Donor Conception and Surrogacy

About Donor Conception and Surrogacy

In this series of archive episodes of The Fertility Podcast find out about alternative routes to parenthood including donor conception, fertility preservation, surrogacy, adoption and co-parenting.

Category

education · health & fitness · society & culture

Language

en

Explicit

No

First episode

13 Jan 2022

Latest episode

9 Mar 2022

Latest episodes

18 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   9 Mar 2022

   Surrogacy Abroad and in the UK

   This week we are discussing Surrogacy, both in the UK and abroad. Our first guest is Anna Buxton, mum of three children through two different surrogates. Anna talks us through her decision of how they reached surrogacy after a long and painful gynaecological history and was told Surrogacy was her only hope as she would never carry. Not carrying your child and grieving for that loss Anna voices the fear of so many people considering surrogacy, They were able to create embryos yet still it was v.difficult. Feels like you are giving up on the hope of ever carrying a child, your husband seeing you pregnant, you feel lost. Ripple effect… you think you are going to get pregnant, then you realise it's not going to happen as you thought. She couldn’t find anyone to talk to about surrogacy. Started in the UK - charities and agencies but all had really long waiting lists and they’d already spent 5 years trying to get pregnant, and couldn’t deal with another wait of 3 years. She found a few couples to talk to but didn’t have access to the Insta community that exists today. Anna talks about how she now realises that Surrogacy was the light at the end of the tunnel for them and how incredible the women are who do it. She describes how Surrogacy is so complex of the process was something she buried herself in which helped her almost deal with the grief of not being able to carry. Surrogacy in India India had the longest reputation of surrogacy but had been shrouded in bad press and was halted for a while. They visited 10 clinics and found a Dr and clinic they loved who were running a lovely programme all centred around the wellness of the surrogate. They started the IVF process in the UK and then had egg collection and embryos fertilised in India and then were found a surrogate. She still had nobody to talk to about this. Complications of Surrogacy Abroad The first step is to find a lawyer who is really experienced. The pregnancy was difficult - people weren’t talking about it, so Anna didn’t tell hardly anyone until about 24 weeks. It felt hard to believe She worried that people thought she was undeserved of being pregnant because she wasn’t carrying the bump. Anna describes skulking around John lewis looking at prams, terrified someone would ask her why she was there and she was asked who she was buying the pram for and she said she mumbled ‘it’s complicated’ and walked off as she wasn’t ready to tell a stranger. Anna explained how you never know if someone is going to say ‘congrats’ or if they will ask complicated questions. She walked away and ordered everything online. Telling Work Anna explained how they talked to close friends who were really supportive but she was worried about work as she was the first person who had done it, was concerned about her position. She told them at 24 weeks, however, they had no policy for anyone doing surrogacy. How they talk to their children They’ve talked about how children are bought into the world. They have pictures and memorabilia of India all around. They talk about how Mummy’s tummy is broken and another mummy helped to grow her. They celebrated Divali, making sure to normalise her culture and how she was bought into the world. Isla - 5 Always say thank you to Sheparla her surrogate and India. They don’t have a relationship with her as she didn’t want to and also doesn’t speak English. Anna writes a letter every year to her clinic with a picture of Isla both to Sherparla and her children. It’s different with the twins as they are in touch with Holly, her surrogate in San Diago, and has pictures of her in their nursery. They are still in contact with her. Surrogacy is an everyday conversation. Feeling conspicuous by not carrying her...

2. 

   7 Mar 2022

   My donor cycle has been cancelled. Now what?

   Here's a bonus mid-week episode continuing the focus that other fellow poddies have been giving to your stories about cancelled treatment as well as the brilliant open letter @definingmum (https://www.instagram.com/definingmum/) shared on her insta. We chatted with the lovely Jen @ivfpineapple (https://www.instagram.com/ivfpineapple/) who had her donor treatment cancelled and we know that there is a lot of anxiety and unease about when treatment will resume, whether some treatments might be prioritised and this is certainly something Jen is worried about. Trying to conceive Jen and her hubby had been trying for over three years and were still told they'd have to wait a year before being referred for fertility treatment as Jen had been pregnant naturally but sadly miscarried. Jen then fell pregnant with IUI but had a missed miscarriage before moving on to IVF. By their second appointment, Jen was told she had a very low AMH and was told they needed to have IVF. Feeling let down Jen felt let down that nothing was checked earlier, her AMH wasn't checked earlier, when she miscarried instead they went through three IVF cycles - none of which worked but only ever got to one egg to transfer on day 3 but they never worked. She was 32 and being told she had good egg quality. We had conversations with private clinics who wanted her to carry on with her own eggs despite Jen already thinking about using a donor. Using a donor Jen talks about how they were on a waiting list for an anonymous egg donor which she was really not sure about. Then Jen met someone on facebook who her and her hubby have now met and become good friends with. Jen talks about the importance of support through all of this, having time to process and think about it, the importance of advocating for the things you believe in and making the right choices at the start so you don't feel let down at the end. They had started their cycle with their donor who had gone for her scan and was due to start her stims in the morning.. this was happening as we were all going into lockdown. By the afternoon Jen was told that her clinic were following HFEA guidance to stop donor cycles. Jen talked about how gutted her donor was and how she wanted to give them a baby by Christmas, about how this has impacted on their whole family as well. Coping with the impact of COVID-19 Just having to take it a day at a time, she works for the NHS and is throwing herself into it, avoiding 'fertility thoughts' and also finding it tricky not being able to spend time with friends and family. She is trying not to focus on the impact coronavirus is having on their donor cycle. Be mindful of the online community if it might be a trigger. SOCIAL MEDIA: The Fertility Podcast (https://www.thefertilitypodcast.com/) Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/fertilitypoddy/) Kate (https://www.instagram.com/your_fertility_journey/) Jen (https://www.instagram.com/ivfpineapple/) Please note if you want to get in touch please email info@thefertilitypodcast.com (mailto:info@thefertilitypodcast.com) (not fertilitypoddy as I said in this episode)

3. 

   2 Mar 2022

   What support can I get when thinking about donor conception or surrogacy?

   Meet Francesca Steyn, Head of Nursing at the CRGH - Centre for Reproductive and Genetic Health in London. Francesca is involved with the Sperm, Egg and Embryo Donation (SEED) Trust and she spoke to Kate and I about the ‘minefield’ that is surrogacy and how patients considering this option can get the information, guidance and support they need. When we interviewed Francesca she has just been nominated for Surrogacy Professional of the Year 2019 – an accolade she won in 2018, and we are delighted to announce that Francesca has been awarded this again for 2019! Congratulations Francesca! Francesca leads the nursing team at the CRGH but also leads on Clinical Governance and Quality as well as managing the Surrogacy Programme. Francesca has worked in the field of surrogacy for a number of years and has seen huge growth in surrogacy in the UK. Clinics are a lot more aware of surrogacy services then previously. For people considering surrogacy, Francesca recommends finding a clinic that has experience in surrogacy. The HFEA website provides more information on this and the important things to look out for are - if the clinic has a dedicated surrogacy team, how long have they offered surrogacy, do they provide open days etc. Legal considerations can be complex but the CRGH have very detailed protocols to follow to make sure that all steps are followed. The SEED Trust provides unbiased and independent support and guidance for anyone considering surrogacy. The website has information and resources for intended parents and donors. Making the decision to seek surrogacy at home or abroad. Francesca has seen a change in that patients are considering surrogacy in the UK rather than seeking help abroad, mainly because of greater availability in the UK and more support and resources. LGBTQ community has increased since law changes in 2010. There is a huge amount of support for surrogacy among the LBGTQ community from various organisations and networks. More work needs to be done to normalise and raise awareness of surrogacy among the Heterosexual community. Main challenges to overcome when making Modern Families – the need for more awareness and greater funding. Individuals currently need to fund their own treatment and this is a barrier to many people creating their family. Francesca is involved in Fertility Preservation training with the Royal College of Nursing and BICA. In the UK we have a shortage of donors and Francesca urges people who may be considering this to come forward to find out about what’s involved in donating. SOCIAL MEDIA Francesca Steyn (https://twitter.com/fransteyn?lang=en) CRGH (https://crgh.co.uk) SEED Trust (https://seedtrust.org.uk) @fertilitypoddy (https://instagram.com/fertilitypoddy) Kate Davies (https://instagram.com/your_fertility_journey)

4. 

   18 Feb 2022

   Why I donated my eggs

   Want to know more about donating your eggs? Altrui was set up in 2010 to meet the overwhelming need in the UK for egg donors. Its founder Alison Bagshaw who I spoke to in a previous episode here (https://www.thefertilitypodcast.com/egg/) felt UK couples needed more practical help when it came to finding an egg donor and that women who wanted to donate their eggs needed to be properly looked after, well informed, and appreciated for what they were doing I met Alison up with Alison at The Fertility Show in London in November where we spoke about how best to capture these remarkable women. Alison was planning the Altrui Christmas party which you will hear some of the ladies I spoke to mention which was a chance for them all to get together. Alison and I wanted to capture what it is to donate your eggs, from the women who walk through Altrui's doors and so I spoke with three ladies, Faye, Debbie, and Jade about their decision to donate and how the experience was for them. Faye is a policewoman with most of my friends were in their 30’s, and she had a friend dealing with infertility. Faye was already a blood donor, felt she could do something to help other people. She was 24 when she found Altrui and had an initial chat with Alison. Faye explained how Altrui asked her about her motivation for donating and explained how other donors have felt going through the process. My main concerns were would it affect my fertility which I was assured it wouldn't. Faye talked about how it did her the world of good as she had to take really good care of herself to be ready for when it was going to happen. She describes how after the procedure, she didn’t feel any discomfort, I didn't’ feel any different, that she just felt the excitement as to whether it had been successful, it felt so lovely to be a part of someone else’s dream. She said "I came away afterward feeling so proud of myself" Faye also explained how "I don’t view it as my own child, this is a gift I’ve given to someone else so that they can have a family" Faye is yet to have her own children. Debbie already has two children, loves to travel, and was only nervous when she was trying to complete her profile as she thought nobody would like me. It took about a month when Alison called Debbie to say they had a match and Debbie was delighted to hear that the recipient was an older woman, who also was a keen traveler as she felt they potentially had a lot in common. One question she had was whether the child could have any hold on her estate. Altrui explained that as soon as the eggs leave your body, they belong to the recipient. Jade is a mum to three children and was keen to donate, she felt the clinics were just putting my eggs in a freezer and then they were dished out when someone needed them. However, she explained how with Alrui it felt like there was someone on the other end waiting that she was donating to, a more special and rewarding experience. All of the donors talked about how Altrui were with them every step of the way supporting them and answering any questions and that it was a hugely positive and rewarding experience. You can follow Altrui on Twitter here (https://twitter.com/AltruiFertility) Did you know... one in six women in the UK face fertility issues? We specialise in finding, matching and looking after altruistic egg donors with one-to-one, anonymous donation. For more information, please visit our website 💗 pic.twitter.com/qq5UzDwny9 (https://t.co/qq5UzDwny9) — Altrui Egg Donation (@AltruiFertility) <a href="https://twitter.com/AltruiFertility/status/1100796292069052417?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw"...

5. 

   18 Feb 2022

   Is it OK to meet your sperm donor?

   Would you fly around the world to meet your sperm donor? Adam Hooper contacted me via Facebook after I shared an episode about Unregulated Sperm donation websites in the UK, with Dr Larissa Corda. You can listen to this episode here (https://www.thefertilitypodcast.com/bewell/) Adam wanted to talk on the podcast and give his perspective rather than as he put it ' talking non-fictional garbage of what-ifs, dragons and doomsday scenarios. He emailed me further to explain he has two children with his wife. He has heard about a couple of people looking for a sperm donor and although he didn't help them at the time, it planted a seed in his head which eventually led to looking into helping a couple of families out there... Adam went on to tell me that everyone in his family lives to 90 plus with very few health problems along the way so he felt very comfortable in offering 'a gift' to other people out in the community. In 2015 Adam created the Sperm Donation Australia group (https://www.spermdonorsaustralia.com.au/), where every man is screened, educated, before being accepted into the group, many are rejected and don't make the cut. He is now writing a book. You can hear from Adam all about his motivation for doing what he does and he was joined by Johanna who had travelled from Sweden to use Adam's sperm. When we spoke it was during her two-week wait and I've since heard from Johanna that the process didn't work and she is now paying for Adam to come to Europe as she wants to work with him again and she is also going to freeze some of his sperm. I also include a comment from Dr Kevin Mcleny who is a male fertility doctor at Newcastle Urology and I wanted to share his full comment here 'Whilst Adam has good intentions I am concerned that both donors and especially recipients are exposing themselves to physical, psychological, legal and financial risk. In licenced centres, the guiding principle is the Welfare of the child and this is not being appropriately considered in an informal donation. Adam mentions that he knows that the children will go to a great home. This is difficult to know after a few emails and a chat in a coffee shop. It is possible that people for whom parenthood in this way would be a very bad idea could become mothers, without any medical or psychosocial consideration. Conversely, he implies that women who he doesn't think would provide good homes, wouldn't be treated. How does he know this? If it's based on his own experience rather than independent assessment I would say that this is unfair and flawed. He mentions that the donor can be part of the child's life. This should not be a motivation for donation. How does he know that this arrangement will not cause future harm to the recipient and child, as well as to the donor's own family? Why should the child meet the donor at an early stage? (I'm not saying this is wrong, but it would need careful consideration and counselling). He mentions that the donor can be part of the child's life, suggesting a co-parenting arrangement, which is something quite different and shouldn't be mixed up with an altruistic donation. Medical histories and STI screens are meaningless unless they can be independently verified by a 3rd party, eg GP in combination with Fertility Centre and the same applies to genetics testing. Who interprets the significance of a genetic issue found on 23 and me, or a family history detail, as everyone has something? How does he mitigate fraud? Well-meaning blogs &amp; personal statements will not protect people from legal action and this will happen eventually." Kevin was a former guest of

6. 

   18 Feb 2022

   Defining Motherhood

   Our routes to motherhood can be extremely varied, all with complex emotions involved. Meet Mel Johnson, Solo Mum and founder of The Stork and I which you can hear all about here in our previous episode (https://www.thefertilitypodcast.com/thestorkandi/)In this chat, Mel and I caught up on the reality of being solo motherhood - the journey and the rollercoaster Mel talked about loneliness and how she struggled initially with the lack of adult company whilst she was on maternity, having Daisy for the full day, learning to be a Mum and then going into the evening routine, that period where you’ve done the whole day, you’ve got them to sleep and you’re like yes..and you’ve got to sort everything… and then you can get on to you and then there’s silence.. there’s nobody to chat to, to help you tidy up and if that goes on night after night it becomes very lonely and that’s not to mention you don't have a social life. As Mel was going back to work, she found after a day at work and then the evening routine she felt very lonely, so she worked out how to make it better. Being extremely organized. Mel now books her diary so far in advance, have things planned to do… social things, work things, anything she wants to do book it in, and figure out where it fits Mel spoke about how your mindset changes and how she has to organize things. She also realized she was deselecting herself from things because she thought she'd be putting people out or tagging along with Daisy, but realized she couldn’t be further from the truth Turning Point as a Solo Mum Mel also talked about the 'turning point' when she felt more like myself… how 2018 the year of the tracksuit, something we can all relate to and we spoke about the impact of getting up and getting dressed making a massive impact on your mental health We also spoke about productivity - it’s very much about what works well at what time. The period of time when Daisy is at nursery, the period of time when we’re together and period of time when she’s asleep, Mel explained how she plans it all. Mel talked about how the transition back to work was positive as she was honest with them about what she wanted - and her advice is to ask for everything they can only say no. Do you have a partner? She also explained how day to day, everyone presumes you have a partner because you have a child. People look shocked when they see Daisy and she’s quite young and Mel explained what she tell's them that she has chosen to have her on her own. Some people she tells more to "Because I’m 40 and I thought if I didn’t I might miss out on the chance of motherhood" Mel says: "I always advise people to get a soundbite they are comfortable with. I’ve had an absolutely positive experience, but so many people come from the presumption that you have a partner. I don’t want anyone to think I am stuck in this circumstance it's my preference that people know I choose to go into this" Mel works with a lot of other women helping them to frame how best to tell their stories. We also spoke about 'Guide parents' Mel explained how "someone asked me the question ‘have you got someone you are substituting that partner role with and I said there’s not one person, there’s many. I’m not into swimming, so I’d asked my male friends who love to swim if he’d take her and he was so keen" To find out more about Mel follow her on Insta (https://www.instagram.com/the_stork_and_i/)and find out more about Mel's community and her coaching here (http://www.thestorkandi.com/)

7. 

   17 Feb 2022

   What legal advice do I need when using a donor, a surrogate or adopting?

   What you need to know about family law... Meet Lois My guest Lois Langton is Head of Family Law at Howard Kennedy (https://www.howardkennedy.com)and she specializes in all aspects of Family Law including divorce, financial remedy, civil partnerships, pre-/post-nuptial agreements, cohabitation, separation, and child-related work (including adoption and surrogacy). Paperwork In this episode Lois and I discuss the different scenarios that you could be considering for your family, including co-parenting, using a donor, a surrogate, or adopting, and what you need to think about. Lois talks about why it's worth looking to work with a surrogate who is single so that the biological sperm donor will then be the second legal parent. When relying on trust - you need the biological and legal connection Going Abroad for Surrogacy If you go abroad for surrogacy to a country where jurisdiction is different there is a lot of issues to consider as there are no international laws on surrogacy. Some permit commercial surrogacy, however, there are other countries where it is completely outlawed, England doesn’t permit commercial surrogacy but is altruistic and that means you can go from one country to the next without any uniformity of what the process is can create problems. There could be issues with bringing your baby home. Because Surrogacy is altruistic in the UK, it means there is no obligation if the surrogate has changed her mind. The surrogate is the legal birth mother and without the consent, there can be no parental order when commissioning parents to go abroad and money will be paid, it's worth realizing that the agreements made are at odds with English law, then part of the process you have to get retrospective sanctions from the English court. Writing Intentions We also talked about the importance of 'Writing Intentions' which can be very different from the parties involved. For example in a same-sex couple, the biological mother may view the biological father as no more than a sperm donor and he may view himself as having an active role in the child's life and nobody seems to iron these issues out early on. This can cause years of conflict. This is where a 'Conception Agreement' is needed. Download this helpful chat from Howard Kennedy Fertility Flowcharts (1) and if you can't access it please drop me a line (https://www.thefertilitypodcast.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/Fertility-Flowcharts-1.pptx) To find out more you can follow Howard Kennedy on Twitter (https://twitter.com/HowardKennedy) I also spoke with Katy from Chorlton Health Hub (https://www.chorltonhealthhub.co.uk/)about my pelvic floor and the app we spoke about is called Squeezy (https://www.nhs.uk/apps-library/squeezy/)

8. 

   17 Feb 2022

   How two men became Dads, through UK Surrogacy and Donor Conception

   Michael and Wes run TwoDads.U.K documenting their journey to become Dads and working hard to raise awareness of surrogacy in the UK. Michael speaks at National Fertility events about their journey to become Dads, and the treatment of Intended Parents in the NHS - which still has a long way to go from an equality perspective as well as documenting their journey for the likes of Surrogacy UK, The Fertility Road Magazine and the tremendous website Gays With Kids, who also happen to be following their next Surrogacy journey which the pair share with regular blog posts via their website twodaddies.co.uk (https://www.twodaddies.co.uk/blog) Michael and Wes have a clear mission, to educating everyone about Surrogacy and the journey same-sex intended parents (IP’s) have to endure and by doing this they hope to normalise that gays have kids too Michael also runs Same-Sex Parents facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/SSPCGUK/?ref=br_rs) with a friend Steven Darby. Steven and his partner Connor have a little boy named George the same age as Talulah. The page was launched early in 2018 and is designed to bring other same-sex families together as we also hold regular meetups nationally. There is also a facebook chat (https://www.facebook.com/groups/426369251128752/?source_id=583189338728137) group In 2018, the work they do for Two Dads UK was recognised as the part were called upon to speak at an All Party Parliamentary group to give their lived experience as two parents through UK surrogacy. They met a number of Intended Parents, Healthcare professionals, Singles and representatives of International and UK surrogacy. The discussions were about the glaringly obvious issues with the current surrogacy law regarding the parental order. Where the law is slightly out of kilter is that the surrogate and her husband are the legal guardians of your child. What the pair would like to see is similar to how it is in the United States, where paperwork submitted at the point of conception and granted at birth - currently, you have to wait for six weeks and one day for it to go into court ADDITIONAL POINTS TO CONSIDER: Make sure everyone is on the same page We took legal advice and we drafted an intention doc with our surrogate Seek advice from an organisation such as Surrogacy UK Adopted the friendship first mentality of Surrogacy UK - 11 months of friendship before we started Speak to Hospital trust about the birth plan - we wanted to walk out with our child with the balloons into the carpark like anyone else does but it became very apparent we weren’t gonna get what we wanted We would have to hand over in the carpark off hospital premises Our presence on the maternity ward wasn’t what we expected, we weren’t going to be allowed to see our child being born We got legal advice and our team did threaten with the intention to sue as there were multiple points where they were discriminating against us SOCIAL MEDIA: Fertility Poddy https://www.instagram.com/fertilitypoddy/ (https://www.instagram.com/fertilitypoddy/) Kate https://www.instagram.com/your_fertility_journey/ (https://www.instagram.com/your_fertility_journey/)

9. 

   17 Feb 2022

   How do I find an international egg donor?

   My Guest Robin Newman talked about dealing with Unexplained infertility and how it changed her life. Robin shared with me how she spent seventeen years trying to get pregnant and was diagnosed with unexplained infertility, which is so hard to deal with. She spent every penny and was told she had 'Idiopathic infertility' this meant everything perfect in every test but Robin never got pregnant. Every single month Robin went through heartache and it sadly ended her marriage, she was aged 43. Robin lost her home in the divorce, her job ended, and she left the country. Eight months later - she went to South Africa and their medical society was so phenomenal and she came onto the idea of egg donation. Robin was responsible for the first egg donation programme About Global Egg Donors It is an egg donation program specializing in the coordination of Egg Donors, Intended Parents and Clinics spread throughout the world. They assist you in finding and reserving a healthy, young, intelligent donor of any ethnicity. The Intended Parents they have helped since 2001, are located in over 50 countries and have gone to clinics we recommend in at least 9 countries. There they have found exceptionally high success with our egg donors who have also travelled from many countries, to help them build a family. The Global Egg Donors Team, a band of strong women Dedicated, Determined and efficient, the Global Egg Donors team are a small group of women, all experts in the field of international egg donation. They are also your counsellors, confidants, friends, co-workers, guides throughout the planning, procedure and for years after. Each person is driven by passion and guided by mutual values and integrity. Together the team balance each other’s strengths providing support in all areas for both Egg Donors and Intended Parents. To find out more visit the website (https://www.globaleggdonors.com) In this episode I referred to a previous episode I shared about my frozen embryos which you can hear I (https://www.thefertilitypodcast.com/ep-167-a-few-words-from-my-heart/)f you are having implications counselling or would like to reach out about what to do with your frozen embryos, please email me at natalie@thefertilitypodcast.com (mailto:natalie@thefertilitypodcast.com)

10. 

    17 Feb 2022

    Can clinics get the paper work wrong ?

    My guest Jo and her partner Jane decided they were going to start trying for a baby. Jo was 38 and the pair went to an open evening at a clinic to find out more. Jo was invited to have an AMH blood test and to her 'horror' was told she had low fertility. They decided to go to Manchester Fertility (https://www.manchesterfertility.com/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIyuD58eTE4AIVD5ztCh3MaQv6EAAYASAAEgJoUPD_BwE) for their treatment. They started off choosing a sperm donor and Jo explained how they wanted someone to reflect both of their characteristics and it was important that the child didn’t look too far from what she looked like - Jo is dark and Jane is blond - yet they both tan well! So they started having for IUI (Intrauterine insemination) this didn't work and they ended up having six attempts at IUI. Jo talked about the constant cycle of despair and how she didn’t realize what an impact it had. "I was so distracted during the two-week wait and then 'it' comes." I asked about whether Jo sought out any support and she explained how she went on forums and how 'It wasn’t good for my mental health' and she found them even more isolating. It's always difficult when you tell your family you are trying and they want you to have success. Jo talked about feeling a bit of pressure from her parents as she was giving them their first and only grandchild. The pair decided to go and visit their GP and when she explored the options for same-sex couples, it showed that if you have self-funded six attempts at IUI you were eligible for two rounds of IVF on the NHS. Starting IVF: These six attempts are based on the number of times a couple would have tried naturally over the course of 12 months. Jo and Jane changed clinics from Manchester Fertility to Manchester Care, (https://www.carefertility.com/our-clinics/fertility-clinic-manchester/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIvuf0wOXE4AIV7ZXtCh1KnggFEAAYASAAEgJF3fD_BwE) feeling more comfortable with the care offered and Jo went straight into the IVF treatment "Not many eggs and only one survived" Jo explained "The clinic called me and said we’ve only got one egg but it’s a good one I was in the car and I stopped and cried and the nurse said to me, it only takes one" Post-transfer, the couple went to Cornwall for a week - something that I also did, went to the Suffolk coast and I highly commend being near water post-transfer. Something instantly calming and of course a good distraction. Jo talked about the agony of week two, the worst part of the dreaded two-week wait and when they did a test it was a very faint line and they didn't think it has worked but it had. Jo and I spoke about her pregnancy which I appreciate could be a trigger for you which is why I had mentioned it in the podcast, however, I wanted to hear her experience of her midwife appointments, which she said was pretty disappointing as it was assumed Jane, her partner was her 'friend' or Mum - Jo talked about having to spell it out and come out constantly. She said she ended up bursting in and saying 'This is my partner Jane' to make it less awkward. What went wrong: Jo and Jane had a serious paperwork issue as she explained. 'We’re not in a civil partnership so you have to fill out forms that I was the one carrying the child consent to Jane being recognized as the legal parent and Jane filled in the same saying she recognized herself as a parent which we did it at both clinics' They were on holiday when they were called by their consultant to be told there was an issue with paperwork. Little did they know this would result in the pair having to go to the High Court where Sir James Munby resided over their case. Jo and Jane were told...

11. 

    16 Feb 2022

    Do you need to tell your child they are donor conceived?

    Jana M. Rupnow, MA, LPC, is a licensed professional counsellor and consultant specializing in fertility and family building. Jana has helped hundreds of people facing the challenges of infertility as well as those preparing for third-party family building and adoption. Jana works independently in private practice in Dallas, Texas. She has built relationships with fertility doctors across the country to help their patients with the psychological challenges of donation conception prior to medical intervention. She works with couples, parents, donors, agencies, and endocrinologists across the nation in her Dallas offices and via video platform or phone. Jana also helps parents learn to communicate with their children about donor conception and serves as a liaison for communication between donor-conceived or adoptive families and genetic or birth parents. She is a speaker and a member of the American Society of Reproductive Medicine’s Mental Health Group and a professional member of the National Infertility Association, Resolve. Jana has a clinical background in physiology and has published articles through Baylor University Medical Center. Jana is also an adoptee and adoptive mom. She and her husband, Scott, live in Dallas with their son, Caden, and daughter, Jade, and two Goldendoodles, Oliver and Chloe. For a consultation, counseling, training for professionals, or a speaking engagement, email Jana@JanaRupnow.com (mailto:Jana@JanaRupnow.com) or learn more on JanaRupnow.com. Follow Jana Rupnow on , Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/jana.rupnow), and Twitter (https://twitter.com/JanaRupnowLPC) @janarupnowlpc

12. 

    11 Feb 2022

    Can I go to America to find an egg donor?

    Have you been told you need to consider an egg donor in order to get pregnant? I met Sarah Esdaile at Fertility Fest 2018 when she took part in the Fertility Fight club sharing her story and this is the video we shared via Facebook live (https://www.facebook.com/thefertilitypodcast/videos/2052335051705668/)for you to check out. You can hear Sarah at approx 36 minutes. Talking about egg donation Sarah and I met in at Sarah's hotel in Manchester (where I live and she had visited for work ) and found quite a lot of comedy in the decor which you will hear us chatting about and Sarah shared her fertility journey, from having failed fertility treatment to being told that she would have to use a donor. Sarah's first attempt was with her sister's egg and she describes the complexities of this decision and then the impact when it didn't work. Sarah also spoke really honestly and frankly about how she had counseling from the first IVF appointment and how integral it was to her being able to deal with the emotional turmoil of what she was going through. Shady Grove Fertility Sarah had her treatment with Shady Grove Fertility (https://www.shadygrovefertility.co.uk/) and now works as a patient liaison, speaking to hundreds of women going through exactly what she did and helping them along the way. I think it's fair to say that when you are trying to navigate your way through something like egg donation or sperm donation you really need to have access to people who really understand what it feels like which is why I was so keen for Sarah to share her story. To follow Sarah on Twitter click here (https://twitter.com/SARAHESDAILE)

13. 

    9 Feb 2022

    What do I need to consider when considering using a donor to start my family?

    Donor Concierge finds egg donors and surrogates and helps people with all that comes with it. I wanted to hear from Gail Sexton Anderson about how the 12-year organization works and it's pretty special the lengths they go to to find a match. Gail talked to me about how when she first started working with Intended Parents (IP's) she could see how it was such a big leap to go from being able to have a biological child to working with a donor that they needed a good support network along the journey and she created her organization to provide just that. She describes how she wanted people to feel comfortable moving forward, especially if they were from a particular ethnic group and wanted a specific match. There was no reason or them to feel marginalized as to what was available Gail is passionate about educating people, saying how 'people don’t know what they don’t know' IP's will go into it with certain assumptions and there are so many hills and valleys and pitfalls that people run into, we can help navigate those pitfalls" Donor Concierge has a toolbox of how to deal with it. Gail explains how they advise IP's to not get their heart set on one person. She explains how there’s always going to compromise… Her staff is trained to talk through the process. Obviously, as Gail explains 'We can’t make the decision for them but we can help them to answer some of the questions or find out more information to help make a decision It's important to know that donor databases don’t change dramatically there will always be new candidates and it takes the Donor Concierge about 2 weeks to go through over 80 agencies and share the possibilities with IPs. To follow Donor Concierge on Twitter follow them here (https://twitter.com/donorconcierge) The Agency of All Agencies - Gail Sexton-Anderson by I Want To Put A Baby In You via #soundcloud (https://twitter.com/hashtag/soundcloud?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw) https://t.co/MvFx2DsuWz (https://t.co/MvFx2DsuWz) — Donor Concierge (@DonorConcierge) February 28, 2018 (https://twitter.com/DonorConcierge/status/968913428046741504?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw)

14. 

    9 Feb 2022

    How can I have a baby if I can’t do it naturally?

    Pride Angel is a membership site helping single, same-sex and heterosexual couples have families. I spoke to co-founder Erika Tranfield about her reasons behind creating the site. Erika wanted her child to know their father's identity and be involved in their life, the amount of contact would depend on many factors, such as do we agree on similar parenting styles and is our child happy to have occasional contact, as ultimately it is all about the child's wellbeing. Erika explained what the site offers from guidelines to checklists of what people need to think about as well as health screenings and access to fertility law advice. Pride Angel holds events for people to meet and share experiences as well as sharing research on issues affecting people looking to go down the alternative parenting route. The site also works with production companies to help them raise awareness on issues such as co-parenting and they are working with Finestripe productions who are making a three-part series, being which will follow those who are keen to conceive and raise a child with a platonic co-parent. They hope those taking part could benefit from the advice offered by legal, financial, and fertility experts who are already involved in the series. The world of co-parenting is predominantly online, so Finestripe is inviting those who are serious about co-parenting the chance to meet up in person, hoping this offers a chance to share experiences and advice and meet other people like you. Fine stripe is looking to hear from: People seeking a co-parent, co-parents who are trying to or have conceived, co-parent families. If you are interested please email info@prideangel.com (mailto:info@prideangel.com) Alternatively, if you are thinking of having a baby with an anon anonymous sperm donor or a man considering sperm donation and want to be known to your future child, RDF Productions want to hear from you. Email donorparents@rdftelevision.com (mailto:donorparents@rdftelevision.com) You might also be interested in listening to this episode I made speaking to the Donor Conception Network (https://www.thefertilitypodcast.com/donor/)

15. 

    2 Feb 2022

    What is it like to be an egg donor?

    Have you wondered about egg donation and been put off by the sensationalized newspaper articles or just not really understood how it all works? My latest episode hears from an egg donor. A lovely lady called Amelia has donated 29 eggs. Amelia shares her story of her husband's cystic fibrosis and her own gynecological problems which meant that starting a family wasn't an option for the pair. So Amelia chose to help others start theirs. She is now crowdfunding to help another couple start their family. You can read Amelia's blog and get a link to her JustGiving page here (https://myeggdonationjourney.wordpress.com/). Amelia is working with Altrui (http://www.altrui.co.uk/) who I have also spoken to in this episode. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2d8DKga3yY&amp;feature=youtu.be You can read Amelia's blog and get a link to her JustGiving page here (https://myeggdonationjourney.wordpress.com/) Alison Bagshawe is the founder of Altrui and explained to me how Altrui was set up in 2010 to meet the overwhelming need for egg donors in the UK. Alison believed that couples in the UK needed more practical help when seeking a donor and that the women who donate eggs deserved to be properly looked after, well-informed, and appreciated for what they were doing. There is lots of brilliant information on Altrui's website which I think if you are interested in becoming a donor or considering using a donor please do go and have a look as it really is beautifully presented. You can follow Amelia on Twitter I'm the one who looks after others,not the other way round!Still in hospital,6cm ovarian cyst found-Ouch! #PCOS (https://twitter.com/hashtag/PCOS?src=hash) #endometriosis (https://twitter.com/hashtag/endometriosis?src=hash) #infertility (https://twitter.com/hashtag/infertility?src=hash) — Amelia Abby (@Eggdonor29) February 17, 2017 (https://twitter.com/Eggdonor29/status/832643961764278277) You can also follow Altrui here Squeee!! SUPER news Sian! Your egg donation gave your couple a darling baby girl! &lt;3 #eggdonation (https://twitter.com/hashtag/eggdonation?src=hash) #IVF (https://twitter.com/hashtag/IVF?src=hash) #infertility (https://twitter.com/hashtag/infertility?src=hash) https://t.co/rA2aZusogk (https://t.co/rA2aZusogk) pic.twitter.com/WBnx0UXmfx (https://t.co/WBnx0UXmfx) — altrui (@AltruiDonor) January 30, 2017 (https://twitter.com/AltruiDonor/status/826098092298686467) I also mentioned how you can support this podcast by becoming a patron, which is pretty cool eh! Find out what I mean by clicking here (https://www.patreon.com/thefertilitypodcast)

16. 

    31 Jan 2022

    How is infertility perceived in Mexico? Author Carmen Martinez explains

    Welcome to National Fertility Awareness Week 2015 and Monday's episode. To help raise awareness of the week, I'm releasing a podcast every day starting with Carmen in Mexico.. now you might ask why I've chosen to leave the UK on day 1, but I want to highlight how there are people all over the world going through a similar struggle to start a family, as you might have found yourself going through. Carmen found peace in her painting and later her storybooks which she has kindly donated as a giveaway. Scroll down to find out how you could get copies of her books. About my Guest: Carmen is a fertility coach, regression therapist, infertility writer, and painter now based in Mexico City. During her infertility years, she painted her emotions, which without realizing was therapy for her. This leads her to help people who, like her, had difficulty conceiving a child. She became Director of the Mexican Infertility Association (http://www.ami-ac.com) (AMI) and publish her autobiography 'I want to have a child, whatever it takes' and 6 stories for children on all the different forms of conception (egg donation, sperm donation, surrogacy, two dads, single mums, etc), which her sister Rosemary, illustrated. Carmen has given lectures in India, Turkey, Spain, Chile, Brazil, the USA &amp; Mexico. Two years ago she helped form, RED TRAscender (https://www.facebook.com/RedTrascender) a network of Latin American support groups. In this podcast you will learn: The perception of infertility in Mexico Using art as therapy Dealing with loss Considering adoption Follow Carmen on Twitter: @CarmenMJover (https://twitter.com/CarmenMJover) I want to have a child, whatever it takes! NOW available as iBook https://t.co/R15CjixEwg (https://t.co/R15CjixEwg) pic.twitter.com/JgEtobzRAH (https://t.co/JgEtobzRAH) — Carmen MartinezJover (@CarmenMJover) October 25, 2015 (https://twitter.com/CarmenMJover/status/658314775785418752) If you would like a copy of Carmen's books email info@thefertilitypodcast.com to be entered into a prize draw.

17. 

    27 Jan 2022

    A journey towards Solo Motherhood with Cat and Jocelyn

    This special episode isn't me, well you'll hear me at the start but it's a poddy take over by the lovely Cat Strawbridge aka @tryingyears (https://www.instagram.com/tryingyears/) Cat now has her own podcast called Finally Pregnant, however, she started her presenting journey with a series of brilliant Instagram lives, talking about topics ranging from How to Choose a Clinic, Making Difficult Decisions, and The Dark Side of our emotions As part of this, she recently introduced a new ‘Fertility Lives’ series, inviting a guest to join her to talk about their own experiences because of #EveryStoryMatters. Cat is a strong believer in us finding out more about each other’s experiences because it may help us be better prepared for what may lay ahead, plus it will help us, as part of the TTC community, to advocate on behalf of everyone dealing with fertility issues, no matter what their story. It kicked off this week with Jocelyn aka @motheringsolo (https://www.instagram.com/motheringsolo/) who talked about her journey to becoming a Solo Mum which includes egg freezing, donor selection, and more.

18. 

    13 Jan 2022

    Alternative Routes to Parenthood

    In this series you will hear conversations about routes to parenthood from same sex couples, solo parents as well as people navigating donor conception. You can learn about surrogacy around the world, the legalities involved and also we discuss adoption and childlessness not by choice.

Contact Donor Conception and Surrogacy

Guest appearances

Books guests

Based on episode analysis; this does not confirm that the show is currently accepting guests.