I know a lot of things.
Correction. I have a lot of experience.
Moments of brilliance, tragedy, joy, success and poor decisions. A slop bucket of life.
These essays are an effort to make sense of that. It's supposed to make sense isn't it? We wouldn't be the only known living beings in the star system for no reason, that would be ridiculous.
I like simple things. And I like the pain we suffer. It cuts through the noise. And I like my confusion funny. Dirty Stupid Wisdom is my collection of funny, ridiculous, painful moments that suggest clarity and insight. They won't cure you but they might sustain you for a short while.
2 Dead Dogs and a Crushed Hat There's a punchline at the end of life that makes it all funny? Right? Come on, indulge me! What a year. I'm laughing now. But then. Ouch. THIS IS A TRUE STORY OF LOSS AND OTHER BAD JOKES THE UNIVERSE TELLS US. Dirty Stupid Wisdom is a podcast written and read by Ben Keaton – actor, writer, Olivier Award-winner. Short, sharp, funny episodes for restless minds craving understanding. 'Utterly brilliant . Funny, honest, generous a...
27 Aug 2025
I Yam what I Yam - Tattoo Crazy
I Yam what I Yam – Tattoo’s Crazy Popeye, the spinach eating cartoon sailor of the 1930s and 40s said it best. He knew who he was and had the tattoos to prove it. Identity emerges. Some know day one and can’t wait to get going. This is one of those days. THIS IS A TRUE STORY INKED ON SKIN AND MEMORY. Dirty Stupid Wisdom is a podcast written and read by Ben Keaton – actor, writer, Olivier Award-winner, and domestic philosopher. Short, sharp, funny episodes for restless minds craving sleep...
20 Aug 2025
If I Were Me
Those self-help gurus must live perfect lives, right? So why do they look like they just came out of rehab? Knowing the right thing to do and doing it are not the same thing at all. That’s why bakeries sell out by 2pm. THIS IS THE STORY OF HUMANITY Vs COMMON SENSE Dirty Stupid Wisdom is a podcast written and read by Ben Keaton – actor, writer, Olivier Award-winner, and domestic philosopher. Short, sharp, funny episodes for restless minds craving sleep. Dirty Stupid Wisdom Litter: bad decision...
13 Aug 2025
Watching Not Drowning
Acting is a mad business. You get to do things you’d run from in the real world. 'You’ll be naked in this scene.' 'I feckin won’t!' 'So will she.' 'Oh. Ok then.' Some roles get under your skin. Others swallow you whole. The thrill is intoxicating, the comedown brutal. Somewhere along the way you may forget where the character ends and you begin. THIS IS A TRUE STORY OF SURVIVAL Dirty Stupid Wisdom is a podcast written and read by Ben Keaton – actor, writer, Olivier Award-winner, and domestic ...
30 Jul 2025
Gone North
There are lots of ways to lose friends — not returning a lawnmower, fancying the wife, constantly leaving wee on the floor after bathroom visits. All of them in the canon of possibility. I just didn’t see it coming. This episode is about the bewilderment of loss. The not-calling, not-texting, not-saying-goodbye kind of ending that leaves you staring at your phone like it owes you an answer. THIS IS A TRUE STORY ABOUT FRIENDSHIP YOU THOUGHT WAS MUTUAL. Dirty Stupid Wisdom is a podcast written ...
23 Jul 2025
Take His Cards
Ben Keaton is a drinker in constant search of that sweet spot. That mix if soft warm, witty repartee embodied by his childhood heroes. This episode is a hymn to booze and online shopping. Those next day deliveries are just full of surprises after a few glasses of red. 'Did I really order nipple tassels? Well, better try them on then.' THIS IS A TRUE STORY BASED ON EXCELLENT DECISIONS MADE UNDER THE INFLUENCE. And maybe, just maybe, you should take his cards. Dirty Stup...
16 Jul 2025
Cue Trombones
Superstition, ghosts, there’s no need to believe in any of that unless it shares your DNA and slips you cash when you’re broke. This episode is an account of the madness that creeps in when ladders, pianos and dead fathers collide. A TRUE STORY BASED ON UNRESOLVED FEELINGS AND DEAD PEOPLE And maybe, just maybe, your dead relative can pop back and sort things. Dirty Stupid Wisdom is a podcast written and read by Ben Keaton – actor, writer, Olivier Award-winner, and domestic philosopher. ...
16 Jul 2025
He Keeps a List
Ben Keaton keeps a list of people he hates. It’s not a list you’d write down. It’s a private tally of rage. Petty. Profound. Occasionally piss-soaked. This episode is about the fantasies we quietly enjoy and the hatreds we politely deny— It might include a theatre director who pours a pint over your head. I wonder who HE is? There’s no grand solution to the things that make us seethe. You can dream about a car, a scream, and the funeral you attend, smiling. But it’s just a fantasy...
9 Jul 2025
I Saw Doctor Who's Bollocks
Some sights stay with you forever. The shock may even cause you to rewrite history. In this case the bollocks of a time lord in an intimate setting. You don’t plan for it but once those fellas are out there, there’s no unseeing them. THIS IS A TRUE STORY BASED ON FAILING MEMORY Dirty Stupid Wisdom is a podcast written and read by Ben Keaton – actor, writer, Olivier Award-winner, and domestic philosopher. Short, sharp, funny episodes for restless minds craving sleep. Dirty Stupid Wisdom Litter...
9 Jul 2025
All Inclusive
Ben Keaton reflects on the overconfident algorithm and questions the true meaning of honesty in this episode of his podcast.
2 Jul 2025
When I Talk to You
Ben Keaton shares a comedic essay about his life living among intelligent women, exploring themes of optimized living and indulged fantasies.
2 Jul 2025
I Lost My Virginity to a Drug Dealing Nurse
Ben Keaton recounts his unconventional sexual awakening in 1970s London with a drug-dealing nurse, sharing a humorous and candid story of hope and unexpected education.
2 Jul 2025
A Beer by the Bins
Ben Keaton shares his plans and meditates on family, finances, and the tenderness of talking plainly about the inevitable in this episode.
25 Jun 2025
The Mad Irish
Ben Keaton explores Irish identity and the process of discovering oneself unexpectedly, revealing the unique rhythm that defines a nation in this episode.
25 Jun 2025
Nature; Our Greatest Enemy.
Ben Keaton challenges the conventional view of nature as nurturing, arguing it's a destructive force based on personal experiences and observations in this episode.
25 Jun 2025
Relatively Speaking
Ben Keaton grapples with the complexities of family, examining blood obligations and unexpected connections in this exploration of familial relationships.
19 Apr 2025
Dirty Stupid Wisdom podcast with Ben Keaton Trailer
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