Divorce Actually

About Divorce Actually

Nobody tells you what to actually do. Your lawyer handles the law. Your therapist handles the feelings. Nobody hands you a framework for the hundred decisions in between, what to say in that text, how to walk into mediation, when to hold and when to fold. Divorce, Actually is the show for that gap. Decision-making frameworks, communication strategy, negotiation architecture. The parts no one else is covering. Hosted by Iman Ibrahim. Nineteen years as a family lawyer in Singapore and England & Wales, now running a high conflict divorce coach & mediator at the Divorce Atelier.

Publisher

Iman Ibrahim

Category

society & culture

Language

en

Explicit

No

First episode

11 Feb 2026

Latest episode

12 Oct 2026

Latest episodes

15 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   12 Oct 2026

   Shared Care and Control, Honestly | Divorce Actually

   Parenting half the time was not the plan. In this mini episode, my sister Pudding talks about what shared care and control actually feels like when you don't see your child every day: nesting, handovers, decisions you both have to agree on, and the one thing she'd tell a parent about to start.Pudding is a divorced mom of one with a shared care and control order, nearly two years in. This is one person's lived experience, not legal advice, and every family's arrangement is different.In this episode:- Why most of us never plan for a week without our child- How nesting turned into two days, three days, then a week at a time- What she does with the days she doesn't have her daughter- What happens when one parent wants the extracurricular and the other says "not on my time"- Why handovers work better for them when the parents never cross paths- The one thing she'd tell a parent starting out: don't take it personally// CHAPTERS00:00 The assumption nobody talks about01:14 What shared care and control actually means02:41 Co-parent vs counter-parent03:08 The thing she said that stuck with me04:04 When it hit that it wouldn't be every day06:47 Getting comfortable: nesting, two days, three days, a week09:04 Finding the beauty in the week without her11:31 Who makes the decisions13:02 Even good systems have hard mornings14:53 Extracurriculars and "not on my time"18:25 Handovers, uniforms and favourite toys20:47 Why the parents don't cross paths at handover22:28 The one thing she'd tell a parent starting out23:02 Don't take it personally25:06 Be kind to yourself: grace and space26:15 Wrapping up and what's next// RESOURCES🔥 Learn how you can achieve an Amicable Divorce with my free workshop: https://divorceatelier.com/amicable-workshop🔥 Get prepared for your upcoming mediation with the frameworks on communication and negotiation that work, whether your divorce is amicable or not: https://divorceatelier.com/mediation-arc About Iman:Iman Ibrahim spent 19 years as a family lawyer in Singapore and England before founding The Divorce Atelier where she helps people navigate divorce with the decision-making, negotiation, and communication frameworks that actually move you forward. She's a CDC Certified Divorce Coach, mediator, parenting coach and hosts Divorce, Actually.Let's connect:Iman Ibrahim https://www.instagram.com/theimanibrahim/ Pudding ibrahim https://www.instagram.com/puddingibrahim/// DISCLAIMERThis podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not legal advice, and listening to it does not create a coach-client, lawyer-client, or therapeutic relationship. Divorce law and process vary by jurisdiction — nothing here substitutes for advice from a lawyer licensed where you live, or support from a licensed mental health professional. Guest views are their own.Keywords: amicable divorce, mutual agreement divorce, divorce by mutual agreement, divorce mediation, uncontested divorce, divorce without conflict, co-parenting after divorce, how to have an amicable divorce, divorce settlement process, divorce coach, family law, shared care and control, care and control, custody, Divorce Actually podcast, Iman Ibrahim

2. 

   29 Sept 2026

   Emotional Regulation is How You Stay Present for Your Kids in Divorce | Divorce Actually

   Is there a right way to parent through divorce? Guest expert Dr. Katrina Gisbert-Tay is a medical doctor, a certified parenting coach, executive wellbeing coach, and somatic practitioner based in Singapore. She's also a mother of three. In this conversation, we get into why "right vs. wrong" is the wrong frame for parenting through divorce, the real difference between guilt and shame, why your kids can read your nervous system before you say a word, and the exact practice she gives her clients to stay grounded when things get hard, even at 2am.// CHAPTERS0:00 Open0:06 Series recap + Dr. Katrina intro1:46 Katrina welcomed — is there a right way and a wrong way?2:23 Conscious vs. unconscious parenting (the real distinction)5:09 "The boring way" — turning down the heat, being grounded6:36 Presence vs. hours spent (the 10-hours-checking-email test)7:34 Kids can read your nervous system8:28 Same thing shows up in leaders (the CEO example)9:04 Callback: the stepmom/stepdaughter episodes9:41 Teenagers still need presence — it's a 2-year-old tantrum in a bigger body11:31 Holding teenagers differently — wider boundaries, same belonging12:20 It always traces back to childhood13:52 Your best isn't the same as their best15:22 How a parent builds self-awareness15:59 The overwhelm that shows up in divorce coaching17:22 Getting grounded before you make decisions — "stuck in the mud"18:43 Why you need a village (and why it's harder to find than you think)20:56 The trap of "best parent, best leader, best at everything"21:31 The 1% shift — base camp, not Everest22:26 Slow down to go fast24:24 Guilt vs. shame — the real difference26:22 Forgiveness isn't about the other person27:56 "Suffering is optional"29:13 On track / off track — replacing right vs. wrong30:37 Living by design vs. living by drift32:59 How to stay anchored when hurdles come up33:47 What a somatic anchor actually is36:00 The 2am text test38:16 The framework: Attention, Awareness, Acceptance, Action39:31 Close// RESOURCES🔥 Learn how you can achieve an Amicable Divorce with my free workshop: https://divorceatelier.com/amicable-workshop🔥 Parenting and Co-Parenting with Iman: https://divorceatelier.com/parenting-sessions➤ HELP OTHERS SUBSCRIBE WITH THIS LINK: https://www.youtube.com/@UCUD7Hg4M01ZYVGTc7vuHv1g // OTHER VIDEOS TO CHECK OUTMY DAUGHTER IS ONLY HOME HALF THE TIME➤ https://youtu.be/vPMQSLZiGy8?si=buNeKcZZQzIT6LuU I AM A CHILD OF DIVORCE➤ https://youtu.be/nVDvJY2Yll8?si=5oaEnkF7FmqxhkipIMAN on DR KAT's podcast UNPOLISHED WISDOM➤ https://youtu.be/kMN3t8ynnmA?si=ZwiqeBmOzDJHkP17About Iman:Iman Ibrahim spent 19 years as a family lawyer in Singapore and England & Wales before founding The Divorce Atelier where she helps people navigate divorce with the decision-making, negotiation, and communication frameworks that actually move you forward. She's a CDC Certified Divorce Coach, parenting coach and mediator, and hosts Divorce, Actually.Let's connectIman Ibrahim https://www.instagram.com/theimanibrahim/Dr Katrina Gisbert-Tay https://www.instagram.com/drkatrinagisberttay/Unpolished Wisdom https://www.youtube.com/@UCr45C7Ny_yzwYMYH69-R4ZQ // DISCLAIMER This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not legal advice, and listening to it does not create a coach-client, lawyer-client, or therapeutic relationship. Divorce law and process vary by jurisdiction — nothing here substitutes for advice from a lawyer licensed where you live, or support from a licensed mental health professional. Dr Kat's views are her own.KEYWORDS emotional regulation divorce, co-parenting regulation, self-regulation parenting, nervous system divorce, guilt vs shame parenting, conscious parenting divorce, somatic parentingHashtags: #DivorceActually #CoParenting #EmotionalRegulation #ConsciousParenting #DivorceCoach #SomaticHealing #parentingthroughdivorce

3. 

   15 Sept 2026

   The Child of Divorce then Stepdaughter: A Blended Family | Divorce Actually Episode 13

   Her parents split when she was 7. Got back together when she was 10. Split again when she was 15. And by 18, she'd gone from only child to the oldest of three brand-new step-siblings.My guest today is Denyse - a lawyer, commissioner for oaths, notary public, and a dear friend of mine. But today she's not here as a legal expert. She's here as someone who actually lived the thing so many of my divorcing clients worry about: what happens to the child. We talk through every age her family changed shape, what she understood at each one, and what she only understands now, looking back.This episode pairs with The Stepmother Side: Two Homes, One Family — two different women, two different vantage points on what it takes to blend one.00:00 Intro: Divorce, Actually01:43 Welcome, Denyse03:18 The First Split, Age Seven04:50 Dad Remarries: A New Blended Family07:32 The Weight of Being Called "Broken"09:36 Three New Step-siblings, One Complicated Family11:52 "That's Not Broken. That's Blended."13:55 Was She Relieved When Her Parents Divorced?15:41 The Double Standard for Mothers Who Leave21:45 A Childhood Conversation About Love24:29 Caught in the Middle: A Turning Point26:05 Reconciliation, Then a Second Split28:15 The Guilt She Carried as a Teenager30:16 Finding Support Outside the Family32:01 Becoming the Oldest of Three, Overnight34:40 Learning to Navigate a New Stepmother38:39 What She'd Tell Her Younger Self40:58 The Surprise Question43:06 Closing Thoughts// RESOURCES🔥 Learn how you can achieve an Amicable Divorce with my free workshop: https://divorceatelier.com/amicable-workshop🔥 Parenting Coaching with Iman: https://divorceatelier.com/parenting-sessions➤ HELP OTHERS SUBSCRIBE WITH THIS LINK: https://www.youtube.com/@UCUD7Hg4M01ZYVGTc7vuHv1g // OTHER VIDEOS TO CHECK OUTMY DAUGHTER IS ONLY HOME HALF THE TIME➤ https://youtu.be/vPMQSLZiGy8PARENTING EXPERT'S DO'S and DON'TS➤ Coming soon.... About Iman:Iman Ibrahim spent 19 years as a family lawyer in Singapore and England & Wales before founding The Divorce Atelier where she helps people navigate divorce with the decision-making, negotiation, and communication frameworks that actually move you forward. She's a CDC Certified Divorce Coach, parenting coach and mediator, and hosts Divorce, Actually.Let's connectIman Ibrahim https://www.instagram.com/theimanibrahim/Denyse Yeo https://www.linkedin.com/in/denyse-yeo-3044aa7/// DISCLAIMER This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not legal advice, and listening to it does not create a coach-client, lawyer-client, or therapeutic relationship. Divorce law and process vary by jurisdiction — nothing here substitutes for advice from a lawyer licensed where you live, or support from a licensed mental health professional. Paula's views are her own.KEYWORDS child of divorce, blended family, stepfamily, growing up after divorce, divorce and children, remarriage and stepchildren

4. 

   15 Sept 2026

   I Am a Stepmother: Blending a Family | Divorce Actually Episode 12

   One of her children is only there half of the time.In this episode, I'm sitting down with Paula, founder of Kakuaa Coaching, who's living the exact thing she coaches as stepmother to her husband's daughter, and mother to the two boys they share, all under one roof. We talk about what she and her husband negotiated before they ever blended their household, how they make decisions once you're actually living it, and what it's really like when one of your kids is only home half the time.Paula doesn't pretend this is easy or that she's "got it figured out" - she's refreshingly honest that there's no finish line here, just an ongoing, evolving negotiation. If you're blending a family, married into one, or just trying to understand what it takes to co-parent well across two households, this conversation is worth your full attention.This episode pairs with The Child of Divorce Story: Two Divorces, a Blended Family — a different vantage point on what it takes to blend one.// CHAPTERS00:00 – What Nobody Tells You About Blending a Family01:46 – Meet Paula: Stepmother, Mother, Coach02:01 – A Week in a Blended Household03:52 – What They Negotiated Before Blending06:09 – Aligning as Co-Parents (and With the Other Household)08:09 – The Parallel to an Amicable Divorce10:56 – "Going Back to Beige": Staying Neutral12:48 – The Thing They Didn't Plan For: Her Own Voice16:21 – Boundaries: What "Within Reason" Actually Means19:42 – Keeping Consistency Across Two Households22:10 – Is There Ever a "We've Got This" Moment?23:56 – Becoming One of Five24:49 – Helping Her Sons Understand Two Homes28:59 – Household Rules: What Has to Match, What Doesn't32:08 – The Boundary Paula Set for Herself34:24 – Advice to Her First-Year Self35:19 – Where to Find Paula36:20 – Closing Thoughts// RESOURCES🔥 Learn how you can achieve an Amicable Divorce with my free workshop: https://divorceatelier.com/amicable-workshop🔥 "Two Homes" by Claire Masurel, the children's book Paula used to explain two-household life to her son: https://amzn.to/4hoZDgj➤ HELP OTHERS SUBSCRIBE WITH THIS LINK: https://www.youtube.com/@UCUD7Hg4M01ZYVGTc7vuHv1g // OTHER VIDEOS TO CHECK OUTCHILD OF DIVORCE, THEN A STEPDAUGHTER➤ https://youtu.be/nVDvJY2Yll8PARENTING EXPERT'S DO'S and DON'TS➤ Coming soon.... About Iman:Iman Ibrahim spent 19 years as a family lawyer in Singapore and England & Wales before founding The Divorce Atelier where she helps people navigate divorce with the decision-making, negotiation, and communication frameworks that actually move you forward. She's a CDC Certified Divorce Coach, parenting coach and mediator, and hosts Divorce, Actually.Let's connectIman Ibrahim https://www.instagram.com/theimanibrahim/Paula Dellocchio https://www.instagram.com/kakuaa_coaching/Kakua Coaching https://www.kakuaacoaching.com/// DISCLAIMER This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not legal advice, and listening to it does not create a coach-client, lawyer-client, or therapeutic relationship. Divorce law and process vary by jurisdiction — nothing here substitutes for advice from a lawyer licensed where you live, or support from a licensed mental health professional. Paula's views are her own.Keywords:blended family, stepmother, co-parenting, blending a family, second marriage parenting, stepparent role, 50/50 custody, blended household rules, sibling dynamics blended family, divorce coach, family law, Divorce Actually podcast, Iman Ibrahim, Paula Dellocchio, Kakuaa Coaching

5. 

   2 Sept 2026

   Choose Your Divorce Mediator Wisely | Divorce Actually Episode 11

   Don't shoot the messenger they say. Nobody mentions what happens when the messenger is a trained lawyer, but not trained for this.Raeza Ibrahim is a civil and commercial litigator, and an accredited mediator but strictly commercial and civil disputes. Family law is a territory he's never trained in and actively avoids.Yet more than once, friends going through divorce have asked him to stand in the middle anyway, simply because they are friends. Today he's talking about what happened when his professional toolkit met unfamiliar, deeply personal terrain, and what does/doesn't translate. I also bring my own perspective as a former family lawyer and mediator.We talk through what works, and what doesn't, and the question everyone should ask first, is this friendship-ending?Take the Divorce Readiness Diagnostic https://imanibrahim.kit.com/divorce-diagnosticWhat You'll Learn- The difference between conflict calming and conflict resolution — and why the second is the harder skill to learn- The "three hats" method he built for managing two emotionally raw people without losing his own neutrality- Why the first thing he tried — sitting both people in a room and asking them to just talk — backfired immediately, and what he did instead- Why putting requests in writing changed the entire dynamic, and how a strict word limit forced clarity- The custody spreadsheet story — why he built a formula, and why he deliberately only built it to last four months- What made him step back from one mediation entirely, and the three real reasons behind it- Why free mediation removes the pressure that makes paid mediation move faster- What to actually look for in the person you ask to stand in the middle — official or not- Why the real first question isn't "will this work," it's "is it friendship-ending"0:00 Intro: "Don't Shoot the Messenger"1:15 Welcome, Raeza1:24 How He Got Pulled Into the Role2:18 Wait — You're Both Accredited Mediators3:13 The Hardest Buttons: Kids, Time, Money4:06 Conflict Calming vs. Conflict Resolution6:12 Trial and Error: What Works for One Doesn't Work for All8:16 A Minefield: What Anyone Considering This Role Should Know9:12 The Unnatural Skill of Staying Neutral10:23 The Three Hats Method13:56 It's Never Just One Issue14:44 Friend Mediator vs. Paid Mediator: What Changes16:15 Why Face-to-Face Backfired18:02 Getting It in Writing20:58 The Custody Spreadsheet Story24:55 When He Stepped Back — and Why28:05 Communication Is the Common Thread29:18 Free vs. Paid: Why "Free" Changes Behaviour31:01 The Couple He Couldn't Fully Help33:05 Is It Friendship-Ending?34:44 What to Look for in Your Person in the Middle35:54 What He Needs From the People He's Helping38:44 Even in a Fought Divorce, This Still Matters41:06 Outro: Communication Remains the KeyKeywords: amicable divorce, mutual agreement divorce, divorce by mutual agreement, divorce mediation, uncontested divorce, divorce without conflict, co-parenting after divorce, how to have an amicable divorce, divorce settlement process, divorce coach, family law, Divorce Actually podcast, Iman Ibrahim, Singapore mediator, divorce mediatorAbout Iman:Iman Ibrahim spent 19 years as a family lawyer in Singapore and England & Wales before founding The Divorce Atelier where she helps people navigate divorce with the decision-making, negotiation, and communication frameworks that actually move you forward. She's a CDC Certified Divorce Coach and mediator, and hosts Divorce, Actually.Divorce Atelier https://divorceatelier.comIman Ibrahim https://www.instagram.com/theimanibrahim/Raeza ibrahim https://www.linkedin.com/in/raezaibrahim/

6. 

   22 Aug 2026

   Inside a Real Amicable Divorce - His Story | Divorce Actually

   Not sure where to start untangling your own situation? Take the free Divorce Readiness Diagnostic https://imanibrahim.kit.com/divorce-diagnostic (https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUM4Zm9rUzlTMG10M1VSU2ZiRjRIU2Y3amxORnxBR3JiS2FsTm5DVjhaaURFRDBSQUFzWjhHcERtMWJzQ1pVQnhmSkplMGZuNXhIVS1vM2V1bUlPOUJqN2MzZlFxOU5LVVBKQTFfU0NQbjl4RVJVb3Y1NGtCMGpHcnVlVGtCWl9X&q=https%3A%2F%2Fimanibrahim.kit.com%2Fdivorce-diagnostic&v=cP6s7Uykglk) Everyone says they want an amicable divorce. Most people mean it but they just don't always appreciate what it actually requires. In this episode, Franklin shares his side of a real neutral-agreement divorce: no court battle, no drawn-out fight over terms. Iman talks with him about what it actually took to hold to that standard, even in the moments where it would've been easier not to. This is part one of a two-part series; her side of the same story is live now. Keywords:amicable divorce, divorce by mutual agreement, divorce mediation, uncontested divorce, divorce without conflict, co-parenting after divorce, how to have an amicable divorce, divorce settlement process, divorce coach, family law, Divorce Actually podcast, Iman Ibrahim About Iman:Iman Ibrahim spent 19 years as a family lawyer in Singapore and England before founding The Divorce Atelier, where she helps people navigate divorce with the decision-making, negotiation, and communication frameworks that actually move you forward. She's a CDC Certified Divorce Coach and mediator, and hosts Divorce, Actually. Divorce Atelier https://divorceatelier.com/ Iman Ibrahim  https://www.instagram.com/theimanibrahim/ (https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUM4Zm9rUzNwaFRuNlhWeHgwRHRRRXd6TnBMc3xBR3JiS2FsLVJjZVZjeDNCRlZiNEx5TXRsQ2pZeThmY1NyQVoyNEpjOGRER2VLSS00dk00V2JadlM1VmpIY1h4bDhJS05nWWY0YmdsV2d1b05FQWdNakJvOTZpVzJiUUpiMzRF&q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.instagram.com%2Ftheimanibrahim%2F&v=cP6s7Uykglk) Franklin Pennell  https://www.instagram.com/remedy.pt/ (https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUM4Zm9rUVNqX2pWY3dUUjZCRmNHUnE5YXhMUnxBR3JiS2FsdXBLYmQyQlQyOEVzNzhMYW1FSHFRWUNiWnFTdDlLWlhlYUJ0VUs2M3Zjd3R4ME96Z1hXR0RYc21KRFVfQmpwalNfdGhmN2hkVnZEd0szLTliUzJyLUpOazFKUkpD&q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.instagram.com%2Fremedy.pt%2F&v=cP6s7Uykglk)

7. 

   22 Aug 2026

   Inside a Real Amicable Divorce - Her Story | Divorce Actually

   Not sure where to start untangling your own situation? Take the free Divorce Readiness Diagnostic: https://imanibrahim.kit.com/divorce-diagnostic (https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUM4Zm9rUzJMeW9IYjd2TGFNX2s4RkhuREpvcnxBR3JiS2FuVmJVU29XRUptaVlZOFNub0NUWTlIS3J1MWtEM2VEVzRyRjJHSHRDc29fODdyM2V4bmNHM2JTYjFxd0xiTUllYzVKVnRnRnZydFdSRVA3LU1OT3pJOWRZcEVfUVhT&q=https%3A%2F%2Fimanibrahim.kit.com%2Fdivorce-diagnostic&v=1vMwGwhrgBY) Divorce By Mutual Agreement: Everyone says they want an amicable divorce. Most people mean it but they don't always appreciate what it actually requires. In this episode, Pudding Ibrahim shares her side of a real divorce by mutual agreement: no court battle, no drawn-out fight over terms. Iman talks with her about what an amicable mindset took to maintain, and how two people can experience the same process very differently. This is part one of a two-part series - go and listen to his side for the fuller picture. Keywords: amicable divorce, mutual agreement divorce, divorce by mutual agreement, divorce mediation, uncontested divorce, divorce without conflict, co-parenting after divorce, how to have an amicable divorce, divorce settlement process, divorce coach, family law, Divorce Actually podcast, Iman Ibrahim About Iman: Iman Ibrahim spent 19 years as a family lawyer in Singapore and England before founding The Divorce Atelier where she helps people navigate divorce with the decision-making, negotiation, and communication frameworks that actually move you forward. She's a CDC Certified Divorce Coach and mediator, and hosts Divorce, Actually. Divorce Atelier https://divorceatelier.com (https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUM4Zm9rUzhvbi1QUlhpdnRZVkV5c1h6THlqSHxBR3JiS2FudmVNN2Q3elpDWERJX3g0WTNUckhudHFLNE91QS1hQnZoY0V2ZmVpZHVrY3g2aXljYy10TXhZb05WWmFFYW9yUzRpakhpc3pRYlQwc2hvR0E4T0J0Q21kN3o3MEdw&q=https%3A%2F%2Fdivorceatelier.com%2F&v=1vMwGwhrgBY) Iman Ibrahim   https://www.instagram.com/theimanibrahim/ (https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUM4Zm9rVFUxNVpMU0FVQ3NFQWtlV29DbEhWeHxBR3JiS2FuVXZ1clIyYzl2LTBNNlE2eWRGXzlmcS1GOVc4M1g4N3F0YkdqTzRXTFpvTXBfWDh1aVNybW9fajVCMHdRM1otZ2dVclZPbDZYa2tsaW9nblV2M05oTVlGZGVRRXlN&q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.instagram.com%2Ftheimanibrahim%2F&v=1vMwGwhrgBY) Pudding ibrahim  https://www.instagram.com/puddingibrahim/ (https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUM4Zm9rUlZwVU5aS2NrUXpHdEUzUVJkUGp2VXxBR3JiS2FuVjFNdnlRWXBRMWFiaERTSTVDd0M0Y3BCYVhsMHVKY1BSSTVoR24zSm9FUDE4V2k4WWRYLTd5OVd1c0RMMzMtNkF2VzhCTUdJcVVJaWVYNGxSVnJvc0FibWJ2VmdU&q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.instagram.com%2Fpuddingibrahim%2F&v=1vMwGwhrgBY)

8. 

   14 Apr 2026

   How to Prepare for Your Divorce Lawyer Meeting | Divorce Actually Episode 8

   The problem isn't finding a good lawyer. It's knowing how to use one well. That means arriving with an agenda instead of a download, knowing what your lawyer actually needs versus what you need to say, and building habits between meetings that protect both your strategy and your budget. In this episode: Why most clients confuse what they need to say with what their lawyer needs to hear How to structure a meeting agenda so every session has a measurable outcome The three documents to have organised before you engage a lawyer at all The filter for deciding what has legal relevance and what doesn't What good instructions actually look like and why bad ones are expensive What should and shouldn't happen between meetings How to use AI as a preparation tool without mistaking it for legal advice The questions to ask your lawyer, not just answer How to close every meeting so nothing gets lost The Divorce Readiness Diagnostic: a free 15-minute self-assessment covering the four areas most people are underprepared in https://imanibrahim.kit.com/divorce-diagnostic Chapters 00:00 Maximizing Lawyer Meetings: The Importance of Preparation 02:09 Effective Communication: What Lawyers Need to Hear 02:38 Agenda for Lawyer Discussions 04:18 One Question to ask at the END of the discussion 04:41 Your Documents 05:23 MUST DO: Your Timeline 06:23 MUST DO: Asset Schedule 07:00 CAN DO: Communication Log 08:02 BEST Questions for Your Lawyer 09:46 FILTER: How to Know What To Ask? 10:12 Give GOOD Instructions 12:04 What Happens In Between Meetings? 13:11 You NEED this System 14:42 Using AI 17:07 Questions To Ask 19:41 Close the Meeting With THIS 21:13 Super Useful: DO THIS 22:00 Here's To YOU About Divorce, Actually: The podcast about decision-making and communication frameworks for divorce. The space between legal advice and emotional processing, where most people get stuck. Hosted by Iman Ibrahim: After 19 years as a family lawyer in Singapore and England & Wales, Iman founded The Divorce Atelier — providing the strategic frameworks, preparation systems, and communication architecture that bridge the gap between what lawyers can give you and what you actually need. Get in touch or work together:  https://divorceatelier.com/ Keywords: how to prepare for lawyer meeting, divorce lawyer meeting tips, divorce legal costs, divorce preparation, how to instruct your lawyer, divorce strategy, family lawyer Singapore, divorce coach, divorce process Singapore, legal fees divorce, divorce documents, divorce communication, divorce organisation

9. 

   14 Apr 2026

   How To Choose Your Lawyer | Divorce Actually Episode 7

   Most people choose a divorce lawyer the way they choose a contractor. Someone recommends a name. You book a consultation. You feel like you're doing something. Sometimes that works out. Sometimes it costs you $40,000 and eighteen months to find out you hired the wrong person for the wrong problem. Choosing the right lawyer isn't about finding the most aggressive or the best-reviewed. It's about knowing what kind of conflict you're actually in before you walk into any consultation and knowing how to assess fit once you're there. In this episode: Why even a good lawyer can't work well with bad instructions Whether you actually need a lawyer, or whether another process suits your situation better How to read your own conflict profile and why most people misread theirs The three types of family lawyers and how to match the right one to your circumstances Whether to consult more than one lawyer before deciding What to assess in a first consultation beyond reputation and fees The questions most people forget to ask — and the red flags most people miss How to think about cost structures and what to ask about billing before you commit The Divorce Readiness Diagnostic — a free 15-minute self-assessment covering the four areas most people are underprepared in before they engage any professional is at https://imanibrahim.kit.com/divorce-diagnostic Chapters: 00:00 Choosing the Right Lawyer For Divorce 02:27 Step 1: Being Honest 06:25 Step 2: Do You Even Need A Lawyer 06:52 Understanding Divorce Processes 09:50 Step 3: Identifying Your Conflict Profile 12:13 Step 4: The Type of Lawyer 14:57 MISTAKE - Don't Do This 15:23 Consulting 2 or more lawyers ? 17:43 Step 5: Preparing for the first meeting 19:46 Step 6: Assessing the Lawyer 25:41 Recognising Red Flags in Lawyers 27:25 Understanding Legal Fees and Costs 29:45 Finding The Right Strategic Partner 30:52 Preview Next Episode About Divorce, Actually: The podcast about decision-making and communication frameworks for divorce. The space between legal advice and emotional processing, where most people get stuck. Hosted by Iman Ibrahim: After 19 years as a family lawyer in Singapore and England & Wales, Iman founded The Divorce Atelier providing the strategic frameworks, preparation systems, and communication architecture that bridge the gap between what lawyers can give you and what you actually need. Get in touch or work together: https://divorceatelier.com/ Keywords: how to choose a divorce lawyer, divorce lawyer Singapore, family lawyer consultation, divorce mediation vs litigation, collaborative divorce, divorce legal advice, how to hire a family lawyer, divorce costs, divorce process, divorce strategy, family law Singapore, divorce coach, divorce preparation, legal fees divorce

10. 

    4 Mar 2026

    Questions To Ask | Divorce Actually Episode 6

    Have you ever asked someone a question, gotten a perfectly good answer, and still felt completely stuck? This is the diagnostic episode. Where Episode 5 gives you the clarity framework, Episode 6 gives you the question-refinement tool. Here's what happens: the question you ask is almost never the question you need answered. Especially in divorce. Because the real questions feel too scary or too vulnerable to ask out loud. So they get translated into safer questions. But answering the safer question doesn't help - because it's not the actual problem. After 19 years of practice, I kept seeing the same four real questions underneath every surface question: "Will I be okay?" - the security question that no amount of financial analysis resolves"Am I allowed to want this?" - the permission question that makes people negotiate with one hand behind their back "Will he/she let me?" - the control question that surrenders your agency before the process even starts"Does this make me the bad person?" - the moral question disguised as strategic questions This episode teaches you how to diagnose which question you're actually asking - and how to get it answered. What we cover: Why professional advice so often doesn't help (it's a translation problem, not a competence problem) The four real questions with concrete examples from real cases The "feels wrong" diagnostic: how to catch the translation error in real time How to use this framework with your lawyer, mediator, and yourself What to do when you're in survival mode and can't even identify the real question The acknowledgment question: what the legal process cannot give you About Divorce, Actually:The podcast about decision-making and communication frameworks for divorce. The space between legal advice and emotional processing, where most people get stuck. Hosted by Iman Ibrahim:After 19 years as a family lawyer in Singapore and England & Wales, Iman founded The Divorce Atelier - providing the strategic frameworks, preparation systems, and communication architecture that bridge the gap between what lawyers can give you and what you actually need. Get in touch:Questions, feedback, or want to work together? Visit divorceatelier.com or find Iman on Instagram @divorceatelier Keywords: divorce questions, asking the right questions, divorce advice not helping, high conflict divorce, permission to leave, will I be okay divorce, controlling ex partner, divorce guilt, moral questions divorce, working with divorce lawyer, divorce clarity, decision paralysis, Singapore divorce, family lawyer, strategic divorce, divorce coaching, separation advice

11. 

    28 Feb 2026

    Figuring Out What You Want | Divorce Actually Episode 5

    By the time most people come to me, they have enormous amounts of information and almost no clarity. They've Googled, consulted lawyers, know what's legally possible - and still can't decide anything.The problem: they know what's available, but they haven't decided what they want. And those are completely different questions.Most people enter divorce with inherited goals. Their lawyer told them to go for the matrimonial home. Their mother thinks they deserve more. Their friend's divorce three years ago created a benchmark. They've absorbed everyone else's picture of a good outcome without ever asking whether it fits their actual life.This episode gives you the framework for figuring out what you actually want - and more importantly, what you're willing to trade for it.What we cover:- The three domains: financial security, relational peace, and time/autonomy- Why financial security and financial victory are not the same thing- How the way you fight determines how you land (and shapes your co-parenting relationship for 20 years)- The ranking exercise: how to identify your actual priorities versus what you think you should want- The two-column tool: non-negotiables versus tradeable items- Why clarity makes you harder to manipulate and makes your lawyer more effective- What clarity actually protects you from in high-conflict divorce00:00 Understanding What You Want in Divorce01:01 What You're Entitled To v What You Want02:14 How You Get Your Advice04:56 Mediator Perspective05:41 The Three Domains06:19 Domain 1: Financial Security09:06 Domain 2: Peace and Functionality10:56 Domain 3: Time, Autonomy and Your New Life13:32 For My High-Functioners13:57 MUST-DO Exercise18:26 Non-negotiables v Trade-offs21:57 Giving Your Lawyer Better Instructions23:57 What You're Going To Do NextAbout Divorce, Actually:The podcast about decision-making and communication frameworks for divorce. The space between legal advice and emotional processing, where most people get stuck.Hosted by Iman Ibrahim:After 19 years as a family lawyer in Singapore and England & Wales, Iman founded The Divorce Atelier - providing the strategic frameworks, preparation systems, and communication architecture that bridge the gap between what lawyers can give you and what you actually need.Get in touch:Questions, feedback, or want to work together? Visit divorceatelier.com or find Iman on Instagram @divorceatelierKeywords: divorce priorities, what do I want in divorce, divorce decision framework, financial security divorce, co-parenting strategy, divorce settlement decisions, high conflict divorce, divorce clarity, non-negotiables divorce, divorce negotiation, Singapore divorce, family lawyer advice, strategic divorce planning, divorce mediation preparation

12. 

    25 Feb 2026

    Divorce Decision Frameworks - Divorce Actually Episode 4

    You're stuck between two options that both feel terrible. You've analyzed yourself in circles. You keep thinking "I just need more information" but what you're really waiting for is certainty that will never come. Here's what I'd walk you through in a coaching session: First, we'd get honest about what you're actually optimizing for - not what you think you should value, but what you're genuinely unwilling to compromise on. Because often you say "the kids' wellbeing" but your behavior shows you're actually optimizing for being right. Neither is wrong. But you have to know which one is actually driving you. Then I'd give you five frameworks for impossible decisions: The Regret Test: It's five years from now. You chose Option A - what do you regret? Now Option B - what do you regret? You're not looking for the no-regret option. You're looking for the manageable regret. Which one doesn't destroy you? The Values Hierarchy: When your values conflict - kids' stability versus your financial security, peace versus fairness - which actually wins? Rank them honestly, then map each option against your real hierarchy. The Disaster Scenario: What's the worst case for each option? Can you survive both? If yes, you're choosing between acceptable risks, not catastrophic ones. This removes the paralysis. The Decision Deadline: Pick a date. Gather information until then, but on that date, you decide based on the data you have - not how you feel. Then you commit for 90 days minimum. No daily referendum on your choice. The Revision Protocol: Set objective triggers for when you'll reconsider - not "if I feel differently" but "if material facts change." Prevents constant second-guessing while allowing flexibility. By the end of this episode, you'll have the exact frameworks I use with coaching clients to move from analysis paralysis to decisions you can execute without constantly re-litigating. About Divorce, Actually:The podcast about decision-making and communication frameworks for divorce. The space between legal advice and emotional processing, where most people get stuck. Hosted by Iman Ibrahim:After 19 years as a family lawyer in Singapore and England & Wales, Iman founded The Divorce Atelier - providing the strategic frameworks, preparation systems, and communication architecture that bridge the gap between what lawyers can give you and what you actually need. Get in touch:Questions, feedback, or want to work together? Visit divorceatelier.com or find Iman on Instagram @divorceatelier Keywords: divorce decision making, stay or leave decision, decision paralysis, impossible decisions, divorce choices, leaving marriage decision, divorce regret, decision framework, values clarification, strategic decision making, divorce coaching, separation decision, divorce clarity, making hard choices, Singapore divorce, divorce strategy, family lawyer advice

13. 

    24 Feb 2026

    Divorce Communication - Every Message is Evidence - Divorce Actually Episode 3

    Every text, every email, every WhatsApp message you send during divorce has two audiences. The visible audience: your ex-partner. The invisible audience: the mediator, judge, or custody evaluator who will read it 6 months, 12 months, 24 months from now with zero context. Most people write only for the visible audience - trying to convince, explain, defend. But the invisible audience is the one who actually matters. They're making decisions about your custody arrangement, your finances, your credibility. And they're forming opinions based on how you communicate. This episode teaches you how to write for the people who actually make decisions about your life. Because once you understand that every message is evidence - not evidence of what happened, but evidence of who you are - your entire communication strategy shifts. What we cover: Why the invisible audience matters more than the person you're actually texting How to write messages that create good evidence instead of bad evidence Real before-and-after examples of strategic vs. emotional communication When to put things in writing versus having conversations verbally How to respond to long emotional attacks without making things worse The biggest mistakes people make that undermine their position in court About Divorce, Actually:The podcast about decision-making and communication frameworks for divorce. The space between legal advice and emotional processing, where most people get stuck. Hosted by Iman Ibrahim:After 19 years as a family lawyer in Singapore and England & Wales, Iman founded The Divorce Atelier - providing the strategic frameworks, preparation systems, and communication architecture that bridge the gap between what lawyers can give you and what you actually need. Get in touch:Questions, feedback, or want to work together? Visit divorceatelier.com or find Iman on Instagram @divorceatelier Keywords: divorce evidence, text messages divorce, email communication divorce, custody documentation, family court evidence, divorce mediation, co-parenting messages, divorce communication strategy, what not to text your ex, divorce text evidence, building your case, court evidence divorce, strategic communication, mediator perspective, Singapore divorce, family lawyer advice, divorce documentation

14. 

    12 Feb 2026

    Convincing The Unreasonable Ex - Divorce Actually Episode 2

    You've explained it five different ways. You've provided evidence. You've been calm, then firm, then emotional, then logical. And nothing works. Because this isn't a communication problem. It's a strategy problem. Trying to reach understanding with an unreasonable person is structural failure - not communication failure. You're using a strategy designed for reasonable people on someone who isn't operating in good faith. This episode breaks down how to recognise when you're stuck in this pattern, why facts don't matter to unreasonable people, and what to do instead. Because the moment you stop writing for your ex and start writing for the judge who'll read it in 18 months - everything changes. What we cover: How to tell the difference between someone who's upset and someone who's genuinely unreasonable Why providing more evidence, more clarity, more explanation makes things worse not better What strategic communication actually looks like when convincing isn't the goal How to respond to emotional attacks without creating bad evidence The communication shift that changes everything About Divorce, Actually:The podcast about decision-making and communication frameworks for divorce. The space between legal advice and emotional processing, where most people get stuck. Hosted by Iman Ibrahim:After 19 years as a family lawyer in Singapore and England & Wales, Iman is now a divorce coach and mediator. She founded The Divorce Atelier - providing the strategic frameworks, preparation systems, and communication architecture that bridge the gap between what lawyers can give you and what you actually need. Get in touch:Questions, feedback, or want to work together? Visit divorceatelier.com or find Iman on Instagram @divorceatelier Keywords: unreasonable ex, high conflict divorce, difficult ex partner, divorce communication, co-parenting communication, narcissistic ex, toxic divorce, divorce strategy, custody dispute, family court, divorce evidence, text messages divorce, divorce documentation, separation communication, Singapore divorce, divorce coach, family lawyer

15. 

    11 Feb 2026

    Should I Stay Or Should I Go - Divorce Actually Episode 1

    The most common question people ask when they first reach out: should I stay or should I go? And what they're really asking is: do I have the courage to leave? Wrong question. Because what people call "needing courage" is actually needing a gameplan. Strategic staying isn't passive endurance - it's active preparation with clear milestones. Strategic leaving isn't emotional breakthrough - it's executed planning with disaster mitigation. This episode breaks down what each path actually looks like, why both require identical strategic architecture, and how to stop waiting for courage and start building positioning instead. Chapters: 00:35 This is the WRONG Question 01:57 A better approach 03:18 What I mean when I ask: What do you actually want? 04:22 Strategic Staying 07:14 Strategic Leaving 09:18 Former lawyer perspective 10:04 Four Frameworks that WORK 12:26 Quick recap 14:56 Unwanted consequences 16:52 Closing Thoughts About Divorce, Actually:The podcast about decision-making and communication frameworks for divorce. The space between legal advice and emotional processing, where most people get stuck. Hosted by Iman Ibrahim:After 19 years as a family lawyer in Singapore and England & Wales, Iman is now a divorce coach and mediator. She founded The Divorce Atelier - providing the strategic frameworks, preparation systems, and communication architecture that bridge the gap between what lawyers can give you and what you actually need. Get in touch:Questions, feedback, or want to work together? Visit divorceatelier.com or find Iman on Instagram @divorceatelier Keywords: divorce decision, should I stay or leave, leaving marriage, separation, strategic divorce planning, divorce preparation, custody planning, financial planning divorce, divorce communication, co-parenting strategy, Singapore divorce, family law, divorce coach

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