Dear Parents with Phil Boucher, M.D.

About Dear Parents with Phil Boucher, M.D.

Dear Parents is a podcast for parents who want calm, confident guidance grounded in science—not trends, fear, or perfection. Hosted by pediatrician and parent Dr. Phil Boucher, each episode offers practical, real-world insight to help you navigate discipline, behavior, screens, ADHD, and everyday parenting challenges with clarity and confidence. dearparents.substack.com (https://dearparents.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast)

Publisher

Phil Boucher, M.D.

Category

health & fitness · kids & family

Language

en

Explicit

No

First episode

23 Jan 2026

Latest episode

27 Aug 2026

Latest episodes

18 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   27 Aug 2026

   Screen time Impact On Language Development, entering RSV Season, and how to manage croup at home

   Ask Your Question (https://drphilboucher.com/ask) A new JAMA Pediatrics study followed 747 kids from ages 5 to 7,/ Then a study on nirsevimab showing that preventing RSV also prevents antibiotics. And finally, a parent question about croup: what actually helps at 9pm, and why the nebulizer isn't it. What you'll take away A screen metric easier to move than "hours," and a 10% target for this week Why notifications, not willpower, are the first lever to pull RSV & RSV antibodies to prevent hospitalizations AND antibiotic exposure What to do when your child starts barking, and the two signs that mean go in By the numbers Each additional hour of daily primary-parent smartphone use tracked with 0.42 fewer points of annual growth in a child's receptive vocabulary (JAMA Pediatrics, Aug 2026) RSV drives about 57,000 U.S. pediatric hospitalizations and 1.5 million pediatrician visits a year Nirsevimab is 80% to 90% effective at preventing RSV hospitalization. It cut antibiotic prescribing 14.4% for outpatient respiratory infections and 69.4% for RSV hospitalizations (Clinical Infectious Diseases, Aug 2026) Chapters(02:00) The screen time number that isn't your kid's (10:15) Nirsevimab, RSV, and fewer antibiotics (21:40) Parent question: croup at home Links The screen study, JAMA Pediatrics, Aug 2026: https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapediatrics/article-abstract/2852943 (https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapediatrics/article-abstract/2852943) The nirsevimab study, Clinical Infectious Diseases, Aug 2026: https://academic.oup.com/cid/advance-article/doi/10.1093/cid/ciag406/8750980 (https://academic.oup.com/cid/advance-article/doi/10.1093/cid/ciag406/8750980) Ask Dr. B a question (https://drphilboucher.com/ask) This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dearparents.substack.com/subscribe (https://dearparents.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2)

2. 

   20 Aug 2026

   Both Anxious AND Capable at the Same Time

   You Can’t Collaborate With an Anxious Brain Acid blockers and food allergy, SPACE with Robyn Isman, and a wild three-year-old New format this week: one study, one conversation, one listener question. Tell me in the comments if it works. Sponsor: Novaferrum (https://www.novaferrum.com/). Use code NFIG10 for 10% off Comment On This Episode (https://dearparents.substack.com/p/both-anxious-and-capable-at-the-same?r=ajacg&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true) Is my baby’s reflux medicine a problem? (01:20) * What acid suppression changes about the gut, and why the gut is where the immune system gets built * The numbers from a 2025 database study: PPIs in the first year linked to roughly five to six times the rate of food allergy diagnosis, with antibiotics showing a dose-dependent pattern * The stepwise approach I run before I write a prescription: feeding position, milk supply, dairy or soy removal, two weeks at a time * When antibiotics are non-negotiable, and when a one-sided ear infection can safely wait Why isn’t my kid’s anxiety getting better? (09:35)Therapist Robyn Isman built her practice around SPACE, the Yale protocol that treats child anxiety by working only with parents. * What accommodation actually is * Unilateral parental action: you decide, then you tell your child... you don’t ask how they feel about it first * The announcement, and exactly what it sounds like when you change bedtime * Delaying, disengaging, distancing: three ways to hold the line when your kid escalates * Validation plus confidence, and the wording that keeps it from sliding into reassurance: not “I know you can do it,” but “I know you can do it while you’re scared” * Why reminding an anxious kid of past successes usually backfires * Where school avoidance, permissive parenting, and the phone in your kid’s pocket all collided Is my wild three-year-old ADHD? (56:20)A mom asks about her impulsive, intense, transition-hating three-and-a-half-year-old. * Why I don’t diagnose ADHD at this age, and what I look for instead * The sensory-seeking behaviors that get read as defiance: crashing, jumping, oversized hugs, shutting down in noise * Sleep first. Snoring, mouth breathing, restless nights, wired but tired * The short list of labs I’d actually consider, and why I’d call an OT first Our pediatric practice is open to those in Nebraska, Florida, Texas, Illinois, Kansas, and Iowa. We are now in-network with most insurance plans for these types of visits. If you’re looking for a whole-picture evaluation of your child (we obviously do these virtually if you’re not in our neck of the woods!), learn more and schedule at —> https://clinics.frontierpediatric.care (https://clinics.frontierpediatric.care) Links * Sponsor: Novaferrum (https://www.novaferrum.com/). Use code NFIG10 for 10% off * The study: Chaaban MR, Tanzo JT, Thatte S, Kabalan M, Kaelber DC. “Association of Acid-Suppressive Medication and Antimicrobial Use in Infancy with Food Allergy and Anaphylaxis.” Journal of Clinical Medicine, 2025. Free full text: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC12155881/ (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC12155881/) * Robyn Isman: https://www.theanxiouschild.com (https://www.theanxiouschild.com) * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parentingtheanxiouschild/ (https://www.instagram.com/parentingtheanxiouschild/) * Do Less Parenting podcast: * SPACE (https://www.spacetreatment.net) (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions (https://www.spacetreatment.net)), developed by Dr. Eli Lebowitz at the Yale Child Study Center: * Sensory processing episode with Dr. Kristen Pfeil, OTD, OTR/L: https://dearparents.substack.com/p/dear-parents-episode-004-sensory (https://dearparents.substack.com/p/dear-parents-episode-004-sensory) * NovaFerrum: iron drops and chewables kids will actually take. Use code NFIG10 for 10% off using this link —> Novaferrum (https://www.novaferrum.com/) * Have a question for the show? https://drphilboucher.com/ask (https://drphilboucher.com/ask) This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dearparents.substack.com/subscribe (https://dearparents.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2)

3. 

   23 Jul 2026

   Skipping School with Dixie Dillon Lane

   dear parents, Today I get to talk about the history of homeschooling and how it has exploded in the past decade…super interesting conversation around the history of homeschooling and what it looks like nowadays. Dixie Dillon Lane (https://substack.com/profile/124213281-dixie-dillon-lane) holds a PhD in history from Notre Dame, homeschools her own kids, and just wrote Skipping School: A History of American Homeschooling and How It Went Mainstream (https://amzn.to/4fRwrOg) (I had to steal back this book from my wife’s nightstand so I could prep for this interview!) We talk about how homeschooling evolved from a counter-cultural, keep-it-under-the-radar movement in the ‘80s and ‘90s into a normal educational choice that families move in and out of year to year. We dig into what the research actually says about socialization and safety, why religious instruction is no longer the top reason families homeschool, and how parents can be deliberate about preparing homeschooled kids for adult life. And one stat that shocked me: there are now more homeschooled kids in America than kids in parochial schools . Links: Get Dixie’s book: https://amzn.to/4fRwrOg (https://amzn.to/4fRwrOg) Checkout the WSJ review of Skipping School (https://www.wsj.com/arts-culture/books/skipping-school-review-scholars-in-residence-54d0911d) Have a parenting question? Ask at https://drphilboucher.com/ask (https://drphilboucher.com/ask) Thanks for reading dear parents! This post is public so feel free to share it. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dearparents.substack.com/subscribe (https://dearparents.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2)

4. 

   15 Jul 2026

   Before Dinner Window Sibling Squabbles

   I love teaching authoritative parenting. Above is a very real response from a dad to my lesson on the handling window between getting home from school/work and dinnertime. Watch the lesson on after school meltdowns this question came from: https://apsg.drphilboucher.com/apsg-demo-22 (https://apsg.drphilboucher.com/apsg-demo-22) Authoritative parenting is both high in warmth and high in boundaries. It has by far the best research on short-term outcomes, such as getting through difficult day-to-day moments and seasons, as well as long-term outcomes related to our children’s development and our relationship with them as they grow. Authoritative parenting is not as easy as authoritarian and permissive parenting. Authoritarian and permissive parenting are really based on avoiding discomfort. In authoritarian parenting, you use your big voice and threats and coercion and guilt and shame to get compliance. In doing so, parents try to avoid the discomfort that we face when our children don’t do as they prefer immediately. It is high in demands and low in warmth/connection. In permissive parenting, warmth is present, but limits and boundaries are lacking. Permissive parenting is a response aimed at avoiding the discomfort the child might face if a parent sets a boundary or expectation. It is high in warmth but low in boundaries and limits. Authoritative parenting, by contrast, takes the good side of both…. it is high in warmth and connection and also high in boundaries and expectations. Read more about authoritative parenting: https://dearparents.substack.com/t/authoritative (https://dearparents.substack.com/t/authoritative-parenting) This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dearparents.substack.com/subscribe (https://dearparents.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2)

5. 

   13 Jul 2026

   AMA Toddler Sleep Regression/Anxiety

   This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit dearparents.substack.com (https://dearparents.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_7) Your Toddler’s Sleep Didn’t Break. She’s Just Missing You. Read/watch/listen to the full post https://dearparents.substack.com (https://dearparents.substack.com) Ask your question: https://drphilboucher.com/ask (https://drphilboucher.com/ask) This week’s episode is an Ask Me Anything from a mom named Emily, and it’s one so many of you are living right now: Hi, Phil. My name is Emily, and our daughter Remy turns three in about three weeks, and recently has really regressed with her sleeping over the last two weeks. Particularly at nighttime, she lays in her bed until we leave, and then immediately goes to the door and screams for about an hour, bangs on the door crying, hits her toys against the door, and it just really goes on from there. It’s also happening at nap time at home, even though she’s napping great at daycare. I think it’s some sort of separation anxiety. Not entirely sure what triggered it. We did start swim lessons a couple weeks ago that she had a lot of separation anxiety with, but she’s gotten a lot better. Her daycare class has also been a lot more chaotic than usual, and we notice that when things are a little up and down at school, she tends to regress. So just curious if this is a phase. We’ve been letting her cry it out. We did try laying in there till she fell asleep. Within the minute she woke up and realized we weren’t there, pattern starts all over again. Tried leaving the door open with a barrier to say, “Hey, stay in there.” But that didn’t work. She kept coming out and then wanted us to sleep in there with her. So right now we’re just kinda letting her scream. And we have an infant at home that can wake up when she does scream. So anyway, just curious what you think. It’s happening at night and at nap time when we’re at home. And really don’t wanna get into a co-sleeping situation, ‘cause the last time we brought her into our big bed when she regressed, it was really hard to break her of that. She usually loves her bed and sleeps really great. So curious what you think. Thanks. My response: First, the co-sleeping trap is real, and you can avoid it This is one of the most common issues parents bring to me, and it very often leads to co-sleeping, because we’re all exhausted, there’s a new baby at home, and it’s so easy to fall into “just get in bed with me,” or to not even realize they climbed in because you were too tired to notice. Avoiding co-sleeping is possible. It just takes some intentionality. We have six kids and never fell into it Emily clearly wants a peaceful bedtime and an end to the nightly door battle, and we can get her both. This is not a melatonin problem Before we go further: a lot of well-meaning friends will hear this and say, “Oh, just give her some melatonin.” Please don’t. This is not a melatonin deficiency. This is a habit, separation anxiety, and busyness-of-life situation that we fix with new practices, not with something that chemically knocks a kid out. Melatonin might work temporarily, but it won’t fix the real issue. And I don’t love putting young kids on it for any stretch of time. Remember, melatonin is a hormone, not a vitamin. It has effects all over the body, and when it isn’t indicated, I’d much rather skip it. The big picture: this is separation anxiety, not broken sleep I honestly don’t even think of this as a “sleep regression.” People talk about regressions like a child hits a magic age and their sleep just detonates. There are windows where it’s more common, sure. You’ve heard about the four-month one, the eight-month, the nine-month. It’s tough to keep them straight because you can find a blog post about the 6.4-month regression if you look hard enough. It just happens across babyhood and toddlerhood. Here’s what tells me this is typical separation anxiety specifically:

6. 

   2 Jul 2026

   T1D Deep Dive

   Most kids with type 1 diabetes are diagnosed in crisis: thirsty, exhausted, losing weight…they end up in the hospital and often the ICU. In this deep dive, I make the case that it no longer has to start that way. Type 1 is an autoimmune condition that shows up in the blood years before the first symptom, and we finally have the science to catch it early. What you’ll take away: * Why type 1 is an immune system problem, not a blood sugar problem, and why a normal finger-stick can falsely reassure * The old rule that misses most kids: 90% of those diagnosed have no family history * The three stages, and why stage three (the ER, the DKA) is the end of a process that began years earlier * The new JAMA study (Winkler et al., May 2026 (https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jama/article-abstract/2849402)): 200,000 kids screened at well checks, DKA at diagnosis dropping from 40 to 60% down under 10% * When to screen, what the antibody panel involves, and why knowing early lowers anxiety rather than raising it Screening at Frontier Pediatrics: We are now offering this screening even if your child isn’t our patient! These are virtual visits and we don’t need to see the kid(s), just parent! We can do one visit and order screening for all the kids. Available as a virtual visit in Nebraska, Iowa, Kansas, Illinois, Texas, and Florida. Most insurance plans cover the testing and we can also help find low-cost or free alternatives like the research sites. Click here to learn more and book. (https://clinics.frontierpediatric.care/t1d) This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dearparents.substack.com/subscribe (https://dearparents.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2)

7. 

   30 Jun 2026

   AMA: Dysregulated + Aggressive 6 year old

   Have a question? Ask yours here https://drphilboucher.com/ask (https://drphilboucher.com/ask) Curious about my ADHD Compass? Find out where your child falls across all 4 domains of ADHD (hyperactivity, inattention, emotional regulation, executive function) and get a custom-tailored report based on their age, stage, and current strengths & challenges ($19) https://drphilboucher.com/adhdcompass (https://drphilboucher.com/adhdcompass) This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dearparents.substack.com/subscribe (https://dearparents.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2)

8. 

   26 Jun 2026

   Keeping Kids Hydrated with Cure Founder, Lauren Picasso

   This week I’m talking with Lauren Picasso, founder and CEO of Cure Hydration, about something that comes up constantly in my practice: how do I actually keep my kid hydrated? We get into when water alone isn’t always enough, how oral rehydration solution works (the WHO formula that’s been around over 50 years), and why kids dehydrate faster than adults... smaller bodies, developing kidneys, and the toddler who can’t tell you they’re thirsty until they’re already behind. We also cover: * The difference between rehydrating and just loading up on sugar (some sports drinks pack nearly 40g per serving) * When to reach for electrolytes instead of plain water: fever, vomiting, diarrhea, heat, sports, and even air travel * Why I keep these packets in the parent kits we hand out * What Cure built specifically for kids * Hydration in pregnancy, including Lauren’s take! If you’ve ever stood in the pharmacy aisle at 2am with a vomiting kid, this one’s for you!! More at dearparents.substack.com (http://dearparents.substack.com/)Cure Hydration: www.curehydration.com (http://www.curehydration.com/) This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dearparents.substack.com/subscribe (https://dearparents.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2)

9. 

   5 Jun 2026

   Feeding Without the Anxiety with Jennifer Anderson, MSPH, RDN

   Feeding kids has never felt harder, and today we chew on how much of that difficulty is manufactured. Jennifer Anderson, MSPH, RDN, founder of Kids Eat in Color, joins me to cut through the conflicting six-second advice and hand parents something better: a way to make their own calls. You are the expert on your own child. If a strategy is making things worse in your house, that’s reason enough to drop it. What you’ll take away: Why a consistent meal and snack routine is the best place to start when feeding feels like chaos What grazing does to hunger and fullness cues, and why fewer, fuller meals usually serve kids better Why “good food, bad food” language backfires, and what to say instead: different foods do different things in your body Why dessert as a reward teaches the opposite of what you want Where food dyes actually rank against what matters most: calories, protein, water, and fiber The line between typical picky eating and ARFID, and a simple screener to tell the difference Please please please: Pre-order Jennifer’s book (https://kidseatincolor.com/landing-pages/feed-them-well-book/?utm_source=dear-parents&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=book-pre-order&utm_content=show-notes)Feed Them Well (https://kidseatincolor.com/landing-pages/feed-them-well-book/?utm_source=dear-parents&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=book-pre-order&utm_content=show-notes) PSA Eat screener for ARFID and extreme picky eating (https://kidseatincolor.com/picky-eating-and-arfid-screener-for-kids-psa-eat/?utm_source=dear-parents&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=psa-eat-cta&utm_content=show-notes) This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dearparents.substack.com/subscribe (https://dearparents.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2)

10. 

    8 May 2026

    Ultraprocessed Foods and Behaviors

    Ultra-Processed Foods and Kids’ Behavior: What the New JAMA Study Means for Your Family A new JAMA study (https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamanetworkopen/fullarticle/2845768) followed over 2,000 preschoolers and found that higher ultra-processed food intake at age three predicted worse behavior at age five: more anxiety, withdrawal, aggression, and hyperactivity. At age three, UPFs already made up 45.5% of these kids’ daily calories. The good news: researchers modeled what happens when you swap just 10% of UPF calories for real food, and behavior scores improved across every domain. Small and intentional beats dramatic and unsustainable. In this episode, I walk through two quick rules of thumb for spotting a UPF, why “organic” and added-vitamin labels give parents a false sense of security, and how to actually reduce UPFs at home using the authoritative approach. Study: https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamanetworkopen/fullarticle/2845768 (https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamanetworkopen/fullarticle/2845768)Later this month, I’m launching the Authoritative Approach Study Group: a daily text message with one small parenting nugget, plus a weekly Zoom call for live coaching, cases, and Q&A. No course logins, no homework piling up. One registration covers two adults, so both parents (or you and a co-caregiver) can learn together and stay on the same page. Seats are super limited. Authoritative Approach Study Group (https://apsg.drphilboucher.com/) This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dearparents.substack.com/subscribe (https://dearparents.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2)

11. 

    6 May 2026

    Authoritative Approach: "What do you want to watch?"

    Quick video on how to save yourself a lot of headaches and time when your child wants to watch a show but you don’t have 47 minutes to flip through 3 different streaming services to find what they want to watch. Also, if you are interested in learning and actually implementing authoritative parenting, I have an upcoming authoritative parenting study group starting on May 19th. It will be a really cool experience (I think) for parents to learn authoritative principles and approaches to make parenting more enjoyable from toddlers through teens. Daily lessons delivered straight to you over text message so you don’t have to do any digging to keep learning & growing paired with weekly live learning for cases and Q&A time! Click this button to learn more ⤵️ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dearparents.substack.com/subscribe (https://dearparents.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2)

12. 

    21 Apr 2026

    AMA: 6 year old wants to be in control

    A mom left this question in the chat (https://substack.com/chat/2424290?utm_source=pub-nav-bar): “My six-year-old wants to be in charge, and we have let her. We break down and allow bad habits because it’s easier for us and her three-year-old brother — but now her brother is starting to pick up on her habits. She tantrums about going to school, coming home from school, treats, new toys, iPad time, leaving or going to anything, and all food. We started introducing timeouts, mealtime at the table only when we offer, and a 30-minute daily limit on iPad away from food. She has separation anxiety and ADHD. She sees a therapist but is not on medication. How much of this is nature versus nurture?” This is an extremely common scenario. Not just with kids who have separation anxiety or ADHD, but in general: people like to be in control, kids like to be in control, and when you give them control, they want more and more of it. That doesn’t mean we can’t give our child control in some areas — and I’m actually going to suggest we do exactly that. But in a specific, intentional way. Here’s how I’d approach it. Start with the building blocks: Spirit, Mind, and Body Before we talk about reining anything in or setting new limits, I want to make sure the basic foundations are in place. I think about this through a framework I’ve carried since my YMCA camp days: spirit, mind, and body. When I say “spirit,” I don’t mean it in a strictly religious sense — I mean a child’s sense of self, their inner confidence, their capacity to feel okay. If we don’t have these foundations in place, we’re going to spin our wheels. We’re going to feel like either we’re broken, or our child is broken, when really we just haven’t addressed the very basic biological and developmental needs underneath. 1. Free play and lower demands Especially after school, this child needs time with low demands and unstructured free play. Before you try to rein in her desire for control or set new limits, look at how packed your evenings are. If you’re running from activity to activity, pare down to one or two nights per week with structured commitments. Give her time to just be. 2. Sleep This is the most critical foundation, and I’d prioritize it above everything else. That looks like: * No screens at least an hour before bed * A specific wind-down plan, not just “get to bed” * Recognizing that overtired kids can’t self-regulate — they’re not like us, who can fall asleep on a dime after a long day; their brains and bodies need time to off-ramp Many parents pack evenings with enrichment and activities, then rush kids to sleep. What that does to the child is remove any sense of control over their own evening — and it doesn’t give them the time they need to transition. 3. Protein and nutrition Neurotransmitters like dopamine, serotonin, and norepinephrine are synthesized from protein. At each meal of the day — especially first thing in the morning and after school — make sure she’s getting a good source of protein in. This is still in the “basic building blocks” category, but it matters more than most people realize. Your child’s blood sugar ups and downs have a huge impact on their behaviors as well, and so protein helps to stabilize that blood sugar all day long. Once the foundations are in place: structure control, don’t just limit it Here’s where a lot of parents go wrong: they try to take control away without giving any back. For a kid wired like this, that’s a recipe for escalation. Pick one area at a time You cannot fix everything at once. I usually have parents start by thinking in blocks of the day: * Morning routine * After school to dinner * Dinner to bedtime Pick one and focus there. Based on what this mom shared, the after-school and evening stretch is where most of the friction is happening. Start there. Start with one new boundary — and roll it out intentionally The 30-minute iPad limit is a very reasonable place to begin. But the way you introduce it matters. Here’s how I’d do it: “I know it can be hard when you’re on your iPad to know how much time is left — so I got you this little timer so you can see it.” Use a visual timer (a time timer or any visual clock — you can get one on Amazon for under $10). Set it where she can see it. Check in a couple of times with how much time is left. Then practice the transition off screens, over and over again. One of the criteria I use for whether a family is in a good place with screens is this: not how much time they’re on it, but how does the transition off screens go? If she can move from the iPad to dinner or play without a meltdown, you’re in a good place. If it’s throwing the iPad or a full shutdown, that’s a signal you need more practice with the transition, not just a stricter rule. Do this for a week or two without piling on every other demand at the same time. Let her build the skill. Then move to the next thing. Give her specific areas where she’s in charge For a child who craves control, you want to channel that, not just suppress it. Give her personal choice decisions — what shoes to put on, what time she brushes her teeth, what she wears. These are low-stakes, but they matter to her. Then go a step further: give her control over something in the household that actually matters. For us, it’s the dishwasher. Our six-year-old unloads it. I’ll sometimes say, “Hey, do you want to unload the dishwasher now, or in five minutes? I can see you’re playing with your sister.” That’s giving control — and it’s also teaching her that she has an important role in the family. Good household jobs for this age: * Emptying the dishwasher * Sweeping * Filling the dog bowls * Moving laundry from the washer to the dryer Avoid starting with “pick up your toys” — kids resist that one. Give her something outside her comfort zone, just slightly, with your support. The message she internalizes is: this is something mom and dad do, and they need me. That builds autonomy, belonging, and a sense of contribution — the internal confidence that she matters because of what she does. A note on ADHD specifically For a child with ADHD, after-school difficulty is almost predictable. They’ve been holding it together all day — staying in their seat, following directions, managing their body. By the time they get home, they’re done. That’s called restraint collapse: I’ve done what everyone asked. I just need some time to not be told what to do. That’s not defiance. That’s an exhausted nervous system. So with this child, I’d focus especially on making sure she feels understood, supported, and connected before you introduce any demands. Then add the boundary. Kids actually find comfort in clear limits — as long as those limits come from a place of relationship, not just control. On medication: I don’t jump to it, and I don’t know this child. I’d put all the building blocks in place first. But I do want to name this clearly: ADHD is not just hyperactivity and inattention. It also involves emotional dysregulation and executive functioning challenges. For kids who are significantly struggling, medications can give them the scaffolding to get through the day without running a marathon and collapsing at the end. They stay on task at school. They build self-confidence. It doesn’t feel like a constant fight with their own brain. It’s not cheating. I always equate it to a child with asthma: you don’t tell an asthmatic to just breathe harder, and you shouldn’t tell a child with ADHD to just brain harder. We support them with everything we have — environment, rest, nutrition, structure, connection — and sometimes medication is part of that support. TLDR: * Foundations first: free play, sleep, protein * Pick one block of the day to focus on — don’t try to fix everything at once * Start with one boundary (screens is a good one) and roll it out with a visual timer and consistent practice * Give her areas of real control — personal choices and household jobs that matter * For the ADHD piece: expect restraint collapse after school, prioritize connection before correction, and keep the medication conversation open with her care team This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dearparents.substack.com/subscribe (https://dearparents.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2)

13. 

    15 Apr 2026

    Authoritative vs. Permissive Parenting with Dr. Tina Payne Bryson

    Dr. Phil Boucher sits down with bestselling author and child development expert Dr. Tina Payne Bryson (https://amzn.to/41pvTqU) (The Whole-Brain Child, No Drama Discipline, The Way of Play) to untangle the most common parenting style confusion out there: gentle parenting vs. authoritative parenting, and why so many parents accidentally land in permissive territory.They dig into the 60-year-old research behind structure and nurture as two separate dimensions — not opposites — and why kids actually feel safer when grownups are clearly in charge. Plus, practical examples for holding a limit while staying connected, and how playfulness can do the heavy lifting when your bandwidth is low. Resources mentioned: * myskylight.com (http://myskylight.com) — use code DRBOUCHER at checkout for 15% off * dearparents.substack.com (http://dearparents.substack.com) — questions, comments, and more This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dearparents.substack.com/subscribe (https://dearparents.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2)

14. 

    31 Mar 2026

    AMA: Visitors & Newborns

    Get your questions asked and answered at Dear Parents Substack (http://dearparents.substack.com) In this episode, Dr. Phil Boucher answers a listener question about newborn visitors—when to allow them, what rules to set, and how to balance safety with letting loved ones meet your baby. He covers practical, real-world guidance to reduce risk without isolating yourself. Newborn Visitors: Start with One Rule If you’re sick, don’t visit the baby. Even mild symptoms (runny nose, cough, recent exposure) can lead to serious illness in a newborn. Why Fevers Matter in the First Month A fever in a baby under 28 days isn’t just a quick illness—it typically means an ER visit, bloodwork, a spinal tap, and hospital observation. Avoiding infections early on is critical. Who Gets to Visit First? Prioritize close family over large groups. The more people (especially kids), the higher the chance of exposure to illness. You don’t need total isolation—but you do need intention. Simple Rules That Make a Big Difference * Wash hands before holding baby * No kissing the baby (especially due to cold sore/herpes risk) * Delay visits if recently sick or exposed These small boundaries significantly reduce risk. When to Relax the Rules After the first month, and especially after 2-month vaccines, you can begin opening things up more. Continue basic hygiene, but life can feel more normal again. Special Situations: Measles & RSV * Measles: Primarily spreads among unvaccinated individuals. Vaccinated adults are low risk, but avoid exposing newborns to unvaccinated or recently exposed individuals. * RSV: Still a major cause of hospitalization in infants. If your baby is born during RSV season, consider monoclonal antibody protection to reduce risk. Timestamps 00:00 Listener Q: When Can Visitors Meet a Newborn?01:00 The #1 Rule: If You’re Sick, Stay Away02:00 Why Newborn Fevers Mean Hospitalization03:00 Prioritizing Visitors: Close Family First03:30 No Kissing Rule (and Why It Matters)04:00 When It’s Safe to Open Things Up04:30 Measles Outbreaks: What Parents Should Know05:30 RSV Protection: Antibodies vs Vaccines06:45 Recap: Safe, Practical Boundaries for Visitors Questions? Submit at dearparents.substack.com (http://dearparents.substack.com) This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dearparents.substack.com/subscribe (https://dearparents.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2)

15. 

    27 Mar 2026

    Sensory Processing, Meltdowns, and Better Transitions with Dr. Kristen Pfeil

    Get your questions asked and answered at Dear Parents Substack (http://dearparents.substack.com) In this episode, Dr. Phil Boucher is joined by pediatric occupational therapist Dr. Kristen Pfeil, OTD, OTR/L to unpack what’s really going on beneath common childhood “behaviors.” They discuss how sensory processing shapes regulation, why some kids seem constantly overwhelmed or “too much,” and what parents can do to better support their child (and themselves). Sensory Processing 101: Kids don’t just have five senses, they have eight. In addition to sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell, there are internal systems like movement (vestibular), body awareness (proprioception), and interoception (internal body signals like hunger or anxiety). When these systems are out of sync, it can look like “behavior” but it’s often a nervous system trying to cope. Sensory Seeking vs. Sensitive Kids: Some children crave more input (movement, touch, chewing), while others get overwhelmed quickly (noise, crowds, textures). Most kids are a mix and mismatches between a child’s needs and their environment (or even their parent’s sensory style) can lead to frustration and disconnection. Meltdowns Aren’t Just Behavior: Many “problem behaviors” are actually signs of dysregulation. A loud classroom, too much sitting, or unexpected transitions can overload a child’s nervous system, leading to hitting, yelling, or shutting down. The key is looking at what happened before the behavior. Helping Kids Regulate: Regulation looks like calm, connection, and a body that feels “just right.” Supporting this might mean movement breaks, deep pressure (“heavy work”), or simply giving a child space to reset. Just as important: parents staying regulated themselves and practicing co-regulation. Transitions Without Meltdowns: Moving from preferred to non-preferred activities is hard, especially under age five. Tools like visual timers, giving limited choices (“10 or 15 seconds?”), and setting expectations ahead of time can dramatically reduce conflict. Public Meltdowns & Boundaries: When things fall apart in public, consistency matters more than convenience. Holding boundaries (even when it’s uncomfortable) helps kids feel safe and learn expectations. Gentle parenting still includes clear limits, and those boundaries are what create security and freedom. Timestamps 00:01 What Sensory Processing Really Means (Beyond the “5 Senses”)03:00 The 3 Hidden Senses: Movement, Body Awareness, Interoception06:00 Sensory Seeking vs. Sensory Sensitive Kids10:00 “Behavior” vs. Nervous System Overload14:00 Why Kids Get Kicked Out of Daycare (and What’s Underneath It)17:00 How OT Helps: Heavy Work, Awareness, and Regulation23:30 What a Regulated vs. Dysregulated Child Looks Like26:00 What to Do in the Middle of a Meltdown30:00 Transitions: Timers, Choices, and Reducing Power Struggles33:30 Public Meltdowns: What Actually Works38:00 Boundaries, Gentle Parenting, and Why Kids Need Limits42:00 When to Consider Occupational Therapy Resources & Links Connect Pediatric Therapy → connectpediatrictherapy.com (http://connectpediatrictherapy.com) Book: The Out-of-Sync Child (https://www.amazon.com/Out-Sync-Child-Recognizing-Processing/dp/0399531653) by Carol Kranowitz Sponsor: Skylight Calendar (http://myskylight.com/) — Use code DRBOUCHER for 15% off Questions? Submit at dearparents.substack.com (http://dearparents.substack.com) This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dearparents.substack.com/subscribe (https://dearparents.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2)

16. 

    6 Mar 2026

    Zone of Proximal Development, Guilt-Free Formula Feeding, and Diet Supports for Inattentive 6-Year-Olds

    Get your questions asked and answered at Dear Parents Substack (https://dearparents.substack.com) In this episode, Dr. Phil Boucher discusses three key topics for parents: Protein for Kids: Why protein (especially at breakfast and after school) supports steady blood sugar and brain neurotransmitters (dopamine/serotonin). Focus on whole foods like eggs, peanut butter, and Greek yogurt instead of protein powders. Protecting Your Attention: Practical boundaries for a high-stimulus world, including using phone grayscale, hard lockouts, and the text-based Screen Reset program. Dr. Boucher also mentions his ADHD Profile and Compass to track related domains. Sleep Help for a Nearly 3-Year-Old: Answers a parent’s question about a neurodivergent toddler who struggles with independent sleep. Recommendations include practicing “bedtime” outside of bedtime, a “camping” approach of gradually increasing distance, using a baby gate as a ‘big crib’ boundary, and checking for biological factors like low iron/ferritin and magnesium. Timestamps 01:06 Protein 101 for Kids: Why Breakfast Protein Matters 02:07 Blood Sugar Swings: How Sugary Breakfasts Hijack Focus 04:24 Protein & the Brain: Dopamine, Serotonin, and Better Regulation 08:35 Real-Life High-Protein Breakfast Ideas Kids Will Actually Eat 10:19 The After-School Protein Reset: Prevent Hangry Evenings 14:02 Distraction in a Scroll World: Reclaiming Your Attention 19:31 Practical Boundaries: Grayscale + Social Media Lockouts 25:23 Parent Question: 2–3 Year Old Won’t Sleep Independently 28:08 “Camping” Strategy: Practice Bedtime Outside Bedtime 31:18 Check the Biology: Overtired, Iron/Ferritin, Magnesium 34:42 Step-by-Step Plan: Big-Crib Room Setup, Gates, and Gradual Fade Resource Link: Learn more about the ADHD Compass tool: ADHD Compass (https://drphilboucher.com/adhdcompass) This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dearparents.substack.com/subscribe (https://dearparents.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2)

17. 

    23 Feb 2026

    Protein for Kids, Protecting Your Attention, and Sleep Help for a Nearly 3-Year-Old

    Get your questions asked and answered at Dear Parents Substack (https://dearparents.substack.com) In this episode, Dr. Phil Boucher discusses three key topics for parents: Protein for Kids: Why protein (especially at breakfast and after school) supports steady blood sugar and brain neurotransmitters (dopamine/serotonin). Focus on whole foods like eggs, peanut butter, and Greek yogurt instead of protein powders. Protecting Your Attention: Practical boundaries for a high-stimulus world, including using phone grayscale, hard lockouts, and the text-based Screen Reset program. Dr. Boucher also mentions his ADHD Profile and Compass to track related domains. Sleep Help for a Nearly 3-Year-Old: Answers a parent’s question about a neurodivergent toddler who struggles with independent sleep. Recommendations include practicing “bedtime” outside of bedtime, a “camping” approach of gradually increasing distance, using a baby gate as a ‘big crib’ boundary, and checking for biological factors like low iron/ferritin and magnesium. Timestamps 01:06 Protein 101 for Kids: Why Breakfast Protein Matters 02:07 Blood Sugar Swings: How Sugary Breakfasts Hijack Focus 04:24 Protein & the Brain: Dopamine, Serotonin, and Better Regulation 08:35 Real-Life High-Protein Breakfast Ideas Kids Will Actually Eat 10:19 The After-School Protein Reset: Prevent Hangry Evenings 14:02 Distraction in a Scroll World: Reclaiming Your Attention 19:31 Practical Boundaries: Grayscale + Social Media Lockouts 25:23 Parent Question: 2–3 Year Old Won’t Sleep Independently 28:08 “Camping” Strategy: Practice Bedtime Outside Bedtime 31:18 Check the Biology: Overtired, Iron/Ferritin, Magnesium 34:42 Step-by-Step Plan: Big-Crib Room Setup, Gates, and Gradual Fade Resource Link: Learn more about the ADHD Compass tool: ADHD Compass (https://drphilboucher.com/adhdcompass) This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dearparents.substack.com/subscribe (https://dearparents.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2)

18. 

    23 Jan 2026

    Solid Foods, Rage Responses, and the New Vaccine "Schedule"

    Welcome to the very first episode of the Dear Parents podcast! In this episode, Dr. Boucher goes beyond the "nuggets" of social media to provide deep context on the topics that matter most to parents. We explore the transition to solid foods without the stress of rigid rules, how to handle big emotions in toddlers and elementary-aged kids using a helpful framework, and the current landscape of pediatric vaccines. In This Episode: 1. Starting Solid Foods: An Evolutionary Approach Starting solids should be fun, not a chore. Dr. Boucher breaks down why many "rules" are actually part of the "anxiety industry" and how to follow your baby’s lead. Readiness Cues: Look for the ability to sit up (with some support), interest in your food, a diminished tongue thrust reflex, and bringing objects to the mouth. Purees vs. Baby-Led Weaning: It’s a false dichotomy; most parents do a mix of both. Early Allergen Introduction: Early and frequent introduction of peanuts and eggs (around 6 months) can significantly reduce the risk of developing allergies. The "No" List: Avoid honey for babies under 12 months (due to botulism risk) and obvious choking hazards. Gagging vs. Choking: Gagging is loud and common; choking is silent and requires immediate action. 2. Responses to Rage: The LEAP Framework When a child is dysregulated, they aren't being defiant—they are developing. You cannot regulate a child if you are also dysregulated. Dr. Boucher introduces the LEAP acronym to help parents stay calm and effective: L – Listen: Observe body language and consider the context (hunger, tiredness, screen time). E – Empathize: Validate their feelings so they feel understood, even if you don't agree with the behavior. A – Acknowledge the Problem: Frame the issue as a shared problem to solve rather than the child being "the problem". P – Propose a Solution: Offer a bridge forward (e.g., "Do you want to listen to the song in the car?"). 3. The New Vaccine Landscape Dr. Boucher addresses the confusion surrounding new January recommendations and risk-based strategies. Risk-Based vs. Universal: Why "risk-based" recommendations for viruses like RSV and Rotavirus are difficult, as many hospitalized children were previously healthy. Shared Decision-Making: Dr. Boucher advocates for a practice policy that focuses on trust and education rather than rigid requirements. Insurance & Availability: Why vaccine access is likely to remain unchanged despite ideological shifts. Links and Resources: Dear Parents Substack: dearparents.substack.com (http://dearparents.substack.com) – The best place to submit your questions for future episodes. Moving Through Meltdowns Workshop: https://learn.pbmd.co/meltdownworkshop (https://learn.pbmd.co/meltdownworkshop) - A deep dive into handling difficult moments and transitions. ADHD Profile and Compass: https://drphilboucher.com/adhdcompass (https://drphilboucher.com/adhdcompass) - An online assessment to understand your child's ADHD across four key domains: hyperactivity, inattention, emotional regulation, and executive functioning. Skylight Calendar: myskylight.com (http://myskylight.com) - Use code DRBOUCHER for 15% off at checkout to help offload your "mental load" and keep the family organized. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dearparents.substack.com/subscribe (https://dearparents.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2)

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