quiet.
What to choose?
Nothing I can do than continue.
And never know when it ends.
Instrument by : Jurrivh – Emotions
16 Jul 2021
Pain
This pain is still here.
Taking their chances to make me disappear.
And so, last message.
Dear Pain
Please sustain your plans to hurt me.
Let me feel the emptiness.
Let me be swept away by the waves of sadness.
I’m hoping a diver comes for the rescue.
But it's all a lie.
There is no "hope" in my mind.
I feel like I'm on the verge of acridity .
Every day.
It hurts so bad.
Sometimes,
Running in this torturous was very painful.
Cause it's like sticky fate.
Which cannot be separated.
I didn't ask "why".
I didn't find out either.
Just let this pain spreads to all the cells that I have.
Dear pain.
Do I proper to ask why you are exist?
2 Jul 2021
Reverie
Day by day it feels intricated.
It feels like carrying an endless burden.
Calling the rain.
To give my voice freedom to scream.<
This early morning dawn.
Spending time with insomnia.
Eyes are staring the slightly darkness of the dawn.
Head back to the ceiling full with a shadow and memories.
Is this called loneliness?
Like the wind that flies by itself.
Maybe, it will substantial if the morning don't come.
Freezing myself with the passing wind in the bedroom is better.
Than facing the bright sun across the earth.
Let it be.
Let it stay dreadful like this. Dark, and denying the birds chirping outside.
Let me walk in the darkness of the early dawn.
No need light to guide.
Only the river of tears that will give way where will I go.
With a little flash from the shadow.
To the end of my sorrow.
Instrument by : Jurrivh
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