I’m Stacie Spiler — your mindset coach and psychotherapist for this weekly, therapy-style deep dive into the patterns shaping your life. Every episode is a session: honest, grounded, and designed to help you break cycles, understand your emotions, and rewrite the stories running your relationships, work, and sense of self.
Using psychology, neuroscience, and soul-level insight, we get curious about the things you avoid, the wounds you carry, and the patterns you repeat and together, we turn them into clarity, confidence, and real inner change.
Why Other People Feel Like the Problem (Projection Explained)
In this conversation, Stacie Spiler explores the concept of projection in relationships, emphasizing how our beliefs about ourselves influence our perceptions of others. She explains that relationships serve as mirrors, reflecting our internal beliefs and providing opportunities for self-examination. By understanding projection, individuals can shift their focus from blaming others to questioning their own beliefs, leading to healthier interactions and personal growth.
takeaways
What you project, you believe.
Relationships are the classroom for self-discovery.
Projections are beliefs placed onto others.
Our perceptions of others reveal our self-beliefs.
Projection is a learning strategy of the mind.
Beliefs are often unconscious and unexamined.
Relationships provide emotional charge for projections.
Questioning beliefs can change relationship dynamics.
Conversations become simpler when beliefs are examined.
Projection can be a tool for personal growth.
Watch Episode: https://youtu.be/cjr3f9x-Hvs?si=EYmy6DVd69zmdn0n (https://youtu.be/cjr3f9x-Hvs?si=EYmy6DVd69zmdn0n)
5 Jan 2026
From abandonment to safety. How I healed BPD
In this conversation, Stacie Spiler discusses the profound effects of trauma and borderline personality disorder (BPD) on the brain and behavior. She shares her personal journey from experiencing abuse to healing, outlining five concrete steps she took to recover. Stacie emphasizes the importance of understanding the impact of personality disorders, the role of relationships in healing, and the necessity of taking radical responsibility for one's actions. She also highlights the significance of intentional solitude for integration and finding wholeness after trauma.
Watch on youtube (https://youtu.be/c01D_2Aruv4?si=2ZLvNErVtLoWTeu8) here (https://youtu.be/c01D_2Aruv4?si=2ZLvNErVtLoWTeu8)
takeaways
Trauma reshapes how individuals react and attach to others.
Survival responses can lead to destructive behaviors.
Healing is a long process that requires responsibility.
Understanding the brain's response to trauma is crucial for healing.
Relationships can be both a wound and a source of healing.
Medication can provide temporary support but is not a solution.
Intentional solitude is necessary for true integration.
Healing allows individuals to reclaim their lives and identities.
Patterns of behavior can be unlearned with time and effort.
The journey of healing is about living intentionally and responsibly.
Chapters
00:00 Understanding Trauma and Its Lasting Effects
09:55 The Impact of Personality Disorders on the Brain
20:05 Steps to Healing from BPD and CPDSD
27:20 The Role of Relationships in Healing
29 Dec 2025
This Is Why So Many People Quit Their Dreams
This Is Why So Many People Quit Their Dreams — not because the dream is wrong, but because the climb demands more of you than anyone tells you.
In this video, I explore the part of growth that rarely gets spoken about: the internal resistance that shows up when you move toward something that actually matters. Not loud fear or doubt, but quiet hesitation, self-sabotage, and the urge to pull back just as things start to change.
Drawing on ideas from The War of Art and lived experience, this conversation looks at why pursuing your dream can feel destabilising, why pushing harder often makes it worse, and what this phase is really asking of you on an identity and nervous system level.
This isn’t motivation, and it isn’t about quitting.
It’s about understanding the cost of becoming someone new — and why feeling this way doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.
If you’re in the middle of the climb and questioning yourself, this video is for you.
Watch on: https://youtu.be/vj3-6wBB_L8 (https://youtu.be/vj3-6wBB_L8)
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