EMERGE – Crisis Coaching by Mathias Maul

About EMERGE – Crisis Coaching by Mathias Maul

Not a proper podcast (yet) – just a collection of sound bites related to crisis/transformational coaching published here for better accessibility for those who are not on LinkedIn. Refer to https://crisis.wtf for more information.

Publisher

Mathias Maul

Category

business

Language

en

Explicit

No

First episode

19 Jan 2023

Latest episode

24 Apr 2024

Latest episodes

18 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   24 Apr 2024

   Resiliency Series, no. 7: Embrace the mindfuck

   About 10 years ago, I published an article with some strategies to increase psychological resilience. And … one of the most powerful of them is also the one that always seemed to baffle the most readers. It is strategy number seven, embrace the mindfuck. So, let me explain.

2. 

   5 Aug 2023

   Embrace the Feels

   When teams run into conflict, either among themselves or with other teams or clients, the standard advice is to look at the content, to look at who said what or who did not do what he should have done … and leave everything else to the team members. This everything else, sadly, includes the emotional content of the conflict. This is especially prevalent in executive teams, the assumptions being that (a) emotions don't belong in the workplace, which quite obviously does not make any sense, (b) the wild assumption that everyone is an adult and can take care of him- or herself, and (c) that we ain’t got no time for that. These assumptions have developed in many companies and are as deeply ingrained as they are utterly absurd because they remove from the team the very fabric that it is made of: human beings. The good news is that not a single executive that I have been working with has dropped dead from connecting with himself and expressing emotions, and neither has anyone ever been ridiculed or shunned. The elephant in the room is emotional, and everyone involved in the conflict must – MUST – get a clear view of it in order to sustainably solve the situation and emerge with learnings that shape a more productive and humane future for the team. So, make the elephant visible, just for one hour set aside the content of the conflict and help your people focus on their emotions. Don't forget to open up yourself as well. Just listening is a good start. Refer to the article linked below for more information and hands-on advice. https://maulco.com/en/opinions/resolve-team-conflicts/ [Ad] Emotionally empowered teams relieve executives and HR departments of work that does not belong on their tables. Let me help you guide your teams towards being able to handle conflicts on their own – among themselves, with other teams, or with clients. This service is an integral part of my Empathetic Organisational Development programme, but can be booked à la carte as a series of workshops and one-on-one coaching sessions. Please get in touch with me for details.

3. 

   23 Mar 2023

   Being Seen

   I just returned from a business trip to Japan. This time I took my son with me — his first time there. His business, of course, was more about delighting in the wonders of a world that was new to him. Right after we landed, still at the airport, he was euphoric when he noticed that people went out of their way to be attentive, present, and friendly. We talked about this a lot, and after a day or two, it turned out that he was continually experiencing something that is much more common in Japan than in other parts of the world: Being seen. Some of you might say, oh, the friendliness is just part of doing business, but even if it were so – and I’m convinced it’s not – then the ritual alone would still be enough to make a difference. Being seen triggers something that is deeply rooted inside of us. Being seen, acknowledged, validated is a basic human need, even if only in one’s bare existence. Of course, this is neither exclusive to Japan, nor is it a cure-all for societal issues. What was so special on our trip, and what I sorely miss whenever I return from Japan is the effortlessness. Cashiers, even at a kombini late at night, look you in the eyes while they hand you the receipt. Train conductors bow when entering and leaving a carriage. Single postcards are paper-wrapped meticulously, even the simplest – and ritualized – irasshaimase! when entering the simplest noodle shop triggers the feeling of being seen. And all of this seems to happen without the second thought, and probably even without a first, throughout professions, ages, situations. I routinely work with people and teams that complain about not being seen. “I’m just a small cogwheel” they say, or “our team is seen just as a cost center in the company.” Acknowledging one another, however, is of course mutual. If you feel not seen by someone, ask yourself how clearly, if at all, you see and acknowledge them, their needs, values, even their basic existence. Then, consider reconnecting. As an exercise, start with a cashier in a supermarket. Or the pizza guy who delivers your overtime dinner to the office. Or the homeless person you pass on your way to work every morning. You’ll earn some bewildered looks for sure. People are not used to being acknowledged, much less just for being there. To prepare for this experiment, it’s helpful to learn to see, acknowledge, and validate yourself. Before we left for the trip, my son was a centimeter shorter than me. Now, after we’ve returned, he’s taller. I’m taking this as a nice anecdote. Being seen helps to grow. [Ad] If you’re struggling with not being seen or not being able to connect with your employees, partner, kids, or yourself, then consider seeing me. Coaching plans start at 5K per month with a minimum commitment of half a year. Read the text at crisis.wtf (https://crisis.wtf) and get in touch.

4. 

   25 Feb 2023

   Build from Scratch

   There is a fantastic Radiolab episode from 2014 called “Goo and You.” I often recommend it to my clients because it had a profound effect on my work and life. Transformation does not need to happen in a piecemeal way. Coaching does not need to happen in small increments. Sometimes it’s more efficient – and more beautiful – to first disassemble everything, and then put it back together again. Listen to the episode, I’ve pasted the link below. https://www.radiolab.org/episodes/goo-and-you [Advertisement] If you’re anxious of turning into goo, get in touch with me. Coaching packages start at 5K per month, with a minimum commitment of half a year. Please read the text at crisis.wtf for details. Image source: Chronologischer Raupenkalender, C. F. Vogel, 1837. The Biodiversity Heritage Library at the Smithsonian Institution.

5. 

   23 Feb 2023

   Undress When it’s Cold

   Over the years, I have established some habits when running in winter. As soon as outside temperatures hit seven degrees, I run with just a t-shirt and short pants, even when it’s windy, or raining, or both. And when I step out and head for the park, I’ve made it a habit to not flinch in response to the cold. My body, of course, wants to nope out immediately. But 10 minutes in, I feel how I’m generating heat from the inside. Arms, legs, face, they are still cold to the touch, but mere millimetres below, the body starts glowing. Other runners wear long sleeve shirts even when it’s 10 degrees or warmer, and even others run bare-chested in subzero temperatures. The exact temperature does not matter. What matters is that there is some point when your body wants to nope out, when you instinctively want to return to the warm bed, sofa, or even office chair. And what matters then is to not flinch, to continue, to realize what’s happening and get going. And the bigger the difference between your noping-out temperature and your comfy temperature, the faster you’ll be able to get warm on your own. And this is very, very similar to changes in emotions or behaviors. The larger the delta between the current crisis-ridden state of mind and your goal, the faster you’ll be able to make change happen. So if you are a runner, start by undressing. Feel cold on purpose, and practice warming yourself with your own resources. If you’re in a crisis, realize that to change, learning not to flinch in the face of adversity is the first step. Then, start running. [Advertisement] If you would like to run with me, metaphorically or for real, get in touch. Coaching packages start at 5K per month with a minimum commitment of half a year. Before you contact me, please read the text at crisis.wtf (https://crisis.wtf).

6. 

   12 Feb 2023

   True Answers

   I’d like to be more efficient at work, Matt, a client told me recently. I must admit that I yawned a bit when he said that, I heard this sentence countless times. More efficient, more productive, more everything. Nothing against getting better, of course. Many clients, however, do need some time, a couple of days or weeks, until they realize which of their goals are worth pursuing. Ask yourself: what happens when you've become more efficient? What happens then? And then? And then? Continue asking yourself this question until you’ve reached a point that feels like it's part of you. Part of your true self. Again, this sounds as simple as it might be difficult to do. Pull through and you’ll notice that you’ll become more efficient, or productive, or everything, just by having an answer to this question. Years ago I asked myself why I wanted to become more efficient and effective at work. One answer was: to allow myself to travel more. But this didn’t feel close enough to my true self. It was more like, like a reward, a treat. So I continued asking and realized that it was more about my son than about myself. I hadn’t been on a holiday when I was a kid, so taking him to see the world is as dear to my heart as he is. There’s a short article on the pitfalls of self optimization, which I’m linking to below. If you’d like to work with me directly, read the text at crisis.wtf (https://crisis.wtf/) and get in touch. Coaching plans start at 5K per month with a minimum commitment of half a year. PS. Here’s the article on self-optimization: https://maulco.com/en/opinions/self-optimization-taking-the-in-out-of-insanity/

7. 

   10 Feb 2023

   Seek Discomfort

   Some years ago, my yoga teacher told me that the goal of the asanas – the physical exercises that are part of yoga – the goal is not to become as flexible as possible as is commonly thought. It’s also not to outdo the person on the map next to you in the studio. The goal, he said, is to deliberately seek discomfort. To get your body, your limbs, into uncomfortable positions. Positions in which your joints and bones and muscles can barely hold you, and to get your mind into who position it would rather not be in. And then, when you're feeling as uncomfortable as you can, keep on breathing and holding and breathing. Even after years of practicing yoga, the poses will still be uncomfortable. That’s the whole point. What will change though is the way how you handle uncomfortable situations, both on the mat and at the office. And this, my teacher said, is a metaphor for life. You won’t be able to always avoid situations that are hard to hold. Your body, your mind, your emotions will be twisted into shapes that they have never been in before. If this – no, when this happens –, it’s helpful if you’ve taken the time and determination to practise. If you’d like to work and practise with me, then read the text at https://crisis.wtf (https://crisis.wtf) and get in touch. Coaching plans start at 5K per month, with a minimum commitment of half a year. (NB. I did notice the typos in the subtitles, but … hey, it’s Friday afternoon, so … ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

8. 

   7 Feb 2023

   Looking at Your[ ]Self

   Yesterday, my son and I had a meeting with his class teacher. These meetings happen twice a year to gauge the development of students. The two had a conversation while I was sitting at the side, observing and listening because, well, it was their appointment, and I was the guest. The teacher was happy with one improvement in particular: He said that my son had gained lots of self-confidence in the past half-year. And then, looking at him, he said: “Are you aware that you’re keeping eye contact with me … while we’re talking … all the time?” — To which my son replied: “Yeah, I do, and it confuses the hell out of me!” Self-confidence is nothing that one can “have.” It’s something that you do. One way of acting – and thus being! – self-confident is keeping eye contact with others. The other one, going much deeper, and a bit more difficult to learn, is keeping eye contact with yourself. Look at yourself as you are. Yes, this might be confusing for you, just as it is confusing for my son to become more self-aware. Confusion means growth. If you’d like to work with me, with our without eye contact, read the text at crisis.wtf (https://crisis.wtf) and get in touch by email. Coaching plans start at 5K per month, with a minimum commitment of half a year.

9. 

   6 Feb 2023

   Artificial Empathy

   I’m well aware that many people cannot or do not want to afford working with a coach or therapist. Today, I’m talking about two tools that can help you get along on your own. All URLs are in the show notes. Woebot is a virtual CBT therapist. CBT means cognitive behavioral therapy, which is one of the best researched and most efficient frameworks for personal change currently known. Woebot is a joy to use. The conversation design is first class, and it does not pretend to be anything else than a bot— a very charming one. I’m using it myself and recommend it wholeheartedly. Another tool … well, it's the elephant in the room, right? ChatGPT has made headlines recently and it does a very convincing job at seeming intelligent, unless specific advice is what you need. It is an excellent sidekick to help you tidy up your inner monologue. Just babble, let it summarize, associate freely, repeat. In the 1960s, computer scientist Joseph Weizenbaum created ELIZA, one of the first programs that aimed to imitate a human being, or more specifically, a therapist practicing Active Listening, which is a part of Rogerian talk therapy. Joseph Weizenbaum was rather horrified though when users started to think that ELIZA was actually intelligent. They anthropomorphized a piece of software, which later became known as the ELIZA Effect. This was one of the experiences that led the A.I. pioneer to turn into one of the most vocal critics of the field. Will tools like Woebot or ChatGPT replace human coaches and therapists? This question predates even Weizenbaum’s work. When I took machine learning and AI courses at university 25 years ago, we discussed the implications of programs like ELIZA. Would they make therapists obsolete? Well, I do hope that these tools will enable millions of people to get the help they need, but are unable to receive because of money, limited availability or stigmatization. Woebot and similar tools are just like junior consultants that can get a job done that is fixed in scope. A human coach or therapist is like a personal project manager for your change process. I can see the intricate details of what you are made of and create a very specific, very efficient plan for changing every part of your self that you want or need changed. If you can do fine with the junior consultant, please go for it. If you need an expert, get in touch with me for a free exploration call. Plans start at 5K per month with a minimum commitment of half year. See https://crisis.wtf (https://crisis.wtf) for details. Woebot: https://woebot.io / ChatGPT: https://chat.openai.com / ELIZA: https://elizagen.org // I am not affiliated with any of these services in any way, and do not receive monetary or other compensation.

10. 

    3 Feb 2023

    Old Friends

    There are probably parts of yourself that you haven’t been in contact with for years or even decades. But they are there somewhere below the surface or right behind this corner of that, like friends and experiences from years past. They do their part in defining your personality … your self. Especially in times of crisis, of extreme instability, these parts tend to come out of the dark. When they reach the surface of your consciousness, they might be fun and interesting, or they might be anxious, panicked, frightening, or frightened. Whatever way these parts of your personality show up, please know that they need to be heard, seen and, possibly, loved. Approach them with as little expectation as possible. Accept them as a part of who you are. Listen to their anxiety, their panic. Or join them in their happiness. Let’s see what you are made of. Please read the text at https://crisis.wtf (https://crisis.wtf) and get in touch if you would like to work with me. Free exploration call, and plans start at 5K per month with a minimum commitment of half a year.

11. 

    3 Feb 2023

    Patience

    I’m repeating this today because it’s so important: Patience is an underrated skill that contributes to making personal change work, and to making this change sustainable. Remember the spaghetti analogy I introduced in my previous post: Whenever you change one of your behaviors, feelings, or attitude, this change will affect other parts of your self. So … at the outset of any self transformational process, it’s helpful, really helpful to check on your skill of being patient. If you’re in a crisis, it’s understandable that you might find it hard to be patient, of course, but you need to consider it a crucial skill for any kind of change. Start small if necessary. For example, with meditation – a standard method that helps developing your skill of being patient. Send me a message if you’re new to meditation, and I’ll recommend some starting points. And even with just a few minutes per day, you’ll see and feel results pretty quickly. When we work together in a coaching process, I can of course support you in your meditation practice. Please read the text at https://crisis.wtf (https://crisis.wtf) and get in touch with me for a free exploration call. Coaching plans start at 5K per month with a minimum commitment of half a year.

12. 

    30 Jan 2023

    Spaghetti

    Change can be quick and simple. Feeling anxious when talking to a team or giving a speech? This typically takes just a few sessions to resolve, and most people can do this on their own, can do perfectly fine without coaching or therapy if they invest enough time and commitment. Please be mindful though, that every change within your complex inner workings will have consequences. Your mind is not like a clockwork where a turn of a cogwheel produces clear results. It’s more like a convoluted, steaming - and wonderful - heap of spaghetti. When you move one noodle, you’re bound to move others as well, and they behave unpredictably. If you change parts of your behaviour, then other parts of your self might be surprised or confused. These unexpected changes can happen on the inside as well as on the outside. When your boss notices your new skills, you might get promoted, which in turn could create new opportunities or problems. There are some simple tips to handle these effects when you’re working without a coach: don't overdo it, BE PATIENT and observe closely. Change only one behaviour at a time. Then, even and especially if you’re super, super happy and excited with the results, wait for a couple of days, or even better a couple of weeks, and closely observe how other parts of yourself are adapting to the change. It’s also helpful to write a change log and keep it up to date with your observations. If you’d like to work with me, rest assured that I’ll be the project manager for your personal change process. And of course, I’ll also handle the logging. Please read the short text at https://crisis.wtf (https://crisis.wtf) and get in touch with me by email or here on LinkedIn. Plans start at 5K per month with a minimum commitment of half a year.

13. 

    28 Jan 2023

    Comfort Zone

    The term comfort zone is a coping strategy. I can’t count the times someone said to me, Hey Matt, I want to get out of my comfort zone. If it‘s comfortable, why get out? If you have reached a state of complacency, a state of just getting through the day somehow okay … how is this comfortable? Whoever came up with the term comfortzone to describe an unwanted state might have done it with the best intentions. Same as the people who started calling problems “challenges” to try to hide the painful parts of problems. But good intentions are no guarantee for good results. So watch your words as they reflect your inner workings. If there’s a state of mind that you would like to be in, love to be in, then this is your comfort zone. Find another term, another word for the state that you want to get out of. If you‘d like to work with me to find your real comfort zones, gain resiliency and create opportunities, then please read the short text at https://crisis.wtf (https://crisis.wtf) and get in touch with me by email or on LinkedIn. Plans start at 5K per month with a minimum commitment of half a year.

14. 

    26 Jan 2023

    Exercise

    There is a second reason why I advocate a half year minimum for any transformational process, especially when it is triggered by a crisis, and this reason is: exercise. There are quite some research results that say that you need to practice a new skill for, say, 5,000 hours, 10,000 hours or 80,000 hours, depending on which study you read. But what they all have in common, and what’s quite obvious is that to master a skill, any skill, there needs to be some kind of exercise. And this exercise can be self-guided, of course. But if you are in a situation where you have the feeling that you’re losing control, that everything is collapsing onto you, then it might be helpful to have someone at your side to watch your steps when you start exercising and who stays with you while you get better, and who lets you go when you've mastered all the skills that you need to master the transformation. I’ve got one free coaching slot coming up on February 6th. Minimum commitment is half a year, starting at 5K per month. Get more information at https://crisis.wtf (https://crisis.wtf) or contact me on LinkedIn.

15. 

    24 Jan 2023

    Guardrails

    Someone on LinkedIn asked me yesterday: why the half-year minimum commitment? How can you be sure that it takes six months to turn a crisis into an opportunity? Well, the truth is, of course, that I don’t know. No one can know in advance if a transformation takes a week, a month or a year. One reason for the half-year commitment minimum is that it has proven to be a good timeframe to build guardrails. Imagine your transformational process as a bridge that spans a river. You’re going over the bridge, you want to go or you must go, or both. And when I arrive at your bridge and start walking at your side, I build guardrails. You can zig and zag, and you can take steps forward and back, and I’ll be with you all the time, maintaining and reinforcing the rails, making sure that you won't fall down and get carried away by the river. Six months is a good timeframe for doing this, simply because after this half year, you’ll be able to maintain the guard rails by yourself. And there's another not as obvious reason. I’ll get to that in the next post. I’ve got one slot opening for a new coaching client from February 6th, starting at 5K per month, for at least half a year. Check out https://crisis.wtf (https://crisis.wtf), or contact me on LinkedIn. And of course, if you've got any questions, put them into the comments.

16. 

    23 Jan 2023

    Create a Crisis

    There’s a nice little experiment – or game – that you can try … create a crisis! This will help you get on your toes if you've grown too complacent. Get a die, a standard six-sided one is enough, and whenever a decision is coming up, just write a list of your options 1 to 5. Then for number 6, write the decision that you would never, ever take. One that is so far outside of your comfort zone that you would never even consider it. Then commit to doing what the die is telling you. Throw it. Do it. Creating small crises now and then helps you deal with the bigger ones. They will come and they will stay if you’re not prepared. I’ve got one slot opening for a new coaching client from February 6th. Minimum commitment six months starting at 5K a month. More at https://crisis.wtf (https://crisis.wtf), or get in touch with me on LinkedIn.

17. 

    21 Jan 2023

    Stability

    A common misconception is that the solution to crisis is stability, a predictable, stable life. I believe that this is a misguided, and actually harmful, view. Decades ago, my biology teacher said … there’s a word for a system—like a plant or human or a dog—there’s a word for a system that is completely stable. This word is … dead. You know, crisis is not the opposite of stability. A crisis is created through the interplay of events outside your sphere of control and your actions. And in coaching, the goal is not, or should not be, to reach a state of stability, but to create a perpetual state of mind where you can feel safe and act productively no matter what happens around you. I have got one slot for a new coaching client from February 6th, minimum commitment half a year starting at 5k per month. More info at https://crisis.wtf (https://crisis.wtf), or get in touch with me on LinkedIn.

18. 

    19 Jan 2023

    Control

    Most of my crisis coaching clients suffer from the same basic problem, or should I say, from the same basic illusion. They say that they’re losing control, control over their jobs, their lives, their businesses, their kids, their wives, boyfriends, whatever. What they don’t realize though is that they never had any control to begin with. The, you know, the only thing, really, the only thing that you can control are your own thoughts and emotions. Nothing else. You might be able to influence others, of course, but you won’t ever be able to control anything but your mind and feelings. So if people are saying … they’re losing control, they cannot lose anything they never had. And the problem of losing control is not a problem. It’s normality. And realizing this and acting accordingly is among the first important steps for resolving a crisis. I’ve got one open slot for a coaching client starting at February 6th this year. Minimum commitment half a year, starting at 5K per month. More info at https://crisis.wtf (https://crisis.wtf), or get in touch with me here on LinkedIn.

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