Doing Divorce Different A Podcast Guide to Doing Divorce Differently

About Doing Divorce Different A Podcast Guide to Doing Divorce Differently

Divorce, co-parenting, menopause, marriage, and starting over after 40—this podcast is your guide to a healthier, faith-filled life transition. Hosted by family law attorney, mediator, and life coach Lesa Koski, each episode is designed to take the fear out of major life change and guide you toward peace—whether you’re facing separation, navigating a divorce, working to strengthen your relationship, or rebuilding your life in midlife. You’ll get heart-centered legal clarity, emotional support, and practical tools to help you heal, grow, and move forward with confidence. Topics include: Peaceful divorce strategies and mediation support Co-parenting help and parenting plans that actually work Prenups, postnups, and how to protect what matters most Emotional healing, mindset shifts, and confidence after a hard season Menopause, health changes, and how midlife affects mood, marriage, and motivation Wellness basics that make a real difference: rest, nutrition, movement, strength, and community This is more than a show about endings—it’s about becoming the woman who rises stronger, steadier, and clearer on the other side. About the Host: Lesa has spent over 25 years helping families through mediation and family law, always focused on protecting what matters most—your kids and your peace of mind. She’s also a breast cancer survivor, wellness advocate, cowgirl at heart, and follower of Jesus who believes your hardest season can become your greatest comeback. If you’re craving practical guidance, soul-level encouragement, and real conversations about rebuilding life after 40, you’re in the right place. Website: https://www.lesakoski.com/

Publisher

Lesa Koski

Category

education · health & fitness · society & culture

Language

en

Explicit

No

First episode

24 Jun 2021

Latest episode

29 Sept 2026

Latest episodes

352 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   29 Sept 2026

   How to Find Joy Again After Divorce & Hard Seasons

   How to find joy again after divorce, loss, and major life changes—plus simple ways to rediscover yourself and create more joy every day. What happens when the roles that once defined you suddenly disappear? In this episode of Doing Divorce Different, Lesa Koski sits down with attorney, law professor, and author SC Perot to talk about how to find joy again when life looks nothing like you expected. After her marriage ended and she stepped away from practicing law, SC found herself facing a profound identity shift. Long walks, a search for “good energy” music, and an unexpected love of Harry Styles became the beginning of something much bigger: a journey to understand what joy really is and how we can intentionally create more of it. SC shares the powerful question that emerged during that season: Who am I when I strip away my roles, relationships, career, and accomplishments? You'll also learn SC's four-part CAPS framework for joy: Cultivate, Adopt, Protect, and Spread. She explains how to notice your personal “joy profile,” why what brings you joy can change over time, and how noticing small moments of joy can train us to see more of them. We also explore comparison and jealousy—especially on social media—and SC's beautiful concept of “borrowed views”: allowing someone else's happiness to add beauty to your life instead of seeing it as evidence of what you're missing. If you're going through divorce, midlife change, grief, or simply wondering where you went in the middle of taking care of everyone else, this conversation is an invitation to start asking a different question: What brings me joy now? Because learning how to find joy again doesn't mean ignoring what's hard. It means remembering that hard things and beautiful things can exist at the same time. Timestamps: (00:00) Why we're talking about joy instead of divorce (03:00) SC's divorce, career change, and identity shift (07:00) Finding a new soundtrack for a new life (11:00) The unexpected Harry Styles journey (15:00) Who are you without your roles and accomplishments? (20:00) Why movement and music can help during hard seasons (25:00) Protecting the things that bring you joy (30:00) Childlike joy vs. childish behavior (34:00) The CAPS framework for finding joy (38:00) Cultivate: discovering your personal “joy profile” (43:00) Why what brings you joy can change (48:00) Learning to notice joy when it appears (52:00) Joy vs. forced gratitude (57:00) Adopt: jealousy, comparison, and social media (1:02:00) Finding “joy in the wild” (1:07:00) The powerful idea of “borrowed views” (1:12:00) Turning someone else's joy into joy for yourself (1:17:00) Protecting your joy from judgment (1:21:00) Spreading joy through generosity and kindness (1:24:00) Finding joy even when you're going through something hard Key Takeaways: Your identity is bigger than your roles. Divorce and major transitions can strip away familiar labels while creating an opportunity to rediscover who you are. Your “joy profile” can change. Something that brought you joy five years ago doesn't have to bring you joy today. Pay attention to what lights you up now. Notice joy in the wild. Sometimes we experience joy simply by witnessing someone else's happiness. Comparison doesn't have to steal your joy. SC's “borrowed views” concept offers another way to experience other people's happiness without making it mean something about your own life. Protect and spread joy. We can stop judging what brings ourselves and others happiness and intentionally add kindness, generosity, and light to the world. Guest Bio: SC Perot is an attorney, law professor, author, and speaker whose personal journey through divorce, career transition, and rediscovering joy inspired her book Styles of Joy. Her work explores how we cultivate, adopt, protect, and spread joy—and how paying attention to joy can change the way we experience even difficult seasons of life. Resource Links: Styles of Joy by SC Perot: https://www.scperot.com/book/ OsteoStrong Minnesota: https://osteostrongmn.com/affiliate-referral-koski/ Soberlink: https://www.soberlink.com/prove-sobriety/family-law?utm_source=affiliatelink&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=lesa-koski-affiliatelink Disclosure: These are affiliate links, which means I may receive a commission if you purchase through them, at no additional cost to you. Tags/Keywords: how to find joy again, finding joy after divorce, joy after divorce, divorce recovery, life after divorce, rediscover yourself after divorce, women and divorce, women over 40, midlife women, midlife transition, finding yourself after divorce, identity after divorce, healing after divorce, divorce mindset, joy and happiness, cultivating joy, comparison and jealousy, social media comparison, Styles of Joy, S.C. Perrault, Harry Styles, CAPS framework, Doing Divorce Different, Lesa Koski

2. 

   22 Sept 2026

   How to Prepare for Divorce With Confidence: Stop Using Hope as Your Strategy with Hannah Hembry Bell

   How to prepare for divorce, divorce confidence, divorce mistakes, custody, finances, and what women need to know before making major decisions. What happens when a divorce lawyer has actually lived through a difficult divorce herself? In this episode of Doing Divorce Different, I sit down with family law attorney and divorce survivor Hannah Hembry Bell for an honest conversation about how to prepare for divorce with more clarity and confidence. Hannah married young, became a mother to three children in quick succession, started law school while raising her family, and then found herself navigating her own divorce and an incredibly difficult custody situation. At one point, she had to borrow $10,000 against a paid-off car just to fund her initial attorney retainer. Today, Hannah uses that lived experience in her work with women going through divorce. We talk about one of the biggest mistakes she sees women make: using hope as their strategy instead of getting prepared. We discuss why understanding your finances, gathering documents, learning about the divorce process, and building the right support team can help you approach divorce differently. But this conversation goes far beyond how to prepare for divorce. Hannah also shares the message behind her TEDx talk and challenges us to look at whether we're actually enjoying our lives—or simply getting through them. We talk about want, worth and willingness: acknowledging what you really want, believing you're worthy of it, and developing the courage to take action even when you're afraid of being overwhelmed. Whether you're considering divorce, already navigating one, rebuilding afterward, or simply wondering if you've become too comfortable playing it safe, this conversation will encourage you to take one thoughtful step toward a life that feels more intentional. Because how to prepare for divorce isn't only about paperwork. It's about information, support, confidence—and learning to trust yourself again. Timestamps (00:00) Meet divorce survivor turned family law attorney Hannah Hembry Bell (03:00) Marrying young and becoming a mother to three children (07:00) Law school, motherhood and beginning to question her marriage (11:00) The moment Hannah realized something wasn't right (15:00) Entering divorce completely unprepared (19:00) The financial reality of a contested divorce (23:00) Making the heartbreaking decision to move without her children (28:00) Divorce, law school and graduating valedictorian (33:00) Returning to court for a custody modification (38:00) How Hannah's own divorce changed the lawyer she wanted to become (42:00) Why women need to prepare for divorce differently (46:00) The mistake of using hope as your divorce strategy (49:00) Creating My Confident Divorce and a different model of legal support (54:00) Why divorce involves more than legal paperwork (58:00) Hannah's TEDx message and the “medium suck life” (1:02:00) Want, worth and willingness (1:06:00) Lesa opens up about her fear of becoming overwhelmed (1:10:00) How to build your courage muscle (1:15:00) Why Hannah started saying yes to more experiences (1:19:00) Letting go of certainty and making room for surprise and joy (1:23:00) The question to ask yourself this week Key Takeaways Hope is not a divorce strategy. If divorce may be happening, gathering information and preparing yourself can help you make better decisions. You don't have to know everything to become more confident. Confidence grows when you understand your options and know which questions to ask. Divorce is more than a legal process. Emotional support, mindset, finances, parenting and community can all be important pieces. Want, worth and willingness matter. Give yourself permission to acknowledge what you want, believe you're worthy of a meaningful life, and consider what you're willing to do to create it. Build your courage muscle. Sometimes growth happens by doing one uncomfortable thing and discovering you're okay on the other side. Guest Bio Hannah Hembry Bell is a family law attorney, entrepreneur and divorce survivor whose personal experience navigating divorce and a difficult custody battle helped shape the way she practices law today. After attending law school while raising three young children and going through her own divorce, Hannah graduated valedictorian and began her career in a large law firm. She later left Big Law to create the kind of family law practice and support she wished she'd had during her own divorce. She is also the creator of My Confident Divorce, a model designed to combine legal representation with education, mindset support and community for women navigating divorce. Resource Links OsteoStrong Minnesota — Lesa's affiliate link: https://osteostrongmn.com/affiliate-referral-koski/ Soberlink — Lesa's affiliate link: https://www.soberlink.com/divorce/family-law?utm_source=affiliatelink&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=lesa-koski-affiliatelink Affiliate disclosure: Some resource links may be affiliate links, which means I may receive a commission if you purchase through them, at no additional cost to you. Tags/Keywords how to prepare for divorce, divorce preparation, divorce confidence, women and divorce, divorce advice for women, divorce mistakes, preparing financially for divorce, divorce finances, divorce custody, child custody, family law attorney, divorce lawyer, divorce support for women, divorce mindset, divorce recovery, divorce planning, divorce education, women over 40 divorce, My Confident Divorce, Hannah Hembry Bell, Doing Divorce Different, Lesa Koski

3. 

   15 Sept 2026

   Healing From Divorce Trauma: How to Find Closure When You Never Get the “Why” | Dana Killion

   Episode Description: Healing from divorce trauma, betrayal, addiction, and grief starts with understanding what you can control—and releasing what you can’t. In this deeply personal episode of Doing Divorce Different, Lesa Koski sits down with author Dana Killion to explore healing from divorce trauma and what it really takes to move from surviving something painful to becoming emotionally whole. Dana shares her experience of discovering her husband's secret life while he was in treatment for alcoholism, the difficult decision to eventually end their marriage, the deaths of both parents, and the devastating loss of her oldest son. Together, Lesa and Dana explore why getting an answer to “why?” can be so important after betrayal—and what to do when the person who hurt you cannot give you that answer. Dana introduces her “story of why” process: using the facts you know to create enough understanding to stop cycling through resentment and begin finding closure. They also discuss healing from divorce trauma when addiction is involved, why loving someone doesn't mean you can save them, how boundaries can coexist with love, and how to recognize when unresolved anger may be a sign that your healing isn't finished. Most importantly, this episode offers hope for anyone who feels overwhelmed by what comes next. You don't have to solve your entire future today. One small step can become another—and those baby steps can eventually become a ladder. If you're navigating divorce, betrayal, addiction, grief, or another major life transition, this conversation about healing from divorce trauma will remind you that what happened to you does not have to determine what happens next. Timestamps: (00:00) Introduction to Dana Killion and Becoming Unbreakable (02:00) Dana's story of addiction, betrayal, divorce, and profound loss (05:30) Why trauma makes us question our history and identity (08:00) What to do when you never get the “why” (10:00) Creating your own “story of why” to find closure (13:00) The three versions of your trauma story (16:00) Loving someone struggling with addiction (20:00) The question: “What if this is as good as it gets?” (24:00) Why you cannot save another person (28:00) How to know whether you're actually healed (32:00) Turning a wound into a scar (36:00) Trauma, forgiveness, and releasing resentment (40:00) Why both people have emotional work to do (43:00) What to do when trauma knocks you off your feet (47:00) Baby steps: rebuilding confidence one action at a time (50:00) How small steps become a ladder forward Key Takeaways: Closure doesn't always have to come from the person who hurt you. Dana's “story of why” can help you create understanding from the facts you already know. Loving someone with an addiction does not give you the power to do their recovery work for them. Lingering bitterness and resentment may be signs that a traumatic experience still needs healing. You control how much of your story you share—and with whom. When divorce or trauma feels overwhelming, don't solve your entire future. Take one small, constructive step and build from there. Guest Bio: Dana Killion is an author, speaker, and trauma-informed guide whose work focuses on resilience, healing, and moving beyond survival. Her newest book, Becoming Unbreakable: A Big Sister’s Guide to Trauma, draws on her lived experience with an addictive marriage, divorce, the loss of both parents, relocation, and the death of her oldest son. Dana uses her story and hard-earned insights to help others understand trauma and move toward emotional wholeness. Resource Links: https://www.danakillion.com/?utm_source=chatgpt.com (https://www.danakillion.com/?utm_source=chatgpt.com) https://amplifypublishinggroup.com/product/nonfiction/health-medicine-and-wellness/mental-health/becoming-unbreakable/?utm_source=chatgpt.com (https://amplifypublishinggroup.com/product/nonfiction/health-medicine-and-wellness/mental-health/becoming-unbreakable/?utm_source=chatgpt.com) OsteoStrong Minnesota — https://osteostrongmn.com/affiliate-referral-koski/ Soberlink for Family Law — https://www.soberlink.com/divorce/family-law?utm_source=affiliatelink&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=lesa-koski-affiliatelink Affiliate disclosure: Some links above are affiliate links, which means I may receive a commission if you purchase through them, at no additional cost to you. Tags/Keywords: healing from divorce trauma, divorce trauma, divorce recovery, healing after divorce, betrayal trauma, divorce and addiction, alcoholic spouse, addiction and marriage, divorce after infidelity, trauma recovery, finding closure after divorce, emotional healing after divorce, divorce support for women, women over 40 divorce, divorce mediation, divorce coach, co-parenting, rebuilding after divorce, grief after divorce, forgiveness after betrayal, boundaries in marriage, Dana Killion, Becoming Unbreakable, Doing Divorce Different, Lesa Koski

Who has been a guest on Doing Divorce Different A Podcast Guide to Doing Divorce Differently

Names identified in recent episode analyses. Showing up to five guests.

• John Nachlinger
• Melissa Miroslavich
• Kristina Ganow
• Morgan Mazor
• Lauren Crane

Reach and audience

Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.

YouTube views

57,354

Score snapshot 15 Sept 2025

Apple Podcasts (US)

5.0 / 5

6 ratings

Spotify

5.0 / 5

1 ratings

Podcast Authority Score: 79 / 100

A composite of feed quality, social presence, YouTube performance and engagement. Read the methodology.

Quality

98

Social presence

0

YouTube

76

Engagement

76

Contact Doing Divorce Different A Podcast Guide to Doing Divorce Differently

Guest appearances

Books guests

Based on episode analysis; this does not confirm that the show is currently accepting guests.

Questions about Doing Divorce Different A Podcast Guide to Doing Divorce Differently