Exploring the lifelong journey of adult development through the lens of psychology's most influential developmental theories.
Evolving Beings
Claim This Podcastby Deborah Lara
5.0(4 reviews)
4 episodes
Updated Daily
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Podcast Overview
Exploring the lifelong journey of adult development through the lens of psychology's most influential developmental theories.
Language
🇺🇲
Publishing Since
8/23/2021
1 verified contact email on file for Evolving Beings
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Recent Episodes
April 21, 2026
Self-Abandonment: What It Is, Why You Do It, How to Heal
<p>Reclaim Yourself and Heal Self-Abandonment Workshop: https://stan.store/deborahlara/p/healingselfabandonmentIndividualized </p><p><br></p><p>Consultations With Deborah: https://www.deborahlara.com/consultations</p><p><br></p><p>In this episode, I break down what self-abandonment actually is, where it comes from, how it repeats in our adult relationships and work lives, and what healing actually requires. </p><p><br></p><p>Chapters: </p><p><br></p><p>0:00 — Introduction & Definition</p><p>2:30 — How the Pattern Gets Created</p><p>3:10 — Disconnection From Your Inner Life</p><p>4:42 — The Importance of the Holding Environment</p><p>5:57 — Why The Pattern Was Once Adaptive</p><p>6:43 — Adaptive Functioning: Self-Preservation Becomes Self-Destruction</p><p>7:02 — The Inner Feminine Archetypal Energy and Why It Gets Repressed</p><p>8:38 — Why This is Developmental, Not a Fixed Pathology</p><p>9:59 — The Different Holding Environments That Reinforce the Pattern</p><p>12:22 — Repetition Compulsion: How We Recreate the Wound</p><p>14:30 — The Healing Fantasy: The False Hope of Healing</p><p>17:04 — Overfunctioning and Emotional Labor</p><p>18:19 — Emotional and Spiritual Hunger</p><p>19:34 — The Correlation with Physical Illness</p><p>20:04 — The Healing Process</p><p>21:10 — Nervous System Reconditioning</p><p>21:43 — Reclaiming the Disowned Feminine</p><p>22:48 — Reparenting and Building an Internal Secure Base</p><p>23:21 — Upgrading the Inner Masculine</p><p>25:07 — Imagining a Healed Version of Yourself</p><p>26:18 — How Internal Healing Reflects Externally</p><p>27:18 — Closing</p>
February 6, 2026
What Is Self-Differentiation?
<p>Self-Differentiation Explained: The Key to Emotional Maturity and Healthy Relationships</p><p><br></p><p>What is self-differentiation and why does it matter for your relationships and mental health? Ever wonder why you lose yourself in relationships or become emotionally reactive under stress?</p><p><br></p><p>In this episode, marriage and family therapist Deborah breaks down Murray Bowen's concept of self-differentiation or the ability to maintain your sense of self while staying connected to others.</p><p><br></p><p>Learn about the two dimensions of differentiation: intrapsychic and interpersonal. </p><p>Discover where you fall on the differentiation scale from 0-100.</p><p><br></p><p>Understand the difference between your solid self and pseudo self, and find out how increasing your self-differentiation can transform your relationships, emotional regulation, and decision-making.</p><p><br></p><p>Topics covered:</p><p><br></p><ul><li>What is self-differentiation in psychology?</li><li>Emotional maturity vs. relational maturity.</li><li>Signs of low differentiation vs. high differentiation.</li><li>Emotional reactivity in relationships.</li><li>Building a solid sense of self.</li><li>Self-soothing and emotional regulation.</li><li>Maintaining sense of self in intimate relationships.</li><li>Murray Bowen family systems theory.</li></ul><p><br></p><p>Want to learn what your level of differentiation is and get a personalized roadmap for growth? Get the self-assessment I created for you here: <a href="https://www.deborahlara.com/differentiationassessment">https://www.deborahlara.com/differentiationassessment</a></p>
January 5, 2026
How Enmeshment Leads to Anxious and Avoidant Attachment Patterns in Intimate Relationships
<p>In this episode of Evolving Beings, we explore the deep psychological link between childhood enmeshment, differentiation, and insecure attachment styles in adult relationships.</p><p><br></p><p>I break down how growing up without healthy emotional boundaries creates a lack of differentiation — the ability to stay connected to yourself while remaining connected to others — and how this imbalance leads to anxious and avoidant attachment patterns later in life.</p><p><br></p><p>You’ll learn:</p><p><br></p><ol><li>Why secure attachment is rooted in differentiation.</li><li> How anxious and avoidant attachment function as coping strategies for the same psychological imbalance.</li><li> Why anxious and avoidant partners are often magnetically drawn to each other.</li><li>How mother–son enmeshment commonly leads men to develop avoidant attachment.</li><li> Why partners of mother-enmeshed men often become exhausted, overfunctioning, and self-sacrificing.</li><li> What healing actually requires for both anxious and avoidant partners.</li></ol><p><br></p><p>We’ll also explore why the anxiously attached partner is often the one who initiates healing and how differentiation can either inspire the avoidant partner to grow or clarify the need to move toward more secure and reciprocal love.</p><p><br></p><p>Whether your partner grows with you or not, this episode emphasizes the most important work: </p><p><br></p><p>Rebuilding your relationship with yourself, cultivating psychological balance, and preparing for mature, emotionally available love.</p><p><br></p><p>In upcoming episodes, we’ll go deeper into what differentiation looks like in practice and how to begin rebuilding a secure attachment from the inside out.</p>
4 total episodes available
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Frequently asked questions
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- What is Evolving Beings?
- How often does this podcast release new episodes?
This podcast updates daily.
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