What this is Jane Gardner and welcome to finding your purpose . This is a channel that you can come and explore whether or not you found your purpose, what is your purpose andother things with us including entrepreneurship. We have a variety of shows on this channel and finding your purpose and I want to show you here what the mission is for finding your purpose. We are on a mission to spotlight purpose driven entrepreneurs to bring awareness to how being aware of your purpose can bring you more success as an entrepreneur and in your life. We are on a mission to bring awareness that self-awareness of yourself and your personality plays a role in your relationship with others as well we will be discussing and celebrating success of entrepreneurial businesses. Then ,of course, we will be on a mission to celebrate the leaders who lead in these businesses and how their personality is part of the success. As well, we will be looking at leaders in our community to see how being purpose driven has helped them in their success. We are going to be bringing awareness that knowing your values will make you intentional in your life. Make sure that your relationships in communications are more successful when you're aware of your own personality and how it affects others. We are going to be celebrating how different our personalities are and what some of the reasons behind the differences. As well, we will be celebrating the introversion extroversion difference and blow the definition out of the common vocabulary so that we can celebrate the uniqueness of everyone instead of introvert and extrovert being a negative. How being intentional and how that leads to success in your business. We will be exploring these and many other topics in the search for finding your purpose. So, if you'd like to be spotlighted on finding your purpose and talk about your success in finding your purpose then go to http://jgtips.com/spotlight enter your contact information to have an interview and we will be talking to you later. So there that's what the mission, the purpose of finding your purpose is and I hope that you continue to come and have a look at the new episodes as we go along and feel free to submit your information for an interview so we'll be talking about finding your purpose that's led to your success and I'm your host Jane Gardner and I hope you continue to enjoy these episodes thank you .
Finding Your Purpose
Claim This Podcastby Jane Gardner
Podcast Overview
What this is Jane Gardner and welcome to finding your purpose . This is a channel that you can come and explore whether or not you found your purpose, what is your purpose andother things with us including entrepreneurship. We have a variety of shows on this channel and finding your purpose and I want to show you here what the mission is for finding your purpose. We are on a mission to spotlight purpose driven entrepreneurs to bring awareness to how being aware of your purpose can bring you more success as an entrepreneur and in your life. We are on a mission to bring awareness that self-awareness of yourself and your personality plays a role in your relationship with others as well we will be discussing and celebrating success of entrepreneurial businesses. Then ,of course, we will be on a mission to celebrate the leaders who lead in these businesses and how their personality is part of the success. As well, we will be looking at leaders in our community to see how being purpose driven has helped them in their success. We are going to be bringing awareness that knowing your values will make you intentional in your life. Make sure that your relationships in communications are more successful when you're aware of your own personality and how it affects others. We are going to be celebrating how different our personalities are and what some of the reasons behind the differences. As well, we will be celebrating the introversion extroversion difference and blow the definition out of the common vocabulary so that we can celebrate the uniqueness of everyone instead of introvert and extrovert being a negative. How being intentional and how that leads to success in your business. We will be exploring these and many other topics in the search for finding your purpose. So, if you'd like to be spotlighted on finding your purpose and talk about your success in finding your purpose then go to http://jgtips.com/spotlight enter your contact information to have an interview and we will be talking to you later. So there that's what the mission, the purpose of finding your purpose is and I hope that you continue to come and have a look at the new episodes as we go along and feel free to submit your information for an interview so we'll be talking about finding your purpose that's led to your success and I'm your host Jane Gardner and I hope you continue to enjoy these episodes thank you .
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July 18, 2022
Andy McDowell of GenerateYour Value on Spotlight
Welcome, everybody. This is Jane Gardner at Finding your Purpose TV. And today on our show, we have Andy McDowell. Andy is an engineer, so I have something in common with him. We know all about the same challenges of being engineers and being a technician, but he's also creative. So this is surprising because I know many engineers and they're not creative, so I'm going to be looking into that, really and he spent 22 years with the Boeing Company, where he always felt more like a life coach than an engineer and a boss. In 2002, he began his journey into entrepreneurship within a corporation when he was asked to develop an Aerospace design consulting business from scratch, wow, that would be hard, that would serve the global government market. Andy has a bachelor's degree from Georgia Tech in electrical engineering and a Master's degree in computer information systems from Georgia State. Naturally, his aviation work took him around the world and enabled him to work on many high profile projects like the Beijing and Sochi airports for their respective Olympic Games. So we're really excited to talk to Andy about basically his purpose and his journey from getting from where he was to where he is now. So, first of all, I better welcome you. Hi. Hi, Jane. Hi. Great to be with you today. Andy, maybe you could tell us. I'm really excited to find out how an engineer can become into the business that you're in. It sounds like your business actually did help you with Finding Your Other purpose. So my husband, he's never really a true engineer, but right now he has to work in engineering. So it's really exciting to see how you manage the journey. Just maybe I can help him get into his retirement. So Andy, please. How did you manage that? So I always had a love for airplanes, built the plastic models as a kid, was fascinated with the fact that such a heavy piece of metal could stay up in the air from that perspective. So I had the opportunity to coming out of grad school and got into a couple of companies that were aviation based, and the last one being that the United States largest exporter, dollar wise company called Boeing. True joy and passion in my life came to be, to be able to work for a company so involved in the aviation community however, it had little to do with electrical engineering. So everything that I learned how to do with airspace design, simulation, modeling, the work that we did was all on the job training, using my technical computer skills at first to help the smaller entrepreneurial company that I work for become digitized and help reduce their expenses by 75% in their delivery time to customers from about two weeks to a couple of days from that perspective. But it was along the journey, 22 years for the Boeing Company, come to find out about the part of the work that I did as I moved up the leadership chain that I enjoyed the most was the engagement with my team members and helping them to grow as individuals as well as growing their position in their careers giving me the most satisfaction and what got me out of the bed every morning regardless of where I was in the world. Because I was spending close to half of the year outside the office and somewhere in the world helping the government bring GPS technology into their flight and ground operations was what we were basically doing, trying to help them be more efficient in their operations using the GPS technology. Wow. Yeah. That's really important. Yeah. That's very exciting that you work for the Beijing and Olympics and everything like that. It must have been high pressure, but you like working with your team members instead of the high pressure. I'm sure. Yeah. So how did you evolve into another business? Obviously, there were certain changes in your position, but maybe you could tell us that. How did you get into coaching? Well, my goal, a career with the Boeing Company was to work for them for about 30 years, I made it to 22 when I, along with thousands of other employees, were laid off because of the Boeing 737 Max crisis, right, that the company went through. So my goal was shortened by eight years. So I decided, instead of doing what originally playing part time, to fully engage with it full time and follow my true joys and passions, as opposed to getting back into the corporate world or the aviation world, I thought I could make a more lasting impact on people's lives doing that, as opposed to sticking to aviation. Right. Yeah. So you did it part time while you were working in aviation, or you felt that working with your team was really a lot like coaching? In a way, because you have to make sure they're all working and doing what they need to do. So you just sort of started in life coaching? Well, I just took the philosophy and mindset, let me take a step back, I feel like there's a lot about life that overlaps business. And so I developed some methodologies in my head about how to approach the whole conversation with either my teammates that I was leading and directing, or others within the company that sought me out as a mentor. I had some comments made by people about how good I was at doing it, and even had one gentleman say, why are you still here? You're so good at this, why don't you leave the Boeing Company and go do this full time? And I said, Well, I still have some things I want to try and push and accomplish within the company that still haven't been realized yet. So I'd stick around and try and get those accomplished before I go out and do this full time. But a different decision was made for me? Yes. That was the same decision on why we went into our home office, our own business too. We had no plans back in 20 years ago. You're actually a business focus coach. And what's the connection between when you're working with a client, finding their purpose and their business? Because I feel that you're always happiest when you have your purpose business rather than purposeful business rather than just picking what's the hottest new subject sort of thing. So how do you approach that kind of idea with your client? Well, my ultimate goal is for business owners to live a life of joy, happiness and success and your chance of achieving that is at its greatest when you're in a business that you have a love and a passion for, right, and a sense of purpose in it. So that's where I usually like to start the conversation somewhat centered around with, okay, why are you in this business? Oh, good. Do I get an answer that's more like, well, this particular industry seems to be very profitable and growing and so forth and so on where they're sort of looking outside themselves and what the market is doing versus any kind of introspection and thought and mindset behind it to say, No, this is what I really enjoy doing and Yes, I want to make some money and be successful at it but that's secondary to my joy and happiness in life. Right. Oh, wow. Yeah. Because what would be the process? Do you decide at some point, oh, it looks like they're okay when you're working with them, it looks like this is going to be the direction that will work for them and it's purposeful and might make them happy or does it take like two or three sessions? How do you do that? Do you have exercises? Sorry, I mean, I don't do it myself, so I'm always interested to find out how you're able to help them define how happy they are going to be in their business, sort of thing. I generally like to start with them in a workshop that I offer that's based on the Do Have model. So society in Hollywood likes to sell the model of Do Have Be. I go do these things in the world that's going to go make a lot of money, and then I get to have these things in my life between homes and cars and airplanes and villas and so forth and so on and then that enables me to be a certain way in the world. But research has shown that the true path to joy and happiness in the world is to do it in a Be, to have that's good timeline, so to speak, where you discover who you are and the being part how are you going to be in this world? In a workshop, they have to do some homework ahead of time to get some feedback from people that they trust in their life. Right. And so we do that exercise to discover who they are in this world and then, okay, what do you want to do that aligns with your being in this world? And we take those inputs and then we start putting in a methodology I developed that's based off of the business strategy that enables you to develop a life strategy for yourself. And then once we have your life strategy, we can start working on the business. The pieces around your business plan and those things to make sure that the work you're doing is going to make you successful in business. But Be is aligned with who you are in this world so that you can maximize the potential of achieving joy and happiness and success in your life. Wow, that's really exciting. I didn't know that you could actually do that because I always, so that's really interesting, because that's why I do this show, to find out the different ways that people find their purpose and that's really a good sort of driven way and focused way in finding your purpose. Because I mean, a lot of people wander in terms of finding what they're happiest at. It's great for people that likes a lot of structure in their life or need some kind of path or plan to focus on, to get themselves where they are. If you're a fly by night kind of person that seems overly burdensome and we try to tone it down to a certain degree to sort of help you out and give you more guideposts or swim lanes, so to speak, as opposed to a real hard life strategy plan. But at least something that you can do some focusing on to get yourself to where you want to be. Oh, wow, that's great. That's very exciting. Do you run this on is this just as part of your system or is this a workshop that you run every four months of pandemic? You don't do it? Yeah, at the moment I do it sort of on an on demand basis. I like to keep the numbers small so I can give personalized attention as the workshop is a little bit of instruction and then a lot of working by the participants, thinking about things and reading the inputs they got from other people and putting some thought to it. And I can go from person to person and provide some guidance as they're going through their thoughts and so forth. If I got a dozen people in the room, it's difficult to do that. Yeah, for sure, and with a pandemic, we're not doing too much of that now. True. Let's go through your whole process then. Once you put together their business plan and then you follow through with them as they go along in their adventure or is that where you just sort of monitor. Yeah, it just depends on what the client wants. Some people feel like, no, I got it, I just needed something to work off of, and I've got it and they might ring me up once a year or something and have a conversation on a particular issue. Or I have a Mastermind like, group that they can join where we meet once a month for half a day and be a member of that where they're getting monthly feedback from not only myself, but the other participants in the group as they're going along, working on their business plan and their business. Oh, wow. It just depends on how much guidance or how much hand holding, so to speak, do they want? Yeah, Mastermind would be great for anyone, for sure. So let's talk about your creativity and how you feel that developed your business and your purpose, because engineers are not known for being creative, usually. Were you creative before you became an engineer? That's sort of my husband, really, in a way, he's an engineer. He sort of went into engineering because he loved math. I don't know. How did it happen for you? And creativity The beginnings of it started in my personal life and with my hobbies. So, as a teenager, I begged and begged my parents to let me get a camera, and they hopped on a train, I grew up in northern New Jersey and they hopped on a train one day we went into New York City to one of the big camera stores where you can get the best prices. And they bought me a camera and a couple of lenses and so forth, and ultimately became the sports photographer for the high school yearbook and newspaper, as well as the local paper. Developed my own black and white film and prints and so forth, taught myself how to do all that. And that's where my creative journey started. I'm still an avid photographer today. Oh, good. Working on my craft throughout the years and then as a young adult, I got encouraged by my wife at the time to get involved in choir at a church. Next thing I knew, within about six months of starting out, I was up in front of the congregation singing the solo from a major church piece and the name escapes me at the moment from that particular point. So music. I became very active in music from a young adult on. And then five years, six years ago, I went and bought a guitar and started teaching myself how to play guitar, now a rhythm guitarist and singer in the praise band at my church. So I always see creativity as a muscle that we're all born with. I get a little bit wrapped around the axle, so when somebody tells you, they're not a creative person, I'd like to push back and go, no, you just don't practice creativity. It's a journey and it's a muscle that you got to keep exercising. You just need to find something that's creative that you enjoy doing from that perspective. And I found myself going through my career that my strengths were in strategy and with strategy, you've got to have some visionary skills. You got to be creative in nature, the ability to think out of the box, per se, and look at possible different avenues for your business that might bring you some success. And so I think doing all the photography and music pieces on the personal side to keep my creative muscles per se going helped and enabled my career on the strategy side. Oh, wow. Yeah. We could wander off on creativity as well because I'm an artist, but we won't do that because we're talking about business. Business is creative. So I can certainly agree you can put that into your business strategies as well. But one of the topics that you want to talk about was intentional living. And I think that's very exciting because I feel that's also one of the important things to do in your life. And so I'd like you to talk about that as well, please. Yeah. How do you feel that intentional is better than random living? Well, the example I like to use in my coaching when it comes to intentionality is the imagery of you being in a life raft or a rubber boat or something of that nature that doesn't have an engine on it. You might have ,at best, have a couple of paddles in it, and you're sitting out in the ocean somewhere. And if you're not living your life with intentionality, then the ocean is just pushing you around. You're just sort of going with the flow and sort of letting life happen to you and sort of hope for the best kind of attitude, so to speak. Versus, if you're living with intentionality and you're being introspective and thinking about what you want out of your life and how am I going to set a path, so to speak, to achieve that? For myself, it's more like you're in a sailboat or a motor boat with a rudder on it that enables you to get yourself to the port of call that you want for your life. And you may think one port of call is your spot at the moment, but then as you're on your journey in your motorboat or sailboat to that, you might learn some things or have some second thoughts or see other people doing something that changes your mind and so now you want to go to a different port of call. Well, you just take your rudder and adjust your heading and start moving in that direction. So eventually you get to the port of call that you're trying to achieve. But it's very difficult to do that in a river boat with a couple of paddles getting pushed around by the wind and the ocean. Right. Oh, wow. That's the kind of analogy I like to throw on the table when I talk to people about living an intentional life. I'm also interested in that and self awareness, especially that's in one way, why I do Finding Your Purpose, being intentional is so important that it took me a few years. So you're being intentional can take some time and I'm glad you have that analogy of going from one port to the next like you can change your intention. You don't have to always be having the same intention. Yeah. I developed a life plan for myself, I don't know, dozen years ago and I revisit it. I take time between Christmas and New Year's every year and review it and see if I want to make any adjustments or so forth based off of life circumstances or something I learned about myself or about the world or something of that nature that makes me want to tweak certain things within the life plan. So by doing that, I'm slightly changing the port of call. Great analogy. I love that. So I thought maybe we would have a look at your information on the screen so people can take notes and maybe you could talk about what your free consultation may be and what it is sort of like, the schedule for that, or not the schedule, but what do you guys chat about on your free consultation? That kind of thing would be great. Andy. Sure. So my company name is Generate Your Value, and my contact information is at the bottom of the card to include my website, which is the best way to find out about me and get a hold of me is through email. What I offer potential clients is a free consultation at the beginning. If you're in town here in Atlanta, where I'm from, I'll meet up for a cup of coffee, and if not, via zoom call or phone call. But in that first hour spending time with you I like to just get to know who you are and start discovering, peeling onions back, onion layers back ,so to speak, about where you think your joys and happiness is in your life and a little bit about your history. Who you are as a person, what you want different about your life, kinds of things, to try and gather enough information to decide whether I'd be a good fit for you. I'm not going to be a good fit for everybody. Right. And be, what might be a good strategy or path forward in terms of my services to generate value in your life, which is where I named my company. Yeah, right. But I did. Can we have a brief chat about your podcast? I'm sorry, I didn't know about it. Otherwise we'll put it up on the end card. So you have a podcast that you do? I have a podcast. We generally release episodes every Tuesday afternoon. It's called Generate Your Value. It's available on all the major podcast platforms. You can also get to it on my website. I have a co- host, Zach Levy, who's in the financial services business. So I have a business coach with a business owner, we are a couple of weeks away from finishing up season number two. We're going to take a break July and August to get ourselves ready for season three, which will start shortly after Labor Day in September and we talk about all things relative to life, leadership and small business trying to illustrate why we feel there's a huge overlap between life and business. Develop an intentional life like we talked about and be introspective and take some of the tools of life, then you can easily translate them, it takes a little bit of translation, it's not a one to one, but translate it, into being a very effective leader in your business, whether you're a solo entrepreneur or have a team of people that you're leading to do it in a way that you get high levels of engagement from your team and be successful in your business. Yeah, that's so important, Andy, especially for the future now with the challenges that we're going to have to have a successful team and that's great that you guys talk about that on your podcast as well. Of course. Probably ,you probably go into a business, if they're having issues they want to talk about. I assume that's also one of your service, you're not just looking at individuals, I would assume. Maybe I'm assuming wrong. Well, our first season was a lot of conversation about concepts and a lot of it was just Zac and myself, having conversations on particular topics. But in season two, we started bringing in folks for interviews and I really like to talk about and fascinated with people's stories as entrepreneurs. And so I like to try and highlight stories to be inspirational for people to say, it may seem to be scary, but in the end you've got resources out there to, include somebody like myself, that can help you along the journey. What it's really about is your mindset and your grit and tenacity and ability to get after it are key ingredients that will ,a lot of times, not all the time, but a lot of times overcome the challenges you face along the journey. Yeah, I totally agree. Perseverance is one of these really important things for entrepreneurs. Yes, for sure. Well, Andy, I think I'll let you go now because it sounds like you have a very busy, busy life, what with the podcast and everything and obviously you can be a guest if anyone is interested or wants to talk to you. I'll put the end card up at the end, but do you want to just mention that you're traveling podcasting or whatever we call it? What is that? Interview Tour. We'll be here. I put this up for years, but I'm sure you'll be available for anyone to be interviewed at any time. Yeah. If you're an entrepreneur and you feel like you have an entrepreneurial story or journey, you feel like it could be inspirational to others or instructional or some kind of nature, I'd love to hear from you. Just reach out to me at my email address, and we'll see if we can get you on in season three. Our seasons run September through June season, right? Yeah. No, I'm sure you've got season three planned, and I'm sure you'd be welcome to talk to any entrepreneur, I meant yourself. If anyone's interested in interviewing you on their podcast, you're obviously always available. No, I'm always available. If you feel like my entrepreneurial story or what I talked about in my podcast or my expertise can add value to your listening audience, I'd love to have a conversation with you about coming onto your podcast and see if our conversation, I like to call them golden Nuggets, lay some golden nuggets on the table for people to help them out in life, leadership, or in business. Yeah, for sure. Right now, as an artist, I'm thinking I'm going to have to draw a boat going on, but I won't steal that analogy. I will use it, but I won't. If people are interested in my photography, I'm out on Instagram at Airspace Dude. Airspace Dude. I got to write that. It's also my Twitter handle. If you're on Twitter, want to engage with me, please do. Yes. I've looked at all of you, had a lot of connections, so that's great. Yeah. Very exciting. Thank you so much. Thank you so much, Andy, for coming on to the show and we're hoping to get this up really soon, and certainly it will be there for the summer. So hopefully you'll get some more entrepreneurs contacting you once I put up the end card again. And thank you very much, Andy. Thank you very much for the invite, Jane, and for the conversation. Yes, I'm a little jealous, particularly this time of year that you're out in Vancouver and I'm here in Atlanta because I've had the luxury of going to your city a number of times in my business career, and I absolutely love it. It's one of my favorites in the world. Yeah, we're very excited. We're going up on the Alaska cruise this September. so beautiful in September here, so you come on up. I'm trying. Alaska Cruise is on my list. The greatest one is through the Georgia Strait. Awesome. Anyway, yeah. Particularly as a photographer, I'm just dying to get up there. That would be great. I'd like to thank Andy McDowell for being on the show, and if you would like to have a free consultation with Andy about your business, you can go to Generateyourvalue.com or contact by email at andy @ generateyour value.com in order to have a chat about your business. So thank you very much.
April 4, 2022
Michelle M Castelli on Growing your Relationships
Hello, everybody. This is Jane Gardner of Finding Your Purpose TV. And today we're talking to Michelle Castelli. Would you like the M Michelle or for official. You can put the M in . That's great. Yeah, we're talking to Michelle Castelli So let's talk to her. She's a wife and mother of three adult children and one adorable Beagle. Don't get me started. I love dogs. Oh, sorry. She is an author, speaker, and relationship coach. She helps men and women grow stronger, healthier relationships in these keys areas of their life journey, dating, marriage, and self and spiritual. Her professional background includes relationship work, counseling individuals, couples and families in both mental health and Ministry. She is a licensed social worker and a certified relationship coach and spiritual director. You'll have to tell me about that, Michelle, because I'm not sure what that is. And she loves helping others grow stronger, healthier relationships because an unhealthy relationship with self or partner affects all of your other relationships. You are so right, Michelle. So Michelle. And we've already got a couple of questions now. So let's say hello to you, Michelle, and thank you for coming by. Thank you. Thank you for inviting me. I appreciate it. And welcome to everyone watching. Yeah, Michelle. So tell me, just because you got me curious, a spiritual director, is that a pastor or what is this? No, I worked in Ministry settings at one point and received my certification in spiritual direction to work with people who were struggling with some spiritual issues. Okay, great. So, Michelle, I'd like to find out how you found yourself here with this business. Actually, it's growing your relationships. Is that in the name of your business? You haven't got that in your bio? Actually, my business is actually my name, but the growing your relationship is the tagline. Yeah, but I like the growing your relationships. So how did you get to where you are now, Michelle? Yes, I spent over 20 years as a therapist working with people, individuals, couples, families. I then went back to school for a theology degree so that I could also do it in Ministry settings. So I've got a long history of working with various kinds of relationship issues. My whole background has been about relationships, what people are getting stuck on in their relationships, what blocks they're experiencing and I'm now doing relationship coaching online. This gives me an opportunity to reach more people and also works with my schedule as well. Oh, wow. So tell me, Michelle, before we start getting any deeper into this, how does doing relationship coaching on the Internet work for you in terms of do you have the couple to come together or on your broadcast? Yeah, I start off with phone calls so people have maximum privacy because some people aren't very comfortable with a Zoom call for something as private as a relationship. So I start up with phone calls first and an opportunity to see if it's a fit, because that's why I do discovery calls opportunity for people to talk and make sure it's a good fit between them and I for moving forward and where they are in their relationships. So that's very important because people start at different places with different issues. Yeah. We'll be talking about the various relationships that you can help with. But what we wanted to first talk about is what do we bring of ourselves to our relationships and maybe how that affects our relationships. That would be great, Michelle. Exactly. I take a very holistic approach to relationships because if you're experiencing stress in one particular relationship, say it's a friendship or it's a marriage, if that's causing you a sense of unbalance or you're not feeling like you're being understood or you're losing that sense of connection in the relationship, or you're experiencing anxiety around the conflicts that are taking place, you then carry those emotional pains into your other relationships. So that may spill over into what you're happening at work or it may happen in your brain. That pain and that stress to your family members and friends. So I start off with a holistic approach that helping one relationship issue that you might be experiencing will help the other relationships as well because you're bringing yourself into each of these relationships. So when you have pain, emotional pain, you're bringing it into the other relationships. So I start there with letting people know it's a holistic approach now knowing what you bring to your relationships. I always start off when I work with people as helping them to identify what they bring of themselves because oftentimes people are in relationships and they are not fully aware of what in fact, they're bringing to the relationship. They might be focusing on what their partners bringing in, their friends bringing in, but not so much awareness of what they bring in. So what I mean by that is I look at a variety of different things with them. We go through looking at what their definition is of a good relationship because that varies from person to person. And you need to find out what is their definition. So that we're working on the same page from the beginning of what they identify as a good relationship. Wow. Yeah. Because there can be different definitions. It's not as general as you think. There's people coming in, and their definition of a good relationship includes X, Y, and Z, and you'll talk to someone else and their definition of a good relationship is totally different and that gives you a good starting point to know where they're coming from, what language they're using around the word relationship. Wow. That is something I never even thought of. What do you think is a good relationship? That is such a loaded question. We are married, obviously, and we've never discussed that idea. We just sort of got married. So that's a great idea to start with what they expect of a marriage, that's for sure. Even actually, I guess you also do work relationships and any kind of relationships. Yeah, because the other areas that I'll look at when I'm meeting with someone is also identifying their authentic self. Because people sometimes come into relationships with various masks. They'll hide parts of themselves that they're not fully sharing with friends or family members or a spouse and so their authenticity is not there. And you really can't have a healthy relationship if you're not authentic to yourself. You're not fully aware of what you believe, what you value, what your motivations are. Digging deep into who you are and your authentic self is the first step that I do when I work with people, because that gets the relationship on a healthy basis by knowing your authentic self and that will bring in a whole bunch of things. Like, for example, we look at values. What are your values in a relationship? What are you bringing to the relationship with your set of values and your beliefs? What do you believe ethically or morally or spiritually? Because you're bringing that whether you're aware of it or not, you're bringing that into your relationships, and that affects your relationships. Also, what motivations do you have for getting into this relationship? Were you entering this particular relationship for love, for networking, for companionship, or maybe something else? So I want to dig deep into when I'm talking again about bringing what you bring of yourself to your relationships, we dig deep. What are you bringing? What's your attitude, your values? What are your motivations for this particular relationship? And then also taking a good look at what is your ability to communicate effectively? Are you at a point in your skills and your abilities where you can give fully of yourself to others when you communicate? Or do you hold back? Do you say what you mean when you communicate? Or are friends and partners confused by what you say because you send mixed messages and you're not as clear as you think, so those are very important. Another is also looking at your ability to handle conflict resolution. Are you somebody who avoids conflicts? Are you someone who likes to directly confront them as soon as they happen? Or is it something else? And again, it's that self awareness, digging deep to learn about your particular relationship style, because the more you're aware of your own style, the better you'll be at being more effective in your relationships. Because you're sharing your true self, you're sharing who you really are and you're aware and you're in touch with who you really are. Wow. Also your ability to nurture a relationship. How well can you express gratitude or make affirmations to the people that you're in a relationship with? How much is your ability to share love? And again, for each person, this is different. When you're in relationships and we experience problems, we often point our finger to the other person, whether it's a friend, a coworker, a spouse, a dating partner. Oh, they're the ones that make me feel this way. I'm angry because they're doing this in the relationship instead of stepping back and saying, well, wait a minute, what have I been bringing to my relationships? What are my relationship patterns of how I interact because that affects their response. So often we're quick to go right to the response of someone else as to why we're feeling the way we are instead of stepping back and saying, well, they have that response because of what we're bringing as well. So it's two way, and it's very important to touch base with that. Wow. Yeah, I totally agree. Unfortunately, I think I have a lot of those patterns that you shouldn't be doing. But we worked on our 40 year marriage, I guess we call it so that we finally know when to step back or when to confront and when to discuss and all that kind of thing. And sometimes we don't. I think it would have been very useful to have someone like you just go through it with us just before you get married or into a relationship because we're all different and it's quite a challenge. It's certainly in marriage. This is actually interesting for dating. Have you had any discussions with people about dating? Dating is a big one. A lot of my work has been around dating issues, people coming in and with commitment issues on both sides. Those wanting commitment and those that come in are not wanting commitment, and they're experiencing problems because their partner wants it and they don't. So it goes on both directions. And again, we dig deep as to what's shaping that for you. What's driving that viewpoint that you have about commitment? Because you have that viewpoint for a reason and digging and looking at that to help people make a decision of how committed they want to be in that particular dating relationship and also finding a mate. A lot of people want to know, especially in this day and age, how can I find someone a mate that I can trust, someone who's genuine and helping them go through looking at what you expect in a relationship and how you can go about putting yourself out there to find the mate that's compatible for you. Oh, wow. Yeah. I can see that would be very important these days. So you're almost a matchmaker, but you're not a matchmaker. You want them to make sure that they're okay before they get involved. Absolutely. And if you're already at the point where you're dating, we can work with it in terms of the relationship of where you're at with right now. Yeah, that's true. Especially like having a two year relationship and they're not willing to commit. I can see that being very important. It's a big difference. Yeah. And my own personal experiences help lead me to this we each have our own personal experiences, but I myself was in a longterm relationship where an engagement ended up being broken and the pain around that. So that helps me on a personal level, too, to understand what people go through when you've gone through it yourself, when you've experienced that and you know what people are dealing with? Oh, for sure. Yeah. It's definitely this is sort of like we come from it from different angles. But this is why I'm doing Finding Your Purpose TV, because people have to be more self aware of who they are and this is so exciting that you do this. Are you just doing this through your knowledge and figuring out people's patterns just by speaking to them? That's just totally amazing. The next part of it, after you get that self awareness and we help you to look at what you're bringing to the relationship is going on to what you want in the relationship partner. What are your expectations of the relationship and what are you expecting now, now that you know more about yourself, what are you expecting of your partner? Because that varies, too, from people. When they get into relationships, they have different expectations of what they want of that person, whether it's a friendship, a spouse or dating partner. They come in with ideas of what they expect in that relationship and how open are you to looking at what your expectations are and how much do you communicate your expectations to those partners that you're with because they may not even have a clue as to what your expectations are because you're not sharing it. So, go through, looking at how well are you communicating that upfront, looking at your boundary issues, such as how often you want to get together with this particular person, whether it's a friend or dating partner, what do you want this relationship to be exclusive or not? What form of commitment are you asking for in this particular relationship so that the expectations are there? And then finally, also, what is your awareness and level of compatibility with this person? Again, this is true for whether it's a friend, a coworker, dating partner, you want to know, do we have shared values or beliefs or interests enough to build a foundation for this relationship to continue because oftentimes people will get into relationships they're not, sometimes, not even sure why they have struck up this particular friendship. And then halfway through, they're questioning or a dating partner and they're questioning, why did I get into this relationship? Was that due to loneliness? Is there real compatibility between us, or am I filling that loneliness gap and we have no compatibility? But I'm just sort of coasting along, getting together with this person to fill that loneliness need because that does occur. Right. And I think I want to go somewhere that I think it seems to be relevant is leaders. It seems to me that in business, you would also be useful in an environment where they're having issues with relationships between the employers and the leader and everything. Would you say that that's a fair comment in terms of relationships? Because underlying each of our relationships, regardless of the setting, whether it's a work setting, a home setting, there's still those basic communications that you need to have. That basic ability to nurture, the basic ability to handle conflicts are across all your relationships. That's the commonality between all of your relationships is that these are some basic skills that we sometimes take for granted, but they're essential to how well our relationships get healthy and people run into problems when these particular areas are not being addressed, when they're not being nurtured and you end up with some big problems. Yeah, there's a lot of big problems these days. I was just wondering about your podcast and what is your angle? Tell us about your podcast and what's your angle. Is it all you do. You interview obviously not your clients because of privacy issues. But right now my podcast started out with me giving tips and tools, and we'll be moving into interviews with others. But we want to lay the foundation in the beginning once I'm now at episode 34 and each of them is about eight to ten minutes long with a relationship focus, tip or tool in a variety of different areas. So, people can go to my website and take a look at all the different areas. We've looked at everything from what you bring to relationships to looking at issues that people have around commitment. There's multiple episodes there, and then we'll be moving into interviews and anyone who wants to share a story on the podcast, I invite them to go to my website and you can leave your name on the contact sheet because I would love to hear your relationship stories or your questions as well. Oh, wow. Yeah, that's a definite possibility. Certainly there's not as many people in business who work together and also live together, like my husband and I. But it's certainly an issue relationship affecting your business. That's one we could talk about with you but you don't want to know some of the stories. But we've been doing it for 22 years and we haven't. Anyway, I don't think we mentioned the name of your podcast. Is it growing? Really? Yeah, it's growing your relationships and then with Michelle M Castelli. Oh, okay. So we've got that and your name. Yeah. You can access the podcast right through my website. If you go to the website that will give you the address at the end of this, you can access all of the episodes are there on the website, as well. Okay. So is it on itunes or? No, it's on Spotify and Apple and a couple of others as well. But that's what I thought. It's on a few. So in case they're searching there. Yes, absolutely. Yeah. Now I'm going to talk to you about your book, because I got information about your book, and it was very interesting what you've done with your book. And I think it would be a good starting place for a lot of people if they're having issues with the relationships. I thought, anyway, do you want to mention the title and everything in your thesis? Yes. This particular book, A Heart for God, is for those that when they're looking at their relationships, want to also go to get more of a spiritual connection. So for those of you that really would like to look at your relationship through the lens of spirituality, the book of Heart for God focuses on that, focuses on our relationship with God, how God can help our relationships. But again, that's for people who are interested in going if they want to go in that direction, in the spiritual direction, that's there as well. But that's part of what I do. Right. But we also look at relationships for people who don't always go that route as well. Yeah. But I believe it's not just individual relationships or you mentioned something. I think you mentioned business or marriage or something and your relationship with God, like you mentioned that it's all related to God. It's all related, right? Yes. It has a spiritual focus on how spirituality affects our relationship with God, can affect our relationships, all kinds of relationships. Yeah. So that's a start for everybody, I think. Or even it might even be deeper, isn't it spiritually? Now, you've got a very intriguing sentence here. Sorry. How to read a relationship to know if it's genuine. That's an interesting idea. Love to hear about it. Yeah. Again, when people come in and I visit with them, a lot of times it's around authenticity. They're wondering whether a partner is being authentic in the relationship. But I always start with first with them themselves, whether they're authentic. And a lot of times people automatically say, well, yes, of course I'm authentic. And then when you dig deeper, you find out that there's lots of parts of themselves that they're holding back, even from friends they've known for a long time or spouses that they've been with for years, they're holding back parts of themselves. And so we dig at that to say, where are you holding back? Why are you holding that back? And how does that affect your relationship? Because you can't come to authenticity until you start looking at what parts of yourself you might be holding back. So that's the first step to authenticity and how to read a relationship around authenticity. Yeah. So you just work with them. Of course, you can't really read the other person, although you probably can because you have enough experience in your history to know what type of person that other person might be. But you don't judge, obviously, because you're right. Yeah. Again, this is all about self awareness, because when we say being able to read a relationship, what we're saying is you can read and understand the connection of another individual because you first are aware of yourself, of what you're bringing to the relationship. That helps you get the ability to read your relationship because you're knowing what yourself and what you're bringing. So that's. Sympathetic with me, but in a different way. So let's have a look at some of your information so that they can find you. Obviously, the podcast we've spoken about growing your relationships with Michelle M. Castelli. What else would you like to talk about? Well, I'd like your audience to know that I am offering as a giveaway to all of you for listening, a gift of a 30 minutes coaching session and there's no cost to that. People are dealing with a lot, especially during the pandemic, and they want to talk about what's happening with them and their relationships and you can go to my website and click on the Learn about Services tab on the website. And that will take you to a booking on the calendar of an appointment where it's totally complimentary. And I give that as a gift to you. So I hope you take advantage of that gift because it's an opportunity for you to have a way to look at your relationships. And your book is available on your website. My book is available on my website. It's like a one stop place in the website. Yes. You can click right on the book. It takes you right to Amazon from the website. Okay. So it's on Amazon if they want to search. Yeah. And of course, your website is again. My website is Https://Michellemcastelli.com. Right. Everything's there, everything's there, which I appreciate. I just like to tell you the last thing I'd like to share is I operate from a model that I developed called the growth model. And each letter stands for something and I'll just run through it. This is awesome. Yeah. The G in growth stands for how we gain awareness of ourself and our relationship, what our relationship goal is. We identify that in the beginning and we talked about helping you develop awareness of yourself and how you relate. The R in the growth is recognizing the blocks that you have that are preventing your goal in your relationship. And we go through and look at what's blocking you from achieving a healthier relationship. The O is openness, your willingness to remove the blocks, getting around the mindset of being open to transformation, the W and Growth is working. The action steps that we developed together to help you get towards your goal. The T is the transformation process and the H is your healthier relationship. So we walk you through this growth model. Yeah. You got a model. That's awesome. Yeah. I didn't know. Sorry. No problem. I'm sharing it now. Yeah. I love models because you need models to get your direction. I just want to say Michelle, to me, what I'm thinking is that your services are really needed in this time, and it would be great if also the internet and everyone knew that you were here to help because we all need that, don't we? And I know it can be very scary and difficult when you're first meeting someone to know whether or not you can trust them, to share your information or to talk about something as personal as a relationship. But I hope that you'll feel comfortable to try the 30 minutes session because your comfort level, your desire for a healthy relationship is most important, and I want you to feel comfortable. But the reason I mentioned that is because we know someone who got a divorce during the pandemic, basically because they were shut down and couldn't do what they do, which is the love of dancing. They did competition, dancing together, and obviously with the lockdown, they realized everything else came up. So I think your service would be very valuable at this time for a lot of people as they get back to work and get going on life because people don't have to struggle dealing with issues alone. It's painful enough to have a relationship issue, but then to have to struggle with it alone without the opportunity to have any kind of help just compounds the pain and the confusion for individuals. We all need an opportunity to talk to someone that knows relationships, that knows how to handle healthy and unhealthy relationships, someone trained, a professional who can help guide you through it and that's why I'm offering the complimentary gift, because it's very much needed, especially during this pandemic. Yeah, that's for sure. Yeah. Well, thank you, Michelle. This has been great. Thank you. Love to meet people who are sympathetic when it comes to making everyone self aware about their passion, their purpose, and obviously their relationships. This has been great, Michelle, and I just wanted to thank you for coming on my show. Thank you, Jane. And thank you to all of you who are listening. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you, Michelle. Any last minute tips? Yeah, I think my last line I'd like to leave with you is if you're feeling down that some relationship you're experiencing is not healthy, I just want you to be reassured that you can have a healthier relationship. You don't have to stay in an unhealthy situation, and we can help you. Oh, awesome. Thank you, Michelle. So thank you, everybody, for listening and yeah, see you later. Thank you. I'd like to thank Michelle M. Castelli for coming on to the show today. And if you want to find out any more information on growing your relationships, Then you can go to our website, https://michellmcastelli.com. So, thank you for listening. And this is Jane Gardner of Finding Your purpose.
February 14, 2022
20221 Dorothyann O'Dell of Unstoppable Overcomers on finding her purpose
<p>Welcome, everybody. This is Jane Gardner, and welcome to Finding Your Purpose TV. I’m Jane Gardner. And welcome. We’re so excited today because we have another Purposeful Entrepreneur today and we’re going to be chatting with her about how she found her purpose. Her name is Dorothy Anne O’Dell, and she was born and raised in Ontario, Canada. So we have a lot in common because we’re both Canadians. We talk a lot about that right now. And she’s turned her love of books into her next career writing them and she loves to help people succeed in life. And when she’s not writing or reading, she’s helping her community. And actually remind me, Dorothy, we have to talk about your charity concept at the end. So I’ll write a note for that because it’s a really exciting one. And she’s also a life coach and speaker. And her life’s purpose is to make sure that people feel that they feel worthy and that they don’t feel unworthy. She believes every life matters and has dedicated herself to helping others overcome their own obstacles and learn to feel empowered to move forward in their life. And, Dorothy, we’re going to be talking a lot.</p> <p>Let’s get ready. So, Dorothy, tell me, how did your purpose in life make you become the entrepreneur you are now? Welcome.</p> <p>Thank you. Thanks for having me, Jane. It’s been an absolute pleasure getting to know you. I guess my purpose all started at the beginning of The Pandemic, and I’ve always loved helping people growing up and things like that. But I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to do that. And I wrote my first book, The Overcomer, facing challenges with faith and courage because I knew that I had a lot of challenges that I had overcome in my life, like bullying, low self esteem, abusive relationships, and family trauma. And I knew that I wasn’t the only one out there. And I also knew that in those moments when you’re going through those times that it is very challenging and that you feel very alone and sometimes you feel like you don’t matter. So I decided that my purpose was to make sure that people knew that they were heard that they mattered and that they never had to feel alone. So that’s when I came up with my purpose at the beginning of The Pandemic, wrote the book in no time at all and had it out for the world to see January of this year. And it’s been an exciting adventure. And I thought, why stop there? Help people overcome their obstacles, coach them on how to have fun, how to have some what’s the word? I’m looking for time to themselves and just really selfcare. Selfcare was key. It’s something that I never had growing up or I never took the time. Didn’t think about it. We weren’t educated in school, and I had a grandmother that said, you need to take care of your man. And it’s basically selfish to take care of you. And she’s old school and love her to death, but I didn’t know any better. So I was always giving, giving until I hit a wall. And my dad was diagnosed with cancer for the first time two and a half years ago, I met a counselor at the cancer clinic in here at Windsor. And the first question she asked me was, what about yourself? Care? And I said, there is none. I don’t have time for that. I’m planning a wedding. My dad just got cancer. Just that got diagnosed and work was insane at the time. So there was no time for me. And that’s when she said, well, you better make a time because if not, you’re going to crash and you’re going to burn hard and she was right. And I decided to put some tools into place to bring the fun back into my life because growing up there was fun and things like that. But there was also a lot of times where it was like I would call it adult times, I guess, where a lot of the time that was taken up was worried about parents that were sick, things like that. And it was a serious time. I took life way too serious, I guess, is the proper word I should use. And so growing up way too serious and being helping around the house my entire life. And I didn’t really have a lot of friends growing up. It’s funny because I talked about that this morning in a conversation with somebody else. And it was a lonely time. And I thought I hit my forties and I’m like, fun is it? And that’s been my word for the last five years. And for my I think it was my 43rd birthday. My husband says, what do you want? And I said, I just want a family balloon fight. Family is everything to me. And what better way. My birthday is in July. So it’s not like it’s cold months. So I said, that’s what we’re going to do. And everybody was receptive. We had my husband’s family over and we had a barbecue. We had a water balloon fight. And he just had some amazing fun.</p>
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