nothing clever....just trying hard #nocum #nonut2022 #clickbait : a podcast that needs your love and attention #117
and so the king beast trounced and pounced and shounced and shouted and he ate and gobbled everything up, except one little tiny morsel of a cute thing that scuuuurieeeeed and scrammed itself away “Nothing! THAN I am nothing!!!!” ‘why?’‘because that little thing got away?’“YES!”‘it is ok, little things sometimes scurry away, but you are a proud and beastly king.’‘these things need not bother such a great king as yourself.’“AND yet, it makes me FEEL, still, FEEL so small...”‘yes this can happen.’‘even to such a great and beastly thing as yourself.’“AM I such a SMALL thing that I cannot eat WHAT I WANT whenever I WANT???”‘you can eat whatever you want.’‘perhaps you allow the little things to thrive by themselves?’‘you don’t eat everything!’“OF course not! Then who would see me EAT?!”
4 Apr 2022
so my grandma will be 96 in march...69 backwards baaaabbbbyyyy : a podcast with a naaaaaasty grandma #alsodeath #sadsaddeath #116
and so a heavy paw rises and the 2 tinies are now able to shakily stand to their feet and cower before a mighty and great beastie.“Now run and scamper off you little darling things.”the hard booming of the beasties voice knocks them back down quick fast. but there is nothing malicious in that booming voice, only strength and booming and loud percussive force.‘perhaps we can tag along for a bit?’‘i’ve, i’ve, i’ve never felt so safe before’their voices break and quiver, but their hope for, something, ally, life shines bright. and all of it is mercilessly and completely lost on such a mighty and brightly beastie.“HAHAHA, yes little ones, you want to see how a real KING beast tramps and stramps through the night? Come and watch me eats and feasts.”‘aaaahhh but we are so tiny!’‘won’t we be trampled so easy?’“NO NO NO, no such thing, I shall protect you little things, you shall feast upon my feast, watch a real KING beast in action! ...and if I’m unlucky tonight perhaps I shall eats you HAHAHAHA!”The laugh booms and presses against them, but there is no malice, only arrogance and ignorance and a huge and frightening thing being a huge and frightening thing.‘thank you great king.’‘we are excited to see you in action great king.’
21 Feb 2022
you’re not big dik...you’re big balls : a podcast with both big dik and big balls #115
so 2 tinies cower forward into black, damp blindness. horrible and terribly wicked sounds echo and scurry around them as a wet, dense copper waft fills their noses too full. their tiny hearts beat, blat, blast against their chest, pounding deafening booms against their ear drums, until they feel a heavy hand gently encompass them and pin them gently flat against the ground.“Awww, my first meal has arrived so easily.”the voice is deep and resonate and chases all courage and hope from every corner and crevice.‘meal?’‘surely one as mighty as yourself could never be nourished by such tiny morsels.’“Ha, true, but you are merely the first morsel the night has bestowed.”‘but why ruin what will obviously be such a mighty and delicious meal?’‘we are the tiniest and sourest of tiny things and we can tell from your mighty paw’s grip you are a beastie of great renown, deserving of scrumptious, delicious and satisfying morsels.’‘we could never die with peace knowing we so poorly began your night’s meal so sour and unsatisfying.’“Awwww, I so rarely find such class and respect in these woods. You think and act well to think and act so rightly to a beastie such as myself. You are right, I deserve much better than such little things as you. You are a meal meant for some ugly and undeserving thing.”
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