Defining Stories

About Defining Stories

Using the principles and practices of narrative therapy, Callan McDonnell and Michelle Daley meet with ordinary people to hear their extraordinary stories and share how they have made sense of themselves and life. Learn how you can use narrative practice to transform the stories of your life.

Publisher

Callan McDonnell

Category

health & fitness

Language

en

Explicit

No

First episode

6 Jun 2024

Latest episode

8 Jul 2025

Latest episodes

14 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   8 Jul 2025

   Episode 14: Survival Stories with Kelly

   Kelly has a mesmerising force with which she engages with the world and although her conversation with us might be called a story of survival, it more like a story about thriving, or continuing to thrive. When the upcoming horizon in your life story looks rose-coloured because you’ve made it through a separation, you’ve found a new life-partner and you are starting to feel like you’ve found your stride again,your narrative arc does not want the mind-numbing news that you have to postpone joy for an immediate health crisis. Kelly’s life went in an entirely new direction when at a relatively young age she learned she had stage 3 ovarian cancer. Her life story was dramatically interrupted and sent in a new direction. How Kelly has managed herself through this transition, how she has found meaning and rebuilt her physical health and her dynamism is a testament to her inimitable attitude towards life. We invite you to listen with awe to the gems of learning and meaning-making that Kelly has arrived at and with which she is so generous in sharing. Here is a person who is not defined by fear and who has learned how you rebuild an identity. Shealso shares some great tips of how we can be present for the people in our lives who might be moving through a life defining event. Hear what it means to show up, to avoid trying to fix the situation and how to validate the person’s experience. Kelly is the kind of person you’d love to have in your friendship circle because she’s the one that knows how to honour loss and how to move alongside uncertainty and fear rather thanbe at war with it. She’s the one who will lift you up, push you forward and remind you that you’ve got this. She knows all this because that’s what she did to reach the shores of her new horizon

2. 

   9 Jun 2025

   Episode 13: Migration Stories with Clare

   Clare shares her migration story and discusses the emotional challenges of adapting to a new country, highlighting the importance of community and resilience in overcoming adversity in this interview.

3. 

   12 May 2025

   Episode 12: Coming of Age Stories

   Adolescence can be brutal.  Finding our path out of the hellscape of the teenage years is no easy feat. Adolescence is so difficult because it’s a time of such profound change without full control over what is happening inside of us and around us nor is there clarity about how this will all turn out. It’s a liminal space – that bridge between who you were and who you’re becoming. What Oscar shares so poignantly with us in this episode is that sense of hopelessness that can travel with us in these confusing times of our life. Oscar has such vivid recall of how his world seemed so darkand it appeared that others knew what they were doing and where they were taking their lives. His confusion about himself and his harsh comparison of himself against others remind us how hard it is to invest in anything when feel so unsure of who we are. It’s a time where we lack intention, and we think weare so incapable. We disengage from our lives and what travels with us is the dark hopelessness. What I love about Oscar’s story is the antidote to thishopelessness that he gets to experience and to share with us. It is love that gets us through tough times. Even when we are kicking off and being disagreeable in so many ways and we feel so disenchanted with life there are often a few remarkable humans that just love us through this moment. Oscar recognises these key people who made his life better and different and so while at first this may sound like a story of hopelessness it’s actually a love story. Growing up is messy and confusing. We can get lost and mayfeel very alone with own thoughts and our wounded hearts. What Oscar teaches us is that if we can let the people and the activities, we love become a part of our lives, we will stumble upon hope again. When we start to give value to others, we begin to realise how valuable we are to ourselves. We start to emerge with a stronger sense of identity, purpose, andresilience. We come of age seeing ourselves and the world with clearer eyes. We start making choices from that deeper understanding and it dawns on us that we area more conscious, capable, and complex version of ourselves. We’ve grown up a bit.

4. 

   31 Mar 2025

   Episode 11: Possibility Stories

   Phoebe is a master in the art of possibility. What makes her so masterful is this beguiling ability to just get involved in things with no expectation of an outcome other than she will learn something and quench her curiosity. She somewhat bravely leaps into things knowing she has an artillery of great skills and experiences at her disposal along with an ardent belief that she can work out problems if they arise. As a result, Phoebe is an opportunity magnet. When you listen to Phoebe talk about her career and life trajectory, you might notice this measured balance of humility and confidence. Here is a woman who knows she is smart and capable and reliable and will add value to anything she chooses to hold, and simultaneously, here is a woman who is scared and filled with uncertainty and who feels awkward about how much she doesn’t yet know. The two parts blend and the symbiosis is like a perfectly balanced sauce, or a beautiful composed piece of music, or a piece of art that takes your breath away. There is an artistry in how Phoebe is composing her life, and it is inspiring. As Phoebe shares the range of opportunities that have found her, she also gives us some of the strategies she uses to navigate the qualms of life. Her story reminds us that the antidote to Imposter Syndrome is curiosity; to remember we are all human no matter how talented, or celebrity branded a person is. She shows us how knowing our values can help usassess options and make choices that better align with our hopes for the future. At one point in Phoebe’s story, she jokingly refers to a label she has been given as the black sheep of the family. This signifies being the one who stands out as different, often in a way that goes against family norms, expectations, or traditions. Theterm typically carries a negative connotation, implying that the person is seen as rebellious, unconventional, or even adisappointment to others. However, it can also be a badgeof individuality and independence. While being the blacksheep can sometimes feel isolating, it can also signify courage, authenticity, and the willingness to carve one's own path. Carving her path is exactly what Phoebe is crafting. She is a woman with a certain verisimilitude about her. It’s no surprise she is head-hunted and offered opportunities to manageimpactful projects and the work of important people that will make a difference to multitudes. I am reminded of the achingly beautiful poem by Maria Kalman Women Holding Things (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZoOBgyTVyY) when I speak to Phoebe, I rest more easily knowing her capable arms are holding very precious things like her son, and our planet.

5. 

   6 Mar 2025

   Episode 10: Reinvention Stories

   Reinvention stories are a common theme in literature. Jane Eyre refuses to let her difficult past define her, ultimately creating a life of dignity and self-respect. In The Great Gatsby we witness Jay Gatsby’s transformation highlighting both the allure and illusion of self-reinvention, questioning whether we can truly escape our past. Dickens gives us the ultimate reinvention story in Great Expectations. Pip’s journey is not just about changing his external circumstances; it’s about discovering who he truly is and learning to value the right things. His transformation is both a physical shift (new environment, education, social class) and a psychological one (self-awareness, humility, and integrity). Look back over your life and you will see you have had to reinvent yourself multiple times. Starting school, and finishing school; getting a job, and leaving a job; falling in love, and failing at love. Each experience is an opportunity for reinvention. What we choose to hold on to and what we select as excess baggage that can be left behind refines anddefines the narrative that we take with us in the transformation process. What Tom offers us in this episode is a beautiful, contemplative reflection on the reinvention at play as we age and choose to become an elder and not just older. Tom Verghese’s life has blossomed from his dynamism and curiosity. An immigrant to Australia 44 years ago his professional arena has been about diversity, inclusion and traversing cross cultural intersections. His interests are in conscious aging, and he shares with us how he is experimenting with placing himself in new locations –geographically, socially, and emotionally. He is very interested in keeping an elastic mindset that can stretch and transform its thinking habits and support him in guiding his life into new spaces where he will continue to grow and indulge himself in his true passion: learning. We meet Tom in his liminal space. That messy in-between state where we are no longer who we used to be and not yet the person we will become. We are experimenting with possibilities. The genius we need to imbibe in liminality helps us hold all parts of life and our identity lightly. We can let the definitions ascribed to us by life, the past roles we performed, the relationship patterns repeatedly played out and our previous preferences move on like clouds shape shifting in the sky. What Tom offers us is this alluring idea that aging is aspirational. As we age, we can enjoy more freedoms, be more choiceful, feel looser and show up in kinder and wiser ways. Tom got me thinking about how to make my aging story a good story and to think about how I can contribute to making lives better. How are you going to reinvent yourself?

6. 

   28 Jan 2025

   Episode 9: Adventure Stories

   The call to adventure is the pivotal moment that propels us out of our ordinary world, forcing us to face challenges and grow. It’s a universal metaphor for the transformative journeys we all face in life. Do we have to be brave and strong to have an adventure? Do we have to be curious and determined? Do we need to be searching for more meaning in our lives? Do we have to believe innately in our ability to cope with what ever the adventure might throw our way? Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Alanah is one of those people who has invited adventure into her life. I am fortunate enough to have known Alanah her whole life and was there holding her as she took her very first breath in this world. I’ve watched this sensitive and curious little girl unwrap the layers of her knowledge and skills as she steps into being the remarkable young woman you’ll meet in this episode. Alanah shares the stories about her calls to adventure. We examine the impetus to take yourself out of the known, safe, predictable life you might be enjoying and to shake it all up. Finding yourself arriving in Accra without a SIM card for your phone, suddenly realising the volunteering work you’re doing in Zanzibar is not as fun as you thought it would be and that the ease of finding rental accommodation in London is not a breeze are some of the mishaps and challenges adventures can throw our way. Why do we do it to ourselves? Well, when we take on an adventure, we discover new territories in the world and within us. We get to map unchartered spaces that reveal to us a glimpse of our magnificence, our inner confidence, and our untapped capability. Alanah will charm you with her unassuming grace, her light-hearted approach to the trials and tribulations of life and she’ll share with you what she has learned about herself and life as she has explored the world and the inner landscape of her life. Enjoy learning what it takes to follow the call to adventure. Who knows, you might even choose to follow in her footsteps and begin a new adventure of your own. Become motivated by this inspiring woman.

7. 

   6 Dec 2024

   Episode 8: Transitioning Stories

   Allison explores navigating identity shifts, weighing options, and embracing uncertainty in life's transitions, as she creates a new future and self.

8. 

   20 Nov 2024

   Episode 7: Hopeful Stories Bonus Debrief

   Narrative practice experts Dr. Dan McAdams and Dr. Jennifer Pals reveal how people can transform their lives by re-authoring contamination stories into redemption stories, fostering resilience and hope.

9. 

   5 Nov 2024

   Episode 6: Hopeful Stories

   The humanitarian, Rosalynn Carter said with profound wisdom ‘there are only four kinds of people in the world: those who have been caregivers, those who are currently caregivers, those who will be caregivers and those who will need caregivers.' Our guest on this episode of Defining Stories has experience of being in all four categories of caregiving. From her story you will learn that Alison is in the process of resurrecting her life. After receiving a challenging health diagnosis, Ali braced herself for following a treatment plan borne out of the medical model. Along the way she shares how she was buoyed into courage by a group of supportive friends and a loving sister as the cruel healing powers of chemotherapy took its toll on her body and the cancer. Ali has come to realise that one of her coping mechanisms was to suppress all the emotions associated with her life-changing situation thinking they could all be dealt with later. After a long period of rehabilitation Ali has had to face the new reality that her life may never be the way it once was. She literally and metaphorical has lost her centre of gravity. Learning to be patient with her recovery, wrapping her mind around different modalities that could support her healing and feeling more and more like a fragmented person in a fragmented system, she has come to gain some vital knowledge about how we can put ourselves back together when things fall apart. In the most vulnerable time of her life, Alison has had to search for some silver linings. With a broken heart, Ali knew she needed to feel joy again. You’ll get to hear about an inspiring moment when a morning coffee and an old David Essex song humming in her mind, gave Alison a wonderful business idea. She’s finding a new voice for Ali and is using her experience as an inspiration to show up as a person who cares when others are facing their times of vulnerability. You can learn more about her work at Silver Linings Aged Care Navigator (https://agedcarenavigator.au/home). What Ali is creating is an open-hearted response to healing and in offering this type of support she is in return giving herself some of the healing she needs. And if that road gets tougher… No, I'll never let you suffer 'Cause I love the things that you do…With your love light shining Every cloud's got a silver lining. [David Essex, Hold me Close]

10. 

    4 Oct 2024

    Episode 5: Identity Stories

    “It's like everyone tells a story about themselves inside their own head. Always. All the time. That story makes you what you are. We build ourselves out of that story.” [Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Name_of_the_Wind)]. In narrative practice, identity is seen as fluid and continually constructed through the stories people tell about themselves. At times in our lives, we can believe that a particular part of our identity defines us completely or may define us forever. By helping people explore and reshape these narratives, narrative practice fosters a renewed sense of personal agency and empowers us to develop a more positive, clear, and adaptive sense of identity. Jorge is a man who has loosened the constraining knot of a single story and opened his self-definition up to the multitude of stories that accompany his identity. In the sharing of his story, Jorge talks about the great lengths he went to by camouflaging his identity. The emotional masking and code switching he adeptly mastered allowed him to present a different identity to the world. Internally, however, he was consumed with viewing himself through the single lens of his sexuality. We can all train ourselves to fit the identity we think the world demands from us and this can place incredible strain and mental anguish on us. Whether the identify is self-made or inherited, part of the work we all need to do is repeatedly redefine who we are. We are continuously birthing new versions of our identity and some of those identities require a lot of labour before they can be enacted with our full commitment to what we stand for and how this aligns with our values and hopes and life commitments. More than one aspect of who we are can be true simultaneously and we are seldom just one thing when we show up in relationship with others. We enact multiple roles at all times. Our sexuality doesn’t need to lead the definition of who we are. Staying vigilant to validating who we are and how we are experienced in the world is the work we all need to do to reduce the gap between who we say we are and what we do. When we show up as authentically ourselves there is a multiplier effect for our lives and the structures in which we work, live and play. Genuinely safe workplaces are liberated by the acceptance they bring forward in the face of differences. Psychologically safe environments require a special kind of leader who knows how to deal with difficult situations, hard conversations and the messiness of being human. Jorge attributes the amazing leaders he had in his life as being the catalysts for his own emancipation from the restraints of an all-consuming single storied plot line in his narrative. He now brings that same kindness and generous humanity to the workplaces in which he is a leader. We are all the better for leaders like Jorge who show us that we need to be authentic, and we can safely practice being authentic at work and in all parts of our lives. Enjoy listening to how Jorge learned the power of becoming Jorge.

11. 

    2 Sept 2024

    Episode 4: Empowering Stories

    Samantha (https://www.samantharush.com/) is indeed a marvellous woman who has not only created an inspiring deck of cards called Marvellous Women, but has achieved significant transformations throughout her life story. Samantha shares her empowerment story in this episode of Defining Stories. You’ll hear about how she retired an old story and belief system that allowed her to think that others knew better than her. As a young girl and woman, she was aware of letting others offer direction over her life and choices. As Samantha matured, she grew in confidence and embraced an enticing new story that was about being empowered to make her own choices. Learning to listen to her inner voice, to discern good advice from unhelpful suggestions and channelling into the right wisdom for her has been an ongoing life experiment. Sam has navigated a path through this life experiment with integrity and curiosity. Enjoy listening to this episode that shares some of the freedom and confidence we can grasp when we enrich our stories of empowerment. Empowering stories are essential for fostering a positive and proactive mindset in individuals, teams, and organisations. They influence how people see themselves, how we interact with others, and how we choose to approach challenges and opportunities. By cultivating empowering narratives, we get to stay in touch with our personal agency which can lead to sustained success and fulfilment. Samantha exemplifies this marvellously.

12. 

    5 Aug 2024

    Episode 3: Deconstructing Stories

    Our episode this month is a fascinating conversation with Shona who also has a background in narrative practice. The theme explored in this conversation focuses on our ability to deconstruct our life stories so we can create new meaning. In narrative practice, deconstructing stories is a technique used to analyse and break down dominant narratives that shape our identity and experiences. The goal is to reveal the underlying assumptions, values, and influences that sustain these narratives, enabling individuals to challenge and transform them. How we make sense of our lives and the meaning we attach to events and relationships can, often be filtered through social constructs of the hopes and expectations of other people and groups. What Shona so beautifully illustrates is how she went about mastering the skills of deconstruction to find alternative stories for herself and how she is defining herself as a woman. . Shona reminds us that the process of deconstructing our stories can be painful but that the struggle is necessary if we want our character to change and to experience new adventures. You are going to love Shona’s wisdom about moving through life with open palms and the story she shares about Helen Keller nudging her towards a great adventure is an absolute delight. There is lots of gold in this episode enjoy hearing some of Shona’s wisdoms about deconstructing stories and remember, ‘Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.’ (Helen Keller)

13. 

    4 Jul 2024

    Episode 2: Problem Stories

    In this episode we meet Kerri who generously shares the story of a time in her life when a problem story became overwhelmingly significant. Problem stories are narratives that dominate our self-perception and worldview. They can cause us to focus predominantly on the issues, difficulties, and negative experiences associated with the problem. These stories can significantly impact our mental health and well-being and can become so pervasive that they overshadow any positive experiences or attributes we may have, leading to a skewed and often negative self-perception. When problems dominate our personal narrative, we may see ourselves primarily in terms of our difficulties and failures. This can lead to the internalisation of problems, where we view our problems as intrinsic to who we are rather than as external challenges that can be addressed and overcome. These sorts of narratives can lead to self-fulfilling prophecies, where the expectation of negative outcomes influences our behaviour in ways that bring about those outcomes. The problem story can make it difficult for us to see alternative ways of understanding our experiences and the potential solutions to our problems. This limited perspective can lead to feelings of hopelessness and helplessness, as we can start to believe that our problems are insurmountable and that we lack the capacity for change. One of the beautiful aspects to Kerri’s story is the way you hear how she overcame the problems and the actions she took to understand her experience and to face into the changes she needed to make. The profound impact Kerri’s problem story had on her life and the memories of unworthiness it evoked needed to be faced and counteracted with alternative narratives. You will hear first-hand how Kerri had to relearn how to form an identity and how the signature story she now holds is one of fearlessness about potential future problems. She has rediscovered a river of confidence and internal strengths that she is able to access in the face of new and future challenges that life may bring to her. She now sees herself as a gentler, kinder version of her old self focused on intrinsic motivations where she can challenge herself to keep growing and learning. As Kerri says so eloquently, she has discovered that the secret weapon of vulnerability is authenticity. Please enjoy this very authentic and fascinating account of a problem story.

14. 

    6 Jun 2024

    Episode 1: What is Narrative Practice?

    In this episode, Michelle and I chat about some of the principles that underpin narrative practice and why it can be useful to think of your life as a story. We explore the difference between a life history and a life story and how the meanings we attach to our memories can change our perception of events and the definitions we make about ourselves. We share how there is power in making problem stories regenerative and how personal agency is such a powerful tool for changing stories that are contaminating. You'll also hear a story about the man who forgot to celebrate Christmas.

Reach and audience

Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.

Apple Podcasts (US)

5.0 / 5

2 ratings

Spotify

5.0 / 5

4 ratings

Podcast Authority Score: 17 / 100

A composite of feed quality, social presence, YouTube performance and engagement. Read the methodology.

Quality

22

Social presence

0

YouTube

0

Engagement

32