Join exes-turned-best-friends Coleman Spilde and Patrick Mahony as they reconnect across the cosmic plane that kept them tied together through seven years of not speaking. These lovers to friends to enemies to co-hosts have a lot to catch up on, including: cultural criticism, addiction to beauty, being working “artists,” and getting what you paid for.
This week, Coleman has a pressing question for Patrick about a certain song, which leads to an unexpected conversation. Patrick goes on a rant he's done 199 times before, only to be matched by Coleman minutes later. On my toes, I’m gonna be on my knees. Word mean less but it bigger. That’s more of a personal quagmire. Kamala nation and the absence of critical thinking. Kitty kat on the keyboard. It breaks my heart to hear that. Hefty emotion. I can’t believe that is legally allowed to be on screens. You don’t think Sigourney Weaver is a beautiful woman? That’s just my own thing and I have to get over it. I don’t care about being fair to anyone who is married. Pleasure has a cap on it. Fall will fix me because, simply, it’s not the summer. In the mood to get a lot of presents. I’d love to watch some Yu-Gi-Oh. Things are happening at the DIKY Laboratory. Peace! I hope to achieve it.
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1 Aug 2024
License to Be Blonde
This week, a Strand bookstore employee and a T-Mobile store representative maximize their joint slay. Patrick debates Coleman over cover letters (as if they're Coleman's fault) before they reminisce over the many haircuts they've subjected each other to. Sabrina Carpenter has the weapons. I was slated to be bisexual by god (didn’t happen). The Tumblrinas. Mortifying man bun anecdotes. We assumed the hair was going to make our apartment a log cabin. Do you remember the names of our imaginary dogs? You can’t show me that photo again. Guess who got their first mortgage?! The Manic Panic attacked me, my skin, and my self-esteem. Before you spend $250 to bleach your hair, I would see a therapist. Warmth toward bald men. Stop fighting against biology and holding onto an idea! Salads across the boardroom, babe.
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25 Jul 2024
How Were You Not Bullied?
This week, the boys are rallying against the concept of boredom. But first, a reaction gif in a text thread sends a chill up Patrick's spine, while Coleman explores the intention behind sending a Chloë Sevigny reaction photo. A different kind of brain rot. LOL has gone full circle—the kids won’t know this. Bebe Rexha says hello. Boredom isn’t real. We went from twiddling our thumbs to scrolling with them. Not everyone can sparkle upon first meeting. I have chugged drinks to get out of a conversation. You have to have the nosy person hookup in your life. Weather is the thread that binds us all. Has boredom factored into the dissolution of your relationships? Scientific and mathematical precision does not allow the beauty of uncertainty. Sleep deprivation is the most terrifying torture tactic. A story of true terror caps the episode. This is it, you guys: we’re goners!
Follow Didn't I Kill You? on Instagram at http://instagram.com/didntikillyou. Embroidered DIKY cap giveaway ends Friday, July 26—details on the Instagram!
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