You gave everything. They still left. You don't know why. You call it high standards. Independence. Being the strong one. Underneath is an abandonment wound teaching you love is earned. Found at 17 helps women break the relationship patterns rooted in abandonment wounds — perfectionism, people-pleasing, hyper-independence, and anxious attachment — that keep repeating in their romantic lives. New episodes every Tuesday.
Publisher
Rosanna | Abandonment Wounds & Relationship Coach
Why You Keep Second-Guessing Yourself (and How to Trust Your Own Decisions)
What if you actually know what you want—you just don’t trust yourself enough to choose it?
In this episode of Found at 17, I’m talking about something I didn’t fully recognize until I looked back at the decisions that shaped my life: how much time I spent second-guessing myself and looking for someone else to confirm that what I wanted was okay.
I stayed in an unhappy marriage about five and a half years longer than I should have partly because I couldn’t bear the thought of hearing four words: “We told you so.”
I passed on things I wanted because someone else questioned whether I knew what I was doing. I overthought decisions, looked for approval, and confused asking for advice with asking for permission.
And here's what I eventually had to learn: making a wrong decision doesn't mean you can't be trusted with your own life.
We talk about why rebellion isn't always freedom, what happens when you've spent years questioning your own judgment, and why trusting yourself doesn't mean believing you'll always get it right. It means knowing you can handle it when you don't.
I also talk about the place where I still struggle with this most—motherhood—and why understanding where our patterns come from doesn't mean we've conquered them.
If you've ever thought, I know what I want, so why can't I just make the decision? this episode is for you.
And I’ll leave you with one question:
What would you choose if you didn't have to explain your decision to anybody?
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30 Sept 2026
How Can They Not Know Why You Left? | Family Estrangement, Boundaries & Guilt
In this episode of Found at 17, we talk about the particular pain of distancing yourself from someone who seems completely oblivious to why you've done it—and how that can make you question your own judgment, your memories, and even your sanity.
This can be especially complicated with family estrangement. When you've spent your life hearing that family is family, creating distance can bring an enormous amount of guilt. You may wonder if you're being selfish, unforgiving, dramatic, or simply a bad daughter, son, sister, brother, or parent.
But here's the thing:
Their understanding is not a prerequisite for your boundary.
You don't need someone to agree with your experience before you're allowed to change the relationship.
You don't need to prove that they're a terrible person.
You don't need everyone else to understand.
And you don't necessarily need to cut someone off completely, either. Sometimes estrangement is quiet. Sometimes you're still answering the phone, still showing up for holidays, or still saying happy birthday—but the relationship has fundamentally changed.
The harder question becomes: Are you still trying to get them to understand because you need their acknowledgment before you can trust yourself?
Maybe you've explained yourself enough.
Maybe the person who needs to understand now is you.
If you've ever found yourself thinking, I've told you a million times. How can you possibly not know why I've pulled away?—this episode is for you.
Listen to Found at 17:
Apple Podcasts (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/found-at-17/id1893791096?utm_source=chatgpt.com)
Spotify (https://open.spotify.com/show/4eBLOSxvR2AUF3jPrN8CDw?utm_source=chatgpt.com)
More from Found at 17:
Found at 17 on Linktree (https://linktr.ee/unfinishedrewrite?utm_source=chatgpt.com)
Book a conversation with Rosanna:
Book with Rosanna (https://tidycal.com/foundat17?utm_source=chatgpt.com)
Found at 17 — The podcast for everyone who was left without an explanation | Where we stop running and start healing.
23 Sept 2026
Self-Abandonment: Why You Ignore What You Already Know
Have you ever known something was wrong but kept talking yourself out of it?
You knew the relationship wasn't what you wanted. You knew you were unhappy. You knew you needed help. You knew you were living according to someone else's expectations—but somehow, you kept going.
That's self-abandonment.
In this episode of Found at 17, Rosanna talks about what happens when you already know the truth but aren't ready to deal with what that truth might require from you. Sometimes we're not actually confused. We're afraid of what we'll have to change, who we'll disappoint, or what other people will think.
Rosanna shares a deeply personal story about standing at a fork in the road two weeks before her wedding, knowing something she wasn't yet ready to fully hear. She also explores how family expectations, culture, religion, gender roles, and the need to be the "good" daughter, wife, or mother can teach us to override our own voice.
Because sometimes the question isn't, "What should I do?"
It's, "What do I already know—and what am I afraid will happen if I listen?"
You don't get a crystal ball. Both choices can have consequences. But you can learn to make decisions without abandoning yourself in the process.
If you've ever felt like you're ignoring your own needs, second-guessing yourself, afraid to disappoint people, or stuck at a crossroads, this episode is for you.
Book a real conversation with Rosanna:
Book a conversation (https://tidycal.com/foundat17?utm_source=chatgpt.com)
Found at 17:
Listen and find the podcast (https://linktr.ee/unfinishedrewrite?utm_source=chatgpt.com)
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2 ratings
Spotify
5.0 / 5
1 ratings
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