Existential Tetherball

About Existential Tetherball

Existential Tetherball invites complex thinkers and sensitive souls to explore nuance, meaning, and the wonder of the embodied subjective. Dynamic guests join dynamic hosts, Rachel Fell and Gordon Smith, for fun, deep, and provocative existential play. Each episode begins with an idea, a phrase, or even just a single word – our tether. Together, we explore the worlds within these words and ideas; the connections, associations, and meaning-making made meaningful by lived experience and co-creativity.

Publisher

Rachel Fell & Gordon Smith

Category

education · society & culture

Language

en

Explicit

Yes

First episode

30 Jan 2026

Latest episode

29 Sept 2026

Latest episodes

12 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   29 Sept 2026

   Ep. 11 - Liminal, Liminality

   Hi everyone – it's been a minute! Gordon's just returned from a extended romp about Europe, while Rachel was back in her beloved Alaska for a quick solo trip. Subsequently, all's been quiet on the Tetherball front, but we're back with this episode – a fun and... liminal frolic all about _liminality_ (!!!) As always, we explore the word as a world and the world(s) contained within the word – liminal as in-between, transitional, moving, barely perceptible (aka, not stark) and, well... sort of guaze-y. The jam explores liminality both externally and internally (meaning within unique individuated perception), personal experiences of each, and how these liminal places and space-times can foster self-awareness and agency. (Not to be glossed over: addressing the discomfort/uncertainty that often accompanies change!) Keywords/themes/ideas: Consious awareness, emotional awareness, choice, judgement/synthesis, and the complexities of navigating liminal spaces and places in personal growth and evolution. Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Liminality, Exploring Definitions and Experiences 06:06 The Relationship Between Liminality and Awareness 08:58 Navigating Change and Uncertainty 12:03 The Dynamics of Internal and External Liminality 15:07 Agency in Liminal Spaces 17:47 Transitioning Between Eras 21:10 The Generative Work of Inner Exploration 23:52 Emotional Awareness and Movement 27:57 Embodied Emotional Awareness 30:52 Navigating Internal Dissonance 34:10 The Nature of Liminal Experiences 39:14 Agency in Unchosen Change 42:55 Finding Agency in Uncertainty 46:31 The Relationship with Judgment

2. 

   14 Jul 2026

   Ep.10 - Process/In Formation

   We're at ten episodes! Double digits, folks! Wild. This go-round, Gordon and Rachel explore process and information – not as a noun, but as a verb ("in formation"). Together, they delve into the meaning and movement/workings of process and what it means to be process-oriented. Process is synthesis, is cascade, is reciprocal influnce influencing... what, exactly? Together, R & G explore the process of how things take form, shape, and come to mean something, and how process relates to our understanding of what it is to be human. Covered: self-perception and self as process, the role of the sensing body, developing witnessing mechanics and capacities that deepen our relationship with "in formation." Stick with us - while this stuff can be squishy, it's absolutely fascinating and perhaps foundational to our phenomenology and experience of being alive and relating - intrapersonally, and interpersonally. Also explored: the interplay between information, perception, and the understanding of self (they emphasize the importance of cultivating a conscious and neutral awareness of one's own experiences and responses, and why this matters). Diving deep into choice and attention and intention, courage and fear, self-awareness what that really means. Gordon shares, a story of developing more embodied awareness of witness via process-oriented art therapy, and Rachel shares an experience of walking herself through a panic attack. They round it out with another why - the importance of developing meta awareness and embodied cognition as essential as we navigate an increasingly fracturing reality. Somewhere in there, Rachel introduces her triadic consciousness model, and Gordon is intrigued. Another Chris Farley SNL reference shows up along the way as well. Takeaways Information as "in formation," as a process and a verb Humans as complex processors, body-minds working with infromation and in formation all the time Metacognition redefined as meta awareness - YES Cultivating conscious awareness and why it matters The significance of developing meta awareness and navigating a fracturing reality Chapters 00:00 Engaging with "In Formation" 02:55 The Meaning of Process 06:53 Process Orientation and Self-Perception 10:00 Sensing Body and Perception 15:01 Witnessing and Neutrality 19:59 Metacognition and Natural Intelligence 28:45 Exploring Metacognition & Meta Awareness 29:19 Embodied Semantics and Depth Meaning 30:19 Relationality and Sensing Body 31:33 Internal and External Relating 32:30 Choice and Intention 33:11 Courage and Fear 33:54 Self-Awareness and Witnessing 42:26 Story Time: Process-Oriented Art Therapy, Metawareness and a Panic Attack 57:56 Triadic Consciousness

3. 

   23 Jun 2026

   Ep. 9 - Levity

   Levity - jokes, fart noises, inappropriate humor, the policing of behavior, relatability, naturally opposing forces, the imbuing of lightness... This episode's got a lot going on (as always seems to be the case, tbh). In this episode, Rachel & Gordon jam on levity - what it is (defined - present day usage, etymological deep dive) as well as what it means and evokes for them personally. They touch on present day usage, connotation, and inferred shared meaning around social convention and humor, but then dive into the physiology and physics of levity - an opposing force to gravity, natural intelligence finding ways to lightne, imbue lightness. Etymologically speaking, levitate shows up - to rise in by virtue of lightness) and Rachel likens levity to... baking soda? But for real, what is levity and how does it work? Together, Gordon and Rachel explore tricker and comedic applications, but go beyond to touch into "shining a light on" and "creating space" as well as "speaking truth" as forms of levity. They also get curious: what does levity do in any given situation, relationship? Gordon gets an idea about giving away whopee cushions at his funeral. (It's brilliant.) In a word rife with polarity, how does a force like levity influence the gravity and seriousness of our curerent context? What does levity have to do with the nervous system, with space, with play, and neuroplasticity? Tune in for another fun and "the good kind of meandering" exploration and find out!

4. 

   2 Jun 2026

   Ep. 8 - Multiplicity and Coherence

   We're back! In Episode 8, G and R jam on "Multiplicity and Coherence." Covered: We start with "multiplicity" - exploration of meaning, many Michael Keatons; also: visualizing atomic and cellular multiplicity and coherence We then move to "coherence" - an exploration of meaning (external and internal), key themes: connection and "co"herence (in contrast to "adherence); "nonduel" and "nondual" Ways of observing, assessing, measuring, recognizing coherence Unifying themes here (also, the core functions?) of observation and perspective (see also: quantum physics and the power, influence of witness) Wait, there's more! What about the relationship between individuated forms and the elasticity of forms? What about the relationship between coherence and uncertainty tolerance? Metaperspectives on multiplicity and coherence as process! Jamming on unique frameworks, hyperstructures of meaning, containers, therapeutic models, and symbols The role of the observer in understanding and integrating various aspects of the self (self-coherence/identity) The coherence between somatic and intellectual intelligences... how we connect with each, know where we are, and tune in more holistically... And still, even more! Zooming in and zooming out - an important skill to develop Consideration of the various relationship between individual and collective humanity - "stigmergy" and calling back to our episode with Bee Mayhew (Ep. 2) The slow existential and spending time in definition, meaning = important (that's why this podcast exists, lol) Coherence as process and part of larger process(es) - fractal connection, anyone? The dynamic nature of identity and change Coherence as fine grained felt sense AND alignment with choice, intention, self-determinism...

5. 

   27 May 2026

   Ep. 7 - Intelligence

   Today, on EPISODE SEVEN of Existential Tetherball, Rachel and Gordon explore intelligence. They jam on definitions/meanings/assumptions of (and around intelligence), the nature of intelligence and new ways of understanding, new models for engaging with intelligence, notions of participation and stewardship of intelligence, and the significance of neurodiversity and the sensing body. intelligence is the living application of knowledge and learning. How do we cultivate a relationship with lifelong learning? What are we learning in the service of? Even more! The impact of conditioning and trauma on how we sense, think, problem solve and create, the embodiment of cognition and neurodiversity, an off-road but important exploration of fate, free will, and choice, the relationship between intelligence, oppression, and neurodiversity, and the reconfiguration of a healthier paradigm. It emphasizes the need to break free from hierarchical supremacy and embrace neurodiversity as an extension of biodiversity. Takeaways Exploration of intelligence – incomplete maps at best, partial and erroneous ones at worst (the ironly! not logical!) Stewardship of intelligence involving attention, intention, and learning Neurodiversity anchors in a triadic model, acknowledging interconnectedness and distinct experiences The limitations of IQ tests in measuring intelligence; measuring versus contextualizing and orienting (neurodiversity in systemic ecological design) "Intelligence" etymology = "discernment, choice"; the role of intelligence in being influence, influencing and discernment Chapters 00:00 Definition and Meaning of Intelligence; Needs Update 10:56 Stewardship of Intelligence 18:46 Neurodiversity and Embodied Intelligence 27:34 The Impact of Conditioning and Trauma Schema on Sensing and Perception 37:29 Fate, Free Will, and Choice 49:27 Reconfiguring Our Relationship with Intelligence - Personal, Collective

6. 

   14 Apr 2026

   Welcome to Existential Tetherball!

   Hello there! Welcome to Existential Tetherball – a podcast designed to explore depth meaning in the service of stronger connections. In this intro, your hosts, Rachel Fell and Gordon Smith, share a bit about the what and the why behind this new series, touching on themes of curiosity, untapped relationship with meaning, co-creativity, openness, the pragmatism of shared exploration, and the possibilities generated through existential exploration. Both Rachel and Gordon are professional neurodivergent coaches/guides committed to creating a refuge and playspace for neurodivergent, existentially-minded people seeking resonance, inspiration, and community. Existential Tetherball guests and listeners are intense, complex, and sensitive people who prefer curiosity to conclusions and the well-worn of convention.

7. 

   12 Apr 2026

   Ep. 6 - Synchronicity (Karin Eglinton)

   We're elated to have Karin Eglinton (karineglinton.com (http://karineglinton.com)) join us for this episode (six!) of Existential Tetherball. Our tether this go around: SYNCHRONICITY // Karin Eglinton – a psychic reader, energy healer, astrologer, spirit worker, and psycho-spiritual coach and mentor – joins Gordon Smith and Rachel Fell to explore synchronicity and meaning. Karin begins by sharing a definition from Jeffrey Kripal, in Authors of the Impossible: "Jung’s category of synchronicity, for example, is all about what we could easily and accurately call meaning events, that is, a moment in space and time where and when the physical world becomes a text to be read out and interpreted, where and when the event is structured not by causal networks of matter but by symbolic references producing meaning." Karen sees synchronicity/meaningful coincidence as a collection of phenomena that connect the inner and the outer world in the sense of "meaning events" above. Some are "signs from the Universe", messages from deceased loved ones, from Spirit Guides, or moments of increased coherence with Self and Life. Other times they're flashes of precognition or spontaneous psychic perception. Together in Episode 6, Rachel, Gordon, and Karin co-explore: -Definition/s of synchronicity -Making meaning of meaningful events; inner proessing, translation, art of noticing/listening, somatic awareness, etc. -Reciprocity and interplay of inner/outer worlds, influenced and influencing, participatory nature of being -The intention and art/practice of living a synchronisitic life (personal stories of synchronicities shared as well!) -Trauma, ownership/attribution, nervous system, maps of meaning and psychic signals -The science behind psychic phenomeonon -Yes, more! (Rachel tries to ask Karin a question that comes out like a charctuterie board at once point) This episode will resonate with those who've experienced/are interested in "the little hop," deja vu, somatic resonance, symbology, communication, human intelligence and communication with a living universe. Thanks so much again for joining us, Karin!

8. 

   24 Mar 2026

   Ep. 5 - Pilgrimage (BK)

   Hi friends! In episode five, Gordon & Rachel welcome their friend BK. The conversation explores the concept of pilgrimage as a transformative journey. Together, the group dives into the meaning of pilgrimage by exploring and sharing experiences, learnings, and the archetypes associated with pilgrimage. Also discussed: the distinction between structured/un and intentional/un pilgrimages, the sacredness of pilgrimage and the meaning of sacred. Through storytelling, BK, Gordon, and Rachel also touch on the call and magnestism of pilgrimage as well as pilgrimage as a form of ritual, containment, and integration. In short, you can expect delightful stories, curiosity, and a wonderful group jam sesh highlighting the profound impact of pilgrimage on personal growth and transformation. Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Pilgrimage 12:06 Archetypes of Pilgrimage 18:01 Structured, Unstructured, Intentional, Unintentional Pilgrimages 26:02 Personal Pilgrimage Experiences 35:04 Pilgrimage as Rituation and Containment 42:09 Growth and New Abilities 52:07 The Pilgrim's Journey

9. 

   17 Feb 2026

   Ep. 4 - Story (Laura Hope-Gill)

   Episode FOUR - can you believe it? (We can't.) This episode focuses on story, narrative, and "awen" (the flow of creative inspiration), featuring Laura Hope-Gill (https://laurahopegill.com/ (https://laurahopegill.com/)). (FYI: Laura and Gordon both live in Asheville and have collaborated on a number of interesting creative projects.) Together, Laura, Gordon, and Rachel jump into the wilderness of meaning related to story: living reality as a living story, and the transformative power of narrative and storytelling. As they journey together, they touch on "awen" (defined as creative flow, of Gaelic/Celtic orgins) and its significance in shaping our experiences of the inner world and of story. As they continue, the conversation explores sovereignty in one's relationship with story and the internalized narrator's identity and role in storytelling. Little hops abound as we explore the dynamics and complexities of self and narrative/narration and "the inner narrator/s," (as well as TBI experiences, and the mysteries of 'The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald'). Laura shares pandemic project related to enlightment and notes that "achieving enlightment" as patriarchal and Rachel goes on to get ealthy individuation and the inner wilds, and the little hop and narrative medicine. Themes of narrative medicine, creative-imaginational intelligence, information and "exformation," as well as the inner wilds and the existential vagus nerve round out their collaborative jam. Takeaways Stories as indicative of our relationship with our inner worlds, inner wilds Living reality as story, story as living reality Who's narrating? (Control, meta-identity, inclusion, and flow) The transformative power of storytelling Narrative Medicine and creative intelligence The "Little Hop" Chapters 00:00 Story: Wavelengths & Channels 19:07 Awen: The Creative Flow 30:03 Sovereignty in Relationship with Story 36:19 Encountering the Inner Narrator 46:25 The Little Hop and Narrative Medicine

10. 

    10 Feb 2026

    Ep. 3 - Humanity (Bee Mayhew)

    Our THIRD episode of Existential Tetherball is our FIRST episode with a guest! We're so stoked to have Bee Mayhew (https://missnomer.substack.com/ (https://missnomer.substack.com/)) join us on an expansive co-exploration of "humanity." To start, we dive into foundational definitions of humanity, taking the time to parse subject from judgment/imbued definitions of value. Bee also tells us a really funny story about getting hit in the face with a tetherball when she was a kid. Rachel, Bee, and Gordon go on to discuss: sense of self, meta-identity of self and self as interrelatedness, as well as interrelateness beyond the "individual" – humanity as a collective of humans, humaning (in what context/s)? From there, Bee introduces concepts of ecology and stigmergy, nodding to bees and ants and their intelligent collective coordination. The triad riffs. From there, it gets weirder (and more awesome?) as Rachel applies the idea of stigmergy to the ecosystemic self (and through time). Gordon then goes on to connect this idea to the internalized collective unconscious. We all take a breath and laugh about how to spell "metric shitton." (Shitonne?) And there's more: dynamic living systems, stewardship of aliveness, and core values as human yet unique in their meaning and context – pragmatic to explore together, no? ::winkyfaceemoji:: Allegiance to aliveness, stigmergy (collective coordination), and community emerge as key takeaways. The conversation delves into the concept of ethical social intelligence and its impact on humanity, exploring healthy individuation and the reimagining of societal systems through a paradigm that honors the influenced-influencing process. The conversation concludes with a focus on giving a shit, self-attunement, reciprocity, and connections as essential elements of a thriving society. Takeaways Fundamental Question: Who are We? Morality and Collective Self Concept Allegiance to Aliveness Stigmergy and Collective Coordination Ethical Social Intelligence Healthy Individuation for Healthy Collective (nod to Neurodiversity) Chapters 00:00 Interrelatedness and Self-Understanding 19:03 The Internal Collective Unconscious and Dynamic Systems 24:16 Stewardship of Aliveness and Core Values 29:25 Ethical Social Intelligence 40:08 Reimagining Societal Systems 51:45 Community Resilience and Reciprocity The video Bee mentions in this episode: https://substack.com/@sequencebycosmos/note/c-197456719?r=4n4qq (https://substack.com/@sequencebycosmos/note/c-197456719?r=4n4qq)

11. 

    4 Feb 2026

    Ep 2. - Exploring Existential

    Episode 2! In this episode, Gordon and Rachel dive into the squish and form that is the subject matter of this entire series – EXISTENTIAL. (So this episode is entirely meta-existential, tbh). They start at the intersections of neurodiversity/neurodivergence and existential, exploring the relationship between academic philosophers, embodied subjective experiences, and fundamental questions of existence. They also dive into frameworks of intelligence and living processing (meaning-making), touching on the relationship between direct experience, symbolism and language, and structure/certainty. Along the way, they drive by and nod to uncertainty, safety, and identity, as well as expectations of others related to questioning and existential inquiry. That's not all, though! They talk about existential health and the importance of auto-exploration of meaning, developing awareness practices, uncertainty tolerance, and the exploration of one's own "emotional interface." Bringing up the end of the convo is a jam on co-creating mutual understanding as necessary skillset, and the invitation to explore meaning via regular "existential hygine" for better relationships – self with self and self with others. (Just a few) takeaways Neurodiversity paradigm and neurodivergence in relationship to existential intelligence and healthy The embodied subjective experience The exploration of existential questions as a fundamental aspect of the human experience Existential hygiene is the process of updating the operating system and its contents Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Neurodiversity and Existentialism 07:02 Exploring Meaning and Subjectivity 15:04 Fundamental Questions of Existence 22:48 Uncertainty, Safety, and Identity 51:02 Existential Hygiene

12. 

    30 Jan 2026

    Ep. 1 - Neurodiversity & Neurodivergence

    In this, our very first full episode of EXISTENTIAL TETHERBALL, Gordon and Rachel explore the concepts of neurodiversity and neurodivergence. They explore neurodiversity as a biological truism, a philosophy, a methodology, and a lens through which to understand human intelligence and unseen diversity. Together, they explore a living, full-body definition of intelligence, and speak to the importance of contextualizing neurodivergence through the neurodiversity paradigm. Exploring simultaneous sameness, difference, and distinction at the meta level, they offer a practical way to go beyond dualisitic and power over ways of seeing, understanding, relating with ourselves and each other. Rachel and Gordon also explore going beyond reductionism: – the medical model in relationship to the neurodiversity paradigm, self-acceptance and liberation at the identity and relational levels, the lived experience of neurodivergent people, inner and outer authority, and healthy individuation for a healthy ecology. Takeaways Neurodiversity as a philosophy and methodology Full-body intelligence Living definition of intelligence Neurodivergence as a living expression of uncommon human processing and intelligence The liberation offered by the neurodiversity paradigm Gordon and Rachel are pretty awesome

Reach and audience

Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.

Apple Podcasts (US)

5.0 / 5

3 ratings

Spotify

5.0 / 5

5 ratings