Trauma-informed erotic education centering around: Your desires are not too much. Your body is not broken. Your sex life is not doomed. <br/><br/><a href="https://eroticreclamation.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast">eroticreclamation.substack.com</a>
Erotic Reclamation
Claim This Podcastby Kari Kinkead & Nicholette Routhier
5.0(1 reviews)
16 episodes
Updated Daily
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Podcast Overview
Trauma-informed erotic education centering around: Your desires are not too much. Your body is not broken. Your sex life is not doomed. <br/><br/><a href="https://eroticreclamation.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast">eroticreclamation.substack.com</a>
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Publishing Since
1/7/2026
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Recent Episodes
July 22, 2026
Over 60 and More Erotic Than Ever
<p>It’s a big fat cultural lie that women hit a sexual peak in their 20s or 30s and then decline. The reality for many women post-menopause is the opposite: sovereignty, freedom from giving a f*ck, deeper self-knowledge, and a richer relationship with pleasure.</p><p>In this episode, we sit down with Lisa LaCroix — ommunication and intimacy muse, and competitive ballroom dancer. She embodies “Erotic High Priestess” and makes the case that that is the missing archetype between Mother and Crone, challenging the idea that post-menopausal women are past their prime.</p><p>Lisa shares freely about what it was like re-entering the dating scene in her 50s and how she reclaimed her eroticism after motherhood. Intriguingly, she also compares the cultural focus on the “orgasm gap” to the 1980s Power Suit. In her opinion, trying to give women more orgasms is just co-opting the male model of sexuality instead of expanding into what feminine pleasure actually is.</p><p>Finally, we get into what younger women can learn from this conversation right now. So women of all ages are not going to want to miss this episode!</p><p>Lisa LaCroix's links:</p><p>- Coaching & workshops: <a target="_blank" href="https://www.lisalacroix.com/">https://www.lisalacroix.com/</a></p><p>- YouTube: <a target="_blank" href="https://www.youtube.com/@Lisa_LaCroix">https://www.youtube.com/@Lisa_LaCroix</a></p><p>- TikTok: <a target="_blank" href="https://www.tiktok.com/@lisa_lacroix">https://www.tiktok.com/@lisa_lacroix</a></p><p>- Instagram: <a target="_blank" href="https://www.instagram.com/lisabl/">https://www.instagram.com/lisabl/</a></p><p>- Facebook: <a target="_blank" href="https://www.facebook.com/SPUPodcast/">https://www.facebook.com/SPUPodcast/</a></p><p>♥️</p><p><strong>Temple of Yes</strong></p><p>Where trusting yourself creates the intimacy and aliveness you desire.</p><p>The application process includes a 30 min call with Kari or Nicholette to make sure the retreat is the right fit for you, and you're the right fit for the retreat.</p><p>Come ask all your questions and figure out if it's a Yes!</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.eroticreclamation.com/temple-of-yes">https://www.eroticreclamation.com/temple-of-yes</a></p><p>♥️</p><p><strong>Chapter Timestamps</strong></p><p><strong>0:00</strong> — Lisa LaCroix on aging, eroticism, and post-menopausal liberation</p><p><strong>2:51</strong> — Lisa’s arc: from homeschooling mother to ballroom dancer at 50 to divorce at 52</p><p><strong>8:27</strong> — What Lisa wants women in their late 30s and early 40s to know</p><p><strong>10:34</strong> — The four pillars of artful aging: optimization, reinvention, rebranding, and gracious acceptance</p><p><strong>16:17</strong> — The freedom of post-menopause: you finally aren’t performing</p><p><strong>20:24</strong> — The missing archetype: “Maiden, Mother, and Crone” needs an Erotic High Priestess between 50 and 70</p><p><strong>25:58</strong> — Nicholette’s journey of stepping into submission in her mid-40s</p><p><strong>28:36</strong> — Unveiling self vs. seeking self: discovering what was always there vs frantically looking for what’s missing</p><p><strong>34:02</strong> — What women have lost by only knowing male-bodied sexuality, and what becomes possible when feminine pleasure leads</p><p><strong>39:03</strong> — What men don’t know about feminine pleasure</p><p><strong>44:06</strong> — More orgasms isn’t the answer to women’s sexual liberation</p><p><strong>46:03</strong> — Lisa’s experience at the Temple of Yes, and why permission to want what you actually want is so needed and so rare</p><p>♥️</p><p><strong>Podcasts to listen to next:</strong></p><p>What is Energetic Sex? <a target="_blank" href="https://eroticreclamation.substack.com/p/what-is-energetic-sex">https://eroticreclamation.substack.com/p/what-is-energetic-sex</a></p><p>Desire: Feel It, Name It, Claim It <a target="_blank" href="https://eroticreclamation.substack.com/p/desire-feel-it-name-it-claim-it">https://eroticreclamation.substack.com/p/desire-feel-it-name-it-claim-it</a></p><p>What Romantasy Knows About Sex that Most People Don't <a target="_blank" href="https://eroticreclamation.substack.com/p/what-romantasy-knows-about-sex-that">https://eroticreclamation.substack.com/p/what-romantasy-knows-about-sex-that</a></p><p>♥️</p><p><strong>Enjoying Erotic Reclamation? Leave a 5-star review to help our message spread!</strong></p><p><strong>♥️</strong></p><p>Erotic Reclamation is where sex-positive education meets somatic, trauma-informed practice.</p><p>We're Nicholette Routhier and Kari Kinkead: certified embodiment facilitators, kink priestesses, relationship coaches, and freaky guides for anyone ready to stop hiding their desire and start basking in it.</p><p>Our approach goes beyond what you’ll typically find at sex-positive workshops and play parties. We focus on:</p><p>- Embodied exploration of claiming your desires, energetic eroticism, power play, conflict repair, and so much more</p><p>- Meeting shame with tenderness, while reconnecting to your body's erotic intelligence</p><p>- Trauma-informed containers that prioritize nervous system safety, transparent communication, and full-body “fuck yes” consent and boundaries</p><p>- Building a healthy, integrated relationship with your sexual cravings and sexual partners</p><p>- Finding the kind of pleasure your body and soul has been dreaming of, but wasn’t sure really existed…</p><p>Whether you're curious about how to have better intimacy, navigating a kinky awakening, or wanting to explore even wider realms of pleasure, there's a place for you here.</p><p>No experience necessary, but all experience welcome.</p><p>Learn more at <a target="_blank" href="http://www.eroticreclamation.com">www.eroticreclamation.com</a>.</p><p>With love ♥️</p><p>Kari & Nicholette</p> <br/><br/>This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit <a href="https://eroticreclamation.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1">eroticreclamation.substack.com</a>
July 17, 2026
I Don't Want to Mess This Up… But I Want More
<p>You have a desire you haven’t said out loud. Maybe it’s kinky, maybe it’s opening the relationship, maybe it’s something you read in a book about fae or dragons. Whatever it is, you’re terrified your partner will react badly to hearing your desire, so you sit on it… and sit on it… and sit on it, until either you shrink or explode.</p><p>In this episode, we are happy to give you a third way! A framework for walking the full path between having a desire and bringing it to your partner. First, we start with YOUR work, because there’s a lot you can do solo to clarify and even enjoy your desire. This includes: letting yourself fully feel it, understanding what’s underneath it, and working through any shame you have about wanting it.</p><p>Then we get into having the conversation, and how to stay connected with your partner throughout so it doesn’t turn into your vs my desires. Finally, we explore the art of negotiation and co-creation, where you and your partner find a version of your fantasy that lights both of you up.</p><p>We also get into:</p><p>* Why the first steps of working with a big desire are solo — not with your partner</p><p>* The difference between a desire, and the nourishment underneath it</p><p>* How to claim a desire for yourself without needing to act on it</p><p>* What to do when shame, fear, or past rejection shows up</p><p>* How to be curious about your partner’s “no” without crossing into coercion</p><p>* How to embrace the act of co-creating a new, mutual fantasy with your partner</p><p>And a gentle reminder before you dive in: desiring more doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means you’re human! And with the right safety and trust, we bet your partner wants you to be able to experience and enjoy everything your heart yearns for.</p><p>***</p><p><strong>Temple of Yes:</strong></p><p><strong>Finally!</strong><strong> An erotic retreat that's as safe and consensual as it is adventurous!</strong></p><p>The application process includes a 30 min call with Kari or Nicholette to make sure the retreat is the right fit for you, and you're the right fit for the retreat.</p><p>Come ask all your questions and figure out if it's a Yes!</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.eroticreclamation.com/temple-of-yes">https://www.eroticreclamation.com/temple-of-yes</a></p><p>***</p><p><strong>Chapter Timestamps</strong></p><p><strong>0:00</strong> — What we’re talking about today: when you have a desire that feels too risky to bring to your partner.</p><p><strong>5:05</strong> — How desire shows up when you’re trying not to feel it: numbing, scrolling, dampening, “everything’s fine”.</p><p><strong>8:45</strong> — What happens when you give yourself permission to want something, even something you’d never actually do.</p><p><strong>16:05</strong> — Why your body needs to own the desire before you ever bring it your partner.</p><p><strong>19:46</strong> — How to work with desires that potentially feel destructive to your relationship: find the deeper nourishment you’re craving under the fantasy.</p><p><strong>22:52</strong> — Process your own shame around your desire first, so you can be with your partner’s honest reaction to your desire without collapsing.</p><p><strong>25:00 — </strong>What claiming your desire for yourself (without your partner) can look like.</p><p><strong>26:39</strong> — Don’t skip the solo work! Urgency and repression are the things that makes desire dangerous, not desire itself.</p><p><strong>29:07</strong> — The power and manifesting magic of learning to “steep” in your desire.</p><p><strong>33:23</strong> — How to set up the conversation before jumping into “this is what I want right now!”</p><p><strong>34:17</strong> — The Weather Report: So you and your partner know where you’re actually at, instead of projecting onto each other!</p><p><strong>37:10</strong> — If/when you start to have big feelings, how to reveal what you’re feeling instead of lashing out.</p><p><strong>41:07</strong> — The North Star: The guiding light for the conversation so you and your partner remember you’re on the same team.</p><p><strong>47:19</strong> — Negotiating the desire: what to do when they say yes, how to stay curious when they say no, and and how to co-create something you’re both a f* yes too. (Check on <a target="_blank" href="https://eroticreclamation.substack.com/p/when-intimacy-is-frictiony-and-youre">this podcast</a> for more on this topic.)</p><p><strong>51:01</strong> — Remember the “yes, and”! It’ll take you so many hot, unexpected places with your partner.</p><p><strong>55:58</strong> — Every year we gather to support people claiming their desires, negotiating their boundaries, and co-creating fantasies! Learn more about Temple of Yes <a target="_blank" href="https://www.eroticreclamation.com/temple-of-yes">here</a>.</p><p>***</p><p>Podcasts to listen to next:</p><p>When Intimacy is Frictiony and You're Not Sure Why <a target="_blank" href="https://eroticreclamation.substack.com/p/when-intimacy-is-frictiony-and-youre">https://eroticreclamation.substack.com/p/when-intimacy-is-frictiony-and-youre</a></p><p>Desire: Feel It, Name It, Claim It <a target="_blank" href="https://eroticreclamation.substack.com/p/desire-feel-it-name-it-claim-it">https://eroticreclamation.substack.com/p/desire-feel-it-name-it-claim-it</a></p><p>Aftercare: The Antidote to Feeling Dropped After Sex <a target="_blank" href="https://eroticreclamation.substack.com/p/aftercare-the-antidote-to-feeling">https://eroticreclamation.substack.com/p/aftercare-the-antidote-to-feeling</a></p><p>***</p><p><strong>Give this podcast 5 stars to help our message spread!</strong></p><p>***</p><p>Erotic Reclamation is where sex-positive education meets somatic, trauma-informed practice.</p><p>We're Nicholette Routhier and Kari Kinkead: certified embodiment facilitators, kink priestesses, relationship coaches, and freaky guides for anyone ready to stop hiding their desire and start basking in it.</p><p>Our approach goes beyond what you’ll typically find at sex-positive workshops and play parties. We focus on:</p><p>- Embodied exploration of claiming your desires, energetic eroticism, power play, conflict repair, and so much more</p><p>- Meeting shame with tenderness, while reconnecting to your body's erotic intelligence</p><p>- Trauma-informed containers that prioritize nervous system safety, transparent communication, and full-body “fuck yes” consent and boundaries</p><p>- Building a healthy, integrated relationship with your sexual cravings and sexual partners</p><p>- Finding the kind of pleasure your body and soul has been dreaming of, but wasn’t sure really existed…</p><p>Whether you're curious about how to have better intimacy, navigating a kinky awakening, or wanting to explore even wider realms of pleasure, there's a place for you here. No experience necessary, but all experience welcome. Learn more at <a target="_blank" href="http://www.eroticreclamation.com">www.eroticreclamation.com</a>.</p><p>With love,</p><p>Kari & Nicholette</p><p>***</p><p>P.S. This episode is also on YouTube! Find it here: <a target="_blank" href="https://www.youtube.com/@EroticReclamation">https://www.youtube.com/@EroticReclamation</a></p> <br/><br/>This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit <a href="https://eroticreclamation.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1">eroticreclamation.substack.com</a>
June 24, 2026
What if There’s Nothing in You to Fix?
<p>Personal improvement is a beautiful goal, but the impulse sometimes comes from a painful place within. It might feel like "I'm broken," or "everyone else has this figured out," or "if I just learn this one more thing, I'll finally feel okay." This becomes perfectionism, people-pleasing, hypervigilance, or the exhausting cycle of self-improvement that never quite makes you feel like you’ve graduated. </p><p>In this episode, we explore how to recognize this pattern without turning it into another thing to “fix”, and what opens up next. Because once you can see the "I'm broken" story without believing it, it gets easier to share what you’re feeling with your partner. And that honesty — not performing having it all figured out, but admitting to them the real, messy weather of your inner world — is the fertile soil where real intimacy can grow. The brokenness isn't the obstacle to connection, it's the material for it.</p><p>We also get into:</p><p>- How "I'm broken" disguises itself as curiosity, growth, and generosity in bed</p><p>- The difference between moving toward something with curiosity and trying to fix what you think is wrong</p><p>- How to be aware of a painful story without believing it or fighting it</p><p>- The weather report: a practical tool for showing up honestly before intimacy</p><p>- What it looks like to truly accept what is</p><p>- Why “shared reality”, being on the same page in intimacy, matters more than shared orgasm</p><p>♥️</p><p>You can also watch this episode as a video! Find it on YouTube at <a target="_blank" href="http://www.youtube.com/@EroticReclamation">www.youtube.com/@EroticReclamation</a></p><p>♥️</p><p><strong>Chapter Timestamps</strong></p><p><strong>0:00</strong> — What we’re talking about today: When your body feels “off” and the stories start flooding in</p><p><strong>2:06</strong> — The self-improvement trap: when growth is secretly powered by "I'm not enough"</p><p><strong>5:44</strong> — How "I should be different" shows up in bed: perfectionism, people-pleasing, performance</p><p><strong>9:47</strong> — The exhaustion of always trying to “fix” yourself, and what happens when you finally stop</p><p><strong>12:19</strong> — "I'm aware that I think I'm broken": how we can create one degree of distance from our stories</p><p><strong>14:26</strong> — The part that feels broken is real, but it's not the whole of you.</p><p><strong>18:27</strong> — How trying to fix the thought loop just feeds it</p><p><strong>21:35</strong> — A tool for creating intimacy with your partner, no matter what you’re feeling: the weather report</p><p><strong>28:09</strong> — The kind of talking that generates intimacy and attraction vs. the kind generates a feeling of being roommates</p><p><strong>31:32</strong> — The three steps between “I feel off” and “I'm ready to be close to you”</p><p><strong>33:45</strong> — Key ingredient of intimate sex that so many miss: shared reality</p><p>♥️</p><p><strong>Links:</strong></p><p>Upcoming programs:<a target="_blank" href="https://www.eroticreclamation.com/"> https://www.eroticreclamation.com/</a></p><p>Instagram:<a target="_blank" href="https://www.instagram.com/erotic.reclamation/"> https://www.instagram.com/erotic.reclamation/</a></p><p>Substack:<a target="_blank" href="https://eroticreclamation.substack.com/"> https://eroticreclamation.substack.com/</a></p><p>♥️</p><p>Erotic Reclamation is where sex-positive education meets somatic, trauma-informed practice. We're Nicholette Routhier and Kari Kinkead: certified embodiment facilitators, kink priestesses, relationship coaches, and freaky guides for anyone ready to stop hiding their desire and start basking in it.</p><p>Our approach goes beyond what you’ll typically find at BDSM workshops and play parties. We focus on:</p><p>- Embodied exploration of claiming your desires, energetic eroticism, power play, conflict repair, and so much more</p><p>- Meeting shame with tenderness, while reconnecting to your body's erotic intelligence</p><p>- Trauma-informed containers that prioritize nervous system safety, transparent communication, and full-body “fuck yes” consent and boundaries</p><p>- Building a healthy, integrated relationship with your sexual cravings and sexual partners</p><p>- Finding the kind of pleasure your body and soul has been dreaming of, but wasn’t sure really existed…</p><p>Whether you're curious about how to have better intimacy, navigating a kinky awakening, or wanting to explore even wider realms of pleasure, there's a place for you here. No experience necessary, but all experience welcome. Learn more at<a target="_blank" href="http://www.eroticreclamation.com"> www.eroticreclamation.com</a>.</p><p>With love,</p><p>Kari & Nicholette</p> <br/><br/>This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit <a href="https://eroticreclamation.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1">eroticreclamation.substack.com</a>
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