Differentiated Love & Sex is a relationship podcast about emotional differentiation, intimacy, and building healthier partnerships. Hosted by Jackie Aston, a licensed psychotherapist with 10+ years of experience working with individuals and couples, and Catherine Roebuck, a relationship coach who helps entrepreneurs and working professionals improve their relationships.
Each episode explores relationship dynamics, communication, sex, boundaries, and personal growth so couples can stay connected without losing themselves.
New episodes are available on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Podcasts.
Why Escaping Stress Ends Up Costing Your Relationship
Work with us:
*Jackie Aston, Psychotherapist & Relationship Coach → www.candgtherapy.com (http://www.candgtherapy.com)
*Catherine Roebuck, Relationship Coach → www.catherineroebuck.com (http://www.catherineroebuck.com)
In this episode, Jackie and Catherine discuss the ways that escaping challenges through distraction are counterproductive for individuals and their relationships.
What this episode covers:
- Why escapism isn't a problem in itself, but becomes one when it replaces facing what actually needs to happen
- The counterintuitive truth that anxiety has to go up before it goes down, and why avoiding that spike keeps a problem exactly the same size or bigger
- How one partner's escapism can quietly become the other partner's overfunctioning, and how resentment builds on both sides of that split
- Why affairs function as a distraction from what's actually hard about a committed relationship, rather than evidence about what a person truly wants
- How to ask a distracted partner for what you actually want, instead of a list of complaints they'll find easy to tune out
- Why self-trust gets built or eroded in these small moments of following through, or not, on what we said we'd face
Free consultation (https://www.differentiatedlove.com/contact)| Substack (https://differentiatedlove.substack.com?utm_source=navbar&utm_medium=web) | Podcast (https://pod.link/1884143784?view=apps&sort=popularity)
Chapters
00:00 Escaping instead of facing what's hard
01:31 Welcome and introductions
02:06 Today's topic: escapism in relationships
03:49 When stepping away becomes avoidance
05:07 The many forms escapism takes
06:47 The real test: do you have a plan to face it
09:15 Building self-trust by following through
11:10 Facing uncertainty instead of distracting from it
14:08 Why anxiety has to rise before it falls
16:02 The cold pool analogy
19:06 Turning "what if" into a real question
21:53 Building self-trust step by step
26:16 How escapism impacts a partner
27:36 The football example and overfunctioning
33:18 Affairs as escapism
39:16 Getting a real answer without messing with the data
41:14 What to do when your partner is distracted
44:00 Getting specific about what you actually want
48:24 Fairness and showing up for each other
To learn more about Jackie and Catherine's therapy and coaching services, and the work they do with individuals and couples, be sure to check out their website.
https://www.differentiatedlove.com/ (https://www.differentiatedlove.com/)
https://www.candgtherapy.com/ (https://www.candgtherapy.com/)
https://www.catherineroebuck.com/ (https://www.catherineroebuck.com/)
Music: Echoes by Roa https://soundcloud.com/roa_music1031 (https://soundcloud.com/roa_music1031)
License: Creative Commons — Attribution 3.0 Unported — CC BY 3.0
Free Download / Stream: https://audiolibrary.com.co/roa-music/echoes (https://audiolibrary.com.co/roa-music/echoes)
Music promoted by Audio Library: https://youtu.be/HCXJxHIkH8w (https://youtu.be/HCXJxHIkH8w)
6 Oct 2026
How to Get the Support You Need During Pregnancy and Postpartum?
Work with us:
*Jackie Aston, Psychotherapist & Relationship Coach → www.candgtherapy.com (http://www.candgtherapy.com)
*Catherine Roebuck, Relationship Coach → www.catherineroebuck.com (http://www.catherineroebuck.com)
What this episode covers:
- Jackie's own experience being pregnant with her third child, and what feels different emotionally this time compared to her first
- Why constantly finding another task to prepare for the baby can keep anxiety circling rather than resolve it, and what presence and connection actually offer instead
- The ongoing work of advocating for yourself with medical providers during pregnancy, postpartum, and delivery, including how differently Jackie was treated traveling in France
- What it actually looks like to support a friend or partner through postpartum, from concrete offers like folding laundry to directly checking in about mood and safety
This is the kind of transition Jackie and Catherine work through with clients often, both the emotional adjustment of pregnancy and postpartum and the relationship dynamics that come with it. If any of this is resonating, they offer a free 15-minute consultation to talk about what support could look like for you.
Free consultation (https://www.differentiatedlove.com/contact) | Substack (https://differentiatedlove.substack.com?utm_source=navbar&utm_medium=web) | Podcast (https://pod.link/1884143784?view=apps&sort=popularity)
Chapters
00:00 Intro
01:20 Welcome to the podcast
01:37 Being pregnant and differentiated
03:26 What's different this pregnancy versus the last
05:06 Asking for help and letting people show up
05:57 Advocating with medical providers
08:29 Planning for postpartum in advance
09:22 Postpartum support groups and community
11:39 Pregnancy care in France versus the US
13:26 Postpartum depression and getting support lined up
18:40 What matters in the couple's relationship during pregnancy
20:04 Connecting sexually with physical limitations
21:32 Anxiety, to-do lists, and presence
24:18 Preparing older kids for a new sibling
27:57 Body image during pregnancy
29:29 How to support a friend through postpartum
36:56 Advocating for yourself in the hospital and during birth
44:35 Bringing a therapist or coach into the process
To learn more about Jackie and Catherine's therapy and coaching services, and the work they do with individuals and couples, be sure to check out their website.
https://www.differentiatedlove.com/ (https://www.differentiatedlove.com/)
https://www.candgtherapy.com/ (https://www.candgtherapy.com/)
https://www.catherineroebuck.com/ (https://www.catherineroebuck.com/)
Music: Echoes by Roa https://soundcloud.com/roa_music1031 (https://soundcloud.com/roa_music1031)
License: Creative Commons — Attribution 3.0 Unported — CC BY 3.0
Free Download / Stream: https://audiolibrary.com.co/roa-music/echoes (https://audiolibrary.com.co/roa-music/echoes)
Music promoted by Audio Library: https://youtu.be/HCXJxHIkH8w (https://youtu.be/HCXJxHIkH8w)
29 Sept 2026
What is the True Cost of the Strings Attached in Your Relationships?
Maybe it's a parent who'll pay for something, but only if you do it their way. Maybe it's a partner who plans the date but expects sex afterward. A lot of us have accepted help or love that came with quiet conditions, and only later noticed what we gave up to keep it.
What this episode covers:
- The difference between an honest request ("it would mean a lot if you'd join us") and an offer with strings attached
- Why accepting conditional support, even when you're getting something you want, can cost you your own functioning over time
- What it looks like when a relationship runs on control instead of love, and why that distinction matters even when the control is subtle or unspoken
- The golden child position in a family, and why it's often the hardest one to grow out of because there's so much conditional support to lose
- Why generosity that doesn't need a guarantee is different from a transactional exchange, and what that difference actually does for closeness
This is a pattern Jackie and Catherine see often in their work with clients, whether it's showing up with family, a partner, or both. If this is resonating, they offer a free 15-minute consultation to talk about what it could look like to work through it in your own relationships.
Free consultation: https://www.differentiatedlove.com/contact (https://www.differentiatedlove.com/contact) | Substack: https://differentiatedlove.substack.com?utm_source=navbar&utm_medium=web (https://differentiatedlove.substack.com?utm_source=navbar&utm_medium=web) | Podcast: https://pod.link/1884143784?view=apps&sort=popularity (https://pod.link/1884143784?view=apps&sort=popularity)
Chapters
00:00 Using someone to get what you want isn't love
01:02 Welcome and introductions
01:52 What strings attached offers look like
04:12 The wedding dress example
06:05 Staying in a dependent position
11:51 Golden child dynamics in families
14:47 The affair and the necklace: covert strings
17:21 Household roles and unspoken conditions
19:42 Strings attached around sex and date night
23:24 How transactional patterns wire into the brain
26:39 The difference between reciprocity and strings attached
29:01 Golden child vs. scapegoat and differentiation
36:00 The vulnerability of unconditional love
40:52 What this costs, on both sides
To learn more about Jackie and Catherine's therapy and coaching services, and the work they do with individuals and couples, be sure to check out their website.
https://www.differentiatedlove.com/ (https://www.differentiatedlove.com/)
https://www.candgtherapy.com/ (https://www.candgtherapy.com/)
https://www.catherineroebuck.com/ (https://www.catherineroebuck.com/)
Music: Echoes by Roa https://soundcloud.com/roa_music1031 (https://soundcloud.com/roa_music1031)
License: Creative Commons — Attribution 3.0 Unported — CC BY 3.0
Free Download / Stream: https://audiolibrary.com.co/roa-music/echoes (https://audiolibrary.com.co/roa-music/echoes)
Music promoted by Audio Library: https://youtu.be/HCXJxHIkH8w (https://youtu.be/HCXJxHIkH8w)
Reach and audience
Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.
Apple Podcasts (US)
5.0 / 5
5 ratings
Contact Differentiated Love and Sex
Guest appearances
Books guests
Based on episode analysis; this does not confirm that the show is currently accepting guests.
Host of Differentiated Love and Sex?
Claim your podcast to manage its listing and keep your show details accurate.
Pod Engine is an independent podcast discovery and analytics service and is not affiliated with or endorsed by this podcast. Artwork and show content belong to their owners. Full legal notice.
Explore this show Podcast research with Pod Engine
