Death Virgin

About Death Virgin

Hi, I'm Kristen. I've never lost a close loved one, and that terrifies me. Join me as I tackle the universal experience of death with humor, honesty, and sincere introspection. Through personal stories, interviews, and my journey to becoming a death doula, I'll explore how we mourn and how to prepare for life's final chapter. This podcast is for anyone curious about life, loss, and finding laughter along the way.

Publisher

Ellie Media

Category

comedy · education · society & culture

Language

en

Explicit

No

First episode

6 Jul 2025

Latest episode

23 Jun 2026

Latest episodes

19 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   23 Jun 2026

   It's Father's Day, one month after Dad's death

   What begins as an ordinary Sunday in Maine turns into an unexpected journey through grief, spirituality, memory, and ritual. A spontaneous visit to a medium at the Temple Heights solstice fair leads to questions about the afterlife, writing, and whether the dead really have anything left to say. There are drum circles, neighborhood conversations, cemetery visits, a stolen bottle of birthday whiskey, Dad's ashes riding shotgun, and a meatball pizza waiting in Camden. Along the way, Kristen reflects on father figures, memorials, where the dead live after they're gone, and what it means to spend your first Father's Day as a member of the Dead Dad Club. A quiet, funny, wandering dispatch about love, loss, and carrying someone with you long after they've left.

2. 

   18 Jun 2026

   Dispatches from Temple Heights: Dead Dad Club

   In the days after her father's death, Kristen discovers that grief isn't always tears. Sometimes it's paperwork, locksmithing, funeral-home visits, Facebook etiquette, warm vodka in plastic cups, and a stubborn hearse that can't quite make it up the driveway. As family and friends drift through the house overlooking the Atlantic, the ordinary and the extraordinary collide. A locked roll-top desk finally gives up its secrets. Hospice nurses become quiet heroes. Neighbors appear—or don't. The last blossom falls from the star magnolia tree at the exact moment a life comes to its close. Part meditation on mourning, part documentary of what happens after someone dies, this episode explores the strange limbo between death and remembrance, and the unexpected humor, tenderness, and humanity that live there.

3. 

   26 May 2026

   Dispatches from Temple Heights: Time of Death - It's 5 O'Clock Somewhere

   In this final living chapter of Dispatches from Temple Heights, Kristen records in real time as her father dies at home overlooking the Atlantic. What unfolds is not a dramatic television death, but something quieter, stranger, and more human: hospice phone calls, olives for Coronas, oxygen tubes, morphine, family pacing in the kitchen, and the surreal administrative reality that arrives moments after someone leaves their body. With dark humor, tenderness, and documentary immediacy, this episode captures the liminal hours between a person being here—and not being here anymore. It’s about witnessing death for the first time, realizing there is no adult in the room, and discovering that grief can coexist with practical decisions, nausea, laughter, cigarettes, and vodka shots in equal measure. Not the final dispatch from Temple Heights—but the final one where Dad is still alive.

4. 

   25 May 2026

   Dispatches from Temple Heights: A Pinterest Board for Viking Funerals

   A few quiet days at Temple Heights. Ryan arrives to spend time with his father and grandfather — a delayed 21st birthday and 50th birthday celebration no one imagined would happen under these circumstances. There are beers on the beach, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, morphine schedules, Family Feud at full volume, and the strange intimacy of caring for someone at the very end of life. As the nights stretch into 3 a.m. vigils filled with ocean sounds, medication charts, and half-awake Googling, thoughts turn toward funerals, rituals, Viking ships, wooden boats, and what it means to build something with your hands for someone you love. A dispatch about caregiving, exhaustion, humor, practical rituals, and the small strange thoughts that arrive while waiting beside a dying person.

5. 

   23 May 2026

   Dispatches from Temple Heights: Proof I Was Here

   Dispatches from Temple Heights continues with a wandering walk down to the beach on one impossibly beautiful Maine afternoon. Kristen reflects on first love, old cottages, lobster shacks, disappearing landmarks, family mythology, Spiritualist history, teenage summers, and the strange ache of realizing the places that shaped us never stay the same. Along the way: Ozzy Osbourne t-shirts, mixed tapes, mayflies, sea glass, star magnolias, and a painted rock that vanished into a seawall decades ago. As her father lies dying just steps away, memory itself becomes its own kind of shoreline — shifting, eroding, preserving fragments no one else knows are there.

6. 

   22 May 2026

   Dispatches from Temple Heights: Clean Sheets and Birthday Cake

   Seth turns fifty in the middle of hospice care, and somehow the day becomes both heartbreaking and strangely joyful. In this installment of Dispatches from Temple Heights, Kristen recounts a sleepless night, hospice workers who bring humor and humanity into the house, the surreal intimacy of caring for a dying parent, and a birthday celebration filled with Guinness, grocery store cake, party hats, inappropriate death jokes, and moments of real tenderness. It’s an episode about exhaustion, friendship, family, ritual, and the strange beauty of continuing to celebrate life while death sits in the next room.

7. 

   22 May 2026

   Dispatches from Temple Heights: Birthday Balloons and Morphine

   In the third installment of Dispatches from Temple Heights, the vigil continues. Kristen and her brother Seth make it through another night beside their father’s bed, surviving on raisin toast, gallows humor, ice cream, and adrenaline while waiting for the inevitable. As neighbors stop by, hospice nurses arrive, morphine enters the picture, and Seth’s fiftieth birthday approaches, the episode drifts between absurdity and heartbreak with startling intimacy. There are conversations about gatekeeping death, family roles, sea glass, Costco sweatshirts, NPR, birthday piñatas, and what it means to love someone while slowly letting them go. Through exhaustion and tenderness, Kristen reflects on the strange in-between space of vigil keeping — where ordinary life continues even as death waits quietly in the next room.

8. 

   21 May 2026

   Dispatches from Temple Heights: The Day He Was Supposed to Die

   In the second installment of Dispatches from Temple Heights, Kristen’s father finally comes home from the hospital to die overlooking the ocean in Belfast, Maine. What follows is a surreal and deeply human twelve hours of oxygen tubes, ice cream runs, commode disasters, family tension, dark humor, and quiet tenderness as everyone adjusts to the strange rhythm of waiting for someone to die. Blending real-time recordings with reflections on caregiving, control, inherited trauma, and the absurdity of end-of-life logistics, this episode captures the suspended feeling of a family gathered at the threshold—where exhaustion, love, resentment, laughter, and fear all exist in the same room.

9. 

   19 May 2026

   Dispatches from Temple Heights, Vol. 1

   Dispatches from Temple Heights: Notes From My Father's Dying The first episode of a new mini-series within Death Virgin. Kristen records from her childhood home on the coast of Maine as her father lies dying on hospice care in the next room. Over the course of one sleepless night, she reflects on what it means to accompany someone through death for the very first time — while also navigating hospital logistics, oxygen tanks, weed gummies, family dynamics, spiders, ocean sounds, assisted living rituals, and the strange absurdity that continues alongside dying. Part vigil diary, part field recording, part dark comedy, this first dispatch captures the liminal hours before bringing her father home from the hospital to die overlooking Penobscot Bay. A series about grief in real time. About becoming “no longer a death virgin.” About how death is both sacred and deeply, relentlessly human.

10. 

    17 Feb 2026

    Becky with the New Hip

    In this episode of Death Virgin, Kristen gets a new hip — and loses a bone. What begins as a routine surgery (everyone says it’s routine) becomes something stranger: a meditation on ownership, body parts, family legacy, and what it means when a piece of you that grew with you is suddenly removed. Before going under anesthesia, Kristen asks the question most surgeons are not prepared for: Can I keep the bone? From there, she wanders — lovingly and irreverently — through medical authority, arrogant surgeons, grandmother pranks, Harvard Medical School cadavers, the mysterious Jewish “Luz bone” of resurrection, and the strange grief of losing a tooth in your twenties. This episode explores: Why “common” surgery doesn’t mean minor What belongs to us once it’s cut out of us The power dynamics between doctors and patients Why second opinions should be normalized The family story of Grandma Mary, told she would never walk again — and walking anyway Donating bodies to science (and what happens after) The religious argument against cremation and the almond-shaped “Luz bone” Why birth and death are both messier than we like to admit Mourning body parts — teeth, breasts, bones — as small rehearsals for larger loss Whether cremation tidies death… or just disguises it Kristen also confronts the hypocrisy of creating end-of-life workbooks for others while having no will herself — realizing, the night before surgery, that she has not practiced what she preaches. Because maybe death practice doesn’t only happen at funerals. Maybe it happens in operating rooms. Maybe it happens when your body changes. Maybe it happens when you realize you are not, in fact, twenty anymore. There is pumpkin pie. There is Beyoncé. There is The Big Lebowski. There are bones — some kept, some donated, some pulverized. And there is humor. Always humor. Because sometimes the only way to talk about taboo things is to talk about them sideways. Referenced & Recommended: Harvard Medical School Body Donation Program Rabbinic literature on the “Luz” bone Ecclesiastes (interpretations of resurrection texts) The Naked Ape by Desmond Morris The Big Lebowski (the Folgers canister scene) Pretty Woman (big mistake. Big. Huge.) The Little Engine That Could Beyoncé — “Sorry” (Becky with the good hair)

11. 

    15 Jan 2026

    I Sat Down to Write an Obituary and Made Pumpkin Pie Instead

    In this episode of Death Virgin, Kristen starts the year by reading a full, unruly, prickly, and deeply human obituary—one that refuses to smooth the edges of a life well lived. The obituary of Doris McClintock (1939–2025) is funny, specific, political, tender, stubborn, and alive with detail: pine boxes, black bears, arthritis, grudges, gardens, community, and the refusal to romanticize old age or death. From there, Kristen wanders—lovingly—through pumpkin pie, Yankees, Thanksgiving rules, avoidance strategies, and the long, strange history of obituaries themselves. This episode explores: How obituaries evolved from elite death notices to public mourning texts Who gets remembered in the historical record—and who gets erased Why euphemisms for death may soften truth rather than honor it Susan Sontag, silence, moral control, and why smoothing edges can do harm Obituaries as political documents, especially for marginalized lives The ethics of writing your own obituary (and whether anyone has to tell the truth for you) Humor as a survival tool when talking about death Why writing your own obituary might not be about closure—but permission Kristen also introduces a new Death Virgin obituary-writing exercise, including a Mad Lib–style worksheet designed not as a “final draft,” but as a playful, revealing warm-up—something to do alone, or better yet, with others. Because maybe an obituary isn’t meant to close the book. Maybe it’s meant to leave it cracked open. Referenced & Recommended: OBIT (dir. Vanessa Gould) The Deadbeat by Marilyn Johnson Susan Sontag on language, illness, and moral control Merle Haggard, E.B. White, Monty Python, Eminem (yes, really) Content note: This episode references death, illness, murder, and contemporary violence. Rest in peace, Doris McClintock.

12. 

    10 Dec 2025

    Movies, Bitches, and Mourning: A Friendship in Three Acts

    Kristen welcomes her first guest, Thao, for an honest conversation about friendship, grief, and the journey through loss. Together, they reflect on their shared history, the evolution of their friendship, and Thao’s recent experience of losing her brother. The episode explores cultural rituals, the physicality of grief, and the importance of storytelling in healing.

13. 

    29 Sept 2025

    Where were you when ....?

    Where were you when? When Kennedy was shot? When The Challenger exploded? When 14 people were killed in the Swiss parliament? On September 11, 2001? In this episode, Kristen talks about her own second-hand experiences when she found herself living in Manhattan when the Twin Towers were hit, the concepts of private vs. communal grief, and why we all feel compelled to share "I was there ..." when a tragedy (or notable celebration or event) occurs.

14. 

    17 Sept 2025

    Robert Redford Kissed Me

    For the Death Virgin's first mini episode, you'll hear her tribute to the late Robert Redford. How, when she lived in Utah as a teenager, she met him and was even kissed by him. Rounded out with stories of the United States Film Festival, a cross country move in a Mercury Sable, and a fortuitous tennis match, this episode features lots of gushing about the arguably world's best and most handsome guy and how much we all loved him.

15. 

    18 Aug 2025

    Defining Death (kinda): From Grandparents' Goodbye to Dictionary Delights

    Kristen delves into the concept of closeness and its subjective nature, pondering what it means to be close to someone and how it affects grief. Kristen mentions feedback from listeners questioning her claim and shares stories of individuals who were significant in her life. She contrasts these relationships with others she wasn't as emotionally close to, and explores philosophical ideas about community and connection. Kristen also humorously discusses the challenges of defining words using an old dictionary and shares personal anecdotes, musings on language, and cultural references, all while seeking to better understand and prepare for the inevitability of mourning.

16. 

    3 Aug 2025

    (Not) Talking About Death Throughout History: From Plague Pits to Postmortem Portraits

    In this episode of 'Death Virgin,' Kristen delves into the history of how different cultures have approached death and mourning. She begins with the Black Death in the 14th century, describing its devastating impact and the rise of the Dance Macabre. Kristen touches on the modern parallels to the COVID-19 pandemic and the importance of empathy and travel in understanding different cultures. She also discusses Victorian mourning practices, including the creation of memento mori and the elaborate rituals of the era. Moving on to North America, she reflects on the Puritans and Pilgrims and cites the influence of popular culture and educational cartoons on our understanding of historical events. Kristen concludes with a call to reimagine how we educate about death, proposing animated, musical content similar to Schoolhouse Rock to tackle taboos and teach both children and adults about death in an engaging way.

17. 

    20 Jul 2025

    Talking About Death (kinda): From Dead Dogs to Dead Girls to Horror Films

    Kristen, the host of the 'Death Virgin' podcast, discusses her journey of exploring death as someone who has never experienced the loss of a close loved one. She reflects on her childhood memories, societal taboos around discussing death, and how horror movies can serve as a therapeutic medium for dealing with grief. From humorous anecdotes about failed horror movie titles to the ritualistic burial of her first pet, Kristen navigates a wide range of experiences and thoughts, ultimately advocating for more open conversations about death.

18. 

    6 Jul 2025

    Death Virgin: Maiden Voyage

    In the Maiden episode of the podcast 'Death Virgin,' Kristen Vermilyea, a 56-year-old American woman living in Zurich, Switzerland, introduces her journey into understanding mourning and death. Kristen explains how she has not yet lost anyone super close to her* - a rarity at her age, making her feel underprepared for the inevitable loss of a loved one. She discusses her documentary film 'Death Virgin,' her curiosity about death, past experiences, and her decision to become a death doula. Kristen also reminisces about her past in Catholic school, relationships, and various memories connected to death and funerals. The episode is a blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and reflections on life and death, aiming to open up conversations about a typically taboo subject. *Yes, I’ve lost all my grandparents and several aunts and uncles. (We are not a terribly close family.) I’ve thought a lot about how I define “super close” when it comes to people in my life and how that definition might be different when dealing with their deaths. Does it have to be an immediate family member? A blood relative? A best friend? Someone I see or talk to daily / often? I don’t know, but I’m thinking about it and will explore it in the podcast.

19. 

    6 Jul 2025

    Death in the Digital Age

    In episode two of 'Death Virgin,' Kristen Vermilyea delves into the intersection of death and social media, particularly focusing on Facebook. She discusses her views on mourning culture online, sharing personal anecdotes and observations about how people use social media to cope with loss. Vermilyea reflects on the emotional complexities of seeing Facebook pages of deceased friends and questions why public expressions of grief seem necessary. Interspersed with humor and tangential stories, Vermilyea also explores how social media serves as a modern-day Town Crier, announcing deaths and allowing shared communal mourning. This episode encourages listeners to reflect on their own digital interactions with death and considers the broader implications of our online lives.

Reach and audience

Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.

Apple Podcasts (US)

4.9 / 5

11 ratings

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Guest appearances

Books guests

Based on episode analysis; this does not confirm that the show is currently accepting guests.