Erotic Reclamation

About Erotic Reclamation

Trauma-informed erotic education centering around: Your desires are not too much. Your body is not broken. Your sex life is not doomed. eroticreclamation.substack.com (https://eroticreclamation.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast)

Publisher

Kari Kinkead & Nicholette Routhier

Category

education · health & fitness

Language

en

Explicit

Yes

First episode

7 Jan 2026

Latest episode

25 Sept 2026

Latest episodes

22 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   25 Sept 2026

   How Would You Touch Yourself If You Were Your Own Perfect Lover? — with Kendra Cunov

   When was the last time you approached your own body like your perfect lover would? Without expectation, and instead with curiosity and reverence? In this episode, we sit down with Kendra Cunov — one of our earliest and most formative teachers in sovereignty, boundaries, and embodiment — for a conversation about self-pleasure as a foundational practice, not a fallback. Because the truth is, your partnered sex life will only ever be as good as your intimate relationship with yourself. We also get into: Finding pleasure when you’re feeling numb or frustrated, by asking yourself “if I were my own perfect lover…” Meeting your changing body with curiosity to keep your erotic life alive Practicing consent with your own body: feeling for the yes before you touch How orgasm can be both a healing force and a creative one — Kendra's story of birth, postpartum, and returning to her body How to start your self-pleasure practice when you have literally no idea what you want and only have 10 minutes a day. Finally, we have a discussion about the intrinsic link between pleasure and presence. Because pleasure brings us fully, deeply into our sensory experience and the present moment. So, erotic practice is inherently a practice of presence — one that isn't limited to the bedroom. You can access it anywhere by asking yourself this simple question: What would bring me 2% more pleasure right now?" If you want to learn more about Kendra and her work, you can do so at https://kendracunov.com/ (https://kendracunov.com/) *** The Temple of Yes ~ October, 2026 Where trusting yourself creates the intimacy and aliveness you desire. The application process includes a 30 min call with Kari or Nicholette to make sure the retreat is the right fit for you, and you're the right fit for the retreat. Come ask all your questions and figure out if it's a Yes! https://www.eroticreclamation.com/temple-of-yes (https://www.eroticreclamation.com/temple-of-yes) *** Chapter Timestamps 0:00 – Meet Kendra Cunov: teacher of sovereignty, communication, and embodiment 5:35 – How erotic energy and self-pleasure have been a huge part of Kendra’s path as a mother 9:46 – Allowing yourself to be surprised by your pleasure and your body, rather than sure it (is supposed to) work a certain way 13:22 – Finding your pathway back to your body after something big has changed it — whether birth, trauma, or just time 17:01 – Why pleasure is an access point to presence (because presence is the only place the erotic actually lives) 20:19 – Meeting your changing body with curiosity is what keeps your erotic life alive 28:18 –Your sex with your partner will only ever be as good as your sex with yourself — self-pleasure is the foundation, not the consolation prize 31:16 – How to actually start a self-pleasure practice: "if I were my own perfect lover right now…?" 34:40 – How and why to practice consent with your own body, and what you discover when you slow down enough to actually feel the yes 44:38 – There are no failed experiments: how to meet yourself with curiosity when something doesn't feel good instead of deciding you did it wrong 50:35 – The pleasure question you can ask yourself: What would bring you 2% more pleasure right now? *** Podcasts to listen to next: Over 60 and More Erotic than Ever https://eroticreclamation.substack.com/p/over-50-and-more-erotic-than-ever (https://eroticreclamation.substack.com/p/over-50-and-more-erotic-than-ever) https://youtu.be/fwsW9YAsIRM (https://youtu.be/fwsW9YAsIRM) What is Energetic Sex? https://eroticreclamation.substack.com/p/what-is-energetic-sex (https://eroticreclamation.substack.com/p/what-is-energetic-sex) https://youtu.be/47XGuTUlFSk?si=rVqwdBkfwJCDcpKp (https://youtu.be/47XGuTUlFSk?si=rVqwdBkfwJCDcpKp) Foreplay and Precare https://eroticreclamation.substack.com/p/foreplay-and-precare (https://eroticreclamation.substack.com/p/foreplay-and-precare) https://youtu.be/bhqt4s9mDwE (https://youtu.be/bhqt4s9mDwE) *** Erotic Reclamation is where sex-positive education meets somatic, trauma-informed practice. We're Nicholette Routhier and Kari Kinkead: certified embodiment facilitators, kink priestesses, relationship coaches, and freaky guides for anyone ready to stop hiding their desire and start basking in it. Our approach goes beyond what you’ll typically find at sex-positive workshops and play parties. We focus on: - Embodied exploration of claiming your desires, energetic eroticism, power play, conflict repair, and so much more - Meeting shame with tenderness, while reconnecting to your body's erotic intelligence - Trauma-informed containers that prioritize nervous system safety, transparent communication, and full-body “fuck yes” consent and boundaries - Building a healthy, integrated relationship with your sexual cravings and sexual partners - Finding the kind of pleasure your body and soul has been dreaming of, but wasn’t sure really existed… Whether you're curious about how to have better intimacy, navigating a kinky awakening, or wanting to explore even wider realms of pleasure, there's a place for you here. No experience necessary, but all experience welcome. Learn more at www.eroticreclamation.com (http://www.eroticreclamation.com). With love, Kari & Nicholette This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit eroticreclamation.substack.com (https://eroticreclamation.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1)

2. 

   16 Sept 2026

   Revelations from a Masculine Erotic Reclamation with Dennis Hull

   What happens when a man who spent his whole life being the calm, steady, safe one discovers there's a part of himself he's been burying, the part that has desires, that wants to ravish, that doesn’t want to be so careful? In this episode, we sit down with Dennis Hull — former Fortune 50 corporate director, grounding and confidence coach, and tantra practitioner — to talk about the skills necessary for deep intimacy, especially from a masculine perspective: - Being able to take rejection as invitation to look in the mirror, rather than personal criticism - The important distinction between desire and expectation that holds space for possibility and mystery How some men's work teaches strategy and manipulation, rather than authenticity - What surrendering and receiving requires from someone who's wired to give and protect - The ways men judge themselves for having emotions, and how Stoicism has been misunderstood Finally, Dennis shares the moment his suppressed primal energy finally appeared after a lifetime of keeping it locked down, and the counterintuitive path he found to making his primal masculine energy more relational — through his feminine qualities. If you want to learn more about Dennis Hull and his work, you can do so here: Website: dennishull.com (http://dennishull.com) Instagram: @itsdennishull (https://www.instagram.com/itsdennishull/) Email: dennis@dennishull.com (mailto:dennis@dennishull.com) *** The Temple of Yes ~ October, 2026 Where trusting yourself creates the intimacy and aliveness you desire. The application process includes a 30 min call with Kari or Nicholette to make sure the retreat is the right fit for you, and you're the right fit for the retreat. Come ask all your questions and figure out if it's a Yes! https://www.eroticreclamation.com/temple-of-yes (https://www.eroticreclamation.com/temple-of-yes) *** Chapter Timestamps 0:00 – Meet Dennis Hull: Grounding & confidence coach, voice actor, and tantra practitioner 7:51 – Dennis’s definition of tantra: weaving. It’s about coming back to a sense of wholeness, applying spiritual consciousness to “real life” 11:25 – Relationships are mirrors, and learning to tell the difference between what's yours to own and what isn't 14:04 – Speaking a desire is one thing, but being able to actually receive it when someone says yes is a completely different skill 18:45 – Many men learn to “play the game” of seduction or polarity, when what we need to learn is how to do the dance with authenticity 23:08 – The art of being rejected: understanding it’s an opportunity to reflect, but not a verdict on your worth 27:51 – Desire and expectation are not the same thing — and expectation actually limits what's possible between two people 34:28 – Dennis's erotic reclamation: realizing that the primal, ravenous, powerful part of him wasn’t gone, just buried 42:05 – The counterintuitive path to primal masculine energy: slow down, attune more, and invest in your feminine qualities 49:45 – Sometimes a man just wants to be nurtured, and accepting these different feelings and cravings is part of the process 54:00 – "I cannot help you deal with emotions you keep judging yourself for having" — on feelings, shame, and what stoicism actually means 56:17 – Dennis reads an original poem about desire, connection, and co-creation *** Podcasts to watch next: The Bedroom is the Dojo https://eroticreclamation.substack.com/p/the-bedroom-is-the-dojo (https://eroticreclamation.substack.com/p/the-bedroom-is-the-dojo) What is Energetic Sex? https://eroticreclamation.substack.com/p/what-is-energetic-sex (https://eroticreclamation.substack.com/p/what-is-energetic-sex) The Art of Dominance https://eroticreclamation.substack.com/p/the-art-of-dominance (https://eroticreclamation.substack.com/p/the-art-of-dominance) *** Erotic Reclamation is where sex-positive education meets somatic, trauma-informed practice. We're Nicholette Routhier and Kari Kinkead: certified embodiment facilitators, kink priestesses, relationship coaches, and freaky guides for anyone ready to stop hiding their desire and start basking in it. Our approach goes beyond what you’ll typically find at sex-positive workshops and play parties. We focus on: - Embodied exploration of claiming your desires, energetic eroticism, power play, conflict repair, and so much more - Meeting shame with tenderness, while reconnecting to your body's erotic intelligence - Trauma-informed containers that prioritize nervous system safety, transparent communication, and full-body “fuck yes” consent and boundaries - Building a healthy, integrated relationship with your sexual cravings and sexual partners - Finding the kind of pleasure your body and soul has been dreaming of, but wasn’t sure really existed… Whether you're curious about how to have better intimacy, navigating a kinky awakening, or wanting to explore even wider realms of pleasure, there's a place for you here. No experience necessary, but all experience welcome. Learn more at www.eroticreclamation.com (http://www.eroticreclamation.com). With love, Kari & Nicholette This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit eroticreclamation.substack.com (https://eroticreclamation.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1)

3. 

   4 Sept 2026

   I Was So Afraid of Being Abandoned in Love That I Abandoned Myself First

   If you ever feel like you have to contort yourself, mold yourself, people-please or perform to be loved, this one is for you. When we believe love requires this of us, we get really good at compromising ourselves, our needs, our values, and our desires, while prioritizing those of others. But the more you do that, the less of you that you are revealing to your partner. So even when someone is in front of you, wanting to love you, fully choosing you, they can't actually meet you. They can't love you well, because they don’t really know you. They know some masked, performed, contorted version of you. In this solo episode, Nicholette gets honest about the pattern that shaped most of her relationships: self-abandonment disguised as love. She shares how she broke that cycle, what happened when she finally stopped filtering her desires through other people's eyes, and how meeting herself first is what made it possible to build a relationship where she's fully seen, fully known, and fully loved. *** LOVING WITHOUT LOSING YOURSELF https://www.nicholetterouthier.com/loving-without-losing-yourself (https://www.nicholetterouthier.com/loving-without-losing-yourself) If you’re ready to gain the clarity and sovereignty that will help you build the relationship of your dreams, but could use some guidance, sign up for the Loving Without Losing Yourself workshop. (It’s a virtual workshop happening live on September 13th at 11am PT, but the recording will also be available after.) In 2 hours, Nicholette will help you to turn your focus away from What are they going to do? and back toward What is true for me? Through solo journaling and embodiment practices, you’ll: - Identify what nourishes you and what drains you in relationship, sex and intimacy. - Explore what you’re consciously willing to give up, and what costs too much to compromise on.- Touch the fear, shame, anger, loneliness or hurt that can make it difficult to own what you want. - Practice claiming a desire, need or boundary for yourself without dimming it. It’s $49 per person, but you’ll find a 50% discount code at the end of the episode ;). Find all the deets here: https://www.nicholetterouthier.com/loving-without-losing-yourself (https://www.nicholetterouthier.com/loving-without-losing-yourself) *** Chapter Timestamps 0:00 – The pattern of minimizing your needs out of fear of abandonment. 1:49  – What self-abandonment looks like in relationships (because it can be subtle) 5:21 – Nicholette’s personal story: she had all the relational “skills”, but none of them were helpful because she wasn’t being honest about what she really wanted and needed. 7:14 – If you find it hard to ask for what you want, look at the feelings underneath. 11:03 – Before anyone can meet you, you have to know what "met" even means for you 12:28 – What two people can co-create when neither one is willing to disappear 14:21 – An invitation (and 50% discount!) for the Loving Without Losing Yourself virtual workshop, where you’ll be guided through the process of meeting yourself, so you can be met the way you desire. https://www.nicholetterouthier.com/loving-without-losing-yourself (https://www.nicholetterouthier.com/loving-without-losing-yourself) *** Erotic Reclamation is where sex-positive education meets somatic, trauma-informed practice. We're Nicholette Routhier and Kari Kinkead: certified embodiment facilitators, kink priestesses, relationship coaches, and freaky guides for anyone ready to stop hiding their desire and start basking in it. Our approach goes beyond what you’ll typically find at sex-positive workshops and play parties. We focus on: - Embodied exploration of claiming your desires, energetic eroticism, power play, conflict repair, and so much more - Meeting shame with tenderness, while reconnecting to your body's erotic intelligence - Trauma-informed containers that prioritize nervous system safety, transparent communication, and full-body “fuck yes” consent and boundaries - Building a healthy, integrated relationship with your sexual cravings and sexual partners - Finding the kind of pleasure your body and soul has been dreaming of, but wasn’t sure really existed… Whether you're curious about how to have better intimacy, navigating a kinky awakening, or wanting to explore even wider realms of pleasure, there's a place for you here. No experience necessary, but all experience welcome. Learn more at www.eroticreclamation.com (http://www.eroticreclamation.com). With love, Kari & Nicholette This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit eroticreclamation.substack.com (https://eroticreclamation.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1)

Reach and audience

Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.

Apple Podcasts (US)

5.0 / 5

1 ratings

Spotify

5.0 / 5

4 ratings