Captain Wardle and Lieutenant Taylor travel to 17th century London to soak in the culture.
Guest staring;
Stacey Pannett as Mabel.
Dawn Brocklehurst as Lucy the bar babe.
Robert Green as Fred the mugger.
Written and performed by Christian Taylor-Hughes as Captain Chris.
Produced and performed by Alfie Measures-Wardle as Lieutenant Taylor.
All original music by Alvin Marriot.
All licensed music by Epidemic Sound.
Contact - donttouchanythingpod@gmail.com
14 Sept 2026
Episode 9. Dinosaurs
Plunging back 66 million years into the Cretaceous, the crew explores a lost world.
Season 2, Episode One.
Written and performed by Christian Taylor-Hughes as Captain Chris.
Produced and performed by Alfie Measures Wardle as Lieutenant Alfie.
Guest featuring William Goldie-Galloway as Goldie the mech.
All original music by Alvin Marriott.
End credit music, with thanks to;
Chill Progressive Rock / Metal Riffs by Geoff-Bremner-Audio -- https://freesound.org/s/718830/ -- License: Attribution 4.0
14 Sept 2026
The Hollow Signal
The year is 2840, the UE Navy is at war. Lieutenant Wardle and Flight Officer Bell set out past the known systems in search of a mysterious transmission - but some signals are not meant to be answered.
Season One prequel, episode 1/2.
Staring;
Michelle Marriott as Flight Officer Kate Bell.
Jackie Marriot as Jane Bell.
Jack Brocklehurst as Intelligence Officer Mr Moore.
Sean Ward as Captain Tanner.
Grace Johnstone as Admiral Grace Kelly.
Alfie Measures Wardle as Lieutenant Taylor.
Written and produced by Christian Taylor-Hughes as Lieutenant Wardle.
9 Sept 2026
Update - Double drop announcement.!
Join Captain Chris on the ships bridge for a quick update on Season 2 progress.
3 Jul 2026
Episode 8. Genghis Khan
Under their own initiative, Captain Wardle and Lieutenant Taylor travel to Mongolia to arrest Genghis Khan for SA.
(Season One Finale)
Written, produced and voiced by -
Christian Taylor-Hughes as Captain Chris
Alfie Measures-Wardle as Lieutenant Alfie
All original music by Alvin Marriott.
21 Jun 2026
Episode 7. Roswell
The ships crew head to New Mexico to investigate reports of an alien encounter.
Guest staring - Antony Taylor-Hughes as Colonel William Blanchard.
William Goldie-Galloway as Goldie the killer robot.
All original music by Alvin Marriott
With thanks to, for end credit music;
Chill Progressive Rock / Metal Riffs by Geoff-Bremner-Audio - https://freesound.org/s/718830/ - License:
Attribution 4.0
16 Jun 2026
Update: Episodes 1-6 remastered + Episode 7! With Cap. Chris
Join Captain Chris on the ships bridge for a quick update on Season One progress.
31 May 2026
Episode 6. Baby Hitler
Breaking with precedent, the ships crew attempt to change the course of world war two.
Guest staring Professional fighter - William Goldie-Galloway - as 'Goldie' the killer robot.
Jack Brocklehurst - as Sergeant Fritz
Sean and Caylee Ward - as baby Hitler
All original music by - Alvin Marriott
Audio and Production - Alfie Wardle (LT Taylor)
Written by - Christian Taylor-Hughes (Cap Wardle)
With thanks to, for Goldie theme music;cyberpunk_metal.flac by Bertsz -- https://freesound.org/s/672783/ -- License: Creative Commons 0
18 May 2026
Episode 5. Titanic
Along with their new colleague, the crew visit RMS Titanic on her maiden voyage.
Guest staring Jack Brocklehurst as Officer Lowe + Deck Steward.
All original music by Alvin Marriott.
Written by Christian Taylor-Hughes
Audio and production by Alfie Measures Wardle
End credit music, with thanks to;
Chill Progressive Rock / Metal Riffs by Geoff-Bremner-Audio -- https://freesound.org/s/718830/ -- License: Attribution 4.0
4 May 2026
Episode 4. Pompeii
Captain Wardle and Lieutenant Taylor travel to the ancient city of Pompeii to settle an argument, picking up a a new friend along the way.
Staring,
Christian Taylor-Hughes as Captain Wardle
Alfie Measures Wardle as Lieutenant Taylor
Original Music by - Alvin Marriott
Written by - Christian Taylor-Hughes
Production and sound by - Alfie Measures Wardle
19 Apr 2026
Episode 3. Pyramids
Naval pilots Wardle and Taylor travel to Ancient Egypt to discover who built the Pyramids and how.
Contact -
Facebook https://www.facebook.com/share/g/18bXbi6dCj/?mibextid=wwXIfr
Email
donttouchanythingpod@gmail.com
19 Apr 2026
Episode 2. Moon Landing
After acquiring a functioning Time Machine, Captain Wardle and Lieutenant Taylor travel back in time to witness the moon landings first hand.
End credit music, with thanks to;
Chill Progressive Rock / Metal Riffs by Geoff-Bremner-Audio -- https://freesound.org/s/718830/ -- License: Attribution 4.0
Contact -
Facebook https://www.facebook.com/share/g/18bXbi6dCj/?mibextid=wwXIfr
Email
donttouchanythingpod@gmail.com
19 Apr 2026
Episode 1. Docking
While carrying out a routine delivery, Federal Navy pilots Captain Wardle and Lieutenant Taylor discover an anomalous signal.
Contact -
Facebook https://www.facebook.com/share/g/18bXbi6dCj/?mibextid=wwXIfr
Email
donttouchanythingpod@gmail.com
Reach and audience
Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.
Apple Podcasts (US)
5.0 / 5
1 ratings
Spotify
5.0 / 5
37 ratings
Contact Don’t Touch Anything
Guest appearances
Books guests
Based on episode analysis; this does not confirm that the show is currently accepting guests.
Pod Engine is an independent podcast discovery and analytics service and is not affiliated with or endorsed by this podcast. Artwork and show content belong to their owners. Full legal notice.
Explore this show Podcast research with Pod Engine
