About Fucking English: self study and spicy stories that teach how to flirt if you are a nomad or wanderer
How to get along with those who turn us on, especially if English is not our native language.
Elena and Lena have had flirt and relationships in English many times – and each time it was a linguistic adventure. And school and courses hadn't prepared them for it!
The girls have decided to fix it. They invited Mr. Brett: an English teacher from Minnesota. Now they are learning how to flirt and talk about relationships in English. And they are telling their own awkward, funny, and juicy stories along.
"To leave or not to leave that is the question" — What to do after sex. Sexy Instructions for nomads and travelers
Mr. Brett insists it's better to discuss things directly, but Elena is much better at this lesson than Lena.
So while Elena protects her borscht from a forest monster and doesn't settle even for 10 out of 10, Lena circles around her own home, looking for hints from the German handsome, and hopes that a ticket home will save her from talking.
And they both put on their smartwatches and measure their heartbeat rate. Seems everything's alright: Elena gets her 200 out of ten and Lena... well... she'll be fine too as long as you keep your forks off her cheeseniki.
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We are raising 2,500 euros to fund the production of this show. So if you want to support us, please follow our Patreon – Fucking English.
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Meet our team:
• Host and storyteller Lena Volkova, the co-founder of podcast studio Hatch up. That's me!
• Host Elena, the co-founder of Visible Sports that helps people connect with healthy lifestyle anywhere in the world
• Brett Hoven, English teacher and narrator
• Producer and editor Sasha Volkova
• Composer Ksenia Kazantseva. She created our incredible jingle!
• Illustrator Antonia Lev. She made the cover for the podcast
• Sound Supervisor Mikhail Vasilev (MV7)
2 Aug 2023
"Don't erase my clit!" - How to guide your partner during sex. Sexy Instructions for nomads and travelers
This time around, our characters' relationship goes even further — and Mr. Brett finally calls clit and penises by their proper names, and also tells you how to stop what you don't like or to suggest practices that will drive you crazy. And it's no longer just about English grammar, it's about ethics. And that's why sex-ed blogger Maria @Chesnok0va joined Fucking English this time — to make sure everything we discuss is ethical and useful.
And the hostesses, as always, put theoretical advice into practice. Elena goes to a secret meeting in her professor's bedroom, and Lena goes to a theater studio to learn how to read minds. Elena communicates mostly in interjections, but still uses words once — to save her clit from being erased. And Lena marks her secret dreams in the margins of a book and tries to avoid peekaboo game.
Join Maria Chestnokova on Instagram and on Telegram
AI-Based Learning Platform Didactist is here
And here is the occasionaly mentioned project OMG.Yes
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We are raising 2,500 euros to fund the production of this show. So if you want to support us, please follow our Patreon – Fucking English.
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Meet our team:
• Host and storyteller Lena Volkova, the co-founder of podcast studio Hatch up. That's me!
• Host Elena, the co-founder of Visible Sports that helps people connect with healthy lifestyle anywhere in the world
• Brett Hoven, English teacher and narrator
• Producer and editor Sasha Volkova
• Composer Ksenia Kazantseva. She created our incredible jingle!
• Illustrator Antonia Lev. She made the cover for the podcast
• Sound Supervisor Mikhail Vasilev (MV7)
19 Jul 2023
How to move a date to a horizontal position. Spicy instructions for а wanderer in Portugal
Our fictional characters are already ready for a third date if you know what I mean. And Mr. Brett helps them find the right words: not to be too pushy and move smoothly from romance to sex. Mr. Brett even tells you how to get your mood back if your neighbors or aliens got in your way. As a result, on the sixth episode of the podcast about sex, sex finally happens! Can you believe that?
And as always Elena and Lena tell their personal stories. This episode turned out to be very musical: kuni-jingle and dick-song sound in it.
Elena does her research on lesbian sex in patriarchal Russia, hiding from parental supervision. It took her six month to apply what she had discovered on practice with her gf. And Lena had to wait even longer – 15 years to end up having sex in a forest with a wild elf.
But in this episode, everyone gets what they want sooner or later.
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We are raising 2,500 euros to fund the production of this show. So if you want to support us, please follow our Patreon – Fucking English.
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Meet our team:
• Host and storyteller Lena Volkova, the co-founder of podcast studio Hatch up. That's me!
• Host Elena, the co-founder of Visible Sports that helps people connect with healthy lifestyle anywhere in the world
• Brett Hoven, English teacher and narrator
• Producer and editor Sasha Volkova
• Composer Ksenia Kazantseva. She created our incredible jingle!
• Illustrator Antonia Lev. She made the cover for the podcast
• Sound Supervisor Mikhail Vasilev (MV7)
6 Jul 2023
Special Episode: we fly in the Tardis around Spain, and play "Would you Rather"
This time, Lena and Elena skip mr Brett's lesson. Instead of studying, they went on a trip around Europe by car. But when they got to Valencia, they realized they couldn't leave you without a new episode of Fucking English. So they put socks on their iPhones, hung sheets, blankets, and pillows in the hotel room — this is how the impromptu studio turned out. And in this studio, they made an unusual record.
Lena and Elena solve impossible dilemmas:
What is worse:
to cheat or to be cheated?
to have sex all your life with only one person, or vice versa not to stay with anyone for more than one night?
get an orgasm in every sex, but not be able to deliver it — or vice versa?
to grow old by 20 years or always remain young, but at the same time lose the ability to express emotions?
succeed in business, but fail in personal life — or vice versa?
In this episode, you will hear what Lena and Elena think about beauty, fidelity, and success — and get to know them a little better. In addition, you can find out who will get the entire prize pool of this game — a chocolate cookie. The stakes are high!
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We are raising 2,500 euros to fund the production of this show. So if you want to support us, please follow our Patreon – Fucking English.
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Meet our team:
• Host and storyteller Lena Volkova, the co-founder of podcast studio Hatch up. That's me!
• Host Elena, the co-founder of Visible Sports that helps people connect with healthy lifestyle anywhere in the world
• Brett Hoven, English teacher and narrator
• Producer and editor Sasha Volkova
• Composer Ksenia Kazantseva. She created our incredible jingle!
• Illustrator Antonia Lev. She made the cover for the podcast
• Sound Supervisor Mikhail Vasilev (MV7)
21 Jun 2023
Who pays on the first date: ghosting, Netflix, chill, and a king-size bed from IKEA. How-to instructions for a wanderer in Portugal
In this lesson, Mr. Brett explains how-to hint at your expectations from a first date while chatting on Tinder or Okcupid. Maybe you don’t want to pay separately for coffee or are not ready to watch Netflix under one blanket on a first date? Mr. Brett will help you find the right words to talk about it.
And as always, Lena and Elena apply this advice on real people. And in real life, something always goes wrong. So here is Elena who is trying to “fuck over discomfort”, and Lena who forgot to discuss expectations with two guys assembling her IKEA king-size bed. Elena passes a terrible endurance test, and Lena encourages princes to fix her faucet in order to choose a husband. Elena spends her last money on a trip with a girl to Bali. And Lena is confused: whether she pays for her boyfriend or not, nothing good comes of it.
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This episode is sponsored by Visible Sports, a platform to help you find sports and physical activity wherever you are.
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We are raising 2,500 euros to fund the production of this show. So if you want to support us, please follow our Patreon – Fucking English.
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Meet our team:
• Host and storyteller Lena Volkova, the co-founder of podcast studio Hatch up. That's me!
• Host Elena, the co-founder of Visible Sports that helps people connect with healthy lifestyle anywhere in the world
• Brett Hoven, English teacher and narrator
• Producer and editor Sasha Volkova
• Composer Ksenia Kazantseva. She created our incredible jingle!
• Illustrator Antonia Lev. She made the cover for the podcast
• Sound Supervisor Mikhail Vasilev (MV7)
7 Jun 2023
Putin, Kropotkin, and the Hulk — how-to find your person on Tinder or Okсupid. Spicy instructions for а wanderer in Portugal
Somehow, Putin, Kropotkin, the She-Hulk, and the orchid goddess have sneaked into this episode. How? Probably because Jessica is filling out her Tinder and Okcupid profiles – and is trying to hint to the guys what she would appreciate and what she won’t tolerate. It’s difficult to do it both clearly and nicely, so she needs all possible help!
And the hosts Lena and Elena share their own stories. Elena is dumped by a girl because she doesn't separate garbage. Lena walks through the Pushkin Museum among the paintings of Chagall to meet a sophisticated cadet. Elena plays in a flag football team but feels lonely. Lena is ghosting a redheaded Assyrian god. Elena takes a break from her PlayStation to discuss Kafka with her wife.
And in this episode we didn’t play it safe: in our stories we are giggling at racists, touching on anarchism, and the Soviet Union, and asking a trans-person uncomfortable questions to understand what it's like to feel like a woman.
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We are raising 2,500 euros to fund the production of this show. So if you want to support us, please follow our Patreon – Fucking English.
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Meet our team:
• Host and storyteller Lena Volkova, the co-founder of podcast studio Hatch up. That's me!
• Host Elena, the co-founder of Visible Sports that helps people connect with healthy lifestyle anywhere in the world
• Brett Hoven, English teacher and narrator
• Producer and editor Sasha Volkova
• Composer Ksenia Kazantseva. She created our incredible jingle!
• Illustrator Antonia Lev. She made the cover for the podcast
• Sound Supervisor Mikhail Vasilev (MV7)
24 May 2023
“At least I’ll play PlayStation” or what happens on spontaneous dates. How-to instructions for a wanderer in Portugal
Three friends argue about what is more romantic: spontaneity or preparedness. What do you think? Mr. Brett, our teacher from Minnesota will also give us some phases to go play along with.
And our hostesses Elena and Lena will tell you how they used these tips in practice.
This time they just couldn’t sit still. Here is Lena, with her pants down, sneaking along the glass wall. Elena is driving to the third date through the storm, dodging uprooted trees. And now Lena again: rushing in flames to the lake to cool down. And even grandmother's pickles, which were quietly sitting on the sideboard for 70 years, are now thrown away. But don't worry, it's all for love.
In this episode, many have suffered, but it was worth it. You know, traveling across language barriers and cultural differences is a bit dangerous, but exciting.
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We are raising 2,500 euros to fund the production of this show. So if you want to support us, please follow our Patreon – Fucking English.
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Meet our team:
• Host and storyteller Lena Volkova, the co-founder of podcast studio Hatch up. That's me!
• Host Elena, the co-founder of Visible Sports that helps people connect with healthy lifestyle anywhere in the world
• Brett Hoven, English teacher and narrator
• Producer and editor Sasha Volkova
• Composer Ksenia Kazantseva. She created our incredible jingle!
• Illustrator Antonia Lev. She made the cover for the podcast
• Sound Supervisor Mikhail Vasilev (MV7)
10 May 2023
How to get yourself casually invited to a bar even if others forgot to do it
How do you hang out on a Friday night if you don't know anyone in town? Mr. Brett will offer a few phrases to get an invitation to the bar and, perhaps, continue the evening in a more private place... But if you hope that we have all figured out then you are mistaken.
In this episode, Lena runs away from the police with her boyfriend, and Elena meets a girl in a funny hat in OkCupid, gets into the epicenter of the Finnish drama, and also tries to find out when the American "someday" will come.
And although everyone in this episode went through some misunderstanding, at least all the characters managed to escape the claws of carnivorous plants. And it's just luck! As you know traveling, and overcoming language barriers and cultural differences is fascinating and damn dangerous.
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We are raising 2,500 euros to fund the production of this show. So if you want to support us, please follow our Patreon – Fucking English.
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Meet our team:
• Host and storyteller Lena Volkova, the co-founder of podcast studio Hatch up. That's me!
• Host Elena, the co-founder of Visible Sports that helps people connect with healthy lifestyle anywhere in the world
• Brett Hoven, English teacher and narrator
• Producer and editor Sasha Volkova
• Composer Ksenia Kazantseva. She created our incredible jingle!
• Illustrator Antonia Lev. She made the cover for the podcast
• Sound Supervisor Mikhail Vasilev (MV7)
2 May 2023
We're Gonna Tease You! Self study lessons with spicy stories for a wanderer in Portugal
In five minutes we are going to convince you to subscribe to our podcast and never miss a single episode. Will we succeed? Listen and find out!
Fucking English is a podcast on how-to speak the language of those who turn us on, especially if English is not your first language. We know a lot about it: we both used to live and flirt in the USA, Germany, Portugal, Finland, Ivory Coast, Georgia, Russia, and hell knows where else.
Here's how everything works in our podcast. Every 2 weeks Mr. Brett, our teacher from Minnesota sends a lesson of spicy English. He always helps us choose the right words and grammar for flirt, sex, and relationships in English.
We listen to Mr. Brett's lessons together and then tell our own stories which are related to the topic of the lesson. These stories are sometimes funny, sometimes awkward or embarrassing, but each time we try to find common ground despite language and cultural barriers.
So this podcast is for you if you are a nomad or a wanderer in migration. And you can use it for self study.
We are raising 2,500 euros to fund the production of this show. So if you want to spot us, please follow our Patreon – Fucking English.
Meet our team:
• Host and storyteller Lena Volkova, the co-founder of podcast studio Hatch up. That's me!
• Host Elena, the co-founder of Visible Sports that helps people connect with healthy lifestyle anywhere in the world
• Brett Hoven, English teacher and narrator
• Producer and editor Sasha Volkova
• Composer Ksenia Kazantseva. She created our incredible jingle!
• Illustrator Antonia Lev. She made the cover for the podcast
• Sound Supervisor Mikhail Vasilev (MV7)
Reach and audience
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Apple Podcasts (US)
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Contact Fucking English: self study and spicy stories that teach how to flirt if you are a nomad or wanderer
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