Four mana dorks have been cursed by fate to walk this plane until they've deciphered EVERY DAMN MAGIC CARD! Join Brandon, Meadow, Jesse and George as they invite a beloved guest to chat about their favorite Magic card, and help them reach the bottom of the library one card at a time.
It's time to gaze at those stars! The Every Damn Magic Card Mana Dorks/Sluts George, Brandon and Jesse go on a magical adventure with Meadow to talk about the Magic Card Stargaze. She gets into George and Brandon's star charts while taking the Mana Dorks on a new game show journey all related to astrology. This was such a fun episode even with Brandon having a mental breakdown from googling so poorly. A for Drift!
Scales used in this episode include:
The James Dobson Scale (how satanic is this card?)
The Vibes Scale (How are we vibin' with this card?) This card has been entered into the Stargaze club!
The DM(X) Scale (How well does this card use the X amount?)
25 Sept 2026
OMRSTPLRLCNSWMTCTHTALCNEE
Folks, we did it. It's the most silly episode of Every Damn Magic Card yet because we're talking about the unhinged Magic card "Our Market Research Shows That Players Like Really Long Card Names So We Made this Card to Have the Absolute Longest Card Name Ever Elemental" (yes, this is the actual name of the card). The mana dorks Jesse, Meadow and George had on special guest Martin Felshman to really dissect the card OMRSTPLRLCNSWMTCTHTALCNEE (for shorthand) to see what makes it tick and just what it's got swinging. Once again: this is a silly one. We're going to play Roblox with you mentally.
Scales used in this episode include:The James Dobson Scale (how satanic is this card?)
The Un-Scale (How silly is this card?)
The Johnny Scale (How many weird combos and ways can you break this card?)
11 Sept 2026
Vizzerdrix
Welcome, one and all, to our first ever after dark episode of Every Damn Magic Card because things got very sexy with our discussion of the card Vizzerdrix. We had on special guest Cameron Little with the mana dorks/sluts Meadow, Jesse and Brandon to really get into what makes this pink bunny tick with some very esoteric references to Iggy Pop. Now you're thinking with 8s!
Scales used in this episode include:
The Wood Scale (How much would you... you know ;) )
The James Dobson Scale (how satanic is this card?)
The Cowabummer Scale (How sad will it be to see this card next to a TMNT card?)
28 Aug 2026
Eight-and-a-Half-Tails
It's our eighth episode of the Every Damn Magic Card podcast so George, Jesse, Meadow and Brandon absolutely must talk about the Magic card Eight-and-a-Half-Tails. This was Brandon's first commander so the gang talks about their own first commanders as well as big, sinful dirtbikes and what job Magic characters would have inside a mall. It'll all make sense after you listen, folks!
Scales used in this episode include:
The Fallen Empires Scale (How well has a famously bad set aged?)
The James Dobson Scale (how satanic is this card?)
The Suncoast Video Aesthetic Scale (How much does this card embrace the Suncoast Video Aesthetic?)
14 Aug 2026
Arcane Bombardment
Great news: If you want your bombardments to be arcanic, this is the Every Damn Magic Card episode for YOU! Special guests and Chicago comedian Zach Boyce joins the Mana dorks/sluts George, Jesse and Brandon to talk about the Magic card Arcane Bombardment. We really get into some deep talks on role playing games, smoking out problematic children's books and supporting women's wrongs.
Scales used in this episode include:
The James Dobson Scale (how satanic is this card?)
The Cowabummer Scale (How sad will it be to see this card next to a TMNT card?)
The Kino Scale (How cinematic is this card?)
31 Jul 2026
Hide//Seek
Hey there! Vi Conraad of BaddieVilles Got Talent and Jake Avorio of being an Onion Knight join the Mana dorks/sluts George and Meadow to talk about the Magic Card Hide//Seek and let me tell you, it GETS wacky. Some fun discussions on this episode involve wet pals, pondering orbs and positive ape indexes. We also introduce the coveted golden urinal award!
Scales used in this episode include:
The James Dobson Scale (how satanic is this card?)
The Twotility scale (how good are both sides of this card for play?)
The ACAB scale (how much is this card a cop? This scored a 5 all around and has been given the golden urinal award)
17 Jul 2026
Volcanic Hammer (1999 Junior Super Series)
Mana dorks & sluts, rejoice! It’s our 5th episode and first true/official guest episode with Josh Boerman of the fantastic podcasts Worst of All Possible Worlds and Ill Conceived. We've got Jesse, George and Brandon talking about the Magic card Volcanic Hammer (specifically the 1999 junior super series) with Josh but more importantly getting into the 00’s webcomic Jack, iPod classics, catfishing in IRC and why the Ill Conceived podcast is so great!
Scales used in this episode include:
The James Dobson Scale (how satanic is this card?)
The Mid Scale (a card so mid that a 2.5 is a perfect rating)
The umami scale (how flavorful is the flavor text?)
3 Jul 2026
Doran, the Siege Tower
Welcome, brave travelers, to our 4th episode of Every Damn Magic Card! We're getting into some poplar trees you know and love as we're talking about Doran, the Siege Tower from the original Lorwyn set. Some fun highlights include the beauty of flavor text, Snickers vein discussion and dealing with the fact that we all got wet bones inside of us.
Scales used in this episode include:
The James Dobson Scale (how satanic is this card?)
The commander Scale (would you build a deck with this commander?)
The phallic scale (how phallic is this card?): this card got all 5s and has been entered into the hallowed halls of the gold card for being so veiny
19 Jun 2026
Nethroi, Apex of Death
Behold, the rule of 3s, as in our third episode of Every Damn Magic Card and our first legendary creature card! The mana dorks Jesse, George, and Meadow have on their second circling guest Brandon to dish on Nethroi, Apex of Death. We go down quite a few fun paths that include generative AI removing object permanence in adults, unfortunate release schedules, and a whole lotta Dennis Hopper talk.
Scales used in this episode include:
The ambiguity scale (yes, that's it Ten of them! All at once?)
The commander Scale (would you build a deck with this commander?)
The James Dobson Scale (how satanic is this card?) and our first card to get a perfect score on the scale!
5 Jun 2026
Land Grant
Our second episode is here with the mana dorks Jesse, Brandon, and Meadow inviting on their super secret special guest George to talk about the Magic card Land Grant This episode includes deep discussions on Jim Henson's Dinosaurs, Smoku, and, of course, an intense Chicago pizza style debate. You've got vore!
Scales used in this episode include:
The James B. Dobson scale (how satanic is this card?)
The Cowabummer Scale (How sad will it be to see this card next to a TMNT card?)
The Kino Scale (How cinematic is this card?)
Also the first card to be considered for the Golden Rings (perfect 5s across the board)
Smoku!
Email us some of your most wild magic stories to everydamnmagiccard@gmail.com!
22 May 2026
Circling Vultures
It's our inaugural episode for Every Damn Magic and the mana dorks Jesse, George and Brandon welcome on special guest and future host Meadow to talk about some birds that don't just want to go into your trash; they literally can't be stopped! Our first card we're covering is Circling Vultures so we spend some time talking about our first magic experiences, Charles Daniel Rombert, and some funny/sad bird stories. You've got vore!
Scales used in this episode include:
The James B. Dobson scale (how satanic is this card?)
The Kino Scale (How cinematic is this card?)
The Cowabummer Scale (How sad will it be to see this card next to a TMNT card?)
Email us some of your most wild magic stories to everydamnmagiccard@gmail.com!
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2 ratings
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